Help/Support ► WHAT am I...?

[Santuary]

Heh, asking a load of total strangers on a forum about personal issues, yeah, thats a smart move XD

Onto the main subject.

Lately, I'v been really confused about my sexuality (Putting it bluntly). I'v been thinking alot about it, and it comes down to these 2 answers. I'm either:

Gay
Asexual

Here's the load-down. I'm 16 years old, I know for certain that I'm not straight, as I do not feel any sexual attraction towards females (Just emotional attraction). I do, however, feel sexual attraction towards other males.

Yeah, from the sounds of that, I seem gay. BUT. Despite feeling sexual attraction, I do not have a desire to have actual sexual intercourse with a dude (Infact, the idea repulses me quite alot).

I'v been told that if you don't have desires of intercourse, then that makes you asexual (Though you can still have sexual feelings). Though I don't want to have sex, admitedly, I do still...jack off. :embarassed:
I don't jack off while imagining sex, I actually get off on bondage lol.

And that's about it. Can sombody please help me through this. I'm just so confused, and it's really tearing me apart inside.

 

[Stavvy]

Age: 16

That's why.

You're still a teen (coming from a teen, I know), hormones and whatnot. It's normal.

 

[▽]

We are no psychologists, go look for one, that's the best i can offer.

 

[Shuri]

You're a pedophile.

No, in all seriousness, you're probably just gay. And a teenager. When I first confirmed my sexuality to myself, I had no real interest in having sexual intercourse with anyone either. I think you have to kind of exist in your own skin and be comfortable that way for a while before you'll feel good about getting under someone else's. Took me a couple of years after deciding I was bisexual before I actually had intimate feelings for anyone else. Just embrace yourself, whatever you are, and everything else will follow.
Plus, being gay is just more fun! We get rainbow flags. And yaoi.
And S&M is a fetish, not a sexuality. All it means is you like control, stability and orderliness in the form of tight leather pants and collars. It's WHO you like to collar/be collared by that defines your sexuality. :3

Shuri/Eli

 

[Iridium]

^ Our goal isn't to convert him :/

But like Stavvy had mentioned, it's pretty typical for your age so don't sweat it. It takes time but you'll figure out where you stand with your sexuality.

 

[Santuary]

You're a pedophile.

No, in all seriousness, you're probably just gay. And a teenager. When I first confirmed my sexuality to myself, I had no real interest in having sexual intercourse with anyone either. I think you have to kind of exist in your own skin and be comfortable that way for a while before you'll feel good about getting under someone else's. Took me a couple of years after deciding I was bisexual before I actually had intimate feelings for anyone else. Just embrace yourself, whatever you are, and everything else will follow.
Plus, being gay is just more fun! We get rainbow flags. And yaoi.
And S&M is a fetish, not a sexuality. All it means is you like control, stability and orderliness in the form of tight leather pants and collars. It's WHO you like to collar/be collared by that defines your sexuality. :3

Shuri/Eli

I guess I don't mind if I'm gay (If this confused teenager really is)
Also, it's not necciserely the control/deceplin whatever that I like about S&M. I'll leave it at that...

 

[Shuri]

^ Our goal isn't to convert him :/

You say convert, I say enthuse, tomato, tomaato.
If he's not gay, he's not gay. Unfortunately, no amount of rainbow flags will make him say otherwise. I know from experience.

Also, it's not necciserely the control/deceplin whatever that I like about S&M. I'll leave it at that...

Don't defy me, I have a PhD in bullshit. Wait on second thought I believe you.

Seriously, I would just follow what everyone else is saying: time will tell. <3

Shuri/Eli

 

[Santuary]

^ Our goal isn't to convert him :/

It's sexuality, not religion =/

 

[Stavvy]

It's sexuality, not religion =/

Both DO exist in one.

 

[Shuri]

Both DO exist in one.

Yes. The Fabulous is my god. I worship him and him alone. <3

Shuri/Eli

 

[Colours]

Welcome to the club fag :3

[CLICK HERE]

This thread should help you a lot.

 

[krexia]

Don't get too hung-up on labels. What you are is what you are, it doesn't matter what it's called. Sexuality is a sliding scale, not a bunch of discrete categories, and you're attracted to whoever you're attracted to.

Short answer? Don't worry about it. Everyone your age is in the process of figuring out just who they're attracted to sexually and why. If you're confused about the exact answer to that question, it's no surprise that you're not sexually attracted to specific people just yet. For many people their sexuality continues to change and develop through the end of their teenage years and into adulthood - I know one woman who had only ever been attracted to men, and got the shock of her life when at 22 she fell in love with a woman. To this day she's only ever been attracted to men, and that one specific woman. I also know a man who, while he admitted to finding some men attractive, was never interested in actually having a physical relationship with one - until at age 24 he fell for his first boyfriend and threw all his previous inhibitions out the window.

I was a fairly late bloomer myself, but developed into a happily sexually active adult when I was ready to. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex at age 16.

 

[Nintandy]

It took me a damn while. In fact, I'm 18 and still questioning myself at times. To be honest you sound a lot like me, although when it comes to sex I'm all for it. Not particularly fussed about anal but the rest (just the physical contact and everything else that comes with it) is what does it for me. With a woman? No. krexia's response is fantastic, because in the end, we are all born into unique environments without choosing, and we develop differently, sometimes through reasons of our own, sometimes because of reasons beyond our control. I call myself gay, and it's how people know I 'work', but I can still find women emotionally attractive, and often especially pretty. Who knows what the future holds? I've never actually been in a serious relationship before, so my feelings could easily change (or even reveal themselves further). So, in short, don't worry. As Lenka would say: Just enjoy the show~