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Gomen!, Sorry for the lateness. Midterms caught me up, but alright I've reread the first few chapters and I'm wicked confused. You have a tendency to change tenses. It's like you're trying to talk in a past and future tense all at the same time, and it's not working. I think I've got what you're trying to say, but you'll have to pick a tense. Parallelism is key into making this story flow.
I'm going through and editing it into what tense I think it is, but I think it'd be a better idea if you did it because I don't want to accidentally change the connotation of your sentences. A lot of the beginning your alluding to things, but it's rather weak. My break starts next weekend I can totally just IM with you back and forth sometime during then and we can get this story better than ever. ^_^
Just wanted to let ya'll know if you haven't know already that Im going to put off the story Warped until I finish virus and those were are just checking out the thread feel free to read what I've posted so far and my other story Virus on another thread here
Idk if this thread will be deleted if it goes without posts for a certain point of time, since there is only 6 pages of fictions so I dont want to take any chances, but the contuation of this story will be soon
The thread won't be deleted if it goes beyond the 6th page or so and you can't see it, the reason for this is because only certain threads show up that have had a post within the last month or so. But you could always just go to your profile and click on the threads started by you and this thread will always be listed so its easier to find it that way instead of searching through 5 or so pages.
But looking forward into seeing the update since you made a annoucement that there was going to be one.
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