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That Angel.



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kurokitsunefang

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Each morning I can still hear her, the Fawn in my headlights.
The sound of her chest deflating, dirges in the distance.
The feeling of Courage, I couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop.
Her life lay upon mine, her cries in my skull.
Her angelic figure with crimson wings spread across the pavement.
One second was all it took – Now I give my life for hers.
I won’t forget, can’t forget - for her sake.

I wrote this as a person reflecting on a drunken car crash, from the driver's perspective. Have at it fellas, and criticism is appreciated.
 

Annoyance

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Each morning I can still hear her, the Fawn in my headlights.
The sound of her chest deflating, dirges in the distance.
The feeling of Courage, I couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop.
Her life lay upon mine, her cries in my skull.
Her angelic figure with crimson wings spread across the pavement.
One second was all it took – Now I give my life for hers.
I won’t forget, can’t forget - for her sake.

I wrote this as a person reflecting on a drunken car crash, from the driver's perspective. Have at it fellas, and criticism is appreciated.
This was pretty good. I really liked the angel wings part. Very short, though.
 
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BriFTW

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Surprisingly, this poem is better than some fanfics I've read recently.
 
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BriFTW

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Whatever.

I give this a 9.5/10, but ONLY because I know a SUPER good poem writer. He could easily pass as a pro lol
 
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