Help/Support ► Very annoyed. Need to vent.

[ViVi94]

Wow, my friend is a total jackass sometimes. Well, she's trying to help and all, but yea. Anyway. onto the story!

Okay, my friend is trying to play match maker again. I say again because she has a habit of doing this. This time it's with ME. She found a dude's myspace and asked if he was the person I talked to last summer. Mind you I have no way of contacting him otherwise. Anyway, she messaged him again after he responded. Saying "Do you remember Amber from last summer?" He hasn't replied to that yet but he will. I hate how she does this y'know? She takes control of others lives and shapes them the way she sees fit. I begged her not to, but she insists...

Oh wait... I haven't even explained what she wants to do AFTER the messaging. She is going to tell him her phone number, then they call me three way, my friend, Caitlin, SHE hangs up and leaves me on the phone with him! GAH!!!! And that's her big, evil, master plan.

And I get this feeling when something isn't going to end well. And this time, it's ten times worse than usual. I'm getting panic attacks! And I'm very good at knowing what will end badly. Yet no one ever listens until it's too late. Then I'm stuck with the blame. *sigh* And I've told her to stop, I've begged I've pleaded, I even bribed her with money, but nothing works! She's totally driven!

So there you have it. Now, how do I tell her to kindly shut the hell up and butt out of my life? At this point, I don't even care if I hurt her feelings either, just so you know. It's MY life and she's ruining it!

 

[Nyangoro]

Lol, I have friends like that. One time, they spent the entire school day asking random girls out for me! Needless to say, it bugged me. Fortunately, they haven't tried anything recently; but I understand what you're going through, and they are tough to stop

Well, you could just keep telling her you aren't interested, but that probably won't. You'll probably end up having to go through with it (or sabotage it,lol).

Also, are you sure the intense panic attack isn't just because you like the guy?

 

[Pelafina]

You're going to have to be forceful if you want anything done.

At this point, a solution probably requires that her feeling be hurt.


Have you tried actually explaining why you don't like her doing this?

 

[Reflection]

Oh gosh, my friend did that to me a couple of months ago. Except not over myspace, in real life.

My advice is just to let her do what she wants, but when you talk to the guy, tell him you're really not interested and that your friend is forcing you to do this.

If he understands that, it should pass eventually as just a random embarassment. Can't say your friendship will be the same, though, if you actually pleaded and begged her and she was still stubborn about it.

 

[risingfalls]

shut the hell up and butt out of my life

See, now say that, but to her.
I find that being blunt and candid works best.

Especially since she's being so insistent.
Explain why you don't like her playing matchmaker, just don't tell her to stop.

 

[Lycanthrope]

I find that being blunt and candid works best

QFT. trust me.

tell yoour friend you perfer to go out with guys on your choice. or however you feel.

 

[ViVi94]

The thing is, I've been TRYING to tell her bluntly. I've told her she was butting into my life and she needs to get the F*** out of it. But Nooooooo. Plus. I do kind of like him. But over all. It should be MY decision whether I talk to him or not. But I guess it's not anymore. So I've been avoiding her phone calls and everything. Oh, and she's taking it WAY too far now. She is actually black mailing me. She's going to tell everyone that I'm gay if I don't cooperate. P.S: I'm NOT gay! So yea.

Basically, she's turning into Kira from Death Note if you watched it. Starting out with good intentions and then it warped her so now she doesn't care if it's best for me anymore. She's just doing it because she doesn't want to lose to me!

 

[Nyangoro]

^As I said, sabotage can work wonders, lol! Anyway, if nothing else works, then there is one other thing you can do: Make the first move. You should just talk to the guy before she has the chance to get herself anymore involved. That way, you can be the one to make the decision to talk, you said you like him, right?

If you really don't want to do that, then you'd have to do something drastic to get the point across. Maybe even trying to set her up with someone to see how she feels about it. If that doesn't work, then . . . . sabotage, I guess.

 

[Danica Syer]

So have you talked with her about it and see what's with been going on? Because what your friend doing is WRONG. Have you even told her how you feel? Maybe you should show some examples of what she's doing--err....okay, sorry I don't mean do something but has she ever had a situation that you know off that she's got trapped in? Well try to point out how she would feel if she was trapped in that situation, if not, sorry. Let's see, what else? Well, how do I say it without giving out useless suggestions--and why should you worry about a friend who says all that bad stuff and is threatening to--if she's blackmailing you like that, what kind of friend is she? I don't want to say but maybe think about it carefully and try to talk to her and yeah, like the person above me has said, try to make the first move unless you have a bad feeling about that too or don't want to. I don't know what to say now, usually I do but my brain's not working at the moment. XD Sorry...I'll come back...later though to check. Maybe then I can help. Sorry if this wasn't helpful and was long.

 

[ViVi94]

All you're help was great. But it's not gonna work. It's not that she's a bad friend. She just gets it in her mind that interfering is the right thing to do and does whatever it takes to fix an imaginary problem. And theres no way I can talk to him... I'd look like a stalker -_- I'll call Caitlin now. (she can't three-way a boy when I'M the one who calls her. if she tries then I'll hang up.)

 

[Danica Syer]

All you're help was great. But it's not gonna work. It's not that she's a bad friend. She just gets it in her mind that interfering is the right thing to do and does whatever it takes to fix an imaginary problem. And theres no way I can talk to him... I'd look like a stalker -_- I'll call Caitlin now. (she can't three-way a boy when I'M the one who calls her. if she tries then I'll hang up.)

Do whatever you like. It's your life after all and we are just trying to help. Good luck by the way.

 

[ViVi94]

God. I'm talking to her now. She's asking me what I'm doing with the typing too. He messaged her back again. He said. "Oh! Amber? That girl that everyone at summer camp tried to hook me up with? How's she doing?" So yea. That's not all either... Caitlin opened her big mouth and said I liked him! GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! :_( SAVE ME!!!!

 

[big don mega]

well if you like him, then why don't you just go along with it. my friends suck at hooking me up with people, but i still let them do it. i'm going to eventually learn from my mistakes, but it's still pretty funny sometimes. the last person that one of my friends tried to hook me up with turned out to be a stalker, but she didn't like me. so she ended up stalkinng my friend who tried to hook us up. so basically what i'm saying is that it might turn out good and it might turn out bad, but if you do trust her than you should at least give him a chance

 

[ViVi94]

Yea, umm... I DON'T trust her though! She's annoying. She's actually making fun of how he looks! WTF?!

 

[big don mega]

in that case you should just talk to him and explain the situation of how she is annoying and is trying to hook you two up, then try to hook him up with her to show her how annoying she is

 

[revarai20]

Yeah, I agree. You should at least try and tell him the truth. The truth might help.
And sorry I can't be of a assistance. I've never really had a friend like that.

 

[ViVi94]

^ lucky! She actually asked on the phone. "Are you mad at me?" I'm thinking "WTF? Ya think?!" So yea. She's clueless. At least he didn't go "EWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Amber?!" *relief* I still have a horribly bad feeling though D:

 

[ViVi94]

I hate to double post but wow... just wow. NOW he messaged me asking how I was doing and if I "missed him" WTF was my friend saying to him?! D:

 

[violent_anger]

have you considered distracting your friend? you could do this multiple ways, such as convincing her that she's destroying her parents marriage. or get her hook on WoW. whatev.

 

[ViVi94]

have you considered distracting your friend? you could do this multiple ways, such as convincing her that she's destroying her parents marriage. or get her hook on WoW. whatev.

Umm.... yea. She already IS hooked on WoW, so that wont help

well, I suppose its too late anyway. He added me as a friend and we're talking. It feels like I lost though... this feeling sucks lol