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Fanfiction ► The Dilemma (FF XIII and FF XIII-2)

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Sep 25, 2010
That was hilarious. Poor Fang stuck with Vanille forever and listening to her sing. And Hope with his silver hair problems XD so many characters with silver hair apparently. Lol.


Apr 9, 2009
Really? that's awesome, i used to have Yu-Gi-OH cards but then my mum chucked them out...man i wish she hadn't

yup... I do... just one thing where did you get the name 'mikoto' from? did you get it from an anime perchance? if so which one?


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
Chapter 7
Dude, you’re so racist​

Hope and Alyssa were wandering around Gran Pulse, not knowing what else to do. “So who are you exactly?” Hope asked.

“I’m Alyssa, I’m your assistant” Alyssa explained. “We’re scientists from the academy”

Hope was confused for a moment. “Are you sure you’re not a fan girl?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’m not a fan girl, who WOULD be your fan girl”

Hope got out his phone. “Well believe it or not, I DO have fan girls. Check it out” Alyssa looked at his phone and saw an online fansite. She couldn’t believe it.

“Did you pay these people to make this fansite?” Alyssa asked and received a glare from Hope.

“GUYS!!!” A distant voice screamed. The two scientists looked towards the horizon to see Noel and Mog frantically running towards the two. Well Noel was running, Mog was floating next to him.

Hope waved. “Noel, what’s up?”

Noel rubbed the back of his head. “Hey, what would you do if a bad guy stabs you in a trailer and you appear to be dead but you’re not sure whether you are going to die in a game that has not been released yet or not?”

Hope raised a brow. “What are you on about?”

“I mean, Caius stabs me in the trailer and I appear to die…would that mean I’m actually dead?” Noel asked. “And if so, what do I do about it?”

Alyssa came up with an idea. “Just face it like Zack Fair from Final Fantasy VII. He died and people still love him, and the fans still want to believe he’s alive. Zack is still alive in the fans minds so if you die you’re always alive in the fans minds”

“Who are you?!!!” Noel screamed.

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’m Alyssa, we met before, remember?”

Hope chuckled. “Don’t worry; she’s just one of my fan girls”

“Didn’t I tell you I’m not a fan girl?” Alyssa asked.

“Don’t be shy, if you want an autograph you can just ask me” Hope winked at her but she let out a heavy sigh.

“Thanks Alyssa” Noel said. “I really appreciate it” he was about to walk away when he suddenly remembered to ask Hope another question. “Hope, I have a question for you”

“Yeah?” Hope said sounding interested.

“y’know how you use that boomerang?” Noel asked sounding a little nervous.

“Yeah what about it?” Hope asked.

Noel stuttered “a-a-are you aboriginal?”

Everyone could only stare at Noel and blink, but mostly stare. Hope raised a brow “…what?”

“y’know, an indigenous Australian, it’s just that you have a boomerang and…”

“How does that make me aboriginal?” Hope asked sounding frustrated “Do I look black to you?”

Sazh walked past as he heard that comment “oh you wish you were black, white boy!” He said as he placed his hands on his hips and then quickly leaving the scene.
Mog and Alyssa could only cock their heads to the side and wonder if he was there before.

“How does me, using a boomerang, make me an aboriginal?!” Hope asked.

“Well a boomerang is used as a hunting tool by the indigenous Australians” Noel said, stating the obvious.

“The Egyptians used boomerangs as well” Hope explained.

Noel scratched his chin “…so does that make you Egyptian?” he asked


“But you’re at least from Gran Pulse right?” Noel asked, not seeing the fact that Hope was frustrated at him


Noel placed his hands on his hips “Dude you’re so racist” he said as he turned around and walked off.

As he walked off Hope muttered to himself, “You’re one to talk”

Lightning, Caius and Sazh: Valhalla

Once again, Caius was down below wanting to have a face off with Lightning. Lightning was looking bad ass near Etro’s throne and Sazh was looking bored, seeing as he was not meant to be in this scene but didn’t have any other scene to be in.

“Witness my wrath!” Caius cackled.

“YEAH!! YOU AND WHAT ARMY?!!” Sazh yelled.

“This army” he summoned these insect like creatures and they charged towards Lightning. Lightning and Sazh couldn’t help but laugh at Caius and the insects. Caius growled “what’s so funny?”

“Oh beware of Caius and his army of insects” Lightning laughed.

“Watch out they’re gonna squash us like bugs” Sazh said and the two of them laughed again.

“Hey Sazh, no need for guns and swords” Lightning grinned “we just need a fly swatter” They laughed again and all Caius could do was stare at them as if they had gone mad.

“Oh and no need for magic” Sazh said “we can just use bug spray”

Caius watched them laugh and he sighed “the f*** is wrong with you?”

Crystal Pillar​

Vanille had stopped singing but Fang had refused to talk to her “Fang? Why aren’t you talking to me sorry about singing” Fang still remained quiet “here I’ll tell you a joke, Knock Knock”

“who’s there?” Fang asked

“you know”

“you know who?”


Serah and Noel: Historia crux

Serah gasped at how amazing the Historia Crux looked on the inside “it’s amazing”

“It’s the historia crux” Noel explained “Personally I prefer to call it the flight to Neverland. Look at me!! I’m peter pan!!”

Serah shrugged “I’m a teacher; I deal with children a lot”.

At the end of the time portal they landed in Gran pulse. Only it was dark and scary looking and there was no sign of Cocoon or any other life for that matter. “This is the future?”

Noel nodded. “yeah, that’s it”

Lightning appeared through a portal of light and joined the other two. “Lightning? What is this place?” Serah asked.

“The future I could not protect” Lightning said. “I’ll explain” she walked past Serah just as she said that.

“Um Light?” Serah asked. “How are you meant to explain if you walk the other direction?”

Lightning shrugged. “I’m meant to look awesome”.


Snow, Noel and Serah.

Snow had just finished defeating a scary goop monster called a Flan. Serah went to hug Snow. Noel on the other hand was not happy about this. “Hey! I was meant to save Serah!!!”

“Too bad, I’m her fiancé” Snow smirked.

“Don’t you realize what your doing to the people you’re supposed to protect?!!!” Noel yelled.

Snow’s smirk faded. “Now wait just a damn minute! You’ve been looking after Serah”

Noel looked at Snow as if he were stupid. “actually no, I’ve made her life a living hell…OF COURSE I’VE BEEN LOOKING AFTER HER!!! IT’S NOT LIKE SHE’S MUCH OF A FIGHTER AND YOU’RE NOT EXACTLY AROUND EITHER!!!! “

Snow sighed. “The trailer cut off the rest of my speech”

Noel’s eyes widened. “y-y-y-you mean there was more?” he stuttered.

Snow nodded “yeah” and thus began his long speech “I’ve been on the search for Lightning, hoping maybe I’ll find her so I can return to Serah and make her happy and then-”

“uh oh” Noel said “he’s going into one of his hero speeches”

Serah got out of Snow’s grip and ran towards Noel “RUN AWAY!!” she screamed.

“HEEY!!! COME BACK HERE!!!!” he yelled and chased after the others.

Hope’s on an airship​

Hope found Serah and Noel on another airship. He couldn’t believe that he got to make an appearance in the extended trailer on an airship “I’M ON AN AIRSHIP!!” he yelled

Ride an airship LIKE A BOSS
Cry ‘bout something LIKE A BOSS
throw a boomerang LIKE A BOSS
summon alexander LIKE A BOSS
go on Facebook LIKE A BOSS
wear some yellow LIKE A BOSS
run from sanctum LIKE A BOSS
cast some magic LIKE A BOSS
piss off Snow LIKE A BOSS
Ride a robot LIKE A BOSS
Defeat a Robot LIKE A BOSS
Hit puberty LIKE A BOSS
Become a scientist LIKE A BOSS
turn to crystal LIKE A BOSS

Serah could only raise a brow “was that song really necessary?” she asked.

Hope chuckled “well…no not really”.

The group meet up again

All the main characters besides Fang and Vanille gathered together in a random part of Gran Pulse “okay, has anyone found out anything?” Snow asked the group.

“I know why Lightning has ridiculous armor” Sazh said.

Lightning scoffed “at least I’ve appeared in trailers”

“OH!” everyone screamed.

Noel sighed. “Caius stabs me” he said sounding upset.

“Apparently I’m a scientist” Hope said.

Sazh smirked “Didn’t think you had the brains”

“OH STFU!!!” Hope yelled.

Serah stood proudly “I’m definitely the main character here”

“but I’m the most important one” Lightning argued.

“but everyone’s anticipating more over my game” Serah said.

Lightning folded her arms across her chest “oh let’s not get into this argument again”

Noel chuckled. “Hey at least we’re getting more attention from the Authoress than Type-O is”

“TYPE 0!!!” A distant voice that sounded like Ace’s screamed. Everyone looked around to see where that voice came from

Snow shrugged it off “well, here’s the thing, we want to save Vanille and Fang”

“I don’t” Caius said bluntly.

Snow shot a glare at Caius “Well us GOOD GUYS want to save Vanille and Fang but in doing so will make Cocoon collapse. Lightning has somehow turned ‘greater than L’cie’ and Serah is off to find Lightning along with Noel, who’s from the future” Snow explained.

Noel nodded “yep, I’m the last human left in my time”

Snow glared at him “don’t go looking at my fiancé for breeding more humans!!!!”

Lightning glared at Snow “don’t YOU think about my sister that way”

“Hey we’re gonna get married someday and start a family” Snow said.


“35?!!” Snow yelled with disbelief.

“Yes” Lightning nodded “35”

Serah raised her hand up as if she were in class “um don’t I get a say in what I do with my reproductive organs?”

“NO!!” Lightning and Snow screamed in unison.

Caius decided it was his turn to bring up a point “y’know, I thought people from cocoon didn’t like pulse” he said “why would they be living there?”

Sazh shrugged “I don’t know, I guess they want to make a new start”

“why wouldn’t they?” Noel explained “There’s nice beaches, rain forests, wide open spaces, red soil, beer, BBQ’s, Koalas, Football, surfing, bogans”

“I think you’re talking about Australia there” Caius said.

Noel shrugged “Same thing”

“dude” Hope said “you’re so racist”

Noel folded his arms across his chest. “hey, at least this game has dark skinned people” he said. “I haven’t seen a dark skinned person from Versus XIII or Type-O”

TYPE-ZERO” a distant voice that sounded like Ace screamed.


TYPE-ZERO!!!” the distant voice yelled

Lightning looked around “ACE WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!!!” she yelled.

Not here” the distant voice yelled.

Lightning was annoyed with that distant voice “COME OUT NOW!!” she demanded.

Okay” Ace jumped down from the nearby tree and since game characters could defy gravity he made it okay. “hi guys!”

“Have you been following us this whole time?” Lightning asked.

“Well” Ace rubbed the back of his head and chuckled nervously “I realized that Noctis and Sephiroth are way cooler than I am so I followed you guys, because you seem cool” he explained.

“aaaaaaawww” Serah cooed. “How adorable”

“uuuh what about Sephiroth and Noctis” Sazh asked.


Noctis was sweating up a storm from all that sword clashing he was doing with Sephiroth. “How long are we going to keep this up?” Noctis asked “Ace left ages ago”

Sephiroth faced his long sword towards Noctis “good, now it’s between you and me”

“it would’ve been so much easier to have sued me for copyright” Noctis said.

Sephiroth lowered his sword “good point” Sephiroth said “I’ll go get my lawyer” he sprouted his wing “while I’m at it I’ll sue Lightning for taking that one wing idea from me” Sephiroth smirked.

“I spoke too soon” Noctis said. “well I guess since we’re done battling, do you mind opening a portal for me to see Lightning”

“sure why not” Sephiroth said as he opened the portal. “have fun, while you can” he said and then took off into the distance.

“Perfect” Noctis said and an evil smile appeared across his face. “Now I can finally take my revenge”

To be continued​

Final Fantasy XIII-2 would like to have a word about their sponsors​

“hey kupo!” Mog asked Serah “have you tried this gum?”

“no” Serah answered “why do you have gum?”

“this ain’t just any gum kupo!” Mog explained “This is Meiji Xylish. This brand is promoting our game”

“that’s kind of sad” Lightning said.

“hey guys!!” Noel yelled “check it out!!” Noel was not in his ordinary outfit but he was dressed as Ezio Auditore, Assassin’s Creed Revelations style.

“um…what are you wearing Noel?” Serah asked.

“Noel? Who you calling Noel?!” Noel smirked “I’m Ezio Auditore from Assassin’s Creed!!!”

Serah cocked her head to the side “I didn’t think you were into cosplay”

“haven’t you heard?” Noel asked “Ezio Auditore’s costume will be in Final Fantasy XIII-2 and since I’m the leading male character, I get to wear it!”

Lightning rolled her eyes “you look stupid! Get out of that costume now”

“No!” Noel yelled “From now on, I’m going to be an assassin. It’s about time this game got an assassin”

“Hey guys” Snow waved. Snow also was not in his normal costume but he was dressed as Altair from the first Assassin’s Creed game.

Lightning’s eyebrow rose “who are you meant to be?” she asked.

“I’m Altair” he smirked and turned towards Noel “who are you?”

“Ezio” Noel explained proudly.

Snow cackled “ ahaha! I’m the original”

Noel placed his hands on his hips “yeah well I’ve been in more games than you have”

“Oh yeah!” Snow got into fighting position “we’ll see about that” The Farron sisters watched as the two ‘assassins’ fought eachother. They kept this up until another assassin came to the scene.

“hey Noel!” Hope yelled. He was dressed up like Ezio but he was wearing the Assassin’s Creed two outfit “I thought I was Ezio!”

“Hey! I was Ezio first!” Noel explained “Besides I’m in the latest costume”

Hope smirked “well at least I ain’t an old man!” he said and let out an evil cackle.

“OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!” Noel yelled and the two Ezios and the Altair fought over who was the better assassin. The Farron sisters watched from a distance. Lightning looked towards Mog who was also dressed as an assassin.

“Mog? Are you dressed up as an assassin as well?” she asked.

“I’m from Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood kupo” Mog explained.

Caius walked into the scene wearing normal clothes “and I’m Desmond Miles” he explained. Lightning’s palm met her face.

“We have too many assassins here” Serah said.

Lightning sighed “this is Final Fantasy XIII-2 not Assassins Fantasy XIII-2”

Last edited:


Oct 9, 2009
pfft ahahahahahahahahaahah >X'D hilarious just hahaha always makes my day~


Sep 25, 2010
“Oh beware of Caius and his army of insects” Lightning laughed.

“Watch out they’re gonna squash us like bugs” Sazh said and the two of them laughed again.

“Hey Sazh, no need for guns and swords” Lightning grinned “we just need a fly swatter” They laughed again and all Caius could do was stare at them as if they had gone mad. “Oh and no need for magic” Sazh said “we can just use bug spray”

Caius watched them laugh and he sighed “the f*** is wrong with you?”
this was just hilarious! Rofl like crazy! Bugs pfft hahahahahahahahah!

I also thought Hope singing Like a Boss was even more hilarious! But the end was the cherry on top! It's so funny that it's sad cause it's true!

Anyways thank you for giving us such a hilarious chapter! It was great!


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
thanks guys. I'm glad you all enjoyed the latest chapter.

The next chapter is going to be the final chapter but there is a prequel...though it may be too big to put on a forum thread so I'll put the prequel on fanfiction.net and i'll link it on this thread when it's published.


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
Chapter 8

“It was a lovely day in the land of Gran Pulse. Lightning and her friends were travelling around this new game, along with Ace from Type-O-”

“TYPE-ZERO!!!” Ace screamed. “That bloody Narrator! Can’t get the name of my game right!”

“…It was so quiet, so peaceful. Everyone thought nothing could possibly go wrong”

“Hello Lightning” a mysterious voice said. The gang looked towards the dark portal to see Noctis step out. This time One Winged Angel was not playing, just in case Sephiroth came back to interrupt the fight.

“Until Noctis had arrived to spoil their fun, Everyone was confused and didn’t know what they could possibly do.”

“Can we seriously get rid of this Narrator?!” Noel asked. “She’s getting on my nerves”


Lightning got out her gunblade and Mog transformed into Serah’s bow. “What do you want?” Lightning asked.

“Yeah, you want to fight the main character?!” Serah said. Lightning lowered her gunblade and looked at Serah as if she were delusional.

“Um…I’m sorry but who made you the main character?!” Lightning asked, sounding a little annoyed.

Serah got ready to shoot her arrow towards Noctis. “You’re no match against me Noctis Lucas Caelum!”

Noctis chuckled. “How adorable, she thinks she can fight me”

Serah pulled the string of her bow, about to shoot Noctis. “We’ll see who the better main character is” Serah let go of the arrow. However she completely missed Noctis and heard someone else scream in pain.

“OH MY GOD!!!! The narrator screamed. “YOU LITTLE B****!!! MY F***ING LEG IS BLEEDING!!!!”

The others watched Serah’s desperate attempt to fight Noctis. Hope sighed, “oh dear”.

Serah got out another arrow. “I’m really sorry, this time I’ll shoot Noctis” She did shoot alright, but not Noctis.

The narrator complained.

Serah frantically got out another arrow. “I’m really sorry! I’m not used to battling. I was an NPC in the first game” Snow and Noel were both concerned about Serah’s constant attempts at shooting Noctis but at the same time, no one really wanted to stop her.

Serah readied her bow and arrow and took another shot. It came close to hitting Noctis…by a metre over his head. “OWW YOU SHOT ME IN THE HEAD!!! Oh great…I’m dying now” there was silence coming from the narrator, because no one tells this story better than the authoress…that’s right people.

“Oh shut up Authoress” Caius yelled. “You’re just as annoying” Suddenly a lightning bolt hit Caius. A cloud of smoke surrounded Caius after he was struck and he emerged out of the cloud with his clothes, hair and body all fried up. “I take that back”. After he apologised the authoress gave him a hi-potion to cure up his wounds.

Mog turned back into a moogle and Serah collapsed onto her knees. “I-I-I just murdered someone” Serah stuttered.

“Hey, if it’s any consolation, no one liked that Narrator” Lightning said, trying to cheer Serah up. “Besides that’s what being a playable character is all about, murdering people”

“I don’t think I like being a playable character” Serah said.

“Oh deal with it!!!” Lightning yelled. “I kill things all the time, that’s completely normal!! We killed a retarded baby faced thing in order to complete or focus and that’s how this game began. I killed a gay old man who likes to disguise himself as cute young ladies for this game’s sake!!!”

Ace faced towards Noctis with his Yu-Gi-OH cards in hand. “What do you want?” he asked.

“Shut up Ace!” Noctis said as he faced his sword towards Lightning “You all know why I’m here”

Lightning rolled her eyes “I know” she said. “It’s because we have a sequel and your game has barely had any attention” Noctis nodded in agreement

“Well suck it up princess” Ace said “because this battle’s between you and me”

Noctis sighed “oh shut up Ace” he said “go back to Type-o”

Ace lost his cool at that moment “IT’S TYPE-ZERO!!!!”

Noctis got out one of his many weapons and faced it towards Lightning “this time, this battle is between Lightning and me!!!”

Lightning got out her gunblade and chuckled in amusement. “Alright, we’ll see who the better main character is” There was silence from the other characters. Noctis and Lightning both stared each other down getting ready to fight.

“b-b-b-but I wanna fight you” Noel said, completely ruining the moment.

“Me two!!!” Serah said “I’m the main character”

“SECOND main character dear sister” Lightning corrected.

Snow cocked his head to the side in confusion “I thought I was the second main”

Noel placed his hands on his hips and faced Snow “yeah only for the first game” he said as he pointed to himself proudly “Now the leading man is me”

“Hey hey hey! I’m the hero here” Snow said “I’m the leading man for Final Fantasy XIII, that ain’t gonna change”

Hope gave Snow a smug look “yeah well I appear more in this game than you have” Hope said “So far you’ve only been on one scene.”

“Excuse me but I’m the main man” Caius said “I was in the teaser trailer and I was introduced way before Noel was.”

“You’re a villain!” Noel yelled “You don’t count.”

Caius chuckled “but everyone knows villains are way cooler than the heroes”

Hope scratched his chin “you sure?” he asked “Because Dysley was SOOOO not cool. Same with Seymour from Final Fantasy X. Was he cool? NOOOO!?

“What about Sephiroth?” Caius asked

Hope thought about it for a moment “…he’s pretty cool but only in Crisis Core.” He explained “After that he’s all like “I shall destroy the planet” and “mother” and “I have a gay crush on Cloud”…something like that” Hope explained while doing a pretty good imitation of Sephiroth.

“What about me? You guys think I’m cool right?” Caius asked.

Hope was thinking of the nicest possible way of telling him how he wasn’t as cool as he seemed but Noel answered for him. “Let’s see, you have an insect army, you’re wearing leather, your hair is purple, your English voice sounds weird and your last name is Ballad. Does that sound cool to you?”

Hope winced. “ouch Noel, way to put it nicely”

“He stabs me!” Noel complained.

Getting back to the argument over who should fight Noctis, Sazh presented his argument. “Well I’m the only dark skinned playable character” Sazh pointed to himself “so I should be the one to fight this emo!”

“Oh please kupo!” Mog said “You haven’t even appeared in the trailers! If anyone should fight this emo is me Kupo!”

“WHAT ABOUT US!!” two strangely familiar voices yelled. Everyone turned around and saw two familiar crystals run to the battle field. It was Fang and Vanille and they did not look happy

“Excuse me but who turned to Ragnarok to save Cocoon?” Fang asked.

“We did!” Vanille yelled.

“You two are crystals” Lightning said “You can’t do anything”

Fang place her hands on her hips “Excuse me Claire Farron. I have been in Crystal for sooo damn long and I’ve had to put up with Vanille’s singing”

Lightning felt a twitch under her eye “Call me Claire again and I will severely hurt you” she said with a threatening tone.

Fang pretended to be scared “oooooh look it’s Claire. Beware of Claire!!”

“Wait if you’re here, who’s holding up Cocoon” Snow asked.

Vanille and Fang looked at each other and ran towards Cocoon “QUICK!!! HURRY BEFORE IT COMPLETELY CRUMBLES!!!” and thus the two crystals went back to holding up Cocoon.

“I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT ANY OF YOU!!!” Noctis yelled sounding completely frustrated “GOD I FEEL LIKE I’M DEALING WITH A BUNCH OF CHILDREN HERE!!!!” Everyone remained quiet as the dark prince cracked it. “I’M ONLY HERE TO FIGHT LIGHTNING TO SEE WHO’S THE MORE SUPERIOR MAIN CHARACTER!!!!!!” the group still remained silent until Serah spoke.

“But I’m the main character this time”

“SECOND main character” Lightning corrected. She got her gunblade ready and stood in her battle pose. Noctis did the same and finally the two clashed swords. It was the fight of the century that Square Enix will probably never show. Lightning versus Noctis. Everyone was in awe of their awesome until suddenly the PS3 froze.

Real world​

“$Tup!d gAmE!” a fan boy complained, raping the English language in the process “fINal FaN+a$y $uX”

“Dude?!” his older brother said “Why are you talking like that?”

“C0z ! c@N” the fan boy said proudly.

The fan boy’s more intelligent brother sighed “well maybe the ps3 wouldn’t have frozen up if you didn’t have so much porn on there”

The fan boy gasped “I D0n’+ hAVep0Rn 0N mal-l p$3” he argued “D!$ GaME !$ J(_)$+ $h!+. ! $h0Ul_D $+i(k Wid C0D!!!!”


Everyone was frozen in place. Lightning and Noctis were both unable to attack each other. They could only move their mouths and even so it was pretty difficult. “Damn kid with his porn!!!” Lightning cursed.

“Kids these days!” Sazh complained “Always watching porn”

Hope’s hands were frozen on his phone “can’t…write…Facebook…status” he said, finding trouble moving his mouth “My…hands…are…frozen”

“Hope” Lightning said with a firm voice “if you check us in again, I will hurt you once this Ps3 has been fixed” she threatened “Remember what happened when we were L’cie?”

“What happened?” Ace asked.

“Sanctum kept catching us because of his Facebook check-ins” Snow explained

“We’ll have to start all over again won’t we” Noctis said.

“That’s right” Noel answered for him.


The PS3 was fixed, however it was turned off “there, I’ve fixed it and I’ve gotten rid of the porn, now let’s continue” the boy said to himself but then sighed “oh great I’m going to start this battle all over again”

Ace faced towards Noctis with his Yu-Gi-OH cards in hand. “What do you want?” he asked.

“Shut up Ace!” Noctis said as he faced his sword towards Lightning “You all know why I’m here”

“Yeah, you’re here to fight me to see who’s the more superior main character” Lightning answered.

Noctis lowered his sword “how did you know?!” he said sounding surprised

“We had a whole argument over who should fight you before the game froze and now it’s been reloaded” Lightning explained.

Noctis shrugged “kay, long story short, let’s battle!!” Noctis and Lightning took no time to stare eachother down and just resumed their battle.

“b-b-b-but I wanna fight you” Noel said, completely ruining the moment.

“Me two!!!” Serah said “I’m the main chara-”


“Well sorrrry” Noel said.

Lightning and Noctis resumed their fight. Noctis thought it was only fair to use one sword seeing as it was just Lightning he was fighting and not having another three way battle with two light haired effeminate looking men. One with a long sword and one with an obsession over Yu-Gi-OH cards. Noctis was very happy, he finally got to fight Lightning and not any other character that only want to kick his ass for revenge or because he ripped off someone elses theme song. Just as he thought how awesome this fight was Sephiroth came out of a portal, along with his Lawyer.

Both warriors paused their fight and faced the people that interrupted their battle “OH COME ON!!!” Noctis complained. “I finally get to fight Lightning and now you’ve come in?! This is ridiculous”

Sephiroth faced his sword towards Noctis. “Silence prince” he said and chuckled.

“See told you” Hope said to Caius. “He was only cool in Crisis Core, other than that he’s pretty gay”

Sephiroth looked towards Hope. “Gay?”

“Well yeah” Hope explained. “You’re like, so gay for Cloud”

“Have you been listening to the Fan girls” Sephiroth rolled his eyes. “You have no idea what they say about you and Snow”

Snow’s eyes widened. “Wait?! Hope and me?!”

“That’s right, want to see what they have created”. Sephiroth handed them a doujinshi. Snow and Hope looked at the doujinshi.

“Hey Hope! We’re on the front cover” Snow chuckled until he flipped the pages and saw a sight that would scar him for life. It was Snow and Hope but the picture was very sexual. Snow and Hope screamed and Snow threw the doujinshi away. “OH MY GOD!!!”

“Snow?!! Why the hell would you do that to me?!!!” Hope yelled. “aaaaaah! My virgin eyes!!”

The doujinshi landed in front of Serah. She picked it up and everyone else surrounded them. “SNOW!!! HOW COULD YOU?!!!!” Serah yelled.

“It wasn’t me!!” Snow yelled.

“Wow, is that even possible?” Sazh asked looking at the picture.

Caius looked at the picture and cringed. “These fan girls have interesting imaginations”

Noel also looked at the picture and cringed. “Wow…if that was me I would be scarred for life.

“I’ve seen worse” Ace said.

Lightning looked at the picture and a blush appeared on her face. “T-t-t-that’s pretty hot”

“LIGHTNING!!!” Serah yelled.

“I mean, it’s completely unacceptable. How dare they think you do that to under aged boys!” she said with a stern voice but coughed afterwards.

Sephiroth chuckled. “You guys are such sissys” he said. “I’ve seen worse with Cloud and I.” He faced his Katana towards Noctis and Lightning “now that I have finally found you, I can sue you for copyright”

Lightning got out her gunblade. “Bring it on!”

“What’s going on here!!!” A mysterious voice had said. There were three Japanese men strolling towards them, not looking happy

“Who are you?” Noel asked

“You’re director” he said “Motomu Toriyama”

“And I am your designer” the second man introduced himself “Tetsuya Nomura”

“And writer!!” the writer said. “Daisuke Watanabe”

“Interesting” Caius said, sounding amused “not only do Final Fantasy characters from different games come here but also people who work in Square Enix”

“Good thing you’re here Nomura” Lightning said “I need to ask you to tweak my outfit a bit. I mean I know I’m meant to be some sort of powerful being but is this wing REALLY necessary?”

“And what’s with my hair style?” Snow complained “I look like David Bowie. Sure you can’t give me a much cooler haircut”

“Are you sure you can’t make me…less girly looking?” Hope asked “I want some more fan girls but they all think I’m too cute. Also, Dad keeps calling me his daughter. Do I look I’d be his daughter?! “

Tetsuya Nomura rolled his eyes. “No I’m not changing anything”

“Damn!” Noel curse “I was about to ask him to make me more muscly then Snow”

Toriyama got to his point “your game is about to be released” He said “therefore there is no need for you to carry out this nonsense”

“So Noctis, go return to Versus XIII” Watanabe ordered

Noctis gave them a look that said ‘I’m not amused’ “yeah, if you guys plan on finishing it” he said.

“Actually we’re going to finish your game” Nomura explained “most of square’s attention will be going to Versus XIII after XIII-2”

Noctis fist pumped “OH YEAH!!!” he opened up a portal and waved goodbye to everyone “LATER LOOSERS!!”

“What about him?!” Snow asked, pointing at Ace.

“He doesn’t even go here!!!” Noel yelled.

Toriyama raised a brow “are you even in this game?” he asked.

“No” Ace answered “I just wanted to share my feelings”

“Okay go home” Toriyama ordered “Back to Type-o”

“IT’S TYPE-ZERO!!!!!!” Ace screamed and opened up a portal “Geez do the guys in Square Enix know the name” Ace grumbled as he walked into the portal, returning to whence he came.

“Sephiroth?” Watanabe asked “Why are you here?”

“I have brought my lawyer and I’m here to sue Noctis for using one winged angel and Lightning from stealing that one wing idea from me.” Sephiroth explained

“Actually” His lawyer explained “you were all created in the same game company. Therefore they can steal ideas from other characters”

Sephiroth’s eyes widened in shock “what? But that’s copyright!”

“Not if you’re from the same company” Sephiroth’s lawyer explained. Now you can go back home. Sephiroth opened the portal and left.

“LATER LOOSER!!!!” Noel waved.

Toriyama sighed “Now let’s reload this game before we sell it to millions of gamers”

Lightning nodded in agreement. “Yeah” She suddenly realised what the director said. “Wait what?!”


End of Final Fantasy XIII​

Serah, Snow and Hope were back to how they were in the first game, celebrating the fact that Serah and Dajh were no longer crystal and that everyone were no longer l’cie. However, something did not feel right.

“It’s her knife” Hope said as he showed Lightning’s knife to Serah “I found it at the base of the pillar”

Snow pointed at Hope and laughed “HAHA! YOU’RE MINI!!!”

Hope looked up to glare at Snow, seeing as Snow was very tall compared to him “STFU!!! YOU’RE A FREAKING GIANT!!!”

Snow laughed “only short people like you say STFU in real life” he said and poked his chest “Look at you, you’re like half my size! If I dyed your hair blonde, gave you my clothes in a smaller size and gave you a bandana you could be my mini me”

“Just wait for it” Hope snarled “you’re bandana will go away and your hair will look ridiculous”

Snow felt the top of his head and sighed with relief “well this baby ain’t going anywhere anytime soon” he looked at Serah and gave her a sorrowful frown “I’m sorry, Lightning must be holding up Cocoon, along with Vanille and Fang”

“Wait! What are you talking about?” Serah asked “She was right here a second ago…and we saw her in ridiculous armour”

Snow shrugged “well this is the beginning of the game so let’s just say she’s dead” he explained “we’ll mourn your death my sweet sister in law” he said dramatically.

“But she’s still alive” Serah said sounding unamused.

Snow ignored what Serah said before and went on “Oh Lightning, how we’ll miss you so”

“SHE WAS RIGHT HERE!!!” Serah yelled, sounding frustrated at her fiancé “SHE APPEARS IN THIS GAME!! SHE’S NOT DEAD!!”

Snow put a hand on Serah’s shoulder “Serah, I know it’s hard to accept it but she’s gone”

Serah got out of Snow’s grip “URGH! YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS!!!” she yelled.

“She still lives” Hope said, also looking mournful.

“You’re right Hope” She said, sounding relieved that Hope wasn’t being as stupid as Snow “she is still alive”

Hope put a hand to his heart “she’ll always live in our hearts”

Serah let out an exasperated sigh “kay fine!” she said sounding annoyed at the two “You guys can go mourn over Lightning, I’m just gonna live on Pulse, change into a skimpy pink dress and in a few years I will go off with some random guy that isn’t as muscly or as hot as Snow and then we’ll find Lightning together” She said and then she stormed off

Snow grinned “you do that Serah, you do that.” And so the story of Final Fantasy XIII-2 finally begun and a new adventure was waiting to be played by many gamers.



Hope let out a mournful sigh as he logged onto Facebook. He only got many comments by Lightning telling him not to check them in or tag them in posts. He started to really miss having Lightning around. He typed his Facebook Status.

RIP Lightning We’ll miss you :’(

He didn’t log back in for another 5 minutes, when he did he found two notifications. The first saying: Noctis Caelum, Ace, Cloud Strife, and 8 others liked this. The second notification said Lightning Farron and Snow Villiers commented on your status.

Lightning Farron: 1st of all I’m still alive and secondly didn’t I tell u 2 stop tagging us in posts?!

Snow Villiers: Marqui did u hack into Lightning’s account?

Lightning Farron: wat r u talking ‘bout? I AM Lightning!

Snow Villiers: I get it now, Lightning must’ve given you her fb password b4 she died and told u to haunt people on fb using her account

Hope sighed and commented on his own status

Hope Estheim: Marqui that is 1 sick joke.

Lightning Farron: …whatever.
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Oct 9, 2009
hahahahaahah lmfao awesome just awesome! >X'D great job.
rofl that narrator....poor guy xD and lol lightning is a perv~

hahah nomura~
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Sep 25, 2010
That was hilarious! Especially the Narrator part! XD was just so awesome. I had so much fun reading this, even the creators showed up lol. Thank you Mikoto-Cat. Was a fantastic chapter that I'm sad to see it all finally end.


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
hey guys! If you enjoyed the Dilemma you may want to read the slight prequel "Fail Fantasy XIII". When I say slight prequel it means it's not quite from the same story but the jokes are the same. I will not post anymore fan fics onto KH Insider because...well...let's face it i'm never on.

So if you're interested I will now be posting in Fanfiction.net and Deviantart.com

The deviantart link goes to my profile page.

Anyways. Happy reading! Also I kept forgetting to submit this onto KHI but there's a side story christmas special to 'The Dilemma' but i can't really be bother submitting it now but you can find them on either of those websites.

Thank you :D
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