What did ur parents do or how did they react when you came out to them? And how do you express yourself?

[Somnus cealum]

Some of yalls parents might have loved, hated, or did not cared about it.

my parents on the other hand, MY MOM CRIED LIKE A BABY SAYING I'M GOING TO HELL AND MY DAD PUNISHED ME!!!! Like i don't know if other parents have did that, but i know one person who can relate to this and i talked to them.

thats one reason why they don't trust me with electronic alot and when they find out i was dating a guy i known for 2 years, they took away my ps4 and my phone cus i was talking to him on there and on my phone.
They keep saying "You know why we took away your ps4, because you did something wrong." Dating is not wrong. they did something wrong.

And my dad keeps saying i'm a christian if i like it or not and i'm going to marry a woman just cus i "will like P***y just cus its good and warm and its feels better then A**."

Like idc who i am with anyway and idc what's in their pants. i care about peoples heart and personality, and if they have things in common with me. but the way i express myself i see it is better for me to be with someone who is boyish and who can do boyish stuff like play video games with me and watch anime and idc if its a tom boy(Boyish girl) or a actual boy.

I don't wanna be in a religion because its to controlling for me. i'm not against it its just i don't wanna be in them. it's not my cup of tea, but im forced to have that cup of tea. i been forced to be a christian my whole life, and idk why i thought it was ok. it's not. i have my own free will to choose who i want to be.

i'm only my parents child, not something they can tell who to be and who not to be. they say there not that way but they are. and there basically crushing my dreams to be a vet. they say stuff like i'm better at doing this thing then taking care of animals. it just gets me mad when they say i can be something else then a vet.

 

[AegisXIII]

It seems that you are having a hard time right now.

I never got this kind of struggle in my life as I was born straight. However I got to struggle with some religious people in my family that refuse to talk to me as I am not doing things the "Christian way". You see, living with your girlfriend and not be married to her is a blasphemy.

Then I realized:
People who act like this are scared to death of this idea of hell. They are not doing this out of malice but because they are genuinely afraid.
Some of them believe they will go to hell because they probably raised their children the wrong way for them to behave this way. Some of them do not know how to differentiate what's good from what's bad (I cannot blame them. the world is insanely complicated), and so it's easier to rely on a book that tells you what to do.
They might also be affraid to never get to see grandchildren and see their family name disappear.
I am not saying they are right but there are many reasons why they might be acting rather irrational.

Two things strike me when I read your post:
1. You are frustrating against your parents but you do not seem to hate them for their opinions.
2. You do not hate religion, you just don't want it forced down your throat.
If I am assuming right, I think that this is the correct approach. Do not let yourself consume by hate.

My only advice might be to secure your future and your independence. We are not given all the same decks at birth, some need to work harder, some less. i don't know what your path will be, but try to maximize your chances to have a good career so that you can be financially independent from anyone. Then, maybe your parents will see that they were wrong to be worried for your future and they might accept you for who you are.

But note that whatever happens it might probably take years. But the door is never completely shut.

Good luck.

 

[Form Oblivion]

I don't wanna be in a religion because its to controlling for me. i'm not against it its just i don't wanna be in them. it's not my cup of tea, but im forced to have that cup of tea. i been forced to be a christian my whole life, and idk why i thought it was ok. it's not. i have my own free will to choose who i want to be.

Being forced to be a Christian is wrong. Christians spread the Good News, but they should never force others to be Christians. That's not right. It is the individual's choice whether they accept Jesus into their heart or not.

But Christianity isn't about religion. Being a Christian means you have your own personal relationship with God.

"What does it mean to be a Christian? It means God lives in you. ...That is the essence of what it means to have a relationship with God in salvation."
-Pastor John McArthur

 

[Willow A113]

Some of yalls parents might have loved, hated, or did not cared about it.

my parents on the other hand, MY MOM CRIED LIKE A BABY SAYING I'M GOING TO HELL AND MY DAD PUNISHED ME!!!! Like i don't know if other parents have did that, but i know one person who can relate to this and i talked to them.

thats one reason why they don't trust me with electronic alot and when they find out i was dating a guy i known for 2 years, they took away my ps4 and my phone cus i was talking to him on there and on my phone.
They keep saying "You know why we took away your ps4, because you did something wrong." Dating is not wrong. they did something wrong.

And my dad keeps saying i'm a christian if i like it or not and i'm going to marry a woman just cus i "will like P***y just cus its good and warm and its feels better then A**."

Like idc who i am with anyway and idc what's in their pants. i care about peoples heart and personality, and if they have things in common with me. but the way i express myself i see it is better for me to be with someone who is boyish and who can do boyish stuff like play video games with me and watch anime and idc if its a tom boy(Boyish girl) or a actual boy.

I don't wanna be in a religion because its to controlling for me. i'm not against it its just i don't wanna be in them. it's not my cup of tea, but im forced to have that cup of tea. i been forced to be a christian my whole life, and idk why i thought it was ok. it's not. i have my own free will to choose who i want to be.

i'm only my parents child, not something they can tell who to be and who not to be. they say there not that way but they are. and there basically crushing my dreams to be a vet. they say stuff like i'm better at doing this thing then taking care of animals. it just gets me mad when they say i can be something else then a vet.

My parents never gave a fuck about my privacy. They think they always need to check my phone to make sure there are only "clean and pure" things on there. Well back in June 2020, my parents did it. And they saw me come out to discord. That's when they found out I'm trans. It's been a shitty life ever since. They took away discord. I came out on Twitter and followed a few LGBT accounts on there. Twitter was taken away. Then Facebook. Also, I can only watch youtube on the tv right now so they can see what I'm watching so they can make sure it's "good".
They keep telling me "we love you no matter what, but we don't agree with this" (I believe you, but I'm not feeling the love) and "we don't care what you believe, in this house you're a boy and that's that" (can't they just think for a moment how hurtful it is to hear that you can't be who you are?) oh, and, "we're just trying to do what's right" (well, what's "right" is ruining my life) and don't forget the "it's science" speech (if you did your research, you'd see it's kind of the opposite). And when talking about religion, they're like "I don't think or hope it's true, I know it's true" (I have no problem with religion, but people shouldn't talk that way to people who believe something differant, it invalidates their beliefs).
My parents believe that hell is reserved for the worst of the worst. Like, worse than HITLER kind of bad (yes, that bad). But they also believe that heaven is split into three parts, and I'm going to the worst of those parts.
I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend, and I hope you were able to stick together despite your parents. What your dad said is stupid (and kind of objectifies women). He's talking like sex is the only thing that matters in a relationship, when (NEWS FLASH!) it's one of (if not) the least important things. It's all about spending time and being happy with a person. Honestly, I feel like he was just grasping at straws trying to find "proof", no matter how stupid it was.
They would defiantly get mad if I had a boyfriend (I don't have a boyfriend, I'm just being hypothetical). They would think it's gay even though it's more of a straight thing since I'm a girl. They would probably force me to never see him again. I also lean more towards masculine (whether it be a boy or a masculine girl).
I'm forced to go to church every Sunday and it's awful. I try to just think about anime or something but I still feel like crying whenever I'm there. It's not the religion that makes me hate going there. It's the fact that I'm forced and also the majority (not all) of the people there use their religion as an excuse to be homophobic. My sister is part of the same religion as my parents and she is as supportive as a straight/cis person can be.
I think it's terrible that your parents are saying that you can't be a vet. Do they think it's too feminine or something? Boys can like animals too! I hope you can get the job someday. I actually have another friend named Erin who also wants to be a vet.
I'm sorry if I made this about me. I have no idea how to end this lol. But I guess just: things will get better.

 

[Somnus cealum]

you do not seem to hate them for their opinions.


Good luck.

i kinda do hate them. like i never heard of parents like them. my dad just said that im like him and his dad. im nothing like them becuase if my grandpa was alive and knew about me, i bet he would kill me, hearing the things about my grandpa scares me and im just happy he is dead.

 

[Somnus cealum]

My parents never gave a fuck about my privacy. They think they always need to check my phone to make sure there are only "clean and pure" things on there. Well back in June 2020, my parents did it. And they saw me come out to discord. That's when they found out I'm trans. It's been a shitty life ever since. They took away discord. I came out on Twitter and followed a few LGBT accounts on there. Twitter was taken away. Then Facebook. Also, I can only watch youtube on the tv right now so they can see what I'm watching so they can make sure it's "good".
They keep telling me "we love you no matter what, but we don't agree with this" (I believe you, but I'm not feeling the love) and "we don't care what you believe, in this house you're a boy and that's that" (can't they just think for a moment how hurtful it is to hear that you can't be who you are?) oh, and, "we're just trying to do what's right" (well, what's "right" is ruining my life) and don't forget the "it's science" speech (if you did your research, you'd see it's kind of the opposite). And when talking about religion, they're like "I don't think or hope it's true, I know it's true" (I have no problem with religion, but people shouldn't talk that way to people who believe something differant, it invalidates their beliefs).
My parents believe that hell is reserved for the worst of the worst. Like, worse than HITLER kind of bad (yes, that bad). But they also believe that heaven is split into three parts, and I'm going to the worst of those parts.
I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend, and I hope you were able to stick together despite your parents. What your dad said is stupid (and kind of objectifies women). He's talking like sex is the only thing that matters in a relationship, when (NEWS FLASH!) it's one of (if not) the least important things. It's all about spending time and being happy with a person. Honestly, I feel like he was just grasping at straws trying to find "proof", no matter how stupid it was.
They would defiantly get mad if I had a boyfriend (I don't have a boyfriend, I'm just being hypothetical). They would think it's gay even though it's more of a straight thing since I'm a girl. They would probably force me to never see him again. I also lean more towards masculine (whether it be a boy or a masculine girl).
I'm forced to go to church every Sunday and it's awful. I try to just think about anime or something but I still feel like crying whenever I'm there. It's not the religion that makes me hate going there. It's the fact that I'm forced and also the majority (not all) of the people there use their religion as an excuse to be homophobic. My sister is part of the same religion as my parents and she is as supportive as a straight/cis person can be.
I think it's terrible that your parents are saying that you can't be a vet. Do they think it's too feminine or something? Boys can like animals too! I hope you can get the job someday. I actually have another friend named Erin who also wants to be a vet.
I'm sorry if I made this about me. I have no idea how to end this lol. But I guess just: things will get better.

its ok and thank you. but hell i know has 9 levels and the higher the level the worse you are. i guess im gonna be at level 1 or 2 cus i havent killed anyone.

and no my ex bf said he dont have feelings for me anymore. i blame that on my parents since i havent contacted him for months. like my parents found out feb 2020 and i contacted him sept 2020. so a long time. he says we can still be friends but i dont talk to him anymore since i dont wanna talk to my exs. it makes my cry...

and im happy my mom don't check my phone anymore. i hope she dont cus she havent did it since sept 2020.
maybe she realized im too old to get checked.

and he knows that sex is not everything but he says that a p*ss* is better then *ss. how does he know when he only did one of them... idc who i do it with i just wanna do it with someone i love and trust. and since im feminine, i rather be with a masculine.

and im a switch which means im both top and bottom. so i hope the person i will be with is a switch too... lmao and i think im more submissive then dominant in a relationship. but i can be both if i try lol

 

[Willow A113]

its ok and thank you. but hell i know has 9 levels and the higher the level the worse you are. i guess im gonna be at level 1 or 2 cus i havent killed anyone.

and no my ex bf said he dont have feelings for me anymore. i blame that on my parents since i havent contacted him for months. like my parents found out feb 2020 and i contacted him sept 2020. so a long time. he says we can still be friends but i dont talk to him anymore since i dont wanna talk to my exs. it makes my cry...

and im happy my mom don't check my phone anymore. i hope she dont cus she havent did it since sept 2020.
maybe she realized im too old to get checked.

and he knows that sex is not everything but he says that a p*ss* is better then *ss. how does he know when he only did one of them... idc who i do it with i just wanna do it with someone i love and trust. and since im feminine, i rather be with a masculine.

and im a switch which means im both top and bottom. so i hope the person i will be with is a switch too... lmao and i think im more submissive then dominant in a relationship. but i can be both if i try lol

I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. My parents say they'll stop phone checks when I'm 18. Your dad sound really stupid. I think I'm a bottom, but I might be a switch I don't really know lol.

i kinda do hate them. like i never heard of parents like them. my dad just said that im like him and his dad. im nothing like them becuase if my grandpa was alive and knew about me, i bet he would kill me, hearing the things about my grandpa scares me and im just happy he is dead.

I wish I didn't, but I hate mine. Like this intense feeling of anger swells within me whenever I'm around them and I don't know how to stop it.

 

[Form Oblivion]

They keep telling me "we love you no matter what, but we don't agree with this" (I believe you, but I'm not feeling the love) and "we don't care what you believe, in this house you're a boy and that's that" (can't they just think for a moment how hurtful it is to hear that you can't be who you are?) oh, and, "we're just trying to do what's right" (well, what's "right" is ruining my life)

It's what they believe is right, and they're truly doing it out of love even though it might not seem like it. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like they're Christian or Catholic, and if so, they believe that in the beginning, God made 'male and female':

So God created man, in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. -Genesis 1:27

That's what they believe. And they raised you up in that belief with love, hoping you will not stray from that path.
(There's also other passages in the Bible concerning homosexuality, which clearly states it is a sin. Speaking of, I found this on the internet; it's a chapter from one of Pastor John McArthur's books. It's perfectly fine if you don't read it.)

So, going against what they've taught you, it angers and frustrates them, which is probably why they punish you, for discipline. But most importantly, it [most likely] hurts them. I remember once me and my family came back home from a church service and apparently my brother was reading a book just at the beginning of service. My mom scolded him because, you know, that's super disrespectful. And what did he say? He straight out said he wasn't a Christian. I heard him, and it just hurt (and the fact he said that right in my mom's face). It still hurts, hearing him swearing and saying bad words, seeing him space out during Bible study...the only hope I have for him is that he is at least listening.

I'm totally not saying you should believe them because they say so; it's completely your own decision, but I just want to let you know there's a high chance you're hurting them.

My parents believe that hell is reserved for the worst of the worst. Like, worse than HITLER kind of bad (yes, that bad). But they also believe that heaven is split into three parts, and I'm going to the worst of those parts.

Okay, that's wrong. The Bible never says Heaven is split into three parts. Oh wait! There actually is a passage that said something about the 'third heaven', but it's not talking about just Heaven. The 'three heavens' are 1). the physical sky, 2). then...was it space?? I can't recall right now 3). and Heaven.

The only thing that matters in the end is your answer to the question from God if you accept Jesus into your heart or not. There's no 'worse of the worst'. If that were the case, how do you think the apostle Paul would've ever gone to Heaven (he most assuredly did)? Prior of being a Christian, he approved murdering Christians!

I'm forced to go to church every Sunday and it's awful.

You told them you didn't want to go? And then they just said, "Nope, you're going no matter what." ? If that is the case, I'd think they're doing that hoping you'll listen to the service. Or maybe because it might look questionable to other families if you weren't there? Well I dunno.

(I don't know if this relates, but I remember asking a group at church the reason why they came to church and ALL of them, except one, said they came because their parents came (or something like that). The only other one, she said she came because of community, but I honestly was completely blown NONE of them said they came to learn about God)

I'm super sorry if I sounded offensive or stupid or anything. I try not to, but I often just seem to come out as rude lol.

 

[WaltK]

My coming out was pretty much a non-issue, luckily enough.

I hope you guys who are facing resistance from your parents stay strong and try to move on from them as soon as you can if they can’t be swayed into reason.

 

[Willow A113]

My coming out was pretty much a non-issue, luckily enough.

I hope you guys who are facing resistance from your parents stay strong and try to move on from them as soon as you can if they can’t be swayed into reason.

You're lucky. Thanks, I plan on leaving when I'm 18.

 

[Willow A113]

It's what they believe is right, and they're truly doing it out of love even though it might not seem like it. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like they're Christian or Catholic, and if so, they believe that in the beginning, God made 'male and female':

It doesn't matter if they believe it's right. It's not and it makes my life hard.

That's what they believe. And they raised you up in that belief with love, hoping you will not stray from that path.
(There's also other passages in the Bible concerning homosexuality, which clearly states it is a sin. Speaking of, I found this on the internet; it's a chapter from one of Pastor John McArthur's books. It's perfectly fine if you don't read it.)

So, going against what they've taught you, it angers and frustrates them, which is probably why they punish you, for discipline. But most importantly, it [most likely] hurts them. I remember once me and my family came back home from a church service and apparently my brother was reading a book just at the beginning of service. My mom scolded him because, you know, that's super disrespectful. And what did he say? He straight out said he wasn't a Christian. I heard him, and it just hurt (and the fact he said that right in my mom's face). It still hurts, hearing him swearing and saying bad words, seeing him space out during Bible study...the only hope I have for him is that he is at least listening.

So what if he's not listening? He doesn't need to listen if he doesn't want to and you shouldn't care.

I'm totally not saying you should believe them because they say so; it's completely your own decision, but I just want to let you know there's a high chance you're hurting them.

I don't care if I'm hurting them because they're hurting me more.

Okay, that's wrong. The Bible never says Heaven is split into three parts. Oh wait! There actually is a passage that said something about the 'third heaven', but it's not talking about just Heaven. The 'three heavens' are 1). the physical sky, 2). then...was it space?? I can't recall right now 3). and Heaven.

They believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon.

The only thing that matters in the end is your answer to the question from God if you accept Jesus into your heart or not. There's no 'worse of the worst'. If that were the case, how do you think the apostle Paul would've ever gone to Heaven (he most assuredly did)? Prior of being a Christian, he approved murdering Christians!

You told them you didn't want to go? And then they just said, "Nope, you're going no matter what." ? If that is the case, I'd think they're doing that hoping you'll listen to the service. Or maybe because it might look questionable to other families if you weren't there? Well I dunno.

They believe in "praying the gay out".

(I don't know if this relates, but I remember asking a group at church the reason why they came to church and ALL of them, except one, said they came because their parents came (or something like that). The only other one, she said she came because of community, but I honestly was completely blown NONE of them said they came to learn about God)

I'm super sorry if I sounded offensive or stupid or anything. I try not to, but I often just seem to come out as rude lol.

That's ok you didn't sound offensive. I will never become religious again because of the memories attached that kind of spoiled it and a few other more personal reasons (some of which even I don't fully understand). Still like I said before, I have no problem with religion and am welcoming of all people as long as they're welcoming to me. My sister is religious and I love her very much.

 

[Form Oblivion]

So what if he's not listening? He doesn't need to listen if he doesn't want to and you shouldn't care.

I care because I love him, despite how annoying he is. And I want to help him.

They believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon.

Uhhhmmmmm.....that's strange...? Now I'm not sure what they exactly believe, and some or maybe even most of what they do believe might be wrong. What I said before is from a Christian standpoint, so I'm not really sure right now if they believe that.

They believe in "praying the gay out".

That's not right! (And I'll be talking from a Christian standpoint here) Yes, the Bible pronounces gay, trans, etc. as sin, and that is absolute, but Christians should still bring the truth to them! 'Praying' them out?!

I will never become religious again because of the memories attached that kind of spoiled it and a few other more personal reasons (some of which even I don't fully understand). Still like I said before, I have no problem with religion and am welcoming of all people as long as they're welcoming to me. My sister is religious and I love her very much.

That's completely your decision. But just remember: the door to the truth is always wide open.

 

[Willow A113]

I care because I love him, despite how annoying he is. And I want to help him.

If you love him, you would leave him the hell alone!

Uhhhmmmmm.....that's strange...? Now I'm not sure what they exactly believe, and some or maybe even most of what they do believe might be wrong. What I said before is from a Christian standpoint, so I'm not really sure right now if they believe that.

That's not right! (And I'll be talking from a Christian standpoint here) Yes, the Bible pronounces gay, trans, etc. as sin, and that is absolute, but Christians should still bring the truth to them! 'Praying' them out?!

It's an expression. And if you believe it's a sin and it's absolute then you're queerphobic, transphobic, and you should be here.

That's completely your decision. But just remember: the door to the truth is always wide open.

No thank you.

 

[Somnus cealum]

I care because I love him, despite how annoying he is. And I want to help him.

Uhhhmmmmm.....that's strange...? Now I'm not sure what they exactly believe, and some or maybe even most of what they do believe might be wrong. What I said before is from a Christian standpoint, so I'm not really sure right now if they believe that.

That's not right! (And I'll be talking from a Christian standpoint here) Yes, the Bible pronounces gay, trans, etc. as sin, and that is absolute, but Christians should still bring the truth to them! 'Praying' them out?!

That's completely your decision. But just remember: the door to the truth is always wide open.

but really like i said i heard from a bunch of christians that the bible been translated through many languages and translation can get fractured. there is a verse that says something like man lay down with man or sum.
that is messed up and the real meaning is a older man can't lay down with a younger man. so the bible really doesnt say its wrong to be in the lgbt. and nothing wrong with being a furry.

 

[Somnus cealum]

If you love him, you would leave him the hell alone!

It's an expression. And if you believe it's a sin and it's absolute then you're queerphobic, transphobic, and you should be here.

No thank you.

im sorry. also look what i just said above this. so its ok to be who u are.

 

[Somnus cealum]

I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. My parents say they'll stop phone checks when I'm 18. Your dad sound really stupid. I think I'm a bottom, but I might be a switch I don't really know lol.

I wish I didn't, but I hate mine. Like this intense feeling of anger swells within me whenever I'm around them and I don't know how to stop it

its ok. and cool and i agree for hate

 

[Somnus cealum]

It doesn't matter if they believe it's right. It's not and it makes my life hard.

So what if he's not listening? He doesn't need to listen if he doesn't want to and you shouldn't care.

I don't care if I'm hurting them because they're hurting me more.

They believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon.

They believe in "praying the gay out".

That's ok you didn't sound offensive. I will never become religious again because of the memories attached that kind of spoiled it and a few other more personal reasons (some of which even I don't fully understand). Still like I said before, I have no problem with religion and am welcoming of all people as long as they're welcoming to me. My sister is religious and I love her very much.

thats me i will never become religious again. and WHAT IS THE BOOK OF MORMON???

 

[Somnus cealum]

I care because I love him, despite how annoying he is. And I want to help him.

Uhhhmmmmm.....that's strange...? Now I'm not sure what they exactly believe, and some or maybe even most of what they do believe might be wrong. What I said before is from a Christian standpoint, so I'm not really sure right now if they believe that.

That's not right! (And I'll be talking from a Christian standpoint here) Yes, the Bible pronounces gay, trans, etc. as sin, and that is absolute, but Christians should still bring the truth to them! 'Praying' them out?!

That's completely your decision. But just remember: the door to the truth is always wide open.

i don't think thats good cus i heard from my friend that a bunch of christians at her school said that its ok to kill furries and i heard some christians wanna kill trans and not let them have jobs and not let them in the military

 

[AegisXIII]

I think the best escape for this kind of situation is go study somewhere else. it helps to see that less oppresive environment exist. Is this an option for you in the near future?

 

[Somnus cealum]

I think the best escape for this kind of situation is go study somewhere else. it helps to see that less oppresive environment exist. Is this an option for you in the near future?

well my friend her and her fiance is adopting me in june so i will be able to get away from my old parents.