Help/Support ► Understanding people?

[Mason Stark]

Mmkay, I need some help. Or some hugs. Whichever you prefer. It's not something that I'm crying over... often, but I would like some help on it. :\ And, no. I'm not depressed, emo, angsty, or want to hurt myself. I'm a kid who acts like a boy, wears all black all the time, watches Disney movies on a regular basis, and has lots and lots of plushies. ...Okay, glad we got that cleared up.

Since I was little, though I can't remember it too well, people have hated me. For... no good reason. In elementary school, in middle school, people have hated me for no good reason. I hang out with video game loving boys cause all the girls are preppy and look at me weird? Well, the boys hate me cause I have no friends and hang out with them. I'm talking to you? Oh, you have to hate me now. I'm walking around in a circle? You have to hate me right here and now. What have I ever done? Do I look weird, am I a nerd or a dork because I have a 4.0 GPA, does my breath smell funny, do I wear too much black yet love Disney and that's going to be a problem for you? Eh, I dunno.

My problem right now is not in real life. I don't go to public school. I'm homeschooled. It's, actually, online. On a certain section in a certain forum on a certain site... people hate me because I'm, obviously, a hyper, obnoxious little brat who doesn't deserve to be a mod. But, that's it: I obviously don't deserve to be a mod because I'm hyper and put my age at '6' and refuse to change it because it's unique and I don't want to grow up, yet I care more about that forum more than I can put into words. But, that's not the point.

Here's my problem: people hate me either being hyper or for making mistakes because I was new and hadn't had a big responsibility like this before when I first became mod, but most likely the former. I just want people to understand me a little bit before so I can help them out so that they can have fun. I can't do that without someone throwing out an opinion and everybody suddenly saying "ZOMG RENA YOU SUCK". So, how do I get people to understand me a bit better so I can help them... have fun? I would like them to understand me, a lot better than they do right now. They don't even know me, and they judge me by that little number that says '6' as my age; and, FYI... I won't be changing that number anytime soon. *likes the low age* :d

...Help? Please? I would REALLY like to end my weekly sessions of crying now. :\

 

[the Rainmaker]

Okay. I don't know how old you are. But this much I think I can say with a bit of authority on the subject. People want to be young, because to have youth is to have innocence. And to have innocence, means to have somewhat less suffering and pain than most others. This is why people love babies, little kids, etc.

You cannot be anybody but yourself. A lesson too many of us learn a bit too late is that you will NEVER be able to please the whole crowd. I know that sounds cliche. But you'd be surprised how much of your thoughts and actions are, on one level or another, trying to make yourself look good to someone. Abraham Lincoln is credited as saying, "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.". Wise words.

So, don't try to hide behind an age. It's only blinding yourself--not others. The biggest thing you should do is learn to be content and happy with yourself. I could be wrong, but you seem to be kinda insecure. Now, when I say that I'm not trying to bring you down!!! I'm saying, you don't trust yourself. You don't trust your limits. Learn to accept yourself--strengths, faults and all. When one learns to overcome fear of self, one learns how to really be happy. I quote Kristopher Roe: "If you are alive, then be truely alive." The one way to be truely alive is to be truely honest with yourself, and truely fearless with everything else.

When I say "Be fearless", I don't mean go plunging off a bridge in some daredevil stunt and break your neck in eighty-four places. There's a difference between not having fear and not having maturity. If you want people to "like" you, then you need to learn to be more comfortable with yourself. Once you do that, then you'll be a lot more willing to take the initiative in relationships.

You want people to like you? Here are some practical suggestions. First, GET TO UNDERSTAND OTHER PEOPLE. Become genuinely interested in others (as Dale Carnigie says). After you come to terms with yourself--whomever "yourself" really is--learn to see and accept the good and bad in others. Learn and come to understand them, Second, smile a lot. That sounds stupid, but think about it. Don't be all giggly-smiley, but be genuinely happy.

There is nothing wrong with the color black. There is nothing wrong with Disney (...other than the sexual innuendoes, but whatever...). There is nothing wrong with having a 4.0. And there is nothing wrong with being hyper. Perhaps there are some limits to set for yourself, because to everything there is a time and a season, but that doesn't mean that it's taboo to be hyper sometimes (or even all the time; I have a couple of friends who are like that). Anybody who judges you because of the number "6" is missing out...but that doesn't change the fact that you yourself are using that to hide--subconciously or not. You are the one who determines your life. Take the plunge and go for it.

...Okay, that was really long-winded. Hope that helped somewhat...

 

[Athletics Legend]

play sports..u gain respect

 

[snowdog]

^ That's your advice for everything >.>; Not everyone is into sports, y'know.

the Rainmaker gave some awesome advice there, not much else I can add!

But, from what I've seen of you here on the forums, I like you! Seriously, you even remind my of myself!

The point is, you should be proud of who you are. Remember that you can't be anyone but yourself, and if other people don't like that - it's THEIR problem.

<3

 

[Devious]

That's a lie sora... Sports aren't always the answer... I hate sports...

Well, pretty much the people you seem to encounter have a high expectation for you. As a mod it is expected for you to know everything there is to know about that particular section of the forums and that you should be able to govern it like a respectable adult. Of course, that is the stereotype nowadays. People on this forum (I'm not going to sugar coat it) have pretty much become slightly stuck up in your section. I'm only saying this because I've been around since Deven's reign and I've seen RP'ers come and go. I was actually surprised to see the big egos that have sprouted. I won't name names at all, but I'd like to say this to you Rena.

You're a fun mod, you like to have fun, and you like to let others have a good time. Others on the RP section only disrespect you because they seem to want your position. They think they can do a better job and still allow others to have fun. But the truth is, if they were to actually run the RP section, you can imagine the strict grammar rules, RP's closing randomly because of grammar issues, short posts. Pretty much the RP section would go to hell.

You have to think about what those people will do if they do in fact get your job. You have the responsibility, you monitor what you are supposed to monitor and deliver punishment where it is due. That is all your job is, moderate the RP to the extent that meets the KHI codes of conduct.

Don't worry so much, mkay? My advice focuses mainly on the aspect of you being a mod, mix it with Rainmakers and decifer it as you please enjoy

 

[Katattack]

Rena! You know that the Muffin Soldiers are always here for you! Me, Pickle, GoH, Kaze_Krazy, Sterling_Silver, C_U, and... whatever Noelle's username is now... I think it's Clamwhisperer... xD

We're always here for you!

Frankly I don't know how anyone can bear to not know you, Rena, you always manage to cheer me up if I'm upset. xD And you being a 6 year old is just plain awesome.

I hope you don't ever feel like you're alone, Rena! We're here for you! D=>

I hope we're enough... but if we're not... I'm sure many other people like you too, Rena! I don't understand how they couldn't. =/ If they don't, they're probably just n00bs.

 

[Lord of Chaos]

Oh boy...

I didn't realize this all had this kind of effect on you Rena. I know I'm not the entire cause of your thread, but I do remember something a little while back... Yeah, that didn't go so well on either side. We both lost respect on that one.

That shit aside, I'll try and help you the best I possibly can.

Since I was little, though I can't remember it too well, people have hated me. For... no good reason. In elementary school, in middle school, people have hated me for no good reason. I hang out with video game loving boys cause all the girls are preppy and look at me weird? Well, the boys hate me cause I have no friends and hang out with them. I'm talking to you? Oh, you have to hate me now. I'm walking around in a circle? You have to hate me right here and now. What have I ever done? Do I look weird, am I a nerd or a dork because I have a 4.0 GPA, does my breath smell funny, do I wear too much black yet love Disney and that's going to be a problem for you? Eh, I dunno.

Look, elementary and middle school... kids are shallow. Let's face it, they may be naive and able to see true beauty and all that bullshit, but for the most part, they're shallow and discovering themselves... be glad you got into homeschooling dear. A 4.0 GPA is a wonderful thing to have, and if anything, you should brag about it, and rub it in their faces. They don't like you anyway, so why not? Yeah, it's not the "mature" thing to do, but if it comes to fighting fire with fire... so be it. Dressing in black isn't a problem either. I've been goth since I was seven (not saying you're goth by the way) and I'm effin' proud of that fact. You know what it does? It keeps the shallow people away, and the good people, the ones willing to look past the... look, they'll come to you if you're truly a good person.

My problem right now is not in real life. I don't go to public school. I'm homeschooled. It's, actually, online. On a certain section in a certain forum on a certain site... people hate me because I'm, obviously, a hyper, obnoxious little brat who doesn't deserve to be a mod. But, that's it: I obviously don't deserve to be a mod because I'm hyper and put my age at '6' and refuse to change it because it's unique and I don't want to grow up, yet I care more about that forum more than I can put into words. But, that's not the point.

Here's my problem: people hate me either being hyper or for making mistakes because I was new and hadn't had a big responsibility like this before when I first became mod, but most likely the former. I just want people to understand me a little bit before so I can help them out so that they can have fun. I can't do that without someone throwing out an opinion and everybody suddenly saying "ZOMG RENA YOU SUCK". So, how do I get people to understand me a bit better so I can help them... have fun? I would like them to understand me, a lot better than they do right now. They don't even know me, and they judge me by that little number that says '6' as my age; and, FYI... I won't be changing that number anytime soon. *likes the low age* :d

So we address the real issue. The monster rears its ugly head eh? Well, I can't speak for everyone Rena, but you know what most peoples' issue is? The fact that you're this young kid who hasn't even been on these forums as long as some people have and that you got Modship. I won't name any names, but I can guarantee I was a little mad when I found out you got it. Which is probably why I'll never become one, even with all I do for the Role-Playing section and what not.

At any rate, it makes people hostile to see such a young girl modding the RP section when all these "veterans" feel like their egos are being stepped upon. I won't name any names, but I was in chat with a few people, and they said that it made them feel like they were almost being harassed...

Which makes it someone else's fault, not yours hun. You're doing a fine job with what you've been given and what you had to work with. Morpheaus tried and actually pulled things out of the shit-hole, but things haven't seen such a drastic change until you've came aboard. The place is organized, and you're doing the best you can Rena. That takes the blame off you. If you do your best, and you know you're doing it, then there's nothing more or nothing else you can do or say.

If people have a problem with that, they can come discuss it with me, and I guarantee I won't be nice about it.

You just keep doing what you've been doing, and ignore those ill-seeded comments. If those people TRULY did not like the circumstances, they would leave. There are other RPing communities out there for them to go to and play. This one is your domain, and even though you shouldn't let it all go to your head (and you've been doing a decent job, so no worries) it's what you say that goes. Now, I can't personally speak for the other Fan Corner Sections... but I rest my case with that. So in the end Rena:

Just don't give a feck.

No matter what you do, some people aren't going to like you, so just deal with the ones that do, and make them happy.

You are a friend Rena, and I wish to keep it this way. So please... don't cry anymore, okay? If someone makes you cry, tell me, give me their messenger name or whatever... I'll have a talk with them.

Your friend,
LoC

 

[Raynie]

Well, LoC said it all and can't add much to it, Rena-chan~

But you know what I always say, "If any idiotic bashing comes your way, say Raynie will come and stuff a Twinkie down their throat.". That doesn't exactly help... <__< But, point is this... Yas know choor internet-mommeh ( Me 8D ) shall always be there for you.

So, you know you have unlimited ranting priviligies with me, ne? Just making sure. Anyway, think of this as a stepping stone for you, don't ever.... EVER, or I'll steal Sora from you D:< , let anyone try and change who you are. Without your hyperness this forum would be dull, seriously. D: To tell you the truth, when I first heard you were assigned as Mod I was oddly shocked and going "OMG. DD8;".

But you've proved me wrong instantly. You've done a wonderful job dispite what the jerks around here think. You've held on and you keep going in trying to help the forum out, even when there's a bunch of ego-tastic arses around. To sum it up in one word... GANBATTE! 8D *huggles*

--HeartlessWhisper O:

 

[Savior of Dawn]

I would write much more.. but I'm tired. -_-

Individuality is ridiculed, mocked, harassed, attacked, and ignored when it comes to education under college. This is what it's been since people have been idiots. Yes, that long. <.<

Well, you're homeschooled so there's little issue left with direct involvement, but you have to embrace your individuality and (If you're the social type) attempt to bring in others who will accept you, or are like you.

As for the problem... Be aggressive? The best I can say (besides the above) is to defend yourself, there isn't much else you can do.


By the way, you're lucky. I want homeschooling! D :

 

[Zaraki]

play sports..u gain respect

not true if you suck at that sport you lose respect >.> i ve seen it happen many a time

 

[Mason Stark]

...People need hugs. NOW. D:< *huggles every person that gave -good- advice* X3 THANK YOU THANK YOU DOMO ARIGATO GOZAIMASU ETC. xD;; Rainmaker, TD, and LoC need glomps, though, for making long posts with lots and lots and LOOOOOOTS of advice. *GLOMP* xD;

So... people hate me cause I got the job that they *apparently* deserved and I don't deserve, even though I've made mistakes, learned from them, and figured out what's the right thing to do and what's the wrong thing to do? *coughhack* So, they're jealous? .__.;; Well, I guess I'm not an obnoxious brat to them... [Okay, maybe I am. But, that's just me putting myself down again. I seriously need to fix that...] And, speaking of people that apparently deserved this job more than I did, I actually did to the literacy-only thing on the forum and it backfired SO FREAKIN' MUCH. People left, people were annoyed, and threads were closed left and right. It SUCKED. I should know; I was naive enough to do that, but smart enough to fix it~ ...Okay, Morph needs a hug now. *random* Arigato, Morph-sannnnnn. D: *runs to find him*

Now, I gotta ask a really random question, that revolves around this sort of stuff but I'm afraid to ask these two, personally. 8D;; Does anyone know why Silh and TMM hate me so much? It actually seems like they find whatever thread I say something in and punch me in the face for absolutely no apparent reason. I've never done anything to them, yet they want to bash me with whatever weapons they have. So, just checking: are Silh and TMM both jerks? They might not be to other people, but it sucks that I'm hated so damn much by just about everyone and they want to add so much more to that. .__.;;

Oh. And I'll say it again: THANK YOU SO DAMN MUCH FOR THE ADVICE. *huggle*

And, for the record just so everyone knows: I'm 15 and I hate it a lot. I'd much rather be 13 which, oddly enough, is how old I was when I jumped into the RP section. xD;; WHEEEEE ALMOST 3 YEARS OF ROLEPLAYS~ 8D

 

[Lord of Chaos]

I wouldn't worry about it. TMM and Silh are just two members on these forums. They both can be assholes respectively, but personally they've never been rude to me. Then again, you all are pragmatically different. That may have something to do with it.

I could be wrong though. I would just ignore them all Rena.

 

[.:{S u t e k i~M i d o r i}:.]

Aww i wanna give advice too!!

Dont worry about what they say, it may hurt sometimes, but knowing it, they really might not mean it. Or they're probably jealous. Either way, you dont have to be put down just because of they're comments. I mean, take my friend for example, She was in the chat [and so was i] and she was hyper and all, and TMM happened to be there, and said that she was loaded and hyped up on crack. He also said to my other friend who was there something else, but thats not the point. Some kids when they're young, tend to be mean, and crude, and pretty much out of it. Your different, and your lucky, and you are unique. Kids are kids, and some of them can say really harmful things, but others are here to help you out Rena. And don't worry about Silh and TMM, they're just them, they can be intelligently insulting in some way, but they don't mean it. They are just them, and you are you.

If they say something offensive, then just ignore them, and blow them off for awhile. Some people are different in what they say, and how they mean it. But don't forget that, just cause they're saying it, doesn't mean you have to put up with it ok? Just walk away, and ignoring them is the best thing.

Kids = Crude and somehow insulting
Silh & TMM = They're not particularly jerks, they're just joking im sure. And ofcourse they can be insulting in an intelligent way....somehow.

I hope you feel better Rena!! =3
*Huggles* and here's a cookie!! *Gives cookie*
Hope you feel better!! And dont let them get you down!!

 

[Endgame]

As I've said before, Rena. People do not hate you. They hate you as a moderator. In most cases, they feel jealous, or 'wronged' perhaps.

You've got some real self esteem issues. That, or you've suddenly become and attention whore. But yeah, issues like that, you can't magically give yourself self esteem. You can try, and you can pretend, but in the end, a success, especially one not AIMED at confidence building, is that only thing that'll help 'ya there.

Personally, I was hated...and I mean, literally, hated, until about halfway through the eleventh grade, when people started to grow up a bit. I had to move schools six times amidst it. Even once they stopped bullying me, I was stuck in that mindset. Fortunatly, once I left school, I discovered I had good friends, and they had good friends, and so I started getting out a bit more. Now...let's just say I'm in a far better state then before.

'Scuse the self-spiel, just thought it'd offer some insight that you're far from the only one who dosn't agree with school. As a 1/3rd of a teacher (1 year outta 3 in mah degree ^.^) I know that school is a very brutal place to some. It's a forced sociality for those who don't enjoy sociality at that time. It's very heavy on sporting and the like, whilst many other talents go unnoticed. And it's a cesspool of harrassment. So much as it's flawed, a leftover of the industriual age, the system isn't going to change anytime soon. Those in government can't see beyond the ideals we've all grown up in.

So if the system won't change, and the people around you won't change, that means there's only one thing that will. I'm sorry to say it, but you're going to have to be the one that changes if you want to be accepted. Not drastically, even a slight indication that you're like them will placate the majority of these cliches.

Look, elementary and middle school... kids are shallow.

Shallow? No. Immature.

As for people hating you on KHI, Rena, well, try to make your actuions as a mod more public. So things that'll be in the public eye. Organise more events and the like. If people can see you're trying hard to do your job, they'll probably back off, a little, at least.

 

[Henskie]

Well I never really had any friends throughout most of my elementary school years because well I was smart and I made the kids around me feel stupid because I knew all the answers to the questions. I suffered through elementary school and at about 5th grade I started hanging out with some kids more like me and things got better and even in college I have a small group of friends. So what I am trying to get at is that you need to suffer through a lot of people no liking u and believe me you will find people that like you for you. The worst advice someone could give you is to change who you are so dont change unless you really want to

 

[Dogenzaka]

I really think people who harass you for being a mod need to STFU.
It's none of their damn business, and the admins made a great decision in making you a mod. You're helpful, and very nice, and you make people feel welcome, and especially excited for KH games.

Plus, you mod the Fan section. Those sections tend to stay orderly. There's not much to do. Just because you don't close and delete threads every minute doesn't mean you're not doing your job. People should be congratulating you. If there's a lack of chaos in the section for you to discipline, that obviously shows you're doing your job well.

 

[Tyler Durden]

Yeah, replied twice, advice was deleted twice.

SCREW YOU

if you are going to delete my posts in this thread then I won't even begin to help you.

 

[kairigirl]

^dark hero Riku.

I don't mean to be rude, but according to the log, there is no record of you having posted in here. Perhaps it was your computer? Rena doesn't even work in this area of the forums. Unless you're talking about a different thread, then I'm a little confused. Maybe your computer was having a few posting problems. As of right now though, I don't see anything. If you still wish to continue this discussion, PM me. No need to waste Rena's time and other member's time with the wrong discussion. o-o

Anyways, Rena, already helped you out by AIM. You're doing fine.

 

[Iwrestledabearonce]

Well, Rena, first off, you're a wonderful friend. ^^

Secondly, I was rather surprised when you were elected Moderator of the RP Section, and Fan Section in General. I was like "What the hell? Who is this person? There must be one hundred people out there better than her. She's immature and hyper."

Guess what? You proved me wrong. I was completely, totally, one hundred and eighty degrees wrong about 'ya. You have proved time and time again, your youthful spirit and willingness to do most anything for the RP Section is one of the greatest things to ever happen to the section (In my short, but growing experience as a Role-Player).

I know plenty of people whom think they deserve your position, but I'd say it's just fine with you as a Mod. Again, back to your willingness and youthfulness. And you make some pretty good KH Role-Plays.

And about you in real life; don't worry. I'm thirteen myself, and I honestly don't have too, too many friends. I moved in the summer, and since have also moved to Middle School from Elementary School. It's a very different environment, and I'm currently dealing with things. I keep friends from my old area, and try making new ones where I'm at.

And about your choice of wearing black, acting like a boy, and liking Disney? Cool. I dress in dark(er) colours, act like a boy (Well, no duh. . . I am one. *_*), and very much enjoy the older Disney films. Lion King is just plain awesome.

Ahem, back to my. . . helping the situation? Sure, I'll call it that.

If you're really trying to connect with people on the Fourm, this is all I can really say; More Events! That event about searching for a particular post was a great idea, but I don't remember it getting off the ground. . . did it? I'm sorry, I don't recall if it did.

But anyways, do something like that! Maybe a "Who Can Post The Most In A Month", or something like that! And try to make less KH-Related stuff; I'm not saying drop the KH stuff (I know you loooooooooove it), I'm just saying try branching out into the unknown! It could do you good.

And in real life. . . don't try to impress people. As LoC stated, if people can't look past your image and see who you are, don't bother with 'em. Probably not worth botherin' with in the first place.


Hope this helps. ^^

 

[Joy]

I never understood why certain members here went against you so harshly. I have only recently gone into that section of the forums, so I might not understood the situation fully. But, from what I've seen, you've done well for the forums, and yeah, you might have messed up, but everyone messes up, ya? From who I've talked to, it seems like they just need somebody to blame. Otherwise, they cannot take out their frustration. They know that you didn't mean to do anything wrong, but don't want to show it. I would say more, but I think I've gone far enough.

Now, when it comes to people in real life, it seems the kids just decided that since you do things that are different, that you're an outsider. And when you've been set outside, these assumptions are made. This is the mindset of young, immature kids. I am in no way saying something is wrong with wearing black, and watching Disney movies. I'll admit I do that quite often, but even sometimes do other things that most kids would find "gay" or "stupid". You know what I say to them?

Screw you, at least I have the maturity to admit I sing to Shania Twane when no one is around. <.<

I mean, it might not be right for you, but it works for me.

You know, LoC said something that caught my attention. He said that he wears black all the time, and it draws the good people in and weeds out the shallow people. It's absolutely true. Again, it might not happen yet, but as kids grow, so do their maturity (hopefully). So its more of a waiting game then anything. You have to wait for the kids to mature and realize that your actions do not make you an outcast.

I hope what I said helps. If it made no sense at all, forgive me. Typing at 1 in the morning giving advice might not be such a good idea XD