Kay, working on a story (novel-length, hopefully), and I want some crit on the prologue. (as a warning, I won't post more, simply because I kind of don't want to the put the whole story out there, just want crit on the prologue). So...here!
Enjoy!
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The Vanishing Woods had always been off limits to Civilians. It was dark and gloomy and the trees touched the clouds, their branches grasping their neighbor’s trunks like a child’s hand grasping a mother’s arm. There were so many and they lay so intertwined that to walk beneath them was like walking in a leafy palace. It looked like twilight in there, even when the sun was at high noon and the brush of the Whispering Plains gleamed golden. Of course, night in the Vanishing Woods was like the pools of pitch black ink that the famous writers use. Night was perilous to Civilians in the Vanishing Woods.
The Woods stretched for as far as the eye can see. It waved across hills for miles and miles like a leafy ocean. To the west of the Woods washed the Milky Sea, named so for the froth that layered its waves that lapped against the magnificent roots of the Vanishing Woods. Its eastern border was lined by the Falling Cliffs which flew higher than the eye can see. The trees grew right to its edge and the top is full of unmapped mysteries. On the other side of the cliffs, which admittedly made a thick wall in nature, grew the Pinebred Mountains, a monstrous range that stretched even further south than the Vanishing Woods. And to the north…well, no one knows what lies to the north. For the Civilians the north is the Vanishing Woods. Whatever lays north concerns most definitely not them.
Few had ever lived in the Vanishing Woods. Well, this is what’s taught to Civilians in order to keep them out. If there is no one in the Woods now, why bother? But alas, the Vanishing Woods held many mysteries. Deep secrets waited in its depth and surprises lurked around each corner. Many a wild animal haunted the floor and lower boughs of the trees. Critters found houses in burrows and roots, master thieves of the Woods. Furiously brave birds dared the skies and canopy of the Woods, preying upon the imposters of their canopy and the fish of the Sea. Biting insects swarmed all areas of the forest with vicious needles. The shrubbery of the Woods was dangerous as well. Poisonous mushrooms and sour berries littered the grounds. Sappy trees dotted the Woods like the pox dotted a sickly child. The Vanishing Woods could be a Civilian’s doom.
Although this is what is said about the Woods, Civilians leave out the good things, or they just don’t know about these things. Bubbling stream striped the Woods, all said to find their origin in a hot spring of delicious water and calming auras. Many push this idea way, however. They figure it is as unbelievable as the sparkling lake that is said to be bottomless and nearly impossible to see across to the other shores. In order for this to happen, there must be a break in the trees, and alas, no one has found such an opening in the trees, although some speculate it could be found in the Pinebred Mountains, but so many more doubt this.
But the most amazing inhabitant and surprise of the Vanishing Woods is also an unknown one. Civilians have no idea of it. But I, I know what this strange inhabitant is. They are the most fascinating and my personal favorite. It is an intelligent but brutal Race. They are fiercely kind but at the same time fiercely cautious. Few have had the honor of seeing this Race. The inhabitants are beautiful, vain, and full of pride and honor, though all hold deep secrets, both individually and as a whole. Their language is luring but only they know it (well, there is a select few that have ever understood it and been allowed to speak it without having their tongue cut out), but the inhabitants are taught all languages and so after education they can speak any language they wish. The name of this Race? Ah, you’ll learn in time, but now is not that time. Though hold onto your tunics and stockings or whatever it is you wear because for the next few hours you’ll be whisked away into a land of wonder and amazement. A land of conflicts and ideas, Civilians, and the amazing inhabitants of the Vanishing Woods. A land where the value of friendship and love is lost and found. A land where your dreams come true. Welcome…to Imagination.
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Now that you've read it...would you want more? If not, what could I do to fix it? If so, what did I do right so I know to continue?
Also, what about the name, "Vanishing Woods"? Should it be "Woods" or "Wood"? I have to keep it the same throughout, but I'm not sure which I like better..
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
Enjoy!
-----------------------------------------------
The Vanishing Woods had always been off limits to Civilians. It was dark and gloomy and the trees touched the clouds, their branches grasping their neighbor’s trunks like a child’s hand grasping a mother’s arm. There were so many and they lay so intertwined that to walk beneath them was like walking in a leafy palace. It looked like twilight in there, even when the sun was at high noon and the brush of the Whispering Plains gleamed golden. Of course, night in the Vanishing Woods was like the pools of pitch black ink that the famous writers use. Night was perilous to Civilians in the Vanishing Woods.
The Woods stretched for as far as the eye can see. It waved across hills for miles and miles like a leafy ocean. To the west of the Woods washed the Milky Sea, named so for the froth that layered its waves that lapped against the magnificent roots of the Vanishing Woods. Its eastern border was lined by the Falling Cliffs which flew higher than the eye can see. The trees grew right to its edge and the top is full of unmapped mysteries. On the other side of the cliffs, which admittedly made a thick wall in nature, grew the Pinebred Mountains, a monstrous range that stretched even further south than the Vanishing Woods. And to the north…well, no one knows what lies to the north. For the Civilians the north is the Vanishing Woods. Whatever lays north concerns most definitely not them.
Few had ever lived in the Vanishing Woods. Well, this is what’s taught to Civilians in order to keep them out. If there is no one in the Woods now, why bother? But alas, the Vanishing Woods held many mysteries. Deep secrets waited in its depth and surprises lurked around each corner. Many a wild animal haunted the floor and lower boughs of the trees. Critters found houses in burrows and roots, master thieves of the Woods. Furiously brave birds dared the skies and canopy of the Woods, preying upon the imposters of their canopy and the fish of the Sea. Biting insects swarmed all areas of the forest with vicious needles. The shrubbery of the Woods was dangerous as well. Poisonous mushrooms and sour berries littered the grounds. Sappy trees dotted the Woods like the pox dotted a sickly child. The Vanishing Woods could be a Civilian’s doom.
Although this is what is said about the Woods, Civilians leave out the good things, or they just don’t know about these things. Bubbling stream striped the Woods, all said to find their origin in a hot spring of delicious water and calming auras. Many push this idea way, however. They figure it is as unbelievable as the sparkling lake that is said to be bottomless and nearly impossible to see across to the other shores. In order for this to happen, there must be a break in the trees, and alas, no one has found such an opening in the trees, although some speculate it could be found in the Pinebred Mountains, but so many more doubt this.
But the most amazing inhabitant and surprise of the Vanishing Woods is also an unknown one. Civilians have no idea of it. But I, I know what this strange inhabitant is. They are the most fascinating and my personal favorite. It is an intelligent but brutal Race. They are fiercely kind but at the same time fiercely cautious. Few have had the honor of seeing this Race. The inhabitants are beautiful, vain, and full of pride and honor, though all hold deep secrets, both individually and as a whole. Their language is luring but only they know it (well, there is a select few that have ever understood it and been allowed to speak it without having their tongue cut out), but the inhabitants are taught all languages and so after education they can speak any language they wish. The name of this Race? Ah, you’ll learn in time, but now is not that time. Though hold onto your tunics and stockings or whatever it is you wear because for the next few hours you’ll be whisked away into a land of wonder and amazement. A land of conflicts and ideas, Civilians, and the amazing inhabitants of the Vanishing Woods. A land where the value of friendship and love is lost and found. A land where your dreams come true. Welcome…to Imagination.
--------------------------------------------------------
Now that you've read it...would you want more? If not, what could I do to fix it? If so, what did I do right so I know to continue?
Also, what about the name, "Vanishing Woods"? Should it be "Woods" or "Wood"? I have to keep it the same throughout, but I'm not sure which I like better..
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!