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Fanfiction ► The Bathroom That Never Was



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Fractured_Heart628

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This is just a one-shot inspired by a sketch I drew a while ago about Demyx and Larxene.

The Bathroom That Never Was

“Hey Marly, do you wanna see something funny today?” Xigbar chuckled.
Marluxia rolled his eyes and sighed, “You know, I don’t like being called Marly. My name is Marluxia not Marly. And, whatever you’re plotting I have no plan to be a part of.”

“Well, you know I can’t pronounce your name and it’s better than me calling you Flower Boy,” Xigbar snickered.
Marluxia rolled his eyes, got off the sofa and headed towards Saix for a mission.

Xigbar bellowed a huge laugh. Everyone else in the room ignored him, except Luxord. The Gambler of Fate sat next to Xigbar. “Why the hardy attitude,” Luxord asked.

Xigbar faced Luxord and smirked as he watched Demyx strumming his sitar,
“Larxene is headed towards the beach today, so she is going to be changing into her bikini.”

Luxord raised an eye brow and asked, “What are you planning? So what, if Larxene’s changing into her bikini, she doesn’t look attractive in it like most girls do. Too me, she looks like a Darkside trying to pass as a Shadow.”
Xigbar’s smile widened, “Precisely, I know how hideous she looks in her bikini.

That’s why I’m going to send Demyx to Xemnas’ bathroom to retrieve toilet paper for the public bathrooms within the castle. After all, you know how much Xemnas has the runs.”

Luxord moved away from Xigbar and gave a grossed-out demeanor, “Xigbar that was too much information even for me and it usually takes a lot to gross me out.”

Xigbar chuckled, “As if, you’d be laughing your pants off once it goes through.”

~~~
Demyx walked down the hall with a defeated stare and said, “Man, I can’t believe they are making me do bathroom duty. I mean, bathroom duty is the worst.”

Demyx pulled out a long list from his pocket and studied the white paper.

“Alright, let’s see what’s first,” Demyx read. “Clean up the Superior’s bathroom,” Demyx finished.

“Alright, that sounds easy enough,” Demyx said as he rolled the list back into his coat pocket.

He stood in front of Xemnas’ bathroom and opened the door. Demyx went over to the toilet and picked up some towels. While, he was gathering the towels, Larxene was getting out of the shower. She pulled a towel down from the rack and dried herself. Larxene then grabbed a yellow bikini with lightning bolts coming out of some clouds and wrapped her hour-glass figure around it.

She stepped out of the shower and onto a white, carpeted mat that was just next to the toilet that Demyx was picking up towels from. “There, that’s the last of them,” Demyx smirked as he got up with the towels wrapped around his arms and not noticing the Savage Nymph.

“Hey, whaddaya think you’re doing?!” Larxene shouted.

Demyx turned around to see Larxene. He dropped the towels and grabbed his stomach. His cheeks filled up like balloons and he went towards the lid of the commode. “Oh my gosh, Larxene, what the heck are you doing in the bathroom!?” Demyx asked as he began to puke inside the already-clean, porcelain toilet.
Larxene placed her arms onto her huge hips and gave an angry expression.

“What am I doing here?! Better yet, why are you here? I just got out of the shower, idiot!” Larxene said.

“I was doing bathroom duty and Xemnas’ bathroom was the first,” Demyx explained while whimpering. “Why are you taking a shower in Xemnas’ tub anyways?”

“Bathroom duty,” Larxene said her voice becoming fiercer as thunder.

“There’s no such thing as bathroom duty, you idiot and by the way, my bathroom is filthy and Xemnas’ bathroom is the only clean one within this boring castle,” Larxene finished.
Demyx screamed as Larxene summoned lightening her hands and called for her knives.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, eight Nobodies were gathered. Xigbar chuckled, “I told you my plan would work, Luxord. And, you doubted me. Heh.”

Luxord sighed, “I still think it was a bad idea. What if Xemnas has to use the bathroom then he’ll turn you into a Dusk.”
Xigbar replied, “There’s no way Xemnas would have to use the bathroom, he’s always stuck sitting on that hard throne or going to the chamber to sleep. He hardly ever comes to his room. Plus, I have Roxas keeping watch.”
Suddenly, Roxas ran down the hall. “The Superior is coming! The Superior is coming!” Roxas yelled as he ran towards them.

All the other Nobodies dispersed from the door like a frightened cattle. Luxord and Xigbar remained at the door, both with flabbergasted looks on their faces. Xemnas came towards the door and commanded the two of them to leave. Xigbar blocked the door not wanting the Superior to find out that his bathroom was probably a disaster, because of Demyx’s puking.
Xemnas pushed Xigbar to the side and opened the door. He entered the bathroom. Xigbar fell to his knees and began to sulk. “Man, I’m toast!” Xigbar complained.

Luxord chuckled, “You may be toast, but I’m actually enjoying this.”
A loud demonic voice bellowed through the door and into the castle, “My bathroom, what happened to my precious bathroom! Demyx and Larxene, get out!”

The door slammed open and the two fled out of the bathroom like a raining thunderstorm passing over a small town. Xemnas rushed out of the bathroom, his usually, uncaring amber eyes were now filled with fire. He glanced at Xigbar and slammed the door. “No. II, I’m going to turn you into a DUSK!”

Xigbar whimpered as he backed away and called for a Dark Corridor to escape this situation.
 

KingdomKey

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This cracked me up from start to finish! ^^ great job!
 

Fractured_Heart628

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If you thought the first one was hilarious than you'll flip out of your chairs for the next. Contains some nudity and total disgustingness. Read at your own risk.

Something that I made a while back at Deviantart

The Bathroom That Never Was
by ~ienzo628

The Bathroom That Never Was

"Larxene, Larxene, put your clothes back on!" Demyx screamed as he knelt on his knees and had his head bobbed into the toilet.

Larxene chuckled, "Not until you confess that you stole my bras and sent them into Monstro's stomach where they got burned. Now, I'm stuck in my bikini, because of you."

She placed her hands onto her large hips. The only thing covering her body was a yellow bikini. The top was enough to cover the nipples and the underwear the place where her private part was. She had her blonde hair pulled into a pony-tail and wore a pair of yellow flipflops. The Savage Nymph smirked as she watched Demyx puking into the porcelain toilet.

The once-clean bathroom was now covered in green sludge. It had been where Demyx had puked. Larxene chuckled as she made a bottle appear out of nowhere. She approached the boy, his mullet and cloak were completely drenched in the sludge.

"Time for your feeding, Demyx," Larxene said.

Demyx rose his head from out of the bowl of the toilet. His eyes bulged out of his sockets as he attempted to get up, but he slipped in the sludge. "Larxene, there's no way I'm going to have any of your disgusting breast milk. It's bad enough you replaced my boots with Nami's shoes."

He pointed towards the blue sandals he had on his feet. Demyx's feet were tearing the fragile fabric of Namine's sandals apart, because of the size of his feet. "Oh come on, Demyx, don't you want to be a big boy," Larxene taunted as she approached the crawling Nobody.

Demyx looked at the girl and screamed, "NO!!!"

***

On the outside, Xemnas was approaching his private bathroom. He had a newspaper of "The World That Never Was Daily Times". He had on his white robe and bunny slippers on. Xemnas stopped dead in his tracks as he saw a huge crowd of his subordinates crowding the door. "What is the meaning of this?!" he ordered.

The group turned their attention to the superior. "Uh Superior, I wasn't expecting to see you here so early in the morning," Roxas said as he was pushed in front of the angry silvernette.

"That's enough out of you, No. XIII," he said as he pushed Roxas out of the way.

"Um Xemmy, I don't think you would want to go there," Xigbar said as he ran in front of Xemnas and blocked the bathroom door.

Xemnas eyed the Free-Shooter and pushed him to the side. He opened the door and went inside the bathroom. His jaw dropped once he saw all the sludge, Larxene in a bikini, and Demyx puking on his now-filthy private bathroom. Everyone gathered at the door. Axel looked down at Roxas as the group of seven placed their ears agains the door. "You should have tried harder, Rox," Axel said.

"Do you think he's yelling?" Lexaeus asked.

"Shesh, who knows," Xigbar whispered back.

"Silent gentlemen, I want to hear them talk," Marluxia interrupted.

"Man, I feel bad for Demyx," Xion sighed.

"I'm just more concerned about all of us," Vexen groaned.

They stepped back as Xemnas opened the door. He had Larxene and Demyx gripped by their shoulders in his rough hands. The two gave a defeated sigh as they escaped. "I guess, the fun's over," Xigbar said as he and five of the other Nobodies left.

Roxas peered into the bathroom. "Whoa, Demyx really lost it. I feel bad that he had to see Larxene in the bikini. Axel, maybe we should have told her that we're the ones responsable for her bras."

Axel dropped his jaw, "Don't be silly, Rox. You know, what Xemnas and Larxene are going to do to us if we do that."

"What?" Roxas asked.

"They are going to make us clean all the bathrooms in Castle Oblivion and the Castle That Never Was," Axel said as he bent down and whispered in Roxas' ear.

Roxas' eyes widen and looked at Axel with a terrified look, "Really?"​
 

Fractured_Heart628

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BTW guys, since the story was a big success. I decided to post it onto my fanfiction account. Here's the link and be sure to leave comments. And, here's a link. Kurstin - FanFiction.Net

It's called the Bathroom That Never Was.
 

KingdomKey

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It still makes me laugh XD will there be more chapters? But thanks for letting us know, i'm sure you will get a few comments, cause it's really good XD
 

Gram

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lol hilarious! XD
...poor demyx.....he'll need therapy.
 

CA59

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Review in-progress.

“My name is Marluxia not Marly. And, whatever you’re plotting I have no plan to be a part of.”

Both of these sentences are run-ons.

Marluxia rolled his eyes, got off the sofa and headed towards Saix for a mission.

This needs better wording, it kinda sounds like you're saying his mission was to head towards Saix.
Too me, she looks like a Darkside trying to pass as a Shadow.”

"Too" should be "to".

So what, if Larxene’s changing into her bikini, she doesn’t look attractive in it like most girls do.

There doesn't need to be a comma after "what".

Xigbar’s smile widened, “Precisely, I know how hideous she looks in her bikini.

That’s why I’m going to send Demyx to Xemnas’ bathroom to retrieve toilet paper for the public bathrooms within the castle. After all, you know how much Xemnas has the runs.”

Not seeing the point of this plan so far. Also, all you needed was a space after "bikini", not to press Enter twice.
 
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