Around the age of fourteen, my life changed forever.
My life was a boring one. Everything was just all too predictable. You knew who was who, how they behaved, what they said and what they did, before it happened. There were no surprises
Until that day.
I remember that day very well, as it was the anniversary of my hero‘s death, assassination, murder, the killing of John Lennon. December 8. And my story starts with one of his songs.
I saw her standing there, staring at me, like she did when she wanted to hug. Her eyes, crystal blue, looking through my eyes, into my soul. A picture is worth a thousand words. Her eyes were worth a million.
But as I hugged, no body met mine. I tripped, almost right through her. Falling to the ground, my friend helped me up.
“Dude, hump the ground on your own time. Class is in halfa minute.”
I didn’t see her again that day until the very end of school… Standing next to herself. I was afraid to hug her, what if I hugged the wrong one, and fell again? I’d look like an idiot.
But more importantly, why were there two of her in the first place?
I was the only one who could see the both of them. It must’ve been something wrong with me, I thought.
And when I walked home, ‘she’ followed me home instead of taking the bus as ‘she’ usually does.
When I got home, finally, I threw my stuff to the floor, turned around, shouting at her, what are you? She obviously wasn’t my girlfriend.
She didn’t respond, only walking off into the distance, out of sight, and out of mind.
Later that night, while watching House, a medical TV show, it hit me. I was experiencing hallucinations.
“Hallucinations,” she said, appearing from nowhere.
Then she took the topic even more out of hand.
“What do you think the ‘real me’ really thinks of you?”
I told her ‘she’ thought I was perfect, the words ‘she’ had told me the day before.
“You’d be surprised. Next time you talk to ‘me’, look at my eyes, and tell me that you can still say you’re right.”
“You know how lucky we both are, that we found each other?”
Extremely, I told her, as I stared into her eyes, as ‘she’ told me to.
So far, nothing.
“I love you so much,” she said in our embrace.
That was when I saw it. My eyes locked on to it like a sniper does his target.
As she said those words, her eyes her eyes glinted and looked astray. That simple flick of the eye told me that she was lying when she said that.
Sorry, I said, I have to go.
“See what I mean?” ‘she’ said, when I got back to my house.
No, what was her point?
“That she doesn’t really love you. It’s a body language trick. That eye thing? You know that she does it because she’s lying.”
And even though I knew that it was true, I hated what ‘she’ was saying.
I broke up with her the next day. She felt no remorse.
I’d always had a need to have a feeling of being unique. To be the minority was my need. And now, I really had something to set me apart.
I didn’t have any more visions for a week. I had at one point thought they had stopped, I remember sitting in the bathroom, wondering what happened, why, when I finally was unique, it had to go and be taken away from me? But the next day proved me wrong.
My best friend. I’ve known him since Kindergarten, when we were younger, and the most complicated thing we had to think about was what color we were going to color in the scarecrow’s hat.
‘He’ came to me in the morning, asking, almost mockingly, as I was leaving for school,
“Now, what could I be hiding from you?” He wondered aloud.
That day, I observed his every move. He twitched his neck, I saw it. If he scratched his face, I saw it. But he did nothing when I spoke to him. No hidden tricks. No body-language cover-ups.
Not until lunch. He held his assignment notebook awfully close to his body, as though there were something to hide within it. When he left to get a lunch, I looked through it. And the final page wrote out a symphony of sympathy for me.
“Heyy! I can’t wait til he breaks up with me. Then, I get to spend all my time with youu
Love you!”
She wrote it.
When he got back, I asked him what the heck that note was about. When he looked at me in shock and disbelief, I knew that he was hiding something from me.
As he dropped his jaw, I punched it back into place for him. It was his fault.
“Suspended!? FOR A MONTH!?” My dad barked.
You don’t know why I did it.
“There is no reason to do something like that!! HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND!!”
But he-
“BUT NOTHING!!” he glanced away, then back to me, like parents do when they try and make the fight ‘cheerier’. “You know we love you, but-”
“You are a worthless, petty dog!” screamed the second ‘dad’.
“If anything at all is going on-”
“Forget about it, suck it up, and GET A LIFE!!”
“You can tell your mother and I anything, you know-”
“That you are a worthless mongrel!”
“Hey, are you O.K?”
I held my head in pain, as I collapsed to the floor, screaming in confusion.
A white room. Nothing in it, at all. Asides from me, and behind me, me.
“You’re in the hospital,” I said.
What happened?
“You had a mental disease, that caused the hallucinations, caused this, caused me.”
What are you saying?
“Well… You’re dying. And the second you wake up, that’s what they’re going to tell you. They’ll give you a shot, to help with the pain, but… You’re dead no matter what.”
But if I die, don’t you die too?
“Ha,” I laughed. “Not nearly.”
What do you mean?
“You’ll see.”
And why are you telling me this?
“Because… There is another option.”
“Doctor, he’s up!”
“Ah, yes, now, we are going to give you a sedative, please hold still.”
NO!
I crawled (more like flew) out of my hospital bed, onto the floor.
Do it.
I looked at myself, as I pulled out a gun, and smirked. And in just another second, it was all over.
TIME OF DEATH:
10:34
CAUSE:
BRAIN TUMOR (UNDETECTED)
My name is the last remainder of my sanity. In the afterlife, it’s all I have. No one else, not the dead… Just me. My name is…
The author is dead
My life was a boring one. Everything was just all too predictable. You knew who was who, how they behaved, what they said and what they did, before it happened. There were no surprises
Until that day.
I remember that day very well, as it was the anniversary of my hero‘s death, assassination, murder, the killing of John Lennon. December 8. And my story starts with one of his songs.
I saw her standing there, staring at me, like she did when she wanted to hug. Her eyes, crystal blue, looking through my eyes, into my soul. A picture is worth a thousand words. Her eyes were worth a million.
But as I hugged, no body met mine. I tripped, almost right through her. Falling to the ground, my friend helped me up.
“Dude, hump the ground on your own time. Class is in halfa minute.”
I didn’t see her again that day until the very end of school… Standing next to herself. I was afraid to hug her, what if I hugged the wrong one, and fell again? I’d look like an idiot.
But more importantly, why were there two of her in the first place?
I was the only one who could see the both of them. It must’ve been something wrong with me, I thought.
And when I walked home, ‘she’ followed me home instead of taking the bus as ‘she’ usually does.
When I got home, finally, I threw my stuff to the floor, turned around, shouting at her, what are you? She obviously wasn’t my girlfriend.
She didn’t respond, only walking off into the distance, out of sight, and out of mind.
Later that night, while watching House, a medical TV show, it hit me. I was experiencing hallucinations.
“Hallucinations,” she said, appearing from nowhere.
Then she took the topic even more out of hand.
“What do you think the ‘real me’ really thinks of you?”
I told her ‘she’ thought I was perfect, the words ‘she’ had told me the day before.
“You’d be surprised. Next time you talk to ‘me’, look at my eyes, and tell me that you can still say you’re right.”
“You know how lucky we both are, that we found each other?”
Extremely, I told her, as I stared into her eyes, as ‘she’ told me to.
So far, nothing.
“I love you so much,” she said in our embrace.
That was when I saw it. My eyes locked on to it like a sniper does his target.
As she said those words, her eyes her eyes glinted and looked astray. That simple flick of the eye told me that she was lying when she said that.
Sorry, I said, I have to go.
“See what I mean?” ‘she’ said, when I got back to my house.
No, what was her point?
“That she doesn’t really love you. It’s a body language trick. That eye thing? You know that she does it because she’s lying.”
And even though I knew that it was true, I hated what ‘she’ was saying.
I broke up with her the next day. She felt no remorse.
I’d always had a need to have a feeling of being unique. To be the minority was my need. And now, I really had something to set me apart.
I didn’t have any more visions for a week. I had at one point thought they had stopped, I remember sitting in the bathroom, wondering what happened, why, when I finally was unique, it had to go and be taken away from me? But the next day proved me wrong.
My best friend. I’ve known him since Kindergarten, when we were younger, and the most complicated thing we had to think about was what color we were going to color in the scarecrow’s hat.
‘He’ came to me in the morning, asking, almost mockingly, as I was leaving for school,
“Now, what could I be hiding from you?” He wondered aloud.
That day, I observed his every move. He twitched his neck, I saw it. If he scratched his face, I saw it. But he did nothing when I spoke to him. No hidden tricks. No body-language cover-ups.
Not until lunch. He held his assignment notebook awfully close to his body, as though there were something to hide within it. When he left to get a lunch, I looked through it. And the final page wrote out a symphony of sympathy for me.
“Heyy! I can’t wait til he breaks up with me. Then, I get to spend all my time with youu
She wrote it.
When he got back, I asked him what the heck that note was about. When he looked at me in shock and disbelief, I knew that he was hiding something from me.
As he dropped his jaw, I punched it back into place for him. It was his fault.
“Suspended!? FOR A MONTH!?” My dad barked.
You don’t know why I did it.
“There is no reason to do something like that!! HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND!!”
But he-
“BUT NOTHING!!” he glanced away, then back to me, like parents do when they try and make the fight ‘cheerier’. “You know we love you, but-”
“You are a worthless, petty dog!” screamed the second ‘dad’.
“If anything at all is going on-”
“Forget about it, suck it up, and GET A LIFE!!”
“You can tell your mother and I anything, you know-”
“That you are a worthless mongrel!”
“Hey, are you O.K?”
I held my head in pain, as I collapsed to the floor, screaming in confusion.
A white room. Nothing in it, at all. Asides from me, and behind me, me.
“You’re in the hospital,” I said.
What happened?
“You had a mental disease, that caused the hallucinations, caused this, caused me.”
What are you saying?
“Well… You’re dying. And the second you wake up, that’s what they’re going to tell you. They’ll give you a shot, to help with the pain, but… You’re dead no matter what.”
But if I die, don’t you die too?
“Ha,” I laughed. “Not nearly.”
What do you mean?
“You’ll see.”
And why are you telling me this?
“Because… There is another option.”
“Doctor, he’s up!”
“Ah, yes, now, we are going to give you a sedative, please hold still.”
NO!
I crawled (more like flew) out of my hospital bed, onto the floor.
Do it.
I looked at myself, as I pulled out a gun, and smirked. And in just another second, it was all over.
TIME OF DEATH:
10:34
CAUSE:
BRAIN TUMOR (UNDETECTED)
My name is the last remainder of my sanity. In the afterlife, it’s all I have. No one else, not the dead… Just me. My name is…
The author is dead