Things I've been wanting to say. Hiatus needed.



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astral_key

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Hey everyone, so I know that you all haven't heard from me in awhile. For the longest time, I've actually went back to lurking here in the forums even though I joined it.

Now to get straight to what I've been up to. So my birthday has recently passed of course around December. I turned 23. I got very interesting gifts from family / relatives and I can finally say that with the help of my parents, I have accomplished the dream that I've been wanting to come true for so long. I got a PS4 Pro (Star Wars Edition)! And along with that, I have games such KH 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue, FFXV, Star Wars : Battlefront II - Limited Stormtrooper Edition, Uncharted 4 : A Thief's End, and the KH 1.5 + 2.5 HD Collection. I'm definitely enjoying KH 2.8, and Uncharted 4 by most. Started to go back and play KH 1 FM too, re-learning everything that I thought I knew about it. And I'm in the middle of trying to get the objectives done in BBS 0.2. To summarize it all up to make it short, all of these games look really good on the TV, and it's been an experience so far.

Now another thing that I've been wanting to say. I think at this point in time, I'm in need of a long and dire break from all platforms of social media and that includes the forums itself, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Discord, Tumblr, Snapchat and even Skype. All of these different platforms that I've mentioned have been all taking a huge and insufficient jab at my mental health, and it's only gotten worse since yesterday. I've had a lot of depressive episodes recently and depression itself only took a turn for the worst for me around last year. I only now realized and it took a really long time, but I started to set my standards very low and I've let people in easily, and I started to realize that the only thing people (by most) are really good at are doing + saying things intentionally to make me or perhaps to others, make others and me feel bad despite of how genuine and understanding I can be, and I'm speaking out for other people as well. Maybe I give people too many chances and the benefit of the doubt, but now I'm working slowly on trying to change that and set myself boundaries, while still also giving people a chance since I still love blindly and trust freely. It's just that this time, in 2018 I don't wanna become to easy to fool or be taken advantage of anymore haha. I also had my fair share of experiences of that in real life matters.

So to repeat what I've said, yes a long break is what I need and in fact a break from interacting with people, ever. This doesn't mean I'm isolating myself completely from other people and from the world, I just simply need a lot of time for recovery and maybe just try to put myself out there more so that I'll be able to find the right people who will offer me the love that I'm looking for, maybe it comes by when I least expect it, who knows, but what matters now is that this is something I need to work on. Even in the real world, from knowing I will probably experience the same people over again but it's better to keep trying I guess in hope that one day / sooner or later that there is always a light to look towards.

And happy belated new year to anyone out there who celebrated it too. KH III is almost upon us.

To end this off, I'm gonna go, log out, and enjoy more of Uncharted 4 for it's replay value. Haha. My sister got it for me as a Christmas present.

And yeah so, I'm out.
 
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Noir

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Yeah, you do let people in too easily. I completely agree.
In all honesty, I feel you were a bit too eager to look for that 'love' here. You messaged me before saying how you wanted someone to understand the problems you were going though, and I did listen. We spoke until you realised I was a guy, then we never spoke again because you said you only wanted to talk to girls because you were 'straight'. I'd just like to say that I feel maybe that isn't the best way of handling things when you're going through depression. I'd also like to add that a lot of the members here aren't fully trained for this stuff, so I hope maybe you consider some sort of professional to help you overcome this instead. Still, you're taking steps to overcome this, so I can only hope this leads you further down the path of improved mental health, because that's extremely important.
So yeah, best of luck. Hope things work out for you.
 
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