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The Re:CoM vent thread



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Ernest-Panda

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AKA, the thread where I get ultra-salty over a perfectly fine game that I’m just not good at.



I’ve always hated Chain of Memories. It’s a game who’s gameplay I’ve just never been able to grasp. I recently started another playthrough via 1.5+2.5 Remix. I was dreading it, so I chose to play in Beginner mode with the hopes of alleviating my frustrations. For the most part the experience was tolerable.

That is until I got to the first Vexen battle. And after loss after frustrating loss on both Vexens, the final Larxene, and currently being stuck on the final Axel, I can confirm that I am still very much of the opinion that this game is awful and it and its craptacular gameplay can go fuck itself.

Here are just a few of my gripes for this game:

- The card battle system is frustrating as fuuuuck. Seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to combine precise number thinking with real time battles? Especially in the organisation battles. How the hell do you expect me to analyse what cards I’m using, as well as the cards of the enemy, in an environment where the enemy Will. Not. Let. Me. Breath? How can I ration my cards properly when I constantly have to use slates to break their high ass combinations. What’s that, “use zero cards” you say? I can’t keep my eyes on them! If I have any zeros in my deck, I’ve either unintentionally used them up in my combos, or I have to actual search my deck for them, leaving me open to constant attacks. And even if I do use a zero, it often gets trumped immediately after.

- Slates are pretty damn annoying too. With everything I mentioned above, how do you expect me to not only memorise like a million different combinations, but to get them in the exact order. Too many times have I intentionally tried to pull off a slate only to fail miserably because I’m playing… all the right cards… but not necessarily… in the right order. Oh, and if you accidentally select a wrong card for your slate? Start the whole process all over again!

- The dodge roll in this game is a fucking joke. It never works. I can’t get away from Vexen’s giant icicles, I can’t dodge Larxenes thunderbolts. I swear the roll doesn’t have any invincibility aspects to it at all.

- Donald sucking is often made fun of in this series, but my god does he take that suckage to a new level in this game. Gee Donald, thanks for healing my full HP bar twice in a row! Thanks for using fucking ICE MAGIC on VEXEN.

- If you get caught in a combo, which, may I remind you, is very easy to do with the awful dodge roll, make yourself at home because you’re not getting out of it! What’s that, you have a card that could easily break that combo right there ready to be selected? Too be bad you can’t use it when you’re stunned. COULD THIS BE ANY MORE FAIR????

- Oh! And speaking of fair: why in the actual hell do enemies and bosses get to use guards?! Using a higher card against Vexen? LOL BLOCKED. Just because he can.

- And yeah, Vexen, just. Fuck that guy.

So yes. I dunno if I’m actually going to attempt to keep going on this game and not just move on to the next game in the collection. Either way, I sure cannot wait to never revisit this bastard game again.


Epilogue:
Okaaaaay… for real though, I’m sure Re:CoM is actually a perfectly fine game that you can play just fine, you obviously have a better working number brain than I do, and that’s great. But I’ve personally just never been able to have a good time with this game for all the reasons I just got done over-the-top ranting about.

Either way, I hope you at least found this amusing, or maybe even found some of it relatable. I dunno.

Ciao.
 

Soldier

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Enemy cards much @Ernest-Panda?
honestly even if you don't go out of your way to grind for specific cards from enemies the ones given to you from bosses is more than enough. For example, Larxene is INCREDIBLY EASY to beat with just one enemy card, Hook. How you might be asking? it's simple:
Hook gives you second chance, which will keep you from dying from an enemies critical hit. It's useful in the main series and still useful here. In addition, it gives you Hook's gimmick (he's IMMUNE to thunder, but weak to fire). Since most of Larxene's attacks are thunder based, employing hook will guarantee you immunity to her magic (not sure about her physical slashes though, but at least it stops her DM from decimating you.

And Vexen is easy as well, just use Red Nocturne plus fire. Even the basic fire spell receives a powerful boost from this card, all it takes is spamming it. (also, Starlight Blitz sleight does numbers against Vexen, it's in the Room of Rewards in Twilight Town, all you need is the useless Donald and a fire to activate the slate(Or Agrabah on GBA).

KH RE:COM is a perfect allegory for life. It's frustrating, especially with math involved, but if you use the hand you're given, there's no reason you can't succeed. I PLATINUMED the game after all, so I know what you're going through and what to do. If you ever need any advice, DM me.
 

MATGSY

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Does it have to be RE:CoM or can I shit on the original? Because there was no good reason they couldn't have done a proper action RPG on GBA. Those exist, Square even made Sword of Mana which was a remake of an original Game Boy ARPG. So doing KH as a top-down/isometric action game should've been feasible since camera control & lock-on aren't needed.

D-Pad: Character movement
A: Jump
B: Attack (BTW, whose idea was it making B the jump button?)
L: Shortcut menu (spells mapped to A/B/D-Pad)
R: Guard/Dodge Roll (also not a fan of the double tap)
Start: Pause
Select: Scroll command menu (like X in Days)

It also sucks how every floor has a "blocks frontal attacks" enemy since in 2D, they can flip directions instantly. Not to mention Vexen & his fucking auto-phoenix down.

& oh Christ, why is it not dropping the card I need for Wonderland's gold door? >_<
 

Ernest-Panda

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I made it past Axel. I’ve now made it to the first Marluxia battle and finally decided “nope, fuck it, fuck this game, I moving on to the next 358/2 Days”.

Here’s a couple more things I just realised or forgot to mention before.

- Why the hell can’t you change lock-on targets in this game? I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried to strike an enemy in the overworld to get an advantage in battle, only to fuck up because I went flying off towards a completely unrelated target in the other direction.

- You want to know another way in which an enemies guard fucks you over? If you try to do a sleight that involves multiple actions at once (hitting, healing, etc.) the rest of the sleight just doesn’t happen if the enemy blocks the first attack. Picture this: I’m running low on health, I only have a few cards at my immediate disposal. The only way I have any hope of healing myself without inevitably being broke by an enemies higher card is to incorporate a heal into a sleight. So make one which consists of attack > heal > quick card reload. The first action (attacking) is immediately blocked by the enemy, meaning my chances to heal and/or quick reload is gone.

And here’s a loose overview of the many Marluxia battles I just lost:

>battle begins
>I press select to get the enemy cards up
>button doesn’t register because there’s like, a split second moment at the beginning of the battle where it just doesn’t
>my flow is disrupted, I scramble to get the enemy card menu up and select my enemy card while running around the field
>enemy card is selected, at the exact point that Marluxia begins knocking some health off me with a combo that I had no chance to dodge
>does a bit of parrying, cards are either blocked or deal pitiful amounts of damage
>Marluxia catches me in combos that I can’t escape from, usually when I’m in the middle of my combo and he breaks it
>does his big flashy moves. I attempt to dodge roll them and fail each and every time
>occasionally uses actual sleights like Strike Reid and Goofy Smash, often end up missing because the asshole can teleport
>he does his big ass desperation move that I can’t dodge, I panic and throw every sleight I can at him, none of them land, bunch of cards are wasted as a result
>remaining half of my HP is quickly drained by that move where everything is shooting at you from a bunch of different directions
>frantically searches my deck for that one card I need while running aimlessly around the field (how do you expect me to focus on the deck and where the hell I’m going at the same time?)
>“where is it, WHERE IS THAT CA-” aaaand I’m dead.
 

Soldier

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It says "resistant to lightning, weak to fire" does it not?

Oh well, It's a remnant of the GBA title because it had a designated 2 player vs. mode. The idea is that you'd use the card in versus against people who love spamming thunder raid to catch them off guard. But since RE:COM has no such feature, a lot of the cards had to be reworked for the now single player experience. But they forgot to do it with Hook. It's useful against Larxene, terrible against Axel, but otherwise is an alright card for the rest of the playthrough.
 
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