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Thelonepickle

I don't like bugs!
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~.{Symbols}.//B.I.S.H.I.E.\\.{slobmyS}.~​

Authors:​

GuardianOfHearts
Katattack
Kaze_Krazy
Sterling_Silver
Thelonepickle​

This is a comedy, because... This... Is a comedy... So, yeah.​


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ugly~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​


Ketso jumped a foot into the air when his computer started beeping. He sat up on his bed, rubbing his blonde hair with a gloved hand before dropping his videogame console - the newest ZPrism Cubed by NinSondo - and sat down in his rotating office chair. Moving some junk off of his desk, he opened up his e-mail and, skipping over the various tea-party invites from Sora, read an invitation out loud.​

~-~​

" 'Greetings from Air Ship Pro., where our slogan is "Kicking the Pants Off Gummi Ships In a Completely Non-Offensive, Law-Suit Provoking, or Brag...Ful Way.' Hmm. Not very catchy." Hollow printed the invitation out and kept reading. Closing the door of his room, he left the small island-shack he was residing in, staring confusedly at the letter in his hands.​

~-~​

" 'You've been invited to participate in an exclusive tournament involving many worlds but few fighters. Those invited will compete in a quest - a race to decide who among them is the Best and Brightest Fighter. They'll be defending their honour in four races: Land, Water, and Air, followed by an all-out Fighting segment.' It could be fun," Ketso thought. "I wonder if I'll know any of the competitors."​


~-~​


" 'Attendance is mandatory,' " Hollow said, raising an eyebrow. " 'You have no choice in the matter.' Well, they certainly know how to persuade someone. This has to be a joke." His eyes slid down to read the list of opponents deemed worthy of this competition.​


"Sora?" Hollow asked, astounded. "Sora? As in, 'wears a tutu and sings "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" while brushing his hair into pigtails with berets that have little teddy bears on them" Sora? No. This is a joke. This has to be a joke." Hollow stared at the list, rubbing his temples. The 'Heartless King,' as he'd been dubbed in Megan Yasai's hit magazine, "Bishie Interplanet..al," slammed a dark, Neoshadow-like hand on the table as he sipped his soda. This was stupid. This was an outrage.​


Pulling his hand through his dark hair, his yellow eyes frowned at the page in front of him. "Mandatory, eh? We'll see about that." Then he glared into his glass, reading the date of the competition.​


~-~​


"Tonight?" Kanynt asked, astounded. "The competition starts tonight? 'Bring many pillows and light pajamas, so that you can attend the Super Bishie Fun Pillow Fight.' Oh, that must've been Sora's idea. Is he sponsoring this?" Kanynt squinted at the list of fighters. "No, he's in it. Who's sponsoring this?"​


The invitation read:​


"Sponsored by Bishie Interplanet..al Magazine
and Air Ship Pro, along with help from
Xough Industries, in hopes that
All will survive."​


"This," Kanynt said, throwing the invitation into the mud beneath his jet-black motorcycle's front tire, "Is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard of. And I'm stuck in it. Great." He pulled his helmet on and tore back onto the street, to where the contest was supposed to be held. "Super Bishie Fun Pillow Fight. Yeah, right."​


~-~​


Sora almost jumped up when his hot-pink computer booted up automatically, but he reminded himself that ladies never jump. Standing, he smoothed the wrinkles out of his magenta shirt and walked slowly to the cushioned, salmon-coloured seat, where he placed himself, tucking one foot behind his other leg. Then, he placed his hands over the keyboard.​

"Home keys. Home keys. Which ones are the home keys?" Sora thought aloud, tugging a lock of hair stuffed inside a pigtail. He clipped one of the teddy-bear hair fixtures on his head - a nervous reaction. "Well, I'll just use that mouse thingy."​

He grabbed the mouse, turning it upside down to stare into the red, harmful ray of light that poured into his retinas. "Well, that's painful. But I can feel my I.Q. rising just staring at it." Then, he gave a giggle.​

"Ooh, an e-mail!" Sora laughed, clicking it with the 'little pointy hand thing.' He prayed that it was from Riku, wishing he'd reply more often to Sora's constant Diary Entries. "I even made a blog for him, but he just filed for a restrainful order." Sora wasn't sure what a Restrainy Order or whatever it was called was, but he knew it wasn't a "Yes, Sora! I'd love to come to your Tea Party!"​

This, however, wasn't from Riku. It wasn't even from Marluxia. Sora read the title aloud.​

"REE. Little dot on top of the other dot. T-to... Mis...ster... S-sora. To Mister Sora." The brunnette thought for a moment. "To Ms. Sora." Then he giggled. Somewhere, millions of fan girls willingly injected the Bird Flu virus into their bloodstreams, deciding that it wasn't worth living if Sora wasn't going to act how he had in KH2 anymore. But that's not this story's story.​

Soon, Sora'd read the whole invitation, pretending that it had sparkly purple stationary and was written in spiraly, pink ink. He saw the names of many boys and that his favourite magazine, Bishie Interplanet..al, was sponsoring the contest. He sent a reply immediately, not before changing his font to a bright "Eye-Splintering Party Dress: For Men" style.​

"Of course I'll come, Sillies!" Sora typed. Then, he sent the e-mail, pulled on a pair of white gloves, and skipped down the hallway, leaving his house and heading to the competition.​

~-~​

Kemuri met up with Kanynt, Ketso, Hollow, and Sora. "Well, you guys got the invite, too? This is the place... I'm scared. Some Bishie-crazy chick is gonna make us pillow fight."​

Kanynt scowled. "This is stupid. And why is he here?" He pointed to Sora, angrily.​

"She," Sora corrected, twirling his pink parasol.​

"It," Hollow growled under his breath. Kemuri stifled a laugh. Hollow looked around. They were in front of some worn-down warehouse, big enough to hold at least fifty people on the first floor happily. The invitation had said almost nothing, and the only way they'd known that this was the right place was the banner hanging that said: "Welcome Hawt Guys!"​

A few other boys were approaching. It seemed that a lot were getting the invite. Hollow had to admit that he was scared, too. The only thing that scared him more than Sora was that Megan Yasai. She had a bishie list long as the wall of China, and all the people here seemed to be on the top ranks of it. He heard them all swallow, and they looked around, seeing other boys nervously pulling up in front of the building.​

Hollow sighed. It was going to be a long day.​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Sora won't usually be controlled by me. I just wanted to introduce him, because he's weird. >.< Anyway. That's the first chap. We'll decide who updates next. Gah, first chap wasn't that funny. Forgive me.​
 
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Krazy

Jabberwocky
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Pickle, do you know how much that pwned my soul? Very much, it did. :wise Noda yod:

I think Sora's intro was my favorite my, though. :D ...well, I can't pick a favorite, they were all so very wonderful.

XOUGH! <3

This is the beginning of a beautiful and uberly humourous fic.

INFINITE HEARTS!

This is all for mah personal gain. >3
 

Katattack

Thank You Jonathan Larson
Joined
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Recounting my exploits as an Anarchist. =D
Kat updarts now!

SquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggle

As Ace hopped out of his gummi, he was surprised to see a rare occurance had ... occured at his home. His mailbox was full! Ace raced over to the mail recepting unit, jerking the tiny door down and reaching inside. He ripped open the lone envelope, retrieving a small letter. He quickly read it, looking for anything interesting.

"Oh. A contest. That's... fun." Ace said, finally, bored. Examining the date, he was suddenly much happier. "It's the same time as my root canal today!" He exclaimed, in great joy.

Ace strolled into his home, surprised to see Gala's tiny, cramped gummi in front of the garage. "He never calls. Just pops in." Ace thought to himself, noticing that the letter also had Gala's name on it. He threw the letter on the Gala's face.

Gala sat up on the couch, cranky that his nap had been disturbed. "What's this?" He took the letter, reading it. "Why is this addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Jack Spades?"

Ace's eyes narrowed. "It does not say that." He skeptically took the letter.

"WHY DO PEOPLE THINK I'M A GIRL?!" Gala shouted, angry.

A blank expression inhabited Ace's face. "Well... your name does end in "A". That's feminine in Spanish...."

"Well, then, Senor Inteligente, why does it say that I'm Mrs. Spades?" Gala took a menacing step closer to Ace.

"Umm... well... you do practically live here..." He sheepishly poked his pointer fingers together.

Gala's eyes bulged. "Ace... you got some 'splainin' to do."

Ace winced. This was the third time he had to "Splain" himself this week.

I will finish this.
 

Katattack

Thank You Jonathan Larson
Joined
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Messages
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Location
Recounting my exploits as an Anarchist. =D
Rory sighed as he dusted his helmet off and placed it on the shelf. He regretted having spent so much time away from the racetrack, and was eager to get back. He and Ku had taken a vacation to the beach, but cut it short because Ku was homesick. And... lobster sick.

"Note to self" Rory thought. "Don't let Ku near crustaceans."

He walked into his apartment and hoped that Russel remembered to feed the fish. Last time they didn't... well... things got messy.

"Russel? You here?" Rory asked, fearing the worst for his fish. Actually, for Russel. Rory was sure that those guppies could take down an elephant if they wanted.

"Yeah, I'm here. I was just reading your mai-..." Russel's voice floated in from the living room. "I was just scolding the Mailman because he opened up all your mail."

"Nice save." Rory's annoyed face appeared in the living room, followed promptly by his body! "Anything good?" He asked.

"Why do you subscribe to Leather Pants Weekly?" Russel asked this valid question.

"It's... not... I mean... It's just for the articles, okay?!" Rory stammered.

"Sure..." Russel said, trying to regain his knowledge of the English language. This present discovery had knocked all the information from his mind. "Oh, you got this one." He tossed Rory the only letter that hadn't been opened, before returning to digging through the rest.

Rory scanned the letter, realizing he and Russel wouldn't be participating in the next couple races.

"Man, you spend a lot on electricty. Turn off a light when you leave the room. Seriously, that's all it takes!" Russel was mumbling, along with other comments.

"Shush!" Rory interjected, and before Russel could protest, he continued. "We got invited to this contest thing." He thrust the letter back to Russel.

"So? We can't miss the next few race-" Russel started, before being smacked over the head with the latest issue of Leather Pants Weekly.

"This says attendance is mandatory. Besides, we miss races all the time." Rory pointed out. The author of The Great Chocobo Chase realized that they really do miss races all the time. She wondered why Rugby Salmonface let them get away with this, considering a personality revamp.

Russel couldn't argue with that logic, and read the letter again. "This has got to be some sick joke."

"What?" Rory asked, paging through Leather Pants Weekly and clipping the coupons found inside.

"We have to bring... supplies for a pillow fight." Russel said, pointing to the line of text that supported the statement.

"What're they gonna have us do next?! Wash a car in slow motion?" Rory asked rhetorically. The creators of the fic had a horribly entertaining idea.

SquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggleSquiggle

Rory and Russel looked at eachother in confusion as they approached the other boys who were carrying pillows. Among them was a questionably joyful boy with a pink pillow and a barbie nightie.

The majority of the pajamaed people shuffled away from him. The plaid-clad Rory hugged his chocobo plushie a bit tighter.

"We're here for the contest... thing." Rory inquired of the others. "This is it, right?"

"What's that in your bag?" A guy with black hands gestured at a magazine sticking out of Rory's saddle-pack.

"It's... um... It's Blitzball Illustrated." Rory shoved the magazine back into the pack.

"Can I see?" Russel asked, receiving an elbow in the stomach.



The Ned. *End. Wait... no.

That's not the end of the thing. Just the chapter. Pretend those two were Fuse-Ed.
 

Thelonepickle

I don't like bugs!
Joined
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Messages
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XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Barbie Nightie.

XDDDD Lawl. Coupons. Pants Weekly. Lawl.

Who udparts next?
 

Krazy

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Wonderland. We're all mad here! :D
Aozora snatched an oversized bag of pickle chips out of the kitchen cupboard and viciously ripped it open, stuffing his face with the addictive snack. The blonde turned around to glower at things for no apparent reason before he returned to the blinding screen of his computer, opening up his e-mail box.

The blonde glared menacingly (pouted cutely) at said e-mail page, trying to ignore the fact his eyes were starting to hurt from doing so. In the process of frowning at his computer screen, Aozora shoved a handful of the green-tinted chips into his mouth. The pickle chip-addict's inbox was completely empty except for a lone message from something called Xough Industries. Aozora knew what that meant: No one had reviewed his Pokemon fanfiction. He glared angrily at various things around the room before reluctantly clicking on the single e-mail, and then he leaned on the back two legs of his non-spinny, dinner-but-right-now-it's-a-computer-chair ... chair, waiting impatiently for the page to load.

Several minutes later, Aozora promptly fell back mid-chair-balance when he saw the words 'Super Bishie Fun Pillow Fight' halfway down the email. That had to be the work of the bishie-admiring fool that was his...

Cousin.

After Aozora's initial shock had passed away, the OblivionAngel scrambled to his feet and dashed back to the computer desk, forgetting his chair while dark eyes quickly scanned over the whole message. He folded his arms over his chest and went to sit down again, but fell over again with an instinctive yelp instead. After glaring at the overturned chair he had forgotten to upright, Aozora threw one last menacing look at the message before dashing upstairs in the direction of his room.

He didn't have the luxury of a personal computer. Now I command you to play the world's smallest violin for Aozora and his computer of emo-ness.

When Aozora reached the first floor once again, he was doned in his standard black trenchcoat of awesomeness. At the final stair step, however, his aura of coolness was lost as the blonde tripped and landed flat on his face. A long string of muffled curses left his mouth, and after glaring at the walls and floor some more, he leaped back over to the computer, dark eyes scanning the location of the of competition to memorize it.

He would forget it as soon as he stepped outside the house anyway, so Aozora found the stupid place on MapQuest and printed out the directions.

Before leaving, the blonde read the list of competitors; all of them were from Megan Yasai's Bishie List, just as he had expected. Aozora frowned again. There was a name at the very bottom of the list in the tiniest font possible, and Aozora copyed the small bit of text and pasted it into a handy WordPad window(it was always open).

"Kaze!? What the he..." Aozora tried not to cuss, for the sake of his already-bruised shins,"...Heck. What the heck!? I thought he was-"

"Dead? Shows how much you know."

Aozora fell over in his chair again, and struggled to untangle himself until he finally bounced back to his feet, whirling around to face Kaze.

With a shocked finger pointed at the smaller blonde, Aozora blurted out, "How'd you get here!?" He was inwardly proud that he hadn't stammered idiotically. It had always been a bad habit.

Kaze rolled his mismatched eyes in annoyance,"Haven't you ever heard of Alternate Universe fanfiction? I can be alive if I want to as long as this is Eh You."

"Oh...." Aozora contemplated that for a while. "Don't you mean if the Authoress ... es ... want you to be here?"

"No."

The OblivionAngel's brows furrowed, and when he dared looked up again, Kaze had quietly whisked himself out the door. Hurriedly climbing to his feet, Aozora dashed outside also, crashing into Kaze and sending them both sprawling across the pavement. The shorter blonde glared (Actually glared, unlike Aozora's poor glowering abilities) at Aozora, causing him to yelp and clamber away. Kaze rolled his eyes for the second time, nonchalantly climbing to his feet but still managing to throw a dirty look over his shoulder at the other blonde.

This was going to be a long day.

"You stole Pickle's line," Aozora pointed out.

Kaze glared. "It was technically Hollow's."

"... you still took the line," Aozora insisted, blank expression shadowed by the hood of his cloak.

"Does this face look like it cares?"

Uhm ... no, answered the authoress. But you're still very sexy, no matter how dead you're supposed to be.

"Well ... you're breaking the fourth wall." Aozora added, pointing to this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_wall :D

"Bite me."

"You'd enjoy that, wouldn't you?"

"You're scaring the little children, Aozora."

"Your face scares the camera, Kaze."

"There's not camera here, idiot."

"As far as you know." Aozora threw several suspicious glances around while Kaze just glared.

<><><><><>< I MISSED MAH GLARIN' K-KUN! ><><><><><>​

When the two blondes (there will be a lotta blonde guys here, get used to it) finally walked inside the ridiculously large warehouse ("Kinda reminds me of Cloud's ridiculously large sword." "He was blatantly compensating for something, along with that girly-man Sephiroth.") where the competition was said to be held, Aozora raised a single eyebrow at the banner, removing his hood and folding his arms across his chest in speculation . He didn't need the authentication MapQuest gave him when that banner was so clearly the work of Miss Megan.

"Yep, that's Megan, all right," Aozora muttered to himself then looked to Kaze for confirmation, but the other alchemist was busy glaring evily at the boys that had already arrived.

The taller one sighed deeply, simultainiously slapping a hand to his forehead in annoyance,"It's Love Geometry all over again...."

"Sweet Jesus convention!" Sora exclaimed from his Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag, pointing his pretty pink unicorn plushie at Kaze and nearly poking one of Hollow's eyes out with the toy's horn. "It's the shorty!"

With a shriek, Kaze leaped forward and snatched up the brunette's parasol, then proceeded to beat the girly-boy into puss-spewing organ pile, sin against God-

Oh. Silly Authoress! This isn't FMA!

When the parasol was ... too violently mutilated to continue being used as a weapon, Kaze tossed it aside with a glare, nonchalantly walking past a blood-soaked Sara(it's Sora's other name, get used to it).

"Are you gonna sleep in that?" Ketso asked, staring at Aozora's trenchcoat skeptically and completely ignoring Sora's half-dead state, and Aozora looked down at himself to be reminded of what he was wearing.

"Oh. Yes. But I'm not participatin' in no pillow fight." The alchemist's dark eyes shifted back and for a random reason.

I'm making filler....

Uhm, then he broke into song.

"Will I lose my DIGNITY!? Will someone CAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!?" The other guys stared at him oddly, and Aozora's eyes went "<.< >.>" again, face flushing from embarassment.

The girl most of the guys recognized as Megan Yasai suddenly jumped out of nowhere, causing them to scream, either in surprise or fright. Probably both.

Ph34r me.

"WILL I WAKE TOMORROOOOOW FROM THIS NIIIIIIIIIGHTMAAAAAAAAAAAARE?" The brunette girl (no ... not Sora) continued the song louder than necessary, then, satisfied that all the boys except for Ketso (who was waving obliviously) were clinging to eachother in fear, she pranced away with a wide grin.

"This story is fu---" Kaze started, arms folded, but the bloodied Sora shot up, overriding him.

"FREAKING RANDOM!"
 
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Thelonepickle

I don't like bugs!
Joined
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XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Noice chapter, Krazuh. We need to get SA to read this. D:<

Anyway. XD GoH udparts next. When she can stay on for more than three seconds.
 

Thelonepickle

I don't like bugs!
Joined
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Messages
3,592
^That was the dumbest post ever. The only thing that keeps it from imploding in your face is the fact that you mentioned Rent.

>.>;

<.<

Udpart.
 
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