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Fanfiction ► The Muffin Man's brother, a Fan Fiction



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Raz

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The Muffin Man's Brother

By: riku104

A prequel to Candy Land!



NVTech_food0529.jpg
Prologue





Hey, stranger! Welcome to our little town of Small Ville, New York! Right here in fine 'ole U.S.A. You must’ve come hear to see the Muffin man, right? No? Have you even heard of the Muffin Man? The one who lives on Drury Lane? You DON’T? Well the Muffin Man is one of the most famous bakers in town. Now do you remember? No? Oh my, well I’ll tell you the story then! It all started in a little cottage in Germany, a long, long time ago…





NVTech_food0529.jpg
ChapterOne



The cottage was nestled in the Frigid Alps, which is especially frigid in the wintertime, in which the beginning of this story takes place. Muffin and his family stayed in the house all winter doing what they loved best, baking. Їvinheim, the father of the family, was mixing the batter for a wonderful chocolate moose filled muffin.



“Momma, are we be a making muffins?” said Muffin, the ever-inquisitive young youth.



His loving mother Ũlnaa replied, “ Why yes dear. Would you and your brother like to mix the batter?”



Muffin nodded vigorously, while his older brother Bäakeerin (Baker for short) merely shrugged, “ You can go first, Muff.” He said.



Muffin hopped up on a wooden stool so he could reach the counter. He grabbed his spoon and began mixing. As soon as the spoon reached the bowl of chocolate moose mix a marvelous smell spread through the cottage. When the little child began stirring, the mixture seemed to come alive, churning with beautiful excellence.



Ũlnaa hopped up and down with joy at the smell of the muffins. Being rather large, this caused a cup of fresh buffalo chips1 to spill all over Baker. Enraged by this Baker rushed over to his brother and ripped the spoon roughly from the pudgy youth’s hands.



“Lemme try, it’s my turn! I bet you anything that it will smell just as vündersňeek2 when I use the magic spoon on the mix!” Baker yelled.



1: Dry buffalo poop, used as a coal for fires in the olden times 2: Wonderful in German



Їvinheim laughed a loud German, fat laugh, “ It be only a wee spoon, Bäakeerin! It’s only magic if the user loves to bake. See,

have a go at it!”



So Baker put the spoon in the mix and began stirring while muttering, “ You’ll see…”



But instead of the lovely smell made by Muffin, a horribly vile disgusting smell greeted the family’s noses. They’re poor husky Poomsie, (having an ultra sensitive nose) began whining unpleasantly.



Baker laughed, “ See! Doesn’t it smell vündersňeek?”



Muffin talked through tears from the horrible stench, “ How in the great Billy goat up in the sky can you think that smells vündersňeek?”



Baker sneered, “ You’re just jealous because I’m a better cook than you, this smells vündersňeek!”



Їvinheim walked up to his oldest son, “There is no honor in cooking when cooking just to showoff, son. Accept failure and move on. Baking just isn’t your thing. Your more of the outdoorsy type!”



Їvinheim was right about one thing: Baker was much more happy when showing off his skiing skills to the girls in the near by town than baking for the love of having others enjoy his food.

But Їvinheim was also wrong about one thing to: The spoon was magic.Very, very magic, you see a couple of winters back Baker was trying to tackle poor little Muffin in a snow fight. Muffin ran and hid inside in an oak tree hallow. What Muffin found inside was the very spoon he uses to bake. But the magic in the spoon is not to be taken lightly, for if the user has icky imagination fueling the spoon the food made with it will indeed be evil…


The begining is slow, but than the Nazi army comes...
 
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Thelonepickle

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MUFFIN! I LOVE MUFFINS! THE NAZIS ARE GOING TO ATTACK MUFFIN?! THAT'S SOOOO NOT VUNDERSNEEK!

I like that word. Vundersneek. Continue on!
 

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O.O Peeples replied! ZOMG! Last I looked here knowone had! Oh, and no more fancyness, my comp won't let me..Well, here ya go:



CHAPTER TWO​

Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months and Baker got more and more angry everyday. Even the girls commenting on his beautiful blue eyes, his shiny blonde hair, his awesome skiing skills, and his vündersňeek smile didn’t cheer him up one bit. He kept trying to outwit his little brother in cooking, telling him that sugar would make the food taste better. But, having no sense of smell, this actually did make Muffin’s food taste better. After a year of this tomfoolery Їvinheim and his dear wife Ũlnaa decided that the only way to get their son’s taste and smell back in order was to go see the doctor.

“Mother, no! I simply refuse to go to a doctor!” the bratty teen seethed.

His mother snorted angrily, “You better hope I don’t sign you up for an attitude transplant, young man!”

The family packed a few meager belongings and left without another word. The journey to town was hard and rough and the family suffered from blizzards so thick you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. After three long days of harsh journeying the family arrived at the doctor.

The office smelt like most doctors’ offices do… horrible. Yet Baker seemed to enjoy the scent a lot. He liked the stench of death.

“Mr. Bäakeerin E. Man, it’s your turn,” said the receptionist in a nasty voice.

The family followed a series of long twisting hallways. Finally they reached a rickety door with a nameplate on it which read: Doctor I.N. Payne.

Muffin shivered, “I don’t like this, Momma…”

Ũlnaa squeezed her son, “There is nothing to be a worried about me little formaldehyde3.”

Їvinheim opened the door. It slowly creaked open to reveal the most horrible place the family had ever laid their fragile eyes upon. The walls were a ghastly red and covered with all sorts of horrible instruments of pain. What was worse was the man standing the middle of the room. He looked like he was Indian, had a malicious smile, and wore a bright yellow shirt.

3: German for lovely one, in America it is the name for the substance use to store road kill in, gross.

“Hello-I-am-Dr-I.N.-Payne. -What-may-I-do-for-you?” He talked in clipped words, always with that horrible smile on his face.

Baker walked up to the man, “My horribly stupid family think I can’t taste things right! Can you enlighten them how stupid they are so I can go say hello to the Güllmeiner sisters?”

“Taste-and-smell? I-be-only-a-0ptometrist! That-be-for-eyes!”

Їvinheim sighed, “Where in Germany can we find someone for our little brat?”

Amazingly Dr. Payne widened his smile, “Not-in-Germany-but-in-AMERICA!”

So the poor family got on a boat to the U.S.A!
 
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Bumpage.. *cries*
 

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This Is Such The Most Vundersneek Thing Ever! I Can't Believe You Had To Bump It!

It's So Great! I Absolutely Love It!
 

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Yipee!



Chapter Three

Now you really must know that when I say olden times I mean OLDEN times. In fact Muffin’s amazing story was happening just as WWII was going on. But living in the Alps the poor family never heard that such horrible things were happening in fine ‘ole Germany.

The family traveled west to the sea, finding the first steamboat that could take them to America. It was such a shame that the only steamboat going to America was a Nazi war craft bent on destroying the only place the family could find a cure for their brat! As the family stepped aboard the boat a rather ugly short man stood in their way, “What in the name of the great Billy goat up in the sky makes you think you can ride on my Nazi invasion ship?”

Ũlnaa snorted, “You want to take over America? Fool! All we need is a ride there. Can you manage that?”

Baker walked towards the midget and said, “Sir, please let us go to America with you! It will make my idiot parents shut up! Please!”

The bulbous man laughed, “A boy after me own heart. Get on board the ship of Adolph Hitler the Generous!”

The family climbed aboard and were shown their rooms and given matching army suits. Somehow Muffin knew that this ship would mean trouble and that he was going to find out a tad bit more about these Nazi guys…

The night was unpleasant because none of the family had ever been on a sea craft before. Muffin felt like if he didn’t get water soon he would barf. So he grabbed his lucky spoon and headed to what he thought was the kitchen.

He slowly creaked open the door when he heard the most beautiful voice in the world say, “Mamma! Papa! I do not weesh to bee on zis ship!”

“Honey the only way we can go to America is sneaking on this ship. We’ll be in a nice place in due time,” a mans voice replied.

Curious, Muffin opened the door a tad bit more and crawled in.

“Oh my, a wee child Nazi!” and before Muffin knew it he was scrapped up into the arms of a woman with dark eyes and long curly hair.

A very beautiful girl, around Muffin’s age, said, “Oh! A friend for me while I am on zis ghastly voyage!”

“We should set him outside the door. We don’t want aneeone to notice uz. Now get back to zleep!” the man said.

The door closed sharply in Muffin’s face. He sat there for a moment thinking about that beautiful French girl.

Around an hour or so later the door opened in front of Muffin, and the French maiden stepped out, “ Ello, what ez your name?”

Muffin smiled and said, “My name is Muffin, and yours?”

“My name ez Gabrielle…”

“So what is your family doing on the ship?”

“We are of Jeweesh decent. Momma says it ez no longer safe in Europe…and why are you here?”

“My brother can’t smell things right so we have to go see a doctor in America.”

Gabrielle laughed,” You are zo very funny!”

Muffin laughed too,” Hey, want to go down to the kitch-“

BOOOM! BOOOOM! The ship rocked back and forth. All the lights came on and the Nazi men ran out from their bedrooms.

“We’re under attack!” Screamed Adolph Hitler loudly.

Muffin grabbed Gabrielle’s hand and they ran in no particular direction, just away. More and more loud noises were heard and the ship rocked more violently. Water began to spill in from all sorts of different angles. The rocking became more and more violent. Gabrielle clutched Muffin’s hands tighter. The world seemed to spin, and than it all went black.
 
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Raz

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Thelonleypickle is my only fan! *cries*

BUMP...
 

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*cries somemore* BUUUUUUMP!
 

Raz

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Bump? Again? Oh sigh, thelonepickle has left me...alone. =(

;_; I feel sad.

xD
 
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Raz

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84 FREAKING VIEWS? AND NOT ONE COMMENT?! YOU ARE ALL SO EVIL!

.-. Should I continue? Or quit?
 
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Thelonepickle

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I LOVE THIS FIC!

I'm so sorry. I never see this fic up on the first page! I've neglected it. I'll try and be better. I didn't know you updated!

"A wee child Nazi!" OH MY GOSH! THAT WAS HILARIOUS! THEY THOUGHT MUFFIN WAS A NAZI!
 

Raz

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That's O.K., Pickle. =D Yay! A new chappie! Enjoy:


Chapter Four​

Muffin opened his eyes slowly hoping that he and Gabrielle weren’t dead. But then he realized he was still holding on to Gabrielle, he was still alive. Muffin shook Gabrielle awake, praying to the great Billy goat in the sky that she was not harmed.

“Ai, Muffin. Stop shakink me! I’m all right…” she said.

Muffin laughed, “Lets take a look around! Maybe we are in America!”

High towers decorated the horizon and an amazing statue was planted smack dab in the middle of the island that Muffin and Gabrielle washed ashore upon.

“I know zis place Muffin! It ez the statue of Liberty! My country gave this to America! We are en New York City!” Gabrielle exclaimed.

Muffin and Gabrielle were overcome with joy at their luck.

“Lets find away of the island to we can find our parents. They must’ve made here, too” Muffin said.

Gabrielle and Muffin searched the island for some way off, but to no avail.

Gabrielle and Muffin made there way to the top of the Statue of Liberty just as the sun began to set. It was beautiful beyond imagination.

“Et ez vündersňeek you say?” the French girl asked.

Muffin laughed, “Very vündersňeek indeed” Muffin sighed. “We will find our parents. Don’t worry.”

Gabrielle’s laugh sounded like little tinkling bells, “I do not worry, you are with me…”

When the last of the sunlight vanished the young children made there way slowly back down the stairs. A strange light emitted from the end of the doorway.

A friendly voice called out, “Hello this is security. Please come out with your hands up.”

Muffin nodded to Gabrielle and they walked out the door cautiously, hands held up high. A tall black man in a blue uniform greeted them.

“Hey kids, what do you think you’re doing here so late?” he asked in a pleasant but firm voice.

Muffin smiled and said, “Well, Gabrielle and I survived a Nazi ship wreck!”

Gabrielle sighed, “We do not know ef our pareentz are alive!”
The tall man’s smile faded, “A Nazi shipwreck? Well we better find your parents fast! Do you have any idea where they might be?”

Muffin answered, “I know where my parents are! They are at the doctors!”

The officer smiled, “Which doctor, kid?”

Muffin shrugged, “Whichever doctor be in America, I guess.”

“Well then, my name’s Hank! You better come with me so I can find your parents!”

Gabrielle ran to Hank and kissed him on the cheek, “ I zink I like zis America!”
 

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^_^ Thanks! I'll post another chapter on Saturday. So much homework, you know?
 
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Thelonepickle

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This... Is the best fic ever. I love it!

Do Gabrielle and Hank hook up?! :O

Or does she just kiss everyone?
 
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