The Chocolate family and friends

[Sexual White Chocolate]

This thread will follow story of the Chocolate family.


So for those of you who don't know, Taylor is my son. We are a happy family, though many years ago his mother fell ill to fortunate circumstances so it was just left as me and the boy. Being a single father isn't easy and there have been many hardships, but as time progressed, we made do. We were one of the first to move into our house in the community as it is now, and have seen many developments over the years.

Since then, our family has changed. Taylor's uncle, my brother Tom (Trag), moved in a couple years ago. Haha, the times we've had.
Then there's my OTP, George (Oberon). He's like a second father figure to Taylor when I'm busy at work, which Taylor severly needs as he is 70% gay. Though the Corgi relationship may or may not be partially cause to that. Only time will tell.

Nowadays, we enjoy father and son time whenever we can. We don't see our uncle Tom as much anymore, but we thoroughly enjoy the visits when we can spare them. George is very busy as an editor these days, but we try to find time for the occasional candlelight dinner while Taylor stays over at a friend's house.


And there's just a basic look into our humble little family. I'll keep you all updated on our cRaZy antics and the antics of our surrounding neighbors!

 

[Sexual White Chocolate]

So Taylor came home today and told me he caught Jeels peeping into house again from the tree out back. I'm seriously considering putting up a more intense home alarm just in case he tries to break in. Jeels lives a bit down the street, but his peeping has gotten more severe over the last couple of months and I think he wants to have sex with me. I'm a little wary about his motives. And no matter how many times we call the police, he always comes back and tries to peer in with his binoculars. I can't even change with the windows open anymore. :/


Then of course, Tony (Shamdeo) is across the street. He doesn't even leave his house. Tony is my ex boss and pretty much after he took over the position when his father died, I knew I had to quit. He just sits on his computer all day jacking off to Toriyama videos and getting the interns to bring him his groceries. I heard his house smells like feces.


Taylor and I also played some football today. He's still got some weak little spaghetti arms, but I'm trying to get him to work out. The thing is though, his little friend Paolo (Wehrmacht) always tries to get him to play video games instead of going outside and it's a real pain in my ass. I want to kick this kid in the teeth, but it's Taylor's friend so I'm kind of torn. I'll get back to you guys on that.

 

[Sexual White Chocolate]

I think I hear noises outside. It might be Jeels again, or it's one of my many other admirers. I'm not sure. (10:50pm)

It was just that damn sloth again, falling out of the tree. The neighborhood calls him 'Ven' (Professor Ven). He's retarded and annoying, but ultimately harmless to everyone but himself. (11:04pm)



And it turns out my son has a new girlfriend. Says he got hooked up with her on the family-owned dating website. She has a weird foreign name, shawty or something. Weird, but apparently she's a looker so I'm glad my son isn't entirely gay.

 

[Taylor]

Dear Diary,

Today, dad played some football with me. I'm still pretty bad at it, but I really want to make him proud so I'm doing my best out there every day. Sometimes I want to run inside and play video games with my friend Paolo, but I don't think dad likes that too much. I don't even think he likes Paolo. I don't blame him. Paolo kind of looks like a stubby little elf boy. He also smells.

-Taylor

 

[Taylor]

Dear Diary,

Today, I got a new girlfriend thanks to my dad's online dating service. Her name is Shawty. She's really pretty, but she talks kind of funny. It's okay though because she likes to play video games too and sometimes we eat pizza, and when we do I can see this twinkle in my dad's eyes. I think it might be a tear of happiness, but it might just be his amazing eyes. Either way, I'm happy for our family now.

-Taylor

 

[Sexual White Chocolate]

My buddy Steve (scubasteve) came over yesterday. We in-depth discussed some new harry potter jokes for his stand-up routine and then we laughed at all the current employees at our old business. Steve and I actually used to work together, though he quit a little bit before I did. I had tried to be loyal, you know, having been there for so long, but enough is enough after a certain point. Anyway, sorry, I got a bit off topic. So after the jokes, Steve and I lit up a couple joints of this super dank kush and Steve told me about this dude whose throat he slit earlier in the week. Though to be honest, after the story he told me, the dude had it coming. He totally ate Steve's flamin' hots. Then I got a phone call for work and he had to leave but I told him we'd kick it again soon.


Taylor also told me about this friend of his "Victor" who I guess has some kind of sickly disease. I told him he shouldn't play with kids with diseases because he doesn't want to catch them too, but apparently it's not contagious. It turns out though that this kid is also a friend of a Paolo's who just sit at home jacking off and playing video games. I mean, I like games as much as the next guy but a 70% gay son needs to have some manly aspects about him too. I told him not to be too cordial, and Taylor said this Victor kid is always crispy. I'm not sure what that means, but I think it has something to do with his skin. Anyway, Taylor said he'd be careful not to physically touch him.


I also might go on a date tonight! Gorg and I are OTP, but he understands the need for women in my life, and I, his. Taylor could use a motherly figure perhaps as he asks many questions regarding his real mom. It's hard on the boy, but I'm sure with enough beatings he'll put that behind him and grow some hair on his chest.

 

[Taylor]

Dear Diary,

I met a cool new kid at school today. His name is Josh. He likes video games like me and he is pretty cool. I think he also has a job someplace but I forget where. That's pretty neat though! I want to invite him over for dinner sometime, but my dad already thinks i'm 70% gay for some reason. Maybe he'd play video games with me and Paolo and my friend Victor. Oh, diary! I haven't talked about my friend Victor yet. Victor is a really crispy guy, but he's still my friend. A lot of people at school are mean to him because he has poop problems, so I think that's why he's so angry all the time. He just wants a friend. My dad told me to be careful because I could get sick myself, but I googled it and Victor's poop problems aren't contagious! We can all keep playing video games together.

-Taylor

 

[Taylor]

Dear Diary,

I have a problem. My dad used to be sort of involved with this weird girl named Sarah. I never really liked her and I was really happy when dad finally got rid of her. Needless to say, it was a terrible couple of weeks until then. But diary, she hasn't left my life. For some reason she keeps hitting on me now! I think it might just be to try and get back at my dad, but it's really starting to weird me out. She's gross and mean and I just wish she'd stop bugging me and my dad!!

-Taylor

 

[Sexual White Chocolate]

I just got an e-mail from Naomi (Enchanted Rose) who lives on the other side of the lake. She said she wanted to meet up and give me something and to meet her at the library for it. Then we could figure out where to go from there. I'm not really sure what she wants to give me, but there's always been a lot of sexual tension between the two of us so maybe we'll have dinner and some drinks later.


Also, my friend Mark came into town. Unfortunately, we never had an opportunity to hang out. He's really bad about giving people a buzz whenever he's close by, and he still hasn't given me those guitars he promised. Figures. Maybe next time.


Work is going okay. I'm kind of like a jack of all trades at work, pretty much super talented at anything I do with the only flaw being that I care too much and sometimes overdress. But, I did just get a raise so that's cool. I will be able to afford gay correction surgery for my boy, soon, I think. This new Obamacare deal has really set out to mess with our plans though, seeing as Obama seems to think it's "perfectly normal" and that he supports gays. And don't get me wrong, I have gay friends. Ruben (Turn) is a great guy, and so is the person who cuts my hair. All gay. But no son of mine is going to be gay. At least he has the girlfriend, assuming she doesn't chew him up and spit him out. Fortunately he's got his old man's good looks.

 

[Sexual White Chocolate]

Also, my ex moved nearby towards the end of this past summer. Sarah (Sawah) still messages me a lot, and I think I've seen her make sexual moves at my son, but lately her sisters have kept her really busy helping them out. I haven't had too much trouble from her, at least.


I also caught Jeels going through my garbage again. I really need to do something about that guy. He keeps saying he just wants a video of me in my underwear, but I swear he'll keep coming (literally and figuratively) even if I do give it to him.

 

[Sexual White Chocolate]

So my old buddy Sam (Bukakke Sensei) came by this weekend. We drank a looooot of tequila.. I mean my head was pounding the next day. I'm not really sure what happened but I awoke in some dingy hotel with drugs all over the place and a dead hooker in the bathtub. I had to slap Sam awake, I almost thought he was dead, but then thank God he woke up and we cleared any evidence of us being there and left. Being Hispanic has its uses. Of course, we couldn't leave before Sam grabbed the coke that was left, including him taking a line of it. We figured it'd be best if we didn't hang out for a little while, but we'd keep in touch. Taylor asked me about the dried blood that was all over me, and I just told him there was an accident with a ketchup bottle at lunch. He's a good boy.



A bit later, Chris (Chris) called me up asking how those drugs were, and I was all "yeah man they were good but it got a bit too crazy." He asked for details and I just told him I would save that shit for special occasions and stick with the lighter stuff for most days. Fortunately he was cool about it, albeit a bit disappointed. But he said that he had a date with h5e4kGoR29Fs later that night so he didn't press the issue. I told him good luck and bought a couple more ounces.

 

[Taylor]

Dear Diary,

My friend Shannon (Passion) is really funny. She quit her job recently and I think she's really happy about it. She showed me a Youtube video of her and she was smiling a lot. I don't think she liked that job a lot. But I liked the video! I like Shannon; she's really nice. But not like like, diary! I'm dedicated to my baby doll, Shawty, and I think my new friend Josh has a thing for Shannon anyway. My dad's dating site definitely matched them up, and it made me really happy! Maybe we'll all go on a double date sometime. That'd probably make my dad happy.

-Taylor

 

[Taylor]

Dear Diary,

I love my dad but he confuses me sometimes. He keeps dropping hints about the 70% gay thing and maybe getting me some gay correction surgery once this Obamacare mess dies down. I keep telling him Shawty is turning my gay around, but he doesn't really seem convinced. The real confusing part is that he is OTP with my other dad, George. I like George a lot, and I think dad does too, so I'm confused why it's not okay to be like 20-30% gay sometimes. Sometimes I watch Scrubs and I think my dad is JD and George is Turk, and that helps to put it into perspective. If I were on that show, I think I'd be The Todd.

-Taylor

 

[scubasteve]

i approve of this thread as fug

 

[Chris]

wow i just smoked so much kush i'm in a coma hahha i'm not waking up for years hahaha my family is crying haha

 

[Reagan Rayden]

super jealous of this family

 

[Monkey]

 

[Sexual White Chocolate]

I talked to my good doctor friend, Kiera (krexia), today from across the pond. I don't see her much, but she's a pretty cool chick- too smart though, honestly. Apparently she's developed some new app, or at least designed the algorithm for it as well as she met Tom Hiddleston recently. Girl keeps herself occupied. She also sat on my lap once, and I helped get her brother drunk... or more drunk. Whichever. In any case, she again has her laptop working to stay in touch so that's good.


I got a thank you card from Taylor's friends Josh (Narukami) and Shannon (Passion) for getting them hooked up on the family dating site. They're a nice couple of kids and I'm glad I could help with young love. At least not all Taylor's friends are ugly and socially awkward, like that sickly kid and the brown one. I've been working on a project for some time now, directly related to showing the intelligence of the community's debate in a more true light. Shannon has actually helped me with that a bit, which is nice. She's a sweet girl, and it can be hard to do so much work by yourself. She threw some ideas my way and I know I need to get back on that. Our community's debate team is legitimately the worst in the nation, mainly because for some reason it attracts the biggest idiots who also have the biggest mouths. It's a bit depressing. I mean, it's literally so bad that anybody with any real intelligence doesn't even associate themselves with that because of the fear of becoming part of the laughing stock! A society designed for intellectuals spurns away intellectuals because of how retarded the member base is and the difficulties needed to actually get your point across with the group. 100% serious it's worse than the U.S. political environment. I just wish more people realized how awful it is. That's why I toil away. People need to see the light and find the truth, and I'm gonna give it to them.


I'm also still kind of disappointed Breaking Bad is over. I mean, I'm glad it ended well, but now I have nothing to look forward to on Sunday nights when I need to relax before a long week of work. Usually it's a good way to get Taylor to be quiet for an hour, but now I've got to find some new way. Hopefully though Shawty will keep him occupied now, as long as they're not doing each others' nails or something. Then I've got to start worrying again. I swear to God though if I find out they're doing gay shit that's not typical gay relationship type shit, I'm gonna take a sack of oranges to that boy.

 

[Shawty]

Dear Taylor's diary,

I know I probably shouldn't be reading this, let alone write in it, but I really couldn't care less about that. Also I don't have my own diary.
I really like this family, and I am glad I can spend time with them. Everyone has been so nice to me, especially Taylor's dad. I think it's because he thinks his son is gay. To be honest, I have thought so too, myself. I mean, he always invites his friends over when I'm over and when we are alone all he wants to do is paint my nails and watch chick flicks.
At least when his friends are over he wants to play videogames other than Choose Barbie's Wedding Dress.

Something else that's weird is he doesn't even know my real name. He keeps telling me that Shawty is a funny name because it's foreign or something but he never seems to pay attention when I tell him it is not my real name.

Anyway, thank you for listening, Taylor's diary. I had to get it off my chest. I would have gone to Shannon but she's been occupied with Josh. I'm very happy for them, though.

- Julia, the girl with the weird foreign name

 

[Taylor]

Dear Diary,

Shawty wrote in you today. I read it a few times, and I'm getting even more confused!! Everyone thinks I'm gay just because I like playing Barbie games or painting my nails, but I'm just in it for the simpler things in life. Anyway, the worst part is that Shawty wrote that her real name isn't Shawty! I think she's been trying to tell me that in real life, but like I said, she talks kind of funny so I only get every other word. Will have to do more research. Until then, diary, I think it's okay if Shawty keeps writing in you. Every little girl needs a diary. Like me.

-Taylor