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I'll post soon... Sorry, been playing FF13 a lot. My fire/earth ninja will be with us by the end of the day
The Broken Branch (A literate Naruto RP)
- Thread starter Endgame
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but i deleted the battle theme
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2008
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Damn I'm really curious about how you're going to work this out. It's a nice break from the very individual themed Rp's hanging around. Teamwork and all that.
Make sure you make this Rp shine or I'll be that evil ninja who steals your credit card >
Make sure you make this Rp shine or I'll be that evil ninja who steals your credit card >
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2005
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- 35
...
Alright, change of heart.
Chaos, Chasers, I'm gonna let you guys join. But.
You're gonna have to completly rewrite your bios.
Chaser, your character's too much like naruto. Close combat is fine, but you're gonna have to get rid of the part about having masses and masses of chakra.
You also need to put work into fixing up all the spelling and grammer mistakes in your bio. Run a microsoft word spellcheck over it, read through it and make sure it makes sense, ect.
Chaos, your character itself is fine, but there's a LOT of grammar problems in your bio. Namely, missing words everywhere. Make sure it makes sense when we read what you've written.
If you guys get your bios rewritten by the time I post the squad list, and if I'm happy with their condition, you're in.
Alright, change of heart.
Chaos, Chasers, I'm gonna let you guys join. But.
You're gonna have to completly rewrite your bios.
Chaser, your character's too much like naruto. Close combat is fine, but you're gonna have to get rid of the part about having masses and masses of chakra.
You also need to put work into fixing up all the spelling and grammer mistakes in your bio. Run a microsoft word spellcheck over it, read through it and make sure it makes sense, ect.
Chaos, your character itself is fine, but there's a LOT of grammar problems in your bio. Namely, missing words everywhere. Make sure it makes sense when we read what you've written.
If you guys get your bios rewritten by the time I post the squad list, and if I'm happy with their condition, you're in.
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So it's gonna start either tomorrow or wednesday?
Actually, my character doesnt use elemental jutsu so is it ok if i just leave earth up there or should i just put nothing?
Actually, my character doesnt use elemental jutsu so is it ok if i just leave earth up there or should i just put nothing?
Thank you Endgame for giving another chance. I will get right on it sir.
edit: alright endgame I think its decent at least.
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- Joined
- Aug 5, 2005
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Ah sorry peeps. Let me finally put up my character. Imma lazy bastard, I know, but you all still love me, right? ...... RIGHT?!
Codename: Xoac
Appearance: Wearing a dark red skin-tight suit, with brown and black vest over top, along with black ninja pants, Xoac barely looks out of place in Konoha. His mask is pure white with a flicker of red running up the left side. Upon removing his mask, his black hair falls to his eyebrows, covering his neck at the back. His green eyes shine in the daytime, but turn a murky brown at night, or depending on his mood.
Primary Element: Fire
Secondary Element: Earth
Role and Combat Style: Attacker/Commando. Usually the one who doesn't listen to the plan and rushes in, jutsus blazing. On serious occasions though, Xoac is usually the leader of his squad, being surprisingly quick to use his imagination to get a mission done quickly and effectively if something shouldn't work according to plan.
Advantages and Proficiencies: Ninjutsu. Xoac has focused primarily on his elemental jutsus, having a wide variety of tricks up his sleeve.
Weaknesses: Genjutsu, lacks a lot of Taijutsu skills also.
Codename: Xoac
Appearance: Wearing a dark red skin-tight suit, with brown and black vest over top, along with black ninja pants, Xoac barely looks out of place in Konoha. His mask is pure white with a flicker of red running up the left side. Upon removing his mask, his black hair falls to his eyebrows, covering his neck at the back. His green eyes shine in the daytime, but turn a murky brown at night, or depending on his mood.
Primary Element: Fire
Secondary Element: Earth
Role and Combat Style: Attacker/Commando. Usually the one who doesn't listen to the plan and rushes in, jutsus blazing. On serious occasions though, Xoac is usually the leader of his squad, being surprisingly quick to use his imagination to get a mission done quickly and effectively if something shouldn't work according to plan.
Advantages and Proficiencies: Ninjutsu. Xoac has focused primarily on his elemental jutsus, having a wide variety of tricks up his sleeve.
Weaknesses: Genjutsu, lacks a lot of Taijutsu skills also.
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2005
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Chaos, do you understand how a sentance works?
A sentance is self-contained. With the exception of words that refer to previously introduced people, eg: He, She... a sentance should make complete sense on it's own if you read it by itself without reading any of the sentances around it.
Let's take a look at some of your sentances.
"Nor is his accuracy or speed anything to laugh at."
What? Nor? Nor from what? You don't start a new sentance with the word Nor, it's the kinda word you use after a comma.
I told you about that one, but there's one other sentance in you bio like that. You gotta find it and fix it up too.
Apart from that, you've done pretty good, so once you find and fix that up, you're in.
A sentance is self-contained. With the exception of words that refer to previously introduced people, eg: He, She... a sentance should make complete sense on it's own if you read it by itself without reading any of the sentances around it.
Let's take a look at some of your sentances.
"Nor is his accuracy or speed anything to laugh at."
What? Nor? Nor from what? You don't start a new sentance with the word Nor, it's the kinda word you use after a comma.
I told you about that one, but there's one other sentance in you bio like that. You gotta find it and fix it up too.
Apart from that, you've done pretty good, so once you find and fix that up, you're in.
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Uh Am I ever going to get this down right. Lol. Damm I only have until you put it up. *sigh*
I'll get it down right don't you worry Endgame. Off to edit...again
So what day are we looking forward to the RP to start?
So, I'm actually thinking about entering this. It's not too late is it?
Tomorrow?! Cool with me. Cant wait to get this started.
Alright I think its good now. I hope it is. I place the commas where they belong and put a comma near nor. I hope its right. Please tell me it is.
are you serious. I did so am I in Endgame ^^
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2005
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Codename: Senshi
Appearance: Senshi
Mask Appearance: Birdy - Senshi's mask resembles that of a bird. The color of the mask itself including the beak is an off color white or gray with red on the left side of the face in a decorative fashion. On the back part of the head you will find long strands of hair that reach to the collar bone.
Primary Element: Water
Secondary Element: Wind
Role and Combat Style: Close Combat, Stealth, and sometimes Recon. Uses Kenjutsu and various Ninjutsu. The silence of his sword makes him come in handy in stealth missions. His sword also comes in handy when it comes to fighting up close.
Advantages and Proficincies: Left-handed and Speed. It takes speed to be able to maneuver quickly when in a combat situation and that is what he does not lack. He has the ability to move at near impossible speeds. Senshi is a master swordsman. He's difficult to fight because he's left handed, making it harder to read his movements with his katana.
Weaknesses: Genjutsu
Seeing as how Senshi's offense is based around close ranged attacks with his katana, his weakness would most likely be Genjutsu.
Theme Song: Demon Cleaner by Kyuss
Appearance: Senshi
Mask Appearance: Birdy - Senshi's mask resembles that of a bird. The color of the mask itself including the beak is an off color white or gray with red on the left side of the face in a decorative fashion. On the back part of the head you will find long strands of hair that reach to the collar bone.
Primary Element: Water
Secondary Element: Wind
Role and Combat Style: Close Combat, Stealth, and sometimes Recon. Uses Kenjutsu and various Ninjutsu. The silence of his sword makes him come in handy in stealth missions. His sword also comes in handy when it comes to fighting up close.
Advantages and Proficincies: Left-handed and Speed. It takes speed to be able to maneuver quickly when in a combat situation and that is what he does not lack. He has the ability to move at near impossible speeds. Senshi is a master swordsman. He's difficult to fight because he's left handed, making it harder to read his movements with his katana.
Weaknesses: Genjutsu
Seeing as how Senshi's offense is based around close ranged attacks with his katana, his weakness would most likely be Genjutsu.
Theme Song: Demon Cleaner by Kyuss
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I'll improve my grammar. Don't you worry Endgame I'll improve on my grammar okay
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