The saying game

[Light121]

Well, here is how it works. you post anything you have ever heard, said, or done that is funny. it can be a saying, a joke, anything. there will be prize money to the best ones. You have to rate the person who poseted above you, then you can say your own, if you don't rate the person above you, yourrs dosn't count, scale of 1-10. the ways you can win are,

Most Random,
Best Saying,
Best Joke,
Best "Dirty joke" (basicly something having to do with porn),
funniest,
and overall best score.

i will start.

"Hate is a special kind of love, we give to people who suck".

 

[Monkey]

7/10 it only made me crack a smile

time for some bush quotes!:

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."


"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

 

[Light121]

8.5/10, i love bush quotes.

okay, here is what my friend screamed once....


"WHERE'S MY SAUSAGE!!!!!"

sounds really wrong if you think about it.

 

[Monkey]

8/10 monkey think dirty

"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
Edgar Wallace.

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
Yogi Berra.

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."
Joe Louis.

"It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."
Charles Pierce.

"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."
Steve Martin.

"The trouble with children is that they're not returnable."
Quentin Crisp.

 

[The Green Bomber]

Heres a joke.This is what the train said when he was going out form the station.
"I think i can!,I think I can,I think I can.Wooooooooooooooo!"
Think about that joke and you see what i mean lol.

 

[Terrell Taylor]

8/10
made me laght

one time me and my friend were at gym and he told one of our team mate to tie their shoes and we were playing basketball he jumped off the other person back and dunked the ball after he hit he fell head frist

 

[Fireheart]

8.5/10
That was funny.

A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women."
"Yeah what happened?" asked his friend.
The first guy replies, "Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."

 

[kairigirl]

Meh, 7/10. Now this will make y'all laugh...

Alright, there's a doctor who's married, okay? And he's cheating on her. The woman he's cheating with gets pregnant. Now, this doctor doesn't want his wife to find out...so he tells the pregnant lady this. "Go to Italy and have the baby there. I'll pay for the expenses and everything. When you have the baby send me a postcard saying 'spaghetti' on it. I'll know what it means."

So she goes to Italy. Six months later he gets a call from his wife. She tells him that there's a postcard from some strange person at home for him. He tells his secretary he's taking the day off and rushes home. He gets there, reads the postcard, and has a heart attack. Later, at the hospital, the doctors ask his wife what happened to make him have a heart attack. She shows him the postcard and this is what it said. "Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Two with meatballs and two without."

Alright...think a little outside the box. First of all, I don't say it explicity out loud. It's just...different. I heard this from a friend and she got it and others off the internet. It's a funny one.

 

[Archfire43]

9/10 Lol that was good.

"Hit a miget and golden coins will fly out of their ass."

"An Athesist's hell, is going to heaven."

"People think video games are the reason for violence. Wtf are they thinking? Are the video games giving satanic mseeages to them?

*uses a evil voice* 'Kill kill, mascure destruction, cut, cut!'

*childs voice* 'Satian, satian is that you?'

*Mario voice* 'No it's a me, Mario!'

If that was the case we'd be seeing kids jumping on other kids heads trying to get a coin to pop out of their ass!"

Hope these are good.

 

[Light121]

7/10,

Okay, here is a joke, as told by a 13 year old friend.

"When i used to go to weddings, all the old folk would poke me in the ribs and say, 'you're next', they quit that crap when i started doing it to them at ffunerals"

 

[Fireheart]

8.5/10 quite good.

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for
a great price, but its missing a seal, so whenever it rains he
has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her
parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is
outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner
tonight, don't say a word," She tells him," Our family had a
fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since,
but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."

Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it.
Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is
saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs
his girlfriend throws her on the table and drills her in front
of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is
obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down,
but no one says a word.

A few minutes later he grabs her mom throws her on the table and
does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her
dad is boiling, and her mother a little happier. But still there
is complete silence at the table.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts
to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs
his jar of Vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's
father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH
ALREADY. I'LL DO THE F***ING DISHES!!"

 

[Riku#1hottie]

OMG...LMAO!!! 9/10!!!

Uuuh...here's a Napoleon quote..xD...

Kid on bus: What are you gunna do today Napoleon?
Napoleon: What're I feel like a want to do, gosh!


...Haha..yah I know not that funny...bleh. ._.

 

[Fireheart]

7/10 cause i didnt really understand it


Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad
says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the
breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is
the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the
Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call
you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class.
Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about
this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has
said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and
runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled.
So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees
his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to
bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I
think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the
Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are
being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

 

[Light121]

9/10, very good, i love it.


okay, here is some quotes

"fat people are harder to kiddnap"

"Never put of till tommorow, anything, you can ignore altogether"

"Eat well, stay fit, die anyways"