Since I really enjoyed writing my entry for the Halloween-contest, I decided to start a series on the concept.
"Tales from the Pride Lands" will be a series in episode form, which takes place a few months after "The lion King 2 - Simbas Pride".
I hope everyone who's reading this has fun. If not, you're Kovu.
Episode 1 – King Kovu
It was another majestic morning, when Simba walked up to the top of the Prides rock and roared to welcome the new day. He looked down on his land and saw his whole folk sleeping in the dawn. After a moment he roared again even louder and looked down again. Everyone was still sleeping peacfully with their loved ones. "Now wake the fuck uuuup! I don't get up every morning to roar so you can sleep, while I'm sleepy taking a risk of falling down from this god damn rock!" Simba screamed and breathed heavily. Everyone woke up and was trying to stand up, without falling in sleep again. Simba yawned and went back inside his cave to Nala.
Together with the other lions, Kiara and Kovu stood up and were starting their morning routine.
"Come on, Kovu! The gazelles won't hunt themselves!"
"Fortunately, otherwise we got nothing to hunt!
Kiara stopped running in the savannah and looked back to Kovu. "We just woke up. Don't already be yourself", she said and sighed, before running towards the savannah again. Kovu lowered his head and followed her saddened.
It didn't take Kiara long to find some gazelles in the grass and get in position. "Ssh, Kovu. There they are." She whispered to him. Kovu nodded and was staring at one of the them. "I will take this one on the right." Kovu whispered and bared his teeth. "Oh, the little weak one? Okay, then I'll take the huge one on the front. This way we have equal opponents, fair thinking." Kiara answered and bared her teeth, too. The gazelles continued eating and were turning their backs to Kiara and Kovu after a while. "Go!" Kovu yelled and jumped out of the grass. The gazelles ran away immediately and left nothing but a small place without any grass. “Wow, they are fast” Kovu said suprised and looked after the escaped prey. “No, you just don't scream something when you try to catch something.” Kiara said disappointed. “Sorry, Kiara. But don't worry, once I'm the King of the Pride Lands, our children will hunt our food!” Kovu said proudly and smiled at Kiara.
“Are you talking about children, Kovu?!” Simba screamed from the Pride Rock, which was a mile away.
“Oh my god, your dad can hear this far?”
“No. but he hears everything when about me getting babies. From you.”
“Why are you still talking about babies?! What is going on there?!” Simba kept screaming through the whole Pride Lands. Kovu tried to see Simba, but he couldn't even see the whole Pride Rock itself.
“Wanna go home, Kovu? I'm sure the other lions will catch something.” Kiara said and went back to the Pride Rock. Kovu just stood there and looked at his girlfriend running back home. “Kiara.....I...I didn't say yes. Why are you always asking rhetorical questions...”
When Kiara & Kovu arrived, Simba was already waiting for them and didn't look really happy.
“Hey dad!”
“Hey. Why did you two talk about children?”
“Oh no, Kovu just said that once he's king of the Pride Lands, our children will hunt for us and we don't have to do it by ourselves anymore.” Kiara said and made Simba look really confused.
“Ehm, okay. I don't really get how Kovu becomes king in this timeline, but okay, as long as it is a story.”
“Hey, what do you mean by that?” Kovu said and looked angrily at Simba.
“I mean that you don't have what it takes, to be king of the Pride Lands.”
“How could you know that? You never gave me a chance!”
“Yeah, that's why we're still alive. See? I'm a good king.”
“That's not fair! I can do everything that you can do!
"Oh, really?"
"Yes!"
"Fine! If you're such a great king and can do everything I've done, then I'll accept you as my successor. Do you get that?”
Kovu nodded obviously suprised and tried to realize that Simba just listened to him. Simba turned Kovu his back and walked back into his cave. “I'll see you tomorrow, Kovu. Be ready for an experience you won't ever forget. Just like I did.” He said loud enough for Kovu to hear it. Kiara started jumping around her boyfriend and said: “That was great, Kovu! My dad will finally accept you!” “Yes! I can't believe it, but I won't disappoint you or Simba! You can count on me!” Kovu said enthusiastic.
At the next morning, Kovu already sat outside of Simba's cave and was waiting for him to wake up. Dozy, Simba came out and walked by Kovu. “Good morning, sir!” Kovu said so loud and proud, that Simba winced.
“Holy shit, Kovu! What are you doing here?!”
“You said we would meet today, so I've been waiting here for a hour.”
“Oh and you thought that I would be in a much better mood, when you are the first thing I see?”
“No, but...”
“Let me roar that no one here has a good morning and then I'll test you. Won't take too long.”, He said and walked up the Pride Rock to do his morning routine. Kovu just stood there and prepared himself, he didn't want to disappoint Kiara. Again. Like always. When Simba came back to him, he tried not to do something that would annoy him. Simba walked some meters with him and sat down. “Listen, Kovu. What ,do you think, does a king need most?”
“Ehm, love?”
“Neither Kiara or Nala are here, answer my question.”
“I mean, you need a strong heart and will. You must offer yourself for your people and protect the ones you love.”
“Oh boy, this is gonna be a loooong day.”, Simba sighed and shook his head.
“Okay, first: You need to find your puppy love and have a great time!”
“Puppy love?”
“Yes, I was a kid when I played with Nala and now we're the cutest couple on the Pride Rock until Kiara finds a new friend.”
“So, you want me to have a great time with my puppy love?” Kovu asked sceptical. Simba nodded and answered: “Yes, I'll give you a few hours for that. This way we can do every challenge today.” Kovu accepted and walked away, while Simba just looked after him.
“My puppy love...what could he mean by that. I didn't really know Kiara when I was a child, the only one I know is....oh, right!” Kovu said to himself and walked up to Vitani, who just lay in the sunlight and was dozing. “Hey, Vitani! How are you?” He greeted her. She looked at him and was visibly confused what he wanted. “Hey, Kovu. I'm fine, why are you asking?”
“Well, I just wanted to spend some time with you?”
“What?”
“You know..I always really liked you when we were children.”
“Wait, did Kiara break up with you?”
“No, but I just wanted to spend some time with you. I mean I still like you, so...”
“Kovu, what the fuck are doing?!” Simba screamed from his cave and ran in his direction. Kovu pulled his tail between his legs and prayed to Mufasa.
“What. Was. That?!”
“M..my puppy love...y..you said...”
“Oh, you thought I would give you the challenge to cheat on my daughter, right?”
“Actually...yes.”
“The fuck is wrong with you?! I was talking about playing with your girlfriend like you were children again! You're not a puppy anymore, did you ever notice that?!”
“Y...yes, sir.”
“So what was that?!”
“M...my fault?”
“Your fault, right! Failed! Time for the secound challenge to be king, the dead father!”
“Ehm, Simba?” Vitani said and raised her paw.
“Where is that bastard?! Under that rock? Under the sea?”, Simba kept screaming and was looking for a male lion. “We don't know who Kovu's father is. But he's probably already dead.” Vitani continued in a moment where Simba was taking a breath. Kovu just kept sitting there without making any noise. Simba stopped for a moment and looked to Vitani. “Oh. Really?” “Really.”, Vitani repeated.
“Hm. Okay, you passed the secound challenge. Congratulations Kovu.”
“Thanks. I guess...”
“Let's move on to the third challenge.”, Simba said and smiled at Kovu.
“And that is...?”
“Run, Kovu. Run and never come back.”
“Are you seriou...”
“Run!” Simba roared at him that Kovu instantly started running away from the Pride Rock. Simba and Vitani just sat there and watched him run away.
“Kill him.”
“No.”
“Oooh...” Simba said disappointed and lowered his head while going home.
Three hours later, Kovu didn't know where he was. He was starving and really tired from running away.
“I can't believe Simba actually did that..does he hate me so mu..”
“Failed!”,imba said from behind Kovu and interrupted his self-talk.
“Simba?! What are you doing here?!”
“I'm here to tell you that you failed your third challenge. This place is not even close to Timon & Pumbaa.”
“Timon & Pumbaa? Wait, how am I supposed to know that?””
“Feel it or fail it and we both know what you did.”
“Oh man...I thought I was so good in running away.” Kovu sighed and looked up to Simba.
“Now follow me to Timon & Pumbaa, your fourth challenge will take place there.” Simba said and walked away with Kovu. “Are we there yet?” “Oh, don't even start with that!” Simba yelled at Kovu and made him shut up for the rest of the whole way. After a while both arrived at Simbas old oasis, were Timon & Pumbaa were already waiting. “Welcome you two! Isn't it nostalgic, Simba? You, me, Pumbaa...” “A Bug.”, Simba added to Timons sentence. “And that's the keyword! Kovu, Simba told me that you're doing challenges to become a real king, right?” Timon asked him. “Yes.” “Perfect! Welcome to your fourth challenge, eating like a king.” Simba started laughing when Timon finished his sentence. “Oh, this is gonna be good.” He said and laid back to enjoy.
Timon lifted a small tree trunk and picked up some slimy bugs. "Here we go!", He said and ate some. Kovu was disguted and looked sceptical to Simba. "I don't get how I'll become a better King when I eat these things." "Well, I won't let you become one until you eat them." "But why?" "Because, bitch I am king.", Simba said and relaxed. Kovu looked back to Timon and his bugs, he really didn't want to eat them, but he remembered that he made a promise to Kiara.
"Okay, I'll do it.", he said and walked next to Timon to sit down. "It's time, Pumbaa. Bring in the centipede!" Timon shouted and introduced Pumbaa who came in with a huge centipede all over his nose.” Simba was smiling all over his face while Kovu was just disgusted and tried to think about Kiara.
“Heeeeeere it is!”
“Thank you, Pumbaa! And now leeeeeet's get started!” Timon laid the bug in front of Kovu and looked at him expactantly. He started smelling the bug and nearly puked.
“Ew, that smells awful! Is this thing even alive?”
“Of course. Look, it's trying to get away.”
“Oh shit it's moving!”
“And it's fast! Now hurry, Kovu. Once it runs away, you'll fail the test.” Timon explained to him.
Kovu closed both of his eyes and jumped on the bug. He slashed it with his claws and ate the biggest part of the pieces.
“That is...” Kovu started saying while chewing. “...actually really good! It tastes like chicken!” he said and ate the rest of it. “See!” Timon celebrated and looked over to Simba. “More like slimey and satisfying, but okay. You passed the fourth challenge, time for the fifth. Kiara!” Simba shouted right before Kiara jumped out of a thicket and landed on Kovu.
“K..Kiara?”
“Hey there!”
“Aaaaaand you passed the fifth challenge. Getting nailed by your true love.” Simba said and stood up.
“What now, Simba?”
“It's time for some love.”
“In front of you?”
“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?! Holy shit, no! I mean a song!”
“Oh that's easy, we already got one. In Upeendiiii..”
“Kovu. The ape sang your song and we should leave it at that. I'm talking about my song.”
“You've got a song?”
“Of course. Can you feel the love tonight.”
“Yes.”
“......”
“Dad, your nose is bleeding!” Kiara interrupted the conversation.
“Yea yea...it's just...I wanna save myself from brain damage, so you just failed this one.”
Kovu lowered his head and looked embarrassed at Kiara. He felt really bad after eating the bug and now failing at something like that. “Kovu, you passed and failed 3 challenges. There is one left and that will decide your future.” Simba said and looked down at him.
“And..that is?”
“You have to face the lion king in a fight...to the death!”
“Daddy!”
“I mean a fight. Just a regular fight.” Simba corrected himself and bent his mouth next to Kovus ear. “Dying is still an option.” He whispered and turned back. “Meet me on the top of my cave, I'll be waiting.”
Kovu was distraught and scared how this fight would end. At this point there was no going back, so he had no other choice.
“Are you ready, Kovu? Now it gets serious!” Kiara said excited and ran back to the Pride Lands.
“Kiara.....you're still asking these rhetorical questions.”
When Kovu arrived, Kiara was waiting next to her dad.
“Hey Kovu! Here I am! Can you see me?” Kiara yelled from 10 meters away.
“You spend definitly too much time with him.”, Simba said and walked towards Kovu. The sky was getting darker and darker while it started to rain. “Are you ready, Kovu?” He asked and went in position. Kovu nodded and made himself ready to attack. “Wait!” A voice shouted from the sky. Everyone looked into the sky and saw how the clouds were gathering and Mufasa appeared.
“Kovu. Simba. You two are not supposed to fight against each other.”, he said and made Simba think about what he has done.
“May..maybe you're right father. Maybe I was...”
“Not until Scar is here to see what sides does win! The bright light or the dark side with ugly marks on their faces.” Mufasa interrupted his son. The clouds next to Mufasa started gathering, too and Scar appeared as a huge ghost.
“Finally, you're here!”
“You know, it's a longer way from hell up to the sky as from the heaven down to the .....sky? You live here, right?”
“Aw you got me! Haha”
“Hey! We have something to do down here!” Simba yelled and looked angry at the ghosts. Mufasa and Scar stopped talking and started watching the two lions. Kovu bared his teeth and prepared himself to jump on Simba. Simba smiled and started making a countdown.
“Alright, Kovu. Three, two, one...g..” before he could finish the countdown, Kovu jumped and was close to Simbas face. Simba pimpslaped him with his right paw all over the ground, until the slope. “Simba Roll 2.0!”, he screamed and charged at Kovu. Kovu was flying through the whole air like a ping pong ball in an asian world tournament and holy shit, you know what that looks like. I can't even describe what Simba does to Kovu, just try to imagine it and then something even more hurtful.
“Haha holy shit, do you see how my son fucks up your son? Haha”
“Kovu is not my son.”
“Haha, you sound exactly like a loserdad.”, Mufasa laughed.
After a while Kovu fell down and Simba stopped attacking him.
“Looks like I have to start looking for the Dragon Balls, because it looks like I'll need immortality.” Simba said and looked at Kovu laying on the ground.
“Kovu!” Kiara yelled and ran to him.
“Are you okay?!”
“Eeeh....”
“You're alive!”
“Eeeeeh....”
“You can't imagine the pain I've got thinking about losing you!”
“......eeeh.”
“And now...I really want children with you! Kovu, I love you!”
“Eh.”
“Eh? What's that supposed to mean?”
“Aah...eeh.”
“Don...don't you love me, too?”
“I....I...”
“If you have to think so long before answering my question, I know the answer! You're such an asshole!” Kiara cried and ran away. Simba walked up to Kovu and sat down.
“You know, Kiara will come down. At the very least when I tell her that you can't talk right now. I mean I could have done that before she was running away, but I really like to see my daughter yelling at you.” He said.
“To be honest, I think you would be a great lion king.”
“Eeh..?”
“Yes. Just not here.”
“That's something, I guess.” Kovu thought to himself and closed his eyes to sleep and recover.
“Looks like this is over and I fucking won!” Mufasa said and laughed in Scar's face before he started to disappear again. Scar's ghost was looking away annoyed and started to disappear, too.
At the next morning Kovu wake up with his whole body hurting. “Ouch...at least I can talk again.” He said to himself and tried to stand up. When he was turning himself, he saw Kiara coming up to him. “Hey Kovu.”
“Kiara, I'm so sor...”
“It's okay, dad told me about everything. I know now what you said.”
“Re..really? So you want babys now?”
“Well....I know what you actually said yesterday, but...your groaning killed my babymood.”
“You mean...for now?”
“Forever.”
When Simba walked up to the top of the Pride Rock and wanted to roar, he heard from the top of his cave a loud “Noooooooooooo.” that woke up everybody in the Pride Lands. Simba smiled and looked up in the sky. “Everything right. I've done eve-ry-thing right!”, he said to himself and laughed into the next day.
"Tales from the Pride Lands" will be a series in episode form, which takes place a few months after "The lion King 2 - Simbas Pride".
I hope everyone who's reading this has fun. If not, you're Kovu.
Episode 1 – King Kovu
It was another majestic morning, when Simba walked up to the top of the Prides rock and roared to welcome the new day. He looked down on his land and saw his whole folk sleeping in the dawn. After a moment he roared again even louder and looked down again. Everyone was still sleeping peacfully with their loved ones. "Now wake the fuck uuuup! I don't get up every morning to roar so you can sleep, while I'm sleepy taking a risk of falling down from this god damn rock!" Simba screamed and breathed heavily. Everyone woke up and was trying to stand up, without falling in sleep again. Simba yawned and went back inside his cave to Nala.
Together with the other lions, Kiara and Kovu stood up and were starting their morning routine.
"Come on, Kovu! The gazelles won't hunt themselves!"
"Fortunately, otherwise we got nothing to hunt!
Kiara stopped running in the savannah and looked back to Kovu. "We just woke up. Don't already be yourself", she said and sighed, before running towards the savannah again. Kovu lowered his head and followed her saddened.
It didn't take Kiara long to find some gazelles in the grass and get in position. "Ssh, Kovu. There they are." She whispered to him. Kovu nodded and was staring at one of the them. "I will take this one on the right." Kovu whispered and bared his teeth. "Oh, the little weak one? Okay, then I'll take the huge one on the front. This way we have equal opponents, fair thinking." Kiara answered and bared her teeth, too. The gazelles continued eating and were turning their backs to Kiara and Kovu after a while. "Go!" Kovu yelled and jumped out of the grass. The gazelles ran away immediately and left nothing but a small place without any grass. “Wow, they are fast” Kovu said suprised and looked after the escaped prey. “No, you just don't scream something when you try to catch something.” Kiara said disappointed. “Sorry, Kiara. But don't worry, once I'm the King of the Pride Lands, our children will hunt our food!” Kovu said proudly and smiled at Kiara.
“Are you talking about children, Kovu?!” Simba screamed from the Pride Rock, which was a mile away.
“Oh my god, your dad can hear this far?”
“No. but he hears everything when about me getting babies. From you.”
“Why are you still talking about babies?! What is going on there?!” Simba kept screaming through the whole Pride Lands. Kovu tried to see Simba, but he couldn't even see the whole Pride Rock itself.
“Wanna go home, Kovu? I'm sure the other lions will catch something.” Kiara said and went back to the Pride Rock. Kovu just stood there and looked at his girlfriend running back home. “Kiara.....I...I didn't say yes. Why are you always asking rhetorical questions...”
When Kiara & Kovu arrived, Simba was already waiting for them and didn't look really happy.
“Hey dad!”
“Hey. Why did you two talk about children?”
“Oh no, Kovu just said that once he's king of the Pride Lands, our children will hunt for us and we don't have to do it by ourselves anymore.” Kiara said and made Simba look really confused.
“Ehm, okay. I don't really get how Kovu becomes king in this timeline, but okay, as long as it is a story.”
“Hey, what do you mean by that?” Kovu said and looked angrily at Simba.
“I mean that you don't have what it takes, to be king of the Pride Lands.”
“How could you know that? You never gave me a chance!”
“Yeah, that's why we're still alive. See? I'm a good king.”
“That's not fair! I can do everything that you can do!
"Oh, really?"
"Yes!"
"Fine! If you're such a great king and can do everything I've done, then I'll accept you as my successor. Do you get that?”
Kovu nodded obviously suprised and tried to realize that Simba just listened to him. Simba turned Kovu his back and walked back into his cave. “I'll see you tomorrow, Kovu. Be ready for an experience you won't ever forget. Just like I did.” He said loud enough for Kovu to hear it. Kiara started jumping around her boyfriend and said: “That was great, Kovu! My dad will finally accept you!” “Yes! I can't believe it, but I won't disappoint you or Simba! You can count on me!” Kovu said enthusiastic.
At the next morning, Kovu already sat outside of Simba's cave and was waiting for him to wake up. Dozy, Simba came out and walked by Kovu. “Good morning, sir!” Kovu said so loud and proud, that Simba winced.
“Holy shit, Kovu! What are you doing here?!”
“You said we would meet today, so I've been waiting here for a hour.”
“Oh and you thought that I would be in a much better mood, when you are the first thing I see?”
“No, but...”
“Let me roar that no one here has a good morning and then I'll test you. Won't take too long.”, He said and walked up the Pride Rock to do his morning routine. Kovu just stood there and prepared himself, he didn't want to disappoint Kiara. Again. Like always. When Simba came back to him, he tried not to do something that would annoy him. Simba walked some meters with him and sat down. “Listen, Kovu. What ,do you think, does a king need most?”
“Ehm, love?”
“Neither Kiara or Nala are here, answer my question.”
“I mean, you need a strong heart and will. You must offer yourself for your people and protect the ones you love.”
“Oh boy, this is gonna be a loooong day.”, Simba sighed and shook his head.
“Okay, first: You need to find your puppy love and have a great time!”
“Puppy love?”
“Yes, I was a kid when I played with Nala and now we're the cutest couple on the Pride Rock until Kiara finds a new friend.”
“So, you want me to have a great time with my puppy love?” Kovu asked sceptical. Simba nodded and answered: “Yes, I'll give you a few hours for that. This way we can do every challenge today.” Kovu accepted and walked away, while Simba just looked after him.
“My puppy love...what could he mean by that. I didn't really know Kiara when I was a child, the only one I know is....oh, right!” Kovu said to himself and walked up to Vitani, who just lay in the sunlight and was dozing. “Hey, Vitani! How are you?” He greeted her. She looked at him and was visibly confused what he wanted. “Hey, Kovu. I'm fine, why are you asking?”
“Well, I just wanted to spend some time with you?”
“What?”
“You know..I always really liked you when we were children.”
“Wait, did Kiara break up with you?”
“No, but I just wanted to spend some time with you. I mean I still like you, so...”
“Kovu, what the fuck are doing?!” Simba screamed from his cave and ran in his direction. Kovu pulled his tail between his legs and prayed to Mufasa.
“What. Was. That?!”
“M..my puppy love...y..you said...”
“Oh, you thought I would give you the challenge to cheat on my daughter, right?”
“Actually...yes.”
“The fuck is wrong with you?! I was talking about playing with your girlfriend like you were children again! You're not a puppy anymore, did you ever notice that?!”
“Y...yes, sir.”
“So what was that?!”
“M...my fault?”
“Your fault, right! Failed! Time for the secound challenge to be king, the dead father!”
“Ehm, Simba?” Vitani said and raised her paw.
“Where is that bastard?! Under that rock? Under the sea?”, Simba kept screaming and was looking for a male lion. “We don't know who Kovu's father is. But he's probably already dead.” Vitani continued in a moment where Simba was taking a breath. Kovu just kept sitting there without making any noise. Simba stopped for a moment and looked to Vitani. “Oh. Really?” “Really.”, Vitani repeated.
“Hm. Okay, you passed the secound challenge. Congratulations Kovu.”
“Thanks. I guess...”
“Let's move on to the third challenge.”, Simba said and smiled at Kovu.
“And that is...?”
“Run, Kovu. Run and never come back.”
“Are you seriou...”
“Run!” Simba roared at him that Kovu instantly started running away from the Pride Rock. Simba and Vitani just sat there and watched him run away.
“Kill him.”
“No.”
“Oooh...” Simba said disappointed and lowered his head while going home.
Three hours later, Kovu didn't know where he was. He was starving and really tired from running away.
“I can't believe Simba actually did that..does he hate me so mu..”
“Failed!”,imba said from behind Kovu and interrupted his self-talk.
“Simba?! What are you doing here?!”
“I'm here to tell you that you failed your third challenge. This place is not even close to Timon & Pumbaa.”
“Timon & Pumbaa? Wait, how am I supposed to know that?””
“Feel it or fail it and we both know what you did.”
“Oh man...I thought I was so good in running away.” Kovu sighed and looked up to Simba.
“Now follow me to Timon & Pumbaa, your fourth challenge will take place there.” Simba said and walked away with Kovu. “Are we there yet?” “Oh, don't even start with that!” Simba yelled at Kovu and made him shut up for the rest of the whole way. After a while both arrived at Simbas old oasis, were Timon & Pumbaa were already waiting. “Welcome you two! Isn't it nostalgic, Simba? You, me, Pumbaa...” “A Bug.”, Simba added to Timons sentence. “And that's the keyword! Kovu, Simba told me that you're doing challenges to become a real king, right?” Timon asked him. “Yes.” “Perfect! Welcome to your fourth challenge, eating like a king.” Simba started laughing when Timon finished his sentence. “Oh, this is gonna be good.” He said and laid back to enjoy.
Timon lifted a small tree trunk and picked up some slimy bugs. "Here we go!", He said and ate some. Kovu was disguted and looked sceptical to Simba. "I don't get how I'll become a better King when I eat these things." "Well, I won't let you become one until you eat them." "But why?" "Because, bitch I am king.", Simba said and relaxed. Kovu looked back to Timon and his bugs, he really didn't want to eat them, but he remembered that he made a promise to Kiara.
"Okay, I'll do it.", he said and walked next to Timon to sit down. "It's time, Pumbaa. Bring in the centipede!" Timon shouted and introduced Pumbaa who came in with a huge centipede all over his nose.” Simba was smiling all over his face while Kovu was just disgusted and tried to think about Kiara.
“Heeeeeere it is!”
“Thank you, Pumbaa! And now leeeeeet's get started!” Timon laid the bug in front of Kovu and looked at him expactantly. He started smelling the bug and nearly puked.
“Ew, that smells awful! Is this thing even alive?”
“Of course. Look, it's trying to get away.”
“Oh shit it's moving!”
“And it's fast! Now hurry, Kovu. Once it runs away, you'll fail the test.” Timon explained to him.
Kovu closed both of his eyes and jumped on the bug. He slashed it with his claws and ate the biggest part of the pieces.
“That is...” Kovu started saying while chewing. “...actually really good! It tastes like chicken!” he said and ate the rest of it. “See!” Timon celebrated and looked over to Simba. “More like slimey and satisfying, but okay. You passed the fourth challenge, time for the fifth. Kiara!” Simba shouted right before Kiara jumped out of a thicket and landed on Kovu.
“K..Kiara?”
“Hey there!”
“Aaaaaand you passed the fifth challenge. Getting nailed by your true love.” Simba said and stood up.
“What now, Simba?”
“It's time for some love.”
“In front of you?”
“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?! Holy shit, no! I mean a song!”
“Oh that's easy, we already got one. In Upeendiiii..”
“Kovu. The ape sang your song and we should leave it at that. I'm talking about my song.”
“You've got a song?”
“Of course. Can you feel the love tonight.”
“Yes.”
“......”
“Dad, your nose is bleeding!” Kiara interrupted the conversation.
“Yea yea...it's just...I wanna save myself from brain damage, so you just failed this one.”
Kovu lowered his head and looked embarrassed at Kiara. He felt really bad after eating the bug and now failing at something like that. “Kovu, you passed and failed 3 challenges. There is one left and that will decide your future.” Simba said and looked down at him.
“And..that is?”
“You have to face the lion king in a fight...to the death!”
“Daddy!”
“I mean a fight. Just a regular fight.” Simba corrected himself and bent his mouth next to Kovus ear. “Dying is still an option.” He whispered and turned back. “Meet me on the top of my cave, I'll be waiting.”
Kovu was distraught and scared how this fight would end. At this point there was no going back, so he had no other choice.
“Are you ready, Kovu? Now it gets serious!” Kiara said excited and ran back to the Pride Lands.
“Kiara.....you're still asking these rhetorical questions.”
When Kovu arrived, Kiara was waiting next to her dad.
“Hey Kovu! Here I am! Can you see me?” Kiara yelled from 10 meters away.
“You spend definitly too much time with him.”, Simba said and walked towards Kovu. The sky was getting darker and darker while it started to rain. “Are you ready, Kovu?” He asked and went in position. Kovu nodded and made himself ready to attack. “Wait!” A voice shouted from the sky. Everyone looked into the sky and saw how the clouds were gathering and Mufasa appeared.
“Kovu. Simba. You two are not supposed to fight against each other.”, he said and made Simba think about what he has done.
“May..maybe you're right father. Maybe I was...”
“Not until Scar is here to see what sides does win! The bright light or the dark side with ugly marks on their faces.” Mufasa interrupted his son. The clouds next to Mufasa started gathering, too and Scar appeared as a huge ghost.
“Finally, you're here!”
“You know, it's a longer way from hell up to the sky as from the heaven down to the .....sky? You live here, right?”
“Aw you got me! Haha”
“Hey! We have something to do down here!” Simba yelled and looked angry at the ghosts. Mufasa and Scar stopped talking and started watching the two lions. Kovu bared his teeth and prepared himself to jump on Simba. Simba smiled and started making a countdown.
“Alright, Kovu. Three, two, one...g..” before he could finish the countdown, Kovu jumped and was close to Simbas face. Simba pimpslaped him with his right paw all over the ground, until the slope. “Simba Roll 2.0!”, he screamed and charged at Kovu. Kovu was flying through the whole air like a ping pong ball in an asian world tournament and holy shit, you know what that looks like. I can't even describe what Simba does to Kovu, just try to imagine it and then something even more hurtful.
“Haha holy shit, do you see how my son fucks up your son? Haha”
“Kovu is not my son.”
“Haha, you sound exactly like a loserdad.”, Mufasa laughed.
After a while Kovu fell down and Simba stopped attacking him.
“Looks like I have to start looking for the Dragon Balls, because it looks like I'll need immortality.” Simba said and looked at Kovu laying on the ground.
“Kovu!” Kiara yelled and ran to him.
“Are you okay?!”
“Eeeh....”
“You're alive!”
“Eeeeeh....”
“You can't imagine the pain I've got thinking about losing you!”
“......eeeh.”
“And now...I really want children with you! Kovu, I love you!”
“Eh.”
“Eh? What's that supposed to mean?”
“Aah...eeh.”
“Don...don't you love me, too?”
“I....I...”
“If you have to think so long before answering my question, I know the answer! You're such an asshole!” Kiara cried and ran away. Simba walked up to Kovu and sat down.
“You know, Kiara will come down. At the very least when I tell her that you can't talk right now. I mean I could have done that before she was running away, but I really like to see my daughter yelling at you.” He said.
“To be honest, I think you would be a great lion king.”
“Eeh..?”
“Yes. Just not here.”
“That's something, I guess.” Kovu thought to himself and closed his eyes to sleep and recover.
“Looks like this is over and I fucking won!” Mufasa said and laughed in Scar's face before he started to disappear again. Scar's ghost was looking away annoyed and started to disappear, too.
At the next morning Kovu wake up with his whole body hurting. “Ouch...at least I can talk again.” He said to himself and tried to stand up. When he was turning himself, he saw Kiara coming up to him. “Hey Kovu.”
“Kiara, I'm so sor...”
“It's okay, dad told me about everything. I know now what you said.”
“Re..really? So you want babys now?”
“Well....I know what you actually said yesterday, but...your groaning killed my babymood.”
“You mean...for now?”
“Forever.”
When Simba walked up to the top of the Pride Rock and wanted to roar, he heard from the top of his cave a loud “Noooooooooooo.” that woke up everybody in the Pride Lands. Simba smiled and looked up in the sky. “Everything right. I've done eve-ry-thing right!”, he said to himself and laughed into the next day.