U.S girl forced into Pakistan marriage?

[Fire's fan]

Police Investigate California Girl's Claim She Was Forced Into Arranged Marriage in Pakistan - FoxNews.com

I would do the same thing if my parents thought they could do that to me.

 

[Fire's fan]

the news is nice is all but the rate at which you make threads is quite alarming

I know, I feel eratic tonight,
I promise I won't make more until tommarrow....unless I find other even more important news.

 

[Chrono Mizaki]

That's news?

Fucking hell, fire's fan, this is as common as your average takeaway in England. The only difference is that the woman spoken out against it. Few speak out against pakistani marraiges. Others just live with it. Very few get killed in the name of honour, because she has brought shame.

Heck, I'm definitely sure a few of my cousins from the Dad side of the family had an arranged marriage. They certainly didn't have a choice who to marry... and they are pretty much cousins. Pretty much, it is no fucking different. It's actually common that it's scary.

 

[alex=axel]

Goddam, why would parents do that to a 13 yr old seriously. Atleast not all of her family decided to send to pakistan, which is good.

Also, to the person above, if your part of the religion that supports arranged marriages then okay, but if not, what are you smoking? People dont just live with it if they get forced to get married, they speak out unless its their actual religion, which in the case of the news story, she wasn't.

EDIT: I dont follow FOX, and i havent seen much of this kind of thing on news that i listen to (what little i do listen to, so i admit i might not hear about it as much as other people)

 

[Fire's fan]

I don't follow with news much either, I just felt like it tonight, today was the deadline for the U.S. budget, I was trying to figure out what happened so I went to Fox online and found all these stories.
This one interested me because I remember it being metioned on the news, but they hadn't relesed details. It made it sound like her uncle kiddnapped her against her will, after sexually herrassing her on the internet....Like I said they didn't make it clear.
I found it shocking because this is america, we don't marry 13 year olds off in forced mariages.

 

[alex=axel]

I didn't catch the part where they thought the uncle was sexually harassing her, man, which is the right story then lol

Uncle raping niece = WTF not cool.
but if the uncle meant good then i stand with what i said above

 

[Solar]

...what does religion have to do with any thing?

Arranged marriage is cultural thing that's much more common than you think, especially in Asia which is a huge chunk of the religion. When the vast majority to an entire nation lives in poverty and are illiterate, I try not to judge, but the hell is this? This is a confusing story.

 

[LongLiveLife]

As ★ has said, arranged marriage is still the norm in many rural parts of Asia; my friend's former domestic worker left mid-contract because her parents had arranged her marriage to her uncle back in India.

 

[Alaude Drenxta]

This would likely come as a shock to most Americans, it isn't as common as you would think around here, given the independent mindset of the citizens in general, and the fact that we are so far away from much of the rest of the world.

 

[Solar]

I'm loling at some of the comments though

Yes, our Western culture of date rape, teen pregnancies, complete melodrama, substance abuse, and waaaay underage pre-maritial sex is so much better.

In some ways, it might be, at least nothing is forced (for a good chunk at least) but we are not that clean ourselves.

You know, I'm Pakastani, and I don't think there have been any forced arranged marriages in my family. At least, not my immediate family or immediate extended family. I'm so glad my parents didn't get an arranged marriage 8D.

Though they tend to be more successful than teh marriages here.

 

[LongLiveLife]

I was shocked, too, when I first heard it -- more because of the incest than the arranged marriage, but still.

Though they tend to be more successful than teh marriages here.

They have lower divorce rates, no doubt, but possibly more because of the concept of shame involved in these cultures -- they do not want to bring shame on to their families and so put up with whatever adversities and trials they face in marriage to spare reputation. It does not necessarily mean their marriages are more or less content than the marriages in the West (which I assume is the better indicator of marital success). The Western culture revolves more around individualism, and honestly, I'll take my freedom of speech, choice and the rest of it over rampant authoritarianism any day.

 

[Alaude Drenxta]

Yes, our Western culture of date rape, teen pregnancies, complete melodrama, substance abuse, and waaaay underage pre-maritial sex is so much better.

Far as I recall, underage sex (though, strangely not pre-marital) and rape are pretty global, especially in smaller, less wealthy countries.

Though they tend to be more successful than teh marriages here.

Yea, but Americans aren't very willing to work with other people to solve a problem, selfishness is definitely one of our traits.

 

[Solar]

From what I've seen, the marriages are based more on compatibility and respect instead of love clouding your rationality. You mostly grow to care about your partner than love them in a romantic sense (thought my inner idealist rebels against the idea).

The arranged marriages I grew up to understood were among the upperclass and educated, so they are actually a lot looser (well, if the family is liberal which education should make you). Arranged marriages as I understood them went like this: your close friends and family find someone who they think is your type and based on their description you decide whether you want to arrange a date or not. Provided you do and see a potential partner, have chemistry, whatever, you decide to continue meeting each other and if feelings develop, you court each other until you are ready for the engagement.

Far as I recall, underage sex (though, strangely not pre-marital) and rape are pretty global, especially in smaller, less wealthy countries

Exactly, we are not that much superior as we make ourselves out to be.

 

[LongLiveLife]

Arranged marriages as I understood them went like this: your close friends and family find someone who they think is your type and based on their description you decide whether you want to arrange a date or not. Provided you do and see a potential partner, have chemistry, whatever, you decide to continue meeting each other and if feelings develop, you court each other until you are ready for the engagement.

Ah, then before, our interpretations diverged. From what I've heard of them, arrange marriages bypassed choice in its entirety. If arranged marriages worked like this, then, really, it's the same as unarranged marriages, only with the addition of your family's stamp of pre-approval, which is always good.

Are you prohibited from dating anyone they have not preselected?

 

[Alaude Drenxta]

That sounds less like the idea of an arranged marriage that we are shown. I always assumed they were forced, the family chooses the suitor and you marry him/her, regardless of personal decision.

If that's how it works, it sounds more like a match-making service. XD

 

[Solar]

No, but the you still obviously have to introduce them and tell your parents you've found someone you're interested in. And although it is ultimately your choice, unless you want an issue, they have to have your parent's approval.

 

[Alaude Drenxta]

Well, that's generally how marriages work here, too, or at least it's tradition. I asked my wife's father for permission to marry her. Would we have done it anyway if he said no? Maybe, not sure, I paid for the ceremony so he was really just a guest and attendee, but I'd still like to think we would respect their thoughts on the subject. What I don't see is how that would make the marriage any stronger.

Divorce in America is commonplace, but I can only assume from what I know of Pakistani culture that they aren't so supportive of the idea, which would tend to force people to work out their problems and compromise instead of being stubborn and selfish. Although, believe it or not, there are still very many even in America that do not believe in divorce, and feel that any problem can be solved within the marriage. Personally, I could name a few things that would convince me divorce would be necessary, such as physical abuse and emotional damage, but for the most part I think that two reasonable people can solve a problem with little issue.

 

[LongLiveLife]

Divorce in America is commonplace, but I can only assume from what I know of Pakistani culture that they aren't so supportive of the idea, which would tend to force people to work out their problems and compromise instead of being stubborn and selfish. Although, believe it or not, there are still very many even in America that do not believe in divorce, and feel that any problem can be solved within the marriage. Personally, I could name a few things that would convince me divorce would be necessary, such as physical abuse and emotional damage, but for the most part I think that two reasonable people can solve a problem with little issue.

I agree entirely with you. People should be offered the option of divorce, but (and here's the overzealous, optimistic catch) they should have the maturity to work through their problems first before jumping straight to it. When it comes to a point that the marriage has broken down to an unsalvageable state, forcing both parties to remain together, in perpetual hostility, at the expense of their mental health and emotional well-being, is inhumane.

 

[Alaude Drenxta]

I agree entirely with you. People should be offered the option of divorce, but (and here's the overzealous, optimistic catch) they should have the maturity to work through their problems first before jumping straight to it. When it comes to a point that the marriage has broken down to an unsalvageable state, forcing both parties to remain together, in perpetual hostility, at the expense of their mental health and emotional well-being, is inhumane.

Well, they say divorce destroys the sanctity and meaning of marriage. Why promise to spend your life with someone, yet keep the option of going back on it whenever you like. Personally, I think both the marriage and divorce processes should be made much more difficult and complex. Should ensure people are more certain when they try to enact either. As it is, getting married is extremely easy, and getting divorced isn't really that tough.

 

[Alaude Drenxta]

People aren't rich these days or are never satisfied/content with the amount of money they have. looking at it, most divorces stem from the problem that the couple can't support them selves financially like they used or maybe it's just most couples around me can't. but this is just one major reason

That sounds a bit nonsensical to me, you'd think people would be able to support themselves better as a group than an individual, which is why some people get roommates.