War of the Fey



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS

Story Keeper

Anxious Writer
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
6,499
Location
Sending out my soul to worlds more beautiful
  • Nothing's Like Before
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • 15th Anniversary
  • Vulpes Union
  • Whirlwind Lancer
  • Steadfast Heart
Spoiler Spoiler Show


~----------~

Okay, I don't know why I'm posting this here. But if I can get some critic on it, thanks. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it.
 
Last edited:

Kingdomkeylight

KKL & Don't You Forget It
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
3,816
Location
I have no idea XD
  • 2013 Roleplaying Awards
Its definitely a eye grabber for sure. Though I sorta feel the other clan should have had a bit of detail, but none the less I am curious x3.
 

Story Keeper

Anxious Writer
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
6,499
Location
Sending out my soul to worlds more beautiful
  • Nothing's Like Before
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • 15th Anniversary
  • Vulpes Union
  • Whirlwind Lancer
  • Steadfast Heart
Thank you all for your feedback so far. I greatly appreciate it! *seriously I do* Alright, here's chapter one, and I promise the next chapter will be longer. Same as before, critique is welcomed and even encouraged for this piece and all future pieces.

Spoiler Spoiler Show
 
Last edited:

KingdomKey

The Traveler
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,260
  • Retired Staff
  • Graceful Assassin
  • The Gambler of Fate
  • Beauty Within
  • Cloaked Schemer
  • Whirlwind Lancer
You captured my heart, Skitty. My weakness is the Unseelie court. I absolutely adore this story! I love Mary standing up to her father like that. I'm curious if it's because she'll eventually become queen of their court? Or if it's more to do with her mother? Anyways, I'm already suspicious of Ariel. If their things are being stolen, I'd imagine it'd be her doing. Of course, I also wonder what their weaknesses is? If Mary's piercings are made out of iron or not? And I wonder if all the humans turned into servants? I'm totally fangirling right now because, this is one of my favorite kinds of stories! I can't really critique it any, cause I enjoyed it from start to finish. I only have questions that I hope to be revealed as the story goes on. :D
 

Story Keeper

Anxious Writer
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
6,499
Location
Sending out my soul to worlds more beautiful
  • Nothing's Like Before
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • 15th Anniversary
  • Vulpes Union
  • Whirlwind Lancer
  • Steadfast Heart
Sorry about the delay! I was trying to figure out if I wanted to update the thread, or if I just wanted to send it out to a small group of people via of PMs to avoid someone from stealing this idea. Something that I might do after I introduce the main cast of characters. Opinions on this idea?

Anyway, here's chapter two, or three, depending on how you look at it.

Spoiler Spoiler Show
 

KingdomKey

The Traveler
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,260
  • Retired Staff
  • Graceful Assassin
  • The Gambler of Fate
  • Beauty Within
  • Cloaked Schemer
  • Whirlwind Lancer
Yeah, I'd advise not posting more to prevent your work from being stolen. Especially if you intend to publish it someday. (You should, you really, really should turn this into a book. <3) This is a joy for me to read because, I love the introduction to characters. The fact that Dazen is presumably a prince and has relations with the King and Queen in such a manner truly amazes me. You captured their temper and their compassion so well. I fear to call it love because, fey are fickle in nature. And Dazen having mixed feelings about Colt is breathtaking for me. Their sparring match was nicely done too. Well worth the wait. <3
 

Story Keeper

Anxious Writer
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
6,499
Location
Sending out my soul to worlds more beautiful
  • Nothing's Like Before
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • 15th Anniversary
  • Vulpes Union
  • Whirlwind Lancer
  • Steadfast Heart
Thank you for the feedback Cinder! Although yes, I do hope to turn this into a book one day. I was just curious to know what people would think of the concept for it, so thank you for the opinions! :) I don't know if Dazen's a prince or not, but I do know he's got a little more wiggle room compared to other Seelie fey. :)
 

KingdomKey

The Traveler
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,260
  • Retired Staff
  • Graceful Assassin
  • The Gambler of Fate
  • Beauty Within
  • Cloaked Schemer
  • Whirlwind Lancer
Thank you for the feedback Cinder! Although yes, I do hope to turn this into a book one day. I was just curious to know what people would think of the concept for it, so thank you for the opinions! :) I don't know if Dazen's a prince or not, but I do know he's got a little more wiggle room compared to other Seelie fey. :)
Your welcome! I fully support you turning this into a book because, it's simply enchanting and refreshing to read. I haven't read a good fae story in so long. Love that Dazen has wiggle room cause, it'll keep me guessing. <3
 

JawanSenpai

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2016
Messages
2
Location
United States
This is really good! I agree with Cinder, you should definitely consider turning this into a book. Excited for more of this story!
 

Story Keeper

Anxious Writer
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
6,499
Location
Sending out my soul to worlds more beautiful
  • Nothing's Like Before
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • 15th Anniversary
  • Vulpes Union
  • Whirlwind Lancer
  • Steadfast Heart
Thanks for the feedback Javan, I'm glad you're enjoying this. I am trying to turn this into a book so I can get it published, so that's why I haven't responded in a bit. I do think I'm not going to post up anymore of the story (unfortunately), but I do have one last sneak peek chapter for you guys. After this one though, unfortunately the story is confined to just a few close friends and then the rest of the story will be made available once I finish writing it and I get it published. Now my dear readers, here is the last chapter for you!

Spoiler Spoiler Show
 

KingdomKey

The Traveler
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,260
  • Retired Staff
  • Graceful Assassin
  • The Gambler of Fate
  • Beauty Within
  • Cloaked Schemer
  • Whirlwind Lancer
Love reading this so much! I like how Holly's a changeling in this story because, it's different from solitary fey and the like. <3 Furthermore, it seems like there's an alliance brewing between the courts, if they plan to stop the oncoming war by sharing fellow weaknesses and the like. Quite clever of them really because, it covers their bases. I wonder if Holly comes from the Seelie court? I also wonder what happened to her in the past, cause it seems like she may of been hurt in the past? I'm dying to know what this prophecy is all about too. <3 Otherwise, it was great seeing every chapter you've written so far. I wish you the best with publishing it in the near future because, it's certainly fantastic, Skitty. :D
 
Top