That Angel.

[kurokitsunefang]

Each morning I can still hear her, the Fawn in my headlights.
The sound of her chest deflating, dirges in the distance.
The feeling of Courage, I couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop.
Her life lay upon mine, her cries in my skull.
Her angelic figure with crimson wings spread across the pavement.
One second was all it took – Now I give my life for hers.
I won’t forget, can’t forget - for her sake.

I wrote this as a person reflecting on a drunken car crash, from the driver's perspective. Have at it fellas, and criticism is appreciated.

 

[Annoyance]

Each morning I can still hear her, the Fawn in my headlights.
The sound of her chest deflating, dirges in the distance.
The feeling of Courage, I couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop.
Her life lay upon mine, her cries in my skull.
Her angelic figure with crimson wings spread across the pavement.
One second was all it took – Now I give my life for hers.
I won’t forget, can’t forget - for her sake.

I wrote this as a person reflecting on a drunken car crash, from the driver's perspective. Have at it fellas, and criticism is appreciated.

This was pretty good. I really liked the angel wings part. Very short, though.

 

[BriFTW]

Surprisingly, this poem is better than some fanfics I've read recently.

 

[Annoyance]

Surprisingly, this poem is better than some fanfics I've read recently.

...why are you judging a poem in comparison to a fanfiction? That's retarded.

 

[BriFTW]

Whatever.

I give this a 9.5/10, but ONLY because I know a SUPER good poem writer. He could easily pass as a pro lol

 

[King Sora X]

You know, this was really good. And the message sent through it is just inspiring . I honestly love it

 

[Nojerom]

I actually like this a lot. I'm not one for much poetry reading unless it's really good. and I like this.