Help/Support ► The LGBT Help and Support Thread (v3)

[Chaser]

Well, I'd say yes, but try to be subtle about it IMO. Just slow hints and see how he reacts, like checking the water before jumping in. Hopefully he'll show signs that he's thought of you in ways more than just a friend. If not, you should probably just stick where you are with him.

All right, I'll try that thanks . Any suggestions for what I could do?

EDIT: And what kind of relationship are you looking for with him?

I don't know. It would be nice to make out with him, maybe date him a few months. so I guess boyfriend but I'll be fine with friend if it doesn't happen

 

[Wonderglow]

All right, I'll try that thanks . Any suggestions for what I could do?

Well for instance every once and a while you could make comments to him like "Damn that's sexy!x)", "I LOVE you man!" or "I would definitely share that fork with you " I know it may sound corny, but that's on purpose. He could either laugh it off as a joke right away, take a second to think about it, or even straight out give you a signal back.

Also things like the movies- see how he acts if you two go alone together. Try not to make what movie it is too big a deal, just watch for how he sits, how much he talks, and if there's any awkwardness during certain scenes. And even keep an eye on how you guys order your snacks- sharing candy, popcorn, and cups can effect the atmosphere in the movie. See how much he's willing to share- for 'economic purposes' of course.

Then there's plain physical tests- Can you get him to look into your eyes? How close can your guys' hands be? How close is he willing to sit to you? How does he react to an arm around the shoulder?

It shouldn't be that hard to decipher his feelings after trying out a couple of those things.

 

[Chaser]

Well for instance every once and a while you could make comments to him like "Damn that's sexy!x)", "I LOVE you man!" or "I would definitely share that fork with you " I know it may sound corny, but that's on purpose. He could either laugh it off as a joke right away, take a second to think about it, or even straight out give you a signal back.

Also things like the movies- see how he acts if you two go alone together. Try not to make what movie it is too big a deal, just watch for how he sits, how much he talks, and if there's any awkwardness during certain scenes. And even keep an eye on how you guys order your snacks- sharing candy, popcorn, and cups can effect the atmosphere in the movie. See how much he's willing to share- for 'economic purposes' of course.

Then there's plain physical tests- Can you get him to look into your eyes? How close can your guys' hands be? How close is he willing to sit to you? How does he react to an arm around the shoulder?

It shouldn't be that hard to decipher his feelings after trying out a couple of those things.

Alright. Nice list. I shall try some of these things out xD

Thanks so much for this

 

[Beyer]

I feel like asking a question to you all:
Have any of you met someone simply once, just for an afternoon at a party or something, and then not been able to stop thinking about them for the next few weeks, even months? Does it frustrate you that you have only met this person once and already have developed a massive crush on them?

Well those questions apply to my life right now. I met a guy in April and we talked and got along for about 4-5 hours. From the time I left I could not stop thinking about him. He has been in my head all the time ever since. I have recently talked to him more hoping he would not turn out as amazing as he is in my head but he turned out to be just as, if not more, amazing! GAH!

So yeah, anyone ever been in a similar situation? Just for conversations sake.

 

[Chaser]

Naw. As my friend would say "thats adorable".

I've had that. Latest one is a guy I havent met, but my friend tried hooking us up.

 

[Raz]

I feel like asking a question to you all:
Have any of you met someone simply once, just for an afternoon at a party or something, and then not been able to stop thinking about them for the next few weeks, even months? Does it frustrate you that you have only met this person once and already have developed a massive crush on them?

Well those questions apply to my life right now. I met a guy in April and we talked and got along for about 4-5 hours. From the time I left I could not stop thinking about him. He has been in my head all the time ever since. I have recently talked to him more hoping he would not turn out as amazing as he is in my head but he turned out to be just as, if not more, amazing! GAH!

So yeah, anyone ever been in a similar situation? Just for conversations sake.

Hahaha. I feel like that happens to me every day of the calendar year.

 

[Chaser]

Hahaha. I feel like that happens to me every day of the calendar year.

spec. with hot people you randomly see on the streets

 

[Beyer]

spec. with hot people you randomly see on the streets

GAH TOO TRUE!
I remember late last year there was this one guy I would see working at the local supermarket and he was so hot and seemed like such an amazing person! But alas now he has gone off to uni
Eh, he has nothing on the new guy! lol

 

[Chaser]

GAH TOO TRUE!
I remember late last year there was this one guy I would see working at the local supermarket and he was so hot and seemed like such an amazing person! But alas now he has gone off to uni

My friends and I play a game called 'dibs'. When we see a hot guy, first to say 'dibs' gets him I always win xDDD

Eh, he has nothing on the new guy! lol

Naw =)

 

[loke13]

Alright so about two weeks ago I was invited to the beach by my "friend" he also invited other people but they chickened out *assholes* the only other person there was this boy who used to go to my school before I moved so we went to his bedroom and started making out with each other. Now that was hot.

My "friend" is a bit of a horny guy. It is my mission to eventually sleep with him.

 

[Chaser]

Seriously Loke? I never took you for a, well, bi/gay guy.

So my friend that I liked decided that he isn't bi. stupid thing is I still have these "muffins"( ok, back story time. It feels really weird to say "feelings" so I decided to use the word "muffins" to replace it. My friends and I use it now to talk about my muffins with him) for him. I find it hard to talk to him, to be around him, just the usual stuff.

I decided that we need some time apart and, when I told him this, he said to just be myself and eventually someone will love me for it. Now I'm soooooo confused. I want these muffins gone but anything about him brings them up

 

[Marly]

Well Chaser, you call this person a friend. So sometimes you gotta ask yourself if these feelings are so strong that you couldn't possibly carry a friendship with him, or if you value your friendship more than that. Trust me, I totally know how you feel, I was in love with my best friend for 4 years, and I had to watch her go from boyfriend to boyfriend, comforting her all the while. It was hard, but the times we had together were worth any sort of hard feelings I may have felt about not being able to have her. So really, before you do anything drastic you should weigh out your friendship with how powerful your feelings are.

 

[Chaser]

Well Chaser, you call this person a friend.

A guy friend. like, my first real mate.

So sometimes you gotta ask yourself if these feelings are so strong that you couldn't possibly carry a friendship with him, or if you value your friendship more than that. Trust me, I totally know how you feel, I was in love with my best friend for 4 years, and I had to watch her go from boyfriend to boyfriend, comforting her all the while. It was hard, but the times we had together were worth any sort of hard feelings I may have felt about not being able to have her. So really, before you do anything drastic you should weigh out your friendship with how powerful your feelings are.

Thats some really good advice. Thank you. I believe that we can carry a friendship out now.

and sorry about you and your friend. My mate is like that, jumping from girl to girl .

 

[Professor Ven]

I don't really know. Typically, I'm straight, though I have had slight homosexual thoughts. Some people would swear up and down I was female online if I didn't have the 'male' icon or whatever next to my username. (Or if I didn't act male-ish.)

Happened to me on Omegle, while I was bored. XD I kept being mistaken for a girl because I have OCD of spelling/grammar correctness.

More or less, I've been having problems with my ex-girlfriend-ish. After talking to her dad about it, and reading an old PM she sent me, which brought me back from my moodiness and brooding, I semi-reluctantly agreed to give her some space, since we'd been pushing each other around a bit. But eh, I'm sort of the personality that loves what loves back in return, but without the 'free love and communal living with lots of pot and orgies' type of thing. Grow to like/be friends with someone, then care/love for them, etc.

 

[Wonderglow]

Okay, back again! Recently a guy I know texted me saying he heard I was gay. I said yeah, I was bi, he called me weird then we kinda changes topics... It's been like a week now and everytime I see him he yells out "*my name* is bi, she went out with ____ last year!!" then walks away. On facebook too, whenever we post on the same status he'll put *cough*bisexual*cough* then my friends delete it cuz they already know and he's bein an ass. Soo yeah he's gettin on my nerves and I'd rather do something than just ignore him...

 

[Professor Ven]

Okay, back again! Recently a guy I know texted me saying he heard I was gay. I said yeah, I was bi, he called me weird then we kinda changes topics... It's been like a week now and everytime I see him he yells out "*my name* is bi, she went out with ____ last year!!" then walks away. On facebook too, whenever we post on the same status he'll put *cough*bisexual*cough* then my friends delete it cuz they already know and he's bein an ass. Soo yeah he's gettin on my nerves and I'd rather do something than just ignore him...

While it is frowned upon by authorities, brandishing a sharpened, combat-functional katana is rather imposing on most men..

And it gets you arrested, meh. Ignore the people that call you names, because they don't want to understand; it's the problem with most people these days. They never bother to learn and understand - and instead merely give it a label with a thumbs up or down sign, and finalize their choice on the matter. But really, ignore the stupid guy. If he decides to get in your face like some five-year old and keep aggravating you, just beat the living poo out of him, and politely inform him to leave you alone.

 

[Kiba]

Do you guys still offer help? I don't mean to revive an old thread...

Problem: A couple years ago I began to find myself becoming more and more physically attracted to other guys. However, I am emotionally attracted to females. I've had a couple girlfriends in the past, one really serious one last summer. Heres the problem, both my parents are christian, I was brought up, and still am a Christian. I was taught that it is wrong to have lustful thoughts about the same sex which is why until now I've denied ever having them. Nobody in my family knows, none of my friends know. There is probably only 2 people that I can trust with the 'secret'. I thought maybe if I told you guys you can help me?

If I tell my parents they won't necessarily disown me or throw me out (probably the latter would be more probable to happen) but they would probably make me take counseling and stuff. I think they've suspected me of being gay or bi but I've denied it the one time they asked. Advice/help would be much appreciated. :/

 

[Professor Ven]

I is back.

Really and truly, your parents need to understand that no matter what, your happiness and well-being should come first, as most parents in general should accept as the primary goal for their children. Regardless of what gender and such that their children lean towards, any sort of religious thoughts should be put away in this case; just because a two-thousand year old book written by Jews, put together by Pagan Romans, and translated horribly in some places by James I's scholars, says that it's wrong to be attracted to the same sex, doesn't mean that anyone should take those ideas and run with it.

In today's society, there are thousands of happy same-sex couples who are Christians. Sure, a church probably won't marry them together, but they still uphold most of the aspects and ideas of Christianity. Things change as time progresses, and unfortunately your parents can't force you to think what they want you to think. They can't control your mind, make up a personality they like for you, and try to make your life the way they want it to be.

However, as long as you are safe, happy, healthy, and of a sound, logical mind, your parents shouldn't have a real need to worry about your sexual orientation. They should trust you to make choices that you want to make, not for their sake, but for yours. Only you can decide what's best for you, because your parents may share similar genes with you and live in the same house, but they are not one-hundred percent you.

Your parents should accept your choice, and give you the trust to go through with that choice. Trying to force you onto a road they know is 'right' won't help you at all - you're human, so you can make mistakes. If they choose not to accept it, well, they can keep their opinions to themselves. Whether they like it or not, its your decision in the end. They just have to understand your point of view-ish and be thoughtful enough to allow you to take that leap of faith-ish, and such.

Hopefully that helps!

 

[O a t h keeper]

I'm kind of in the same boat. My parents are religious, though I've never heard them really say any thing about homosexuality, which just means that I have no idea how they would react. For a long time I wasn't okay with it myself because of my religion and the result was I just really hated myself. Since then I've accepted myself for who I am... but I'm just kind of afraid that everybody else might not be so accepting.

It sounds like that's how you feel, too. You also said that you're emotionally attracted to girls, so would you consider yourself bi? If you're unsure, it might be best to hold off telling anyone until you figure it out. Sexuality doesn't seem like it should be this confusing, but for some reason it really can be. Also, before you tell anyone you should make sure that you're okay with it yourself. Yeah, you're different in some way, but it's really only a minor detail that gets blown out of proportion by the rest of society because of the fear of anything differing from the norm. Being different can make you feel so isolated, but the truth is that there are plenty of people going through the same things. Stay strong and remember that you're not alone!

 

[Kiba]

I is back.

Really and truly, your parents need to understand that no matter what, your happiness and well-being should come first, as most parents in general should accept as the primary goal for their children. Regardless of what gender and such that their children lean towards, any sort of religious thoughts should be put away in this case; just because a two-thousand year old book written by Jews, put together by Pagan Romans, and translated horribly in some places by James I's scholars, says that it's wrong to be attracted to the same sex, doesn't mean that anyone should take those ideas and run with it.

In today's society, there are thousands of happy same-sex couples who are Christians. Sure, a church probably won't marry them together, but they still uphold most of the aspects and ideas of Christianity. Things change as time progresses, and unfortunately your parents can't force you to think what they want you to think. They can't control your mind, make up a personality they like for you, and try to make your life the way they want it to be.

However, as long as you are safe, happy, healthy, and of a sound, logical mind, your parents shouldn't have a real need to worry about your sexual orientation. They should trust you to make choices that you want to make, not for their sake, but for yours. Only you can decide what's best for you, because your parents may share similar genes with you and live in the same house, but they are not one-hundred percent you.

Your parents should accept your choice, and give you the trust to go through with that choice. Trying to force you onto a road they know is 'right' won't help you at all - you're human, so you can make mistakes. If they choose not to accept it, well, they can keep their opinions to themselves. Whether they like it or not, its your decision in the end. They just have to understand your point of view-ish and be thoughtful enough to allow you to take that leap of faith-ish, and such.

Hopefully that helps!

It does. Thanks.

It's not really my parents though, it's more of a me issue. After giving it some thought I think that if I told them they would probably be upset/mad and they wouldn't force me to go to counseling but they would suggest/encourage it. I'm nineteen, and they understand that the decisions I make are my own and that I will have to deal with the consequences when/if they arise.

I'm kind of in the same boat. My parents are religious, though I've never heard them really say any thing about homosexuality, which just means that I have no idea how they would react. For a long time I wasn't okay with it myself because of my religion and the result was I just really hated myself. Since then I've accepted myself for who I am... but I'm just kind of afraid that everybody else might not be so accepting.

It sounds like that's how you feel, too. You also said that you're emotionally attracted to girls, so would you consider yourself bi? If you're unsure, it might be best to hold off telling anyone until you figure it out. Sexuality doesn't seem like it should be this confusing, but for some reason it really can be. Also, before you tell anyone you should make sure that you're okay with it yourself. Yeah, you're different in some way, but it's really only a minor detail that gets blown out of proportion by the rest of society because of the fear of anything differing from the norm. Being different can make you feel so isolated, but the truth is that there are plenty of people going through the same things. Stay strong and remember that you're not alone!

I'm 99.999% sure that I am bi.

What you described is exactly how I feel. Whenever I see another male that is attractive I go through the same motions that I do when I see a girl and then I feel horrible for having those thoughts/feelings. I too am afraid that people won't be as accepting either. :/