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Fanfiction ► The Return of Axel



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Raz

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Ew, gross! Axel!!! :mad:


ANEEWAYZ, he's really OC. Doesn't sound like him... at all.

Plus, why make Larxy and Zexy villains? Now they will inevitably die... again. And what about Demyx!!!??? We need more DeMyX!!! Well, I do... >>;
 

Livi

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don't worry .:Raz:. gosh i plan to put demyx in there later and i might swich things around with the organization this is my first fic i'm new at this stuff! organization 13 sounds cooler or maybe i'll just call it the organization and axel is nicer because he has a heart now i'm still gonna put his sarcasm and stuff in there wait, no offence but if u hate axel then why r u reading this?
 

Raz

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... I don't know. I thought it would be angsty... o.o'


Yesh, go with the sarcasm.
 

Livi

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Okay well here's the next chappie so yeah

Chapter 5

BOOM

Axel was suddenly thrown out of his bed and was lying in a heap on the floor while the ship was shaking violently. He shakily got up, holding the wall for support. “What a wake up call,” he yawned.

*EXPLOSION*

Axel was thrown across the room, hitting the wall and slumping down onto the floor. “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DOWN THERE!!”

“We’re being attacked!!”Sora yelled from the front of the ship.

“Perfect,” he groaned.

Then, out of nowhere, a portal appeared with dusks hanging out of it. Without time to summon his chakrams, they grabbed Axel and threw him into the portal. Again he felt like being shot out of a cannon, only this time he was spinning in circles in complete darkness..

************************************************************

Axel was suddenly spit out onto the cold ground, while his head was spinning from the portal express. He looked up to see Larxene smirking at him with an amused expression on her cute, evil little face.

“Well, well, well, look what the dusks brought in,” she snickered.

“Oh god, not you too!” moaned Axel.

“Afraid so, but not only me, the rest of the organization as well!”she said with triumph. “But this time, we’re here for revenge, not just Sora, but you as well!”

“Why me?”

“Psh, like you don’t know you traitor!” she yelled then took out her kunai.

“Fine! I’ll take you all out, and this time DON’T COME BACK!” he shouted as he slashed at her with his chakrams.

“Ha, I’d like to see you try!” she laughed as she sent thunder spells at him.

He created a fire wall so she couldn’t get to him, but saw her flip over and threw three of her kunai at him. He dodged two of them, but got hit in the arm by one of them and as payback, teleported behind her and shot a wave of flames. But to his surprise, she smiled evilly and laughed.

“What is so funny?” he protested.

“Let’s just say we have all the data we need, and you won’t be escaping us!” then disappeared

“Aw, don’t tell me Vexen is making another experiment!!” he shouted, but no answer.

He looked for a door, then walked out, fuming and saw that he was in Twilight Town outside the old mansion. “Now to look for Sora..” he thought, then walked into the woods.

COMMENT!!!
 

.:Mega:.

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Gah, I shoulda commented earlier. Anyway, the plot's going pretty good. One question, though, what happened to Roxas? o_O I think he was in the earlier chapters...
 

I

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! c'est très, très bon! j'tadore! *was driven to french insanity by the goodness of this fic* i love you. update soon! *glomps*

wait... even i dun update my fic that often... its liek fic-writing on hastega!

it is just a little tiny bit OC, but its good. just try to make the chappies lots longer
 

I

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its very good fic, either way. i bet that once you get better, ur fic might be even better than mines *is still happy about compliment*
 

Genocide

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Plus, why make Larxy and Zexy villains? Now they will inevitably die... again. And what about Demyx!!!??? We need more DeMyX!!! Well, I do... >>;

Why not make Zexy, Lar Lar, and Dyme good guys?

Now for criticism:

It is unclear how Axel got a heart back.
Be more specific
How much time has passed?
Are the gang even still the same?


Those questions aside, good story. It has a nice concept, and I would like to read more. 7/10. Just be more specific next time.
 

Livi

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i'm going to clear all that stuff up later in the story purified_riku155 well the gang are exactly like how they were at the end of kh2 i think about a month has passed since sora defeated xemnas and what do u mean by specific?
 

Raz

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Why would Sora & the gang automatically accept Axel? Shouldn't their be some wariness?
 

Livi

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yup okay here's the next chappie its long enough..right??

Chapter 6

As Sora was driving the gummi ship, Goofy and Donald ran into the room nervously.
“We can’t find Axel!” yelled Goofy.

“What?!” Sora shouted as he was trying to maneuver the ship, while dodging heartless attacks.

“Maybe he teleported to Twilight Town,” Riku suggested.

“Why would he do that?!” protested Sora.

“Don’t worry Sora, I’m sure Axel will be okay,” reassured Kairi.

“Look! There’s the door! Now lets LAND!” exclaimed Riku, who was tired of this constant arguing.

The ship approached Twilight Town and Sora landed, still worried about Axel.

****************************************************************

Axel walked into the sandlot and saw 3 teenagers being surrounded by nobodies. He recognized them from when he kidnaped Kairi, one had blonde spiked hair with green,camouflaged clothes, the other had brown hair with a sweatband that spiked his hair, and had a jersey on, the girl had brown hair that was spiked on the sides but the rest of her hair hung down, and had orange clothes on.

Axel ran to the rescue and summoned his chakrams. “Get goin’!” he ordered them.

“Hey wait a sec’ aren’t you the guy who kidnapped-“ Pence started.

“Listen, we’ll have plenty of time for introductions later but if you want to keep your life I suggest you RUN!” he shouted at them, and they obeyed and ran to the usual spot.

Axel took out the nobodies easily by throwing the chakrams so they spun around continuously, while igniting with flames all the while. When the battle was over Hayner, Pence, and Olette came out with confused but thankful expressions.

“Um, thanks for saving us out there..”said Hayner reluctantly.

“Yeah, but..the whole thing with..” Olette stuttered.

“Kairi, I know, I know, I already apologized to her and Sora it’s a long story..” Axel sighed.

They then heard someone calling them, and saw that it was Sora and the others running towards them They’re gonna kill me for abandoning the ship... thought Axel nervously.

“Axel! Where did you go?!” Sora practically shouted.

“Well...” then he told them what happened with the dusks and Larxene.

“Gawrsh, so whaddaya think Vexen is gonna do with the data?” asked Goofy.

“Probably make some kind of clone of me, like he did with Riku,” Axel said hastily.

“Maybe if we found out where they’re hiding, we could fix this mess before it gets out of hand,” suggested King Mickey

“Well, they’re probably at the World that never was...” said Axel.

“But we can’t use the gummi ship! We took serious damage from all those heartless,” Sora explained.

“Than use the computer in the mansion!” Pence exclaimed.

“Oh yeah! Let’s go!” and they all ran to the mansion.

********************************************************

“They’ve found out our plan master,” said Saix.

“Not entirely... we’ll just have to finish the replica and then send him to them when Axel isn’t there..” the superior thought aloud.

“What do you mean,?” asked Saix.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” he smiled.

*******************************************************

“Okay, the password is sea-salt ice cream right?” Pence asked.

“Yeah,” said Sora.

“Okay, you’re in,”

“Thanks Pence, okay Kairi, you have to stay here okay?”

“Okay, I understand,” she agreed reluctantly.

“Sora, me and Goofy are gonna watch the others,” said Donald.

“Okay,” Then the 4, Sora, Axel, Riku, and the King walked into the portal and disappeared.

COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! people i know u r reading this so WHY ARENT U COMMENTING???!!! i swear i wont update until like, all of u comment
 
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White_Feather

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many good complements for your tremendous work
one question
how did Axel know that the island he landed in was Sora's home?
i dont remember Sora mentioning any of that while Axel was listening



wait, i remember now, never mind
he found Kairi on the islands and he knew about their friend ship together becu Namine previously tore them a part

my bad:)
 

Livi

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heh thanx White_Feather i'm glad u like it! yeah axel knew pretty much everything about sora's life because he looked at all of his memories in Chain of Memories
 
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