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╬ProperArtist╬

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Thank you dark hero Riku you truely understand what it means to be mature, to understand the intellectual side of things...its nice to see people who still have that essence of maturity in them...and to see it at your age is amazing...I appreciate your comments.....Many of us go through life lessons to truely understand what it means to be mature and some of us are naturally born with it....whether we chose to accept it is up to us as people....

like i said everyone, and spread the word If you'd like....I'm here for you whenever you need me....in the shadows waiting for that moment when I am called apon, and asked to help those in need once more....

till then...yours truely

~Fallen Angel~
 

Nehxaa666

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this is kinda like turning into an anime where there are people in distraught and pain. what i think is that though you are mature, if you can just kind of pass by without deep thoughtxs(can't find the right word) then you aren't an angel. we don't have anything to really look forward if it pertains to us, so like what is the true point of living other than to help others.
unfortunatly, i have to say the whole devil thing...it isn't final yet. but can one really break free from what they swore and still swear and promise to keep?
hmm...inspiration floats all around us, as this forum has inspired me to continue on to write a book. i don't know what to call it yet, but it will tell the story of a lost angel and how he/she finds another angel and they work through it, or something like that.
hmm...so add onto the problem, i am going out with this girl and she has a friend who really likes her. and her friend hates me for no reason, but she is tearing us apart. so what do you do when it's like you're losing your person that you really trust in to another person, it's just devastating.
people with certain intellect and personality can see past material items such as ps3 and things like that. they look more into emotions such as love and hate, envy and purification. and some of us just can't escape the darkness and could really care less about other things. so what happens when one loses all of those abstract things?
 
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^ sorry Nexhal, I was just attempting to be funny.

The other parts of the list had the other side of things. I also left out not being there to comfort anyone else again. Maybe YOU could have touched someone else's life, but because you are no longer around that person will wander through and not be as great.

Trust me, helping someone improve their life improves your life as well. Karma.

But that whole PS3, that was me trying to give a humorous reason before I actualy forced you to think very deeply.

Being too abrupt with stuff like that can make things worse.
 

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this is kinda like turning into an anime where there are people in distraught and pain. what i think is that though you are mature, if you can just kind of pass by without deep thoughtxs(can't find the right word) then you aren't an angel. we don't have anything to really look forward if it pertains to us, so like what is the true point of living other than to help others.
unfortunatly, i have to say the whole devil thing...it isn't final yet. but can one really break free from what they swore and still swear and promise to keep?
hmm...inspiration floats all around us, as this forum has inspired me to continue on to write a book. i don't know what to call it yet, but it will tell the story of a lost angel and how he/she finds another angel and they work through it, or something like that.
hmm...so add onto the problem, i am going out with this girl and she has a friend who really likes her. and her friend hates me for no reason, but she is tearing us apart. so what do you do when it's like you're losing your person that you really trust in to another person, it's just devastating.
people with certain intellect and personality can see past material items such as ps3 and things like that. they look more into emotions such as love and hate, envy and purification. and some of us just can't escape the darkness and could really care less about other things. so what happens when one loses all of those abstract things?


To answer your question, funny enough I've gone through exactly what you're describing in more ways than one. I've had to indure like I said me and my gf's relationship being torn apart because of friends on both side of the fence. Whether it was my bestfriend disrespecting her by hanging up on her when I asked him to answer the phone, or whether its her friends with their seemingly endless insluts and doubts they through at me, because they think I'm something that I'm not. And the most recent of these situations is with my friend Jarmaine. I've known him for 4 years, he's become a good friend of mine, and I can talk to him about stuff cause he's got that intellectual side too. But it wasn't till recently that someone I've known for 6 years who's become a jerk, pretender, dumbass type person that I've and everyone else I know has grown to hate,because of the things he does and says. Everyone knows I don't like Jerrell, but my friends continue to hang out with him, I told Jarmaine ya know whenever yall hang out with Jerrell I don't wanna be there, and before I could finish he hung up in my face. So I took it as if he wasn't man enough to listen to what I had say then, I'm just gonna have to cut him loose....couple days went by and he's apologized, cause he saw he was wrong....thats my friend, he's actually the one that gave me the courage to ask Ana out....i have alot to think him for, and now everythings cool. But with your situation just tell your interest that you can't be around her when said person is around, cause it makes you uncomfortable. If she can't handle that I'm sorry to say this but your gonna have cut her loose. Its one of the things that happens in life, there comes a time when you have to get rid of those who can't see how you feel, who can't understand your emotions no matter how long you've been friends no matter how strong the feelings are, its gonna have to happen if said girl that you like can't understand and do what she needs to do to make you feel better....just one of the pain parts of growing up, just one of the things thats part of being an angel...

Pain its our life, its our purpose, its our reason....

the one and only...
~Fallen Angel~
 

Nehxaa666

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^ sorry Nexhal, I was just attempting to be funny.

The other parts of the list had the other side of things. I also left out not being there to comfort anyone else again. Maybe YOU could have touched someone else's life, but because you are no longer around that person will wander through and not be as great.

Trust me, helping someone improve their life improves your life as well. Karma.

But that whole PS3, that was me trying to give a humorous reason before I actualy forced you to think very deeply.

Being too abrupt with stuff like that can make things worse.
lol...i'm sorry. i didn't mean to seem rude or anything. yeah they were hilarious reasons to be around :D
do you believe more in karma, chi, or chakra?
 

Nehxaa666

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sorry for the double post, the first one was in responce to Dark Hero Riku. This one is in responce to Venom
mew...yeah i have tried many times to cut her loose, it's just that my will isn't strong enough to continue life, just because she's my trust bond in this world.
plus, i spent like the first 13 years of life alone, and i don't want to be like that again..it's just too scary.
Venom, i don't want you to think that you are alone...because i guarantee there are people out there that care about you...expecially us here on this forum.
life is a miserable shit hole, and us angels are here to solve problems, whether they are as big as federal issues(unlikely) or problems with small people that tend to be closer to us.
but your're right, that's just the way we function and we live. hmm...so here's another problem.
i once had a friend who was really close to me. we had a connection (anime) and spent a good majority of our time together. but then like i got banned from our connection and like she met her first friend that was a guy and like he loved anime too, and so she started like ignoring me
and then after that like she and i wouldn't hang out or anything and i never got to talk to her. and we lsst similar interests...but i didn't want to leave her because she was like the best friend i ever had at that moment in my life.
and then like after that, she started hating the dude and suddenly because a slutty flirt who still ignored me. and the only reason she comes with me anymore is because i can help her solve her problems and stuff.
other than that, she ignores me and stands me up...and and and..i don't want to drop her cfriendship, but i don't want to have to deal with her anymore. what should i do with her?
 

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somewhat yes, because through our own aura, essence when can make others happy, or in some cases we have the sense of fear, because of one's aura(ki), just like dogs don't like some people because of their chakara. And its the same when we get a bad feeling about something, that chi is so overpowering you feel as such. Just like we as people give our chi to others mentally and emotionally until we are drained....


well sadly if she doesn't start appreciating what you do for her, and can't look past her "friendship" with this boy...Theres nothing you can do but cut her loose. Its a hard circumstance to go through, trust me like I said before I've been there, its hurts, but its something that needs to be done, if what you want isn't being fufilled out of said friendship. You can help others and be there for them, but to an extent, if she can't accept your feelings now, and just comes to you when she needs something, its time to say good bye....its how life is, its how we as angel's live our lives in suffering in sorrow, until one day everything is okay....whatever that freedom is, (and I don't mean death-because its the easy way out)....The life you live seems painful and horrid, like its the worst ever, but things can get worse and they can get better....you just have to do the best thing possible, because either way your gonna suffer, if you don't cut her loose your emotion will suffer greatly do to her obvious ignorance of you, and if you do cut her loose you will deal with the pain of losing a loved one. Its hard but you have to whats best, and I know the best isn't whats always the easiest thing to do, but it helps in the long run....

the protector, the defender, and shield to all you seek it

~Fallen Angel~
 
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Nehxaa666

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hmm....yeah
it's weird how people out there are so like...ignorant. they can't see what's past their own noses. they just don't understand the pain we go through.
do angels really have that many problems, because like, i just have so many. and this one is more than just a 'break off friendship' one.
okay, like there is this one girl that i knew since 3rd grade, and i really appreciated her being there for me. and like, between fifth and sixth grade i moved to a new school district and we kind of went our seperate ways, i guess. well then like we just kinda talked every once and a while. and like we seemed to still get along. but then she suddenly turned different. she started hanging out with boys and 'ho's and like took control of any decisions. and all of her innoncence and stuff and like started drinking and having it....and like i didn't really do anything to try and stop her because i didn't want to lose her as a friend.
well, then like after that, she and i started bonding again and like slept over three weeks in a row and like one of those nights, she wanted to sneak out of her house. and i could remember very clearly her words
"As soon as my parents are getting home, i'm sneaking out."
and i like protested and she said
"don't worry. ican tell him to bring a friend."
and like i protested to that too....and like yeah. so that's when i really noticed her starting to act wierd and going down the wrong path. but i was afraid to tell anybody because i didn't want to lose her friendship. yeah, so a couple of weeks went by and like one day i called her house and it turned out her mother had sent her away to go live with her uncle in arizona. and she would call me like twice the entire 4 months. yeah, so finally she came back to ohio and i was all excited.
i thought she would have changed because the move was a punishment for her attitude towards life. and like suddenly, one day, she ran away....
she kept calling me to tell me where she was and like i was so worried that i would tell her parents where she was right after she'd inform me. but then, after one time, i never recieved any more calls and her parents wouldn't talk to me and stuff. it's almost be an entire year...it will be this upcoming may. but i don't know where she is or if she's even still alive. everything around me reminds me of her and for three months of my life, just this past summer, i had lived only five minutes from her.
it's awful....so i've started writing her a note, and it's gonna be an entire notebook full....but i'm so worried

hmmm i feel bad because i've been only talking about my problems...and an angel is meant to help others. so anybody with problems, i want to do my best to help you.
sincerally,
the other angel
 

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Don't worry its not bad that you ask for help, part of helping others is getting help yourself, its something I've had to learn the hard way. But with that situation theres really nothing you can do, you don't know where she is, what she's doing or if she's still alive, the best thing to do is just do your best to forget such an insident....its gonna be hard, cause you've had such a tie with them. And what you must realize is that you don't need to sink to others level, to become what they are, are put up with their crap all because you want to be their friend. Thats basicly destroying and setting aside your own beliefs for someone else, for the wrong reasons.....you gotta look at it as she was going down the wrong path anyway, theres only so much you could have done, but in the end you were just trying to help someone who didn't want help....so you have to let her go...in mentally, emotionally, and physically
 

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mew, yeah i guess
it's just that...jeez i dunno
what do you think the purpose of life is?
like why does god make us go through this?
why does he want people to lose faith in him?
why not just go out and be like
"look at me world, i am god"
and stuff like that.
see, he makes tests for us
and some people can't handle them
and end up killing themselves
and he sends them to hell???
why is that?
isn't he suppossed to be the ultimate forgiver?
 

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He is the ultimate forgiver, but at the same time he's always testing us. He gives us our own paths to choose, our own destiny's to decide. He doesn't force us to believe in him, because as god he gives us the freedom to believe in what we want, the knowledge and will to know and understand him is given to us freely, but its up to us whether or not we chose to believe. He makes us go through pain and suffering to understand what it truely means to understand and appericate life as it is. If we were sheltered and loved all the time, by everyone, life would be taken for granted...and viewed as a guarrenteed road to success no matter what you do in life....but to have consequences behind the choices we make, and to have to go through pain and suffering makes us truely understand what it means to have a life, what it truelly means to have faith and believe....that is why he does what he does...that is why we endure such trials and tribulations....because he's always testing us, and seeing what we will do in certain situations, with certain amounts of weight on our backs and power...

its all a test....
 

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it's a stupid test. human beings were not created for such...gennie pig reasons. we were not like programmed to be able to survive the harsher tests he gives us. so ultimatly, he is setting us up for nothing.

however, now i am starting to lose faith because lately, ....i've been trying to contact the devil....and he still has not come. so does that mean that he does not exist, and if so, then does that mean that there is like no God either.
true, i once was able to speak with him...this lasted almost a full month. we would communicate through dreams...but one day...he just disapeared. and ever since that day, i've been....followed.

has anybody ever heard of shadow people? they come usually in the form of shadow, and are known as the devil's dogs. some people think that they can like possess others and stuff. so like after i lost contact, i met three of these...shadows. and they spoke to me, but i can not remember exactly what they said. i remember very clearly, their height, the shade of their eyes...a bright, blood red. i can remember the tempuature of the room, the shaking of my heart and the lack and scratchy voice that was caught in my throat. i remember hiding a good majority of my body underneath my blankets and the rest of it was chilled. i remember each goosebump crawling up my arm, then disapearing, because as soon as one made eyes contact, everything grew warm and comforting. it was nice...a kind experience on my part. i know i made a deal, i just do not know what it was.

since then, i have been followed by things. scary things. the scariest when i woke up to find a corpse like ghost in my bed. and then they started coming in my dreams and haunting my sleep. i will not go anywhere alone anymore and i am glad that i have gotten out of that house( we moved recentyly) however, i am not sure what is to come sooner or later.

i asked god to make them all leave me alone and it seemed to work for a while. however, it was after i was left alone that i started getting depressed and upset again, leading me to here.

i'm scared and that's clear when one really knows me. however, people think i am crazy because i tell them these things, and that is why i confide in this forum...because here, i can just ignore any rude comments and move on with my normal life.

a mask is what i wear...a mask is what we wear. us angels who are provoked by demons who want what? what could they possibly want from us???
i leave you with this thought for now, and hope to speak to you soon.

this forum is now open for anybody who wishes to confide....venom is a great helper and i hope to be as well. also, if you are like us, don't feel afraid to say so, this is an angel's sanctuary.

hmmm....this is yet again another double post. sorry.
i'd like to discuss more upon what exactly us fallen angels are and what our essential purpose is.
i've been reading up, and it turns out that it was Lucifer who was called the fallen angel and Satan who is the devil. they are two seperate people. but what did they do to merit their way to punishment on earth? accroding to this section i am reading, hell is contained within heaven, so how is hell a punsihment? and where is heaven? it can't be in the sky because there are too many satelights, and they would have found it already. so is it in the north pole??? or like in another dimension? there are reports of people going through caves and stumbling into another vortex...but back to the whole angel thing.
according to the other peoples...fallen angels are sent to earth under they recieve their punishment, which is to be sent to hell. "fallen angels will roam the Earth until Judgment Day, when they will be banished to Hell" why is it that so?
if satan betrayed god, then why hasn't God forgiven him yet. doesn't he like forgive everybody? and if we are 'fallen angel's, then what have we done to merit ourselves to be stuck here?
i had a lot more to say, i just kind of forgot. sorries:D
 
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Well to answer your question Nehxaa666, Its not that god has forsaken you or made you or left you alone, he just wants to let us handle our situations, and fight the darkness, the evil by ourselves...so we can fight it and be stronger people. Think about it if your not forced to live life alone, and/or have to fight said evil alone then you don't know what it means to truelly have to fight for your life.....but to have been forced to fight alone, opens up the door for you to realize what help from others really is, it helps you better protect others, talk to others, and truelly understand others postions....in essence it helps you become a better defender...because you know how it feels you know what said troubles intail so it makes helping others all the more easier....but we suffer because its part of what we do, but as a result we are given help in return....through the same people we help we find one who understands....

Though you gave into the darkness, it can still be fixed....God has given you the will to fight it thats why he protected you for so long, he was shielding you but its time you fight it off yourself....he's given you the necessary tools to fight it, the strength lies within you....It's easy to give in but harder and weakening to the devil to fight it...fighting is what you need to do, its gonna be harder but its the only way to defeat the devil.


We as fallen angels are made to suffer, but at the same time to uphold and help others along the way...to be tossed down to earth in human form in the body of children...its gonna be hard...its not that we are foresaken and we've been turn apon...its that through our lives we have potential points to make whether to do good or serve evil...to submit to the darkness in our hearts in the evils of the world...or do what is right at all cost to destroy it......We have the chance to be forgiven we can do the right thing...we just have to stay strong...to not submit...to the evil...to stay faithful.....

its the only way....
sure we'll mess up along the way but its apart of being human now......

if you ever need anything just call....

as always

~the Fallen Angel~
 

Nehxaa666

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but what if i don't want to fight the devil? what if i want what he has to offer. i just want everybody to be happy and i am willing to give up my soul and a thousand years of service to his part. i just want for everybody to be happy :'(

and ck the fat, your words are hurtful and i think that you are entitled to your opinion..but that is not the point of this thread. there is a discussion section on religion.
 

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Starvos- ok here are my thought that I shall share with you about your first post.

I have known a few people who have either attempted suicide or have full-out committed it. In my opinion it is the wrong way to go. I think that the reason why we suffer is so that one day when we do experience happiness we will truly be able to appreciate it for what it is. Those who are handed life on a platter never have a chance to experience the gritty end of life and take their happiness for granted.

You shouldnt let the bad times get you down and if this is mostly about a girl then I know its not what you wanna hear but there are other girls in the world better suited for u if she isnt. Chances are that there is a girl who is exactly what you are looking for it just takes trial and error. You have to break a few eggs to get an omelet (I think thats how it goes). Well I really cant say for sure if my way of thinking is right but according to my old shrink it is true.

Of course I wasnt suicidal when I went I was just having some anger issues and by some I mean a lot. Life had kicked me around and I was in a bad place but pretty much everyone goes through that at some point in their lives and you are still young so look forward to the future and dont regret the past.
 

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I admit; I made a mistake in posting this here. I am used to more diverse boards with a broader audiance set in a more free-for-all environment (you can get into the Free For All in the Young Composer's forum without reading a seperate policy statement.)

Though I do refute your claim that my subject is irrelevant, I will no longer continue discussion of it and have in fact removed my previous posts.

My apologies.
 
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Nehxaa666

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henksie, this is what has been told to all of us since fifth grade, but i believe you said it better than anybody ever could. thankyou for your comment.


also, to like bring back earlier, b4 the convo was lyk killed..:
but what if i don't want to fight the devil? what if i want what he has to offer. i just want everybody to be happy and i am willing to give up my soul and a thousand years of service to his part. i just want for everybody to be happy :'(
 
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