Help/Support ► The LGBT Help and Support Thread (v3)

[Penance]

Am I a lesbian?

Sounds like you are.

EDIT: queasy is a strong word though.

 

[stephaknee]

I used to ask myself the same question all the time. I have a hard time defining my sexuality. I'm not really bisexual, but not really straight. Sometimes I think I'm asexual but that's not right either. I stopped trying to label it. So long as I'm happy.

ETA: Though I know I am at least emotionally attracted to my boyfriend. Sometimes I question it sexually, but that usually goes hand-in-hand with a shitty mood.

 

[Theart]

So I'm in a bit of an emotional predicament. Recently my boyfriend's been making me feel queasy, but he hasn't done anything. I feel really shitty for treating him the way I do but 7 times out of 10 I don't want to talk to him and will block him for days on end and won't talk to him. My sex drive for him has also completely gone out of the window. At one point, whenever I used to think of him in a remotely sexual manner I'd get butterflies, but now I feel nothing for him. He's a lovely guy, can be annoying and pesty at times, but completely doesn't deserve the way I treat him.

I also find myself not attracted to men anymore, or if I do see someone I find myself attracted to, it's never in a sexual case, but more of a "look at you, you're so beautiful it's heartbreaking". I started wondering if this was me being asexual in the sense that I'm not sexually attracted to men, or if I was just being shallow. I thought it was the latter because I would always find myself like a rabbit between the headlights at eastern men with beautiful hair and beautiful faces. I'm not bothered about bodies, though I can appreciate it for what it is, and faces are my poison as are throats, necks, jaws and collarbones.

Then I find that I always think of how it feels to be with a woman sexually. That turns me on more than thoughts of a man do, so that cancels out asexuality. Then I began to wonder if me being physically attracted to beautiful men but not sexually attracted was me comparing them to women, seeing feminine traits in them.

Am I a lesbian?

Well, it sounds like you are. Not that it's a problem. (I'm straight) Anyways, best thing I can suggest is find out for yourself. Kiss a girl and see if it turns you on more than your boyfriend does. Maybe its just that the relationship between yourself and your boyfriend has died down and that you're still hetero/bisexual. But I'm probably not the best person to ask for advice. ^_^

 

[Fame]

So I'm in a bit of an emotional predicament. Recently my boyfriend's been making me feel queasy, but he hasn't done anything. I feel really poopty for treating him the way I do but 7 times out of 10 I don't want to talk to him and will block him for days on end and won't talk to him. My sex drive for him has also completely gone out of the window. At one point, whenever I used to think of him in a remotely sexual manner I'd get butterflies, but now I feel nothing for him. He's a lovely guy, can be annoying and pesty at times, but completely doesn't deserve the way I treat him.

I also find myself not attracted to men anymore, or if I do see someone I find myself attracted to, it's never in a sexual case, but more of a "look at you, you're so beautiful it's heartbreaking". I started wondering if this was me being asexual in the sense that I'm not sexually attracted to men, or if I was just being shallow. I thought it was the latter because I would always find myself like a rabbit between the headlights at eastern men with beautiful hair and beautiful faces. I'm not bothered about bodies, though I can appreciate it for what it is, and faces are my poison as are throats, necks, jaws and collarbones.

Then I find that I always think of how it feels to be with a woman sexually. That turns me on more than thoughts of a man do, so that cancels out asexuality. Then I began to wonder if me being physically attracted to beautiful men but not sexually attracted was me comparing them to women, seeing feminine traits in them.

Am I a lesbian?

I think you are if I'm honest, unless you are going through a phase in which case it will go away with time, I don't know what to do but I agree with the person above me, give it a test and kiss a girl.

 

[Ehres]

Well, when I was 13 I experimented with two of my best friends, who are girls. While what I did with one of the friends feels weird since she was like a sister to me, the other girl, who I wasn't as close with, has stayed in my thoughts ever since, and I always think of the times she and I experimented on our own. Mind you I was young at the time and this was before I'd done anything with a boy, but I remember feeling really turned-on by her. I think it got really serious at one point where she was next to naked and I was licking her breasts, etc., but for some reason I got scared and stopped, but now I really want to do those things again with her. I know she's bisexual but we haven't talked in years and I'm really insecure about myself so I'd be too scared to kiss her or approach her now, as I would with any other girl, but I know what kind of emotions girls can evoke within me.

 

[Fame]

Well, when I was 13 I experimented with two of my best friends, who are girls. While what I did with one of the friends feels weird since she was like a sister to me, the other girl, who I wasn't as close with, has stayed in my thoughts ever since, and I always think of the times she and I experimented on our own. Mind you I was young at the time and this was before I'd done anything with a boy, but I remember feeling really turned-on by her. I think it got really serious at one point where she was next to naked and I was licking her breasts, etc., but for some reason I got scared and stopped, but now I really want to do those things again with her. I know she's bisexual but we haven't talked in years and I'm really insecure about myself so I'd be too scared to kiss her or approach her now, as I would with any other girl, but I know what kind of emotions girls can evoke within me.

Have you ever considered being bisexual yourself? Perhaps you lean towards the female side more?

 

[Ehres]

I used to think that, but now I just don't feel sexually attracted to men. Emotionally and physically attracted, yes, but not sexually. Physically as in "I know you're good looking and I can appreciate that".

 

[Theart]

Sounds like you're a lesbian then, sol. But Fame's right: you could just be bi and prefer girls (only time will tell) But again, I'm straight, so I wouldn't know. XD

 

[Solar]

You could go to a lesbian bar or something and see what happens.

 

[Siren]

You could break up with your boyfriend instead of putting him through all of this shit.

 

[burnley95]

The advice from a few days ago helped, thx.

 

[Chaser]

^Thats awesome! Fame will be pleased

 

[Ehres]

You could break up with your boyfriend instead of putting him through all of this shit.

I did, yesterday.

 

[Fame]

The advice from a few days ago helped, thx.

Aww, I'm glad I could help, thanks for getting back to me.

 

[Chaser]

Anyhoo....anything exciting happen recently?

 

[NumberVIII]

Hello there everybody.

So, listen. This whole big thing's been going on and I wanted to talk to somebody outside of the situation, and I figured this would be a good place to do it. I'm straight myself, but this is about two of my friends.

So, there are these two guys, I feel uncomfortable saying their real names so I'll call them Riley and Blake. I'm really good friends with both of them. Now, Riley came out last year, but Blake has never come out, even though everybody always suspected he was gay. (He is literally a girl in a boy's body. >>) Well, I found out last weekend while our chorus was on a weekend long trip for a competition that Blake had a crush on Riley. And, eventually over the course of the weekend (they shared a room and a bed and stayed up all night talking and flirting every night), Riley decided he liked Blake back. So the few people that knew about this were really happy and excited because not only is it the most adorable thing there ever was, but we all love both of them and, at least I personally just really want them to be happy. So, on Monday at rehearsal, Riley told Blake how he felt, and Blake said he felt the same way. Then Riley asked Blake out...he said he'd think about it, but then later that night he said that he was freaking out and he couldn't do it because he hasn't come out and he's scared. He doesn't want anybody to know, and he said even if they went out in secret people would find out. So, all of a sudden, things between them are awkward as hell, and Riley is absolutely crushed, and everyone involved feels like crap and we all feel so sorry for Riley. Last night, Blake confessed to me that he was embarrassed to be gay, and said that if he could change it, he would. This just about broke my heart (as if the entire thing hadn't already).

So, now we're all stuck. Whenever Riley and Blake are in the same room together (which unfortunately has to happen all too often), you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. I feel like I'm torn between the two of them. Riley is so upset, and Blake is too. And I know it really isn't my place to do anything, but god. I can't stand it, things are so terrible right now and everybody's upset. Riley is one of the sweetest boys I have ever met, and I just hate seeing him like this. Not to mention, he still thinks he has a chance with Blake, because he knows Blake likes him, but Blake is too scared and embarrassed of who he is. And I don't want to keep building Riley's hopes up only to have them be torn down later.

Now, I want your opinions on this. Is there ANYTHING I can do? I want to help them get through this, work it out, help Blake to accept himself and not be scared, but I feel like it's not my place to do anything. And yet I can't just sit back and watch everything fall to pieces, I care about these boys too much. :/

 

[madammina]

Best advice I can give is just give both of them support.

 

[Chaser]

Tell Blake that everything is going to be better if he is true to himself and maybe for Riley, do some things with him that might take his mind off things, like a distraction.

Thats the best I can offer but I'm not sure if it's good advice

 

[Chaser]

I am really sorry for the double post guys but it's been a few months plus I have a bit of an issue.

I'm in love with my best friend. Recently he and I got back to being friends after I was pissed at him(I forget why) and now I find myself thinking about him all the time and just wanting to be there for him. He's straight though. Well, he told me he was bi but that turned out to be bi-curious and that was for emo guys which I am not and the furthest he would go is hooking up but that isn't really important. He knows that I have a huuuuuuuuuge crush on him but I don't know whether to have this crush is a good idea. Should I move on or keep going at it in hopes that his bi side may be real?

Oh, he also said he would make out with me but that was a huge IF and a hypothetical question.

 

[Wonderglow]

Well, I'd say yes, but try to be subtle about it IMO. Just slow hints and see how he reacts, like checking the water before jumping in. Hopefully he'll show signs that he's thought of you in ways more than just a friend. If not, you should probably just stick where you are with him.

EDIT: And what kind of relationship are you looking for with him?