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Stress



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Howler

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Okay.
I have been completely overwhelmed with stress and anxiety going on in my life lately. There are a couple reasons.
The work I've been doing at school everyday and work brought home has been taking up the majority of my schedule. I'm one who does not procrastinate on doing work, I get it done immediately. But every time, everyday when I finish, I don't have any time at all to do anything else, not even shower. It's stressing me because I want to be able to do things like play video games and watch movies or read or draw! But I haven't had time to do any of it, and it's upsetting me. I'm glad for the times I can slip in and read some books and draw a few pictures, but those moments aren't very often. I've already discussed the issue to my parents and they don't make me do much chores because I'm being such a hard worker, I've even kept my bedroom clean, so they're happy with that. But the workload is killing me, I just want a some more free time and not worry so much about work.
There has been drama that has been around recently with my friends at school.
Supposedly two of my friends had a fight over on Facebook a week back: one of them being my best friend. I got on Facebook and my best friend tried to get me involved with it, but I refused. I didn't want any part of the fight and I wouldn't make it any better.
Then lunch at school came, and the two friends began to fight about what happened. My best friend tried to remain calm (she didn't want there to be a fight between them at school yet she knew there would be), but her rage broke free due to my other friend starting to bring the subject up in a rude way. This was happening in front of me at the lunch table. The fight didn't get too intense thankfully. I tried to settle the fight by trying to understand why both of them were upset and tried to explain it to each other. I wasn't trying to pick whose side I was on. It was just a simple misunderstanding. But my other friend was being too careless about what I was trying to do and started getting all over on how my best friend was being mean. The fight continued and I was close to screaming at the both of them. The other friend just got up and left, and I just buried my face in my arms trying to keep from crying. My best friend hugged me saying she was sorry about that, that I did what I could. But I felt like I failed, that I failed to keep each other's friendship. And when I got home that day, the stress from it was kicking my butt so incredibly hard. I hoped that the two would resolve this, because I was done. I didn't want to be a part of any of that again.
And then it's about a lot of other drama (which I explained but lost everything of what I talked about -_-).
So thank you to those who read and I would appreciate advice to help deal with this kind of stress.
 

Muke

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The workload stuff, whatever, life's not a cakewalk. I'm sorry you are so stressed out.
About the fight... just sounds like some teeny stuff? Could you explain it again?
I know this sounds stupid, but you should've stood up and walked away because this was something between the two of thwm.
 
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Griewer

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Well unfortunately life gets rather hectic, especially around times like this (end-of-year and winter holiday just around the corner) and it is quite difficult to process everything at once. Honestly if you feel like you're being overwhelmed too much, then no matter how much you shouldn't, but DO take an afternoon or a day off - I know you need to compensate by doing extra work the next day, but getting an afternoon/day off can relieve you a bit and work will be a bit simpler.
I know there are priorities, but if you don't take a breather every once in a while, it'll have an impact on the quality of your work, your work speed, your overall morale; none of which is good in the long run. So as long-term investment, take a short break and continue with renewed vigor.

As for the fight between friends: It always sucks to be the third one who needs to lend a help, but that is why friends exist in the end. I know things seem poor and you feel like you failed, but the truth is that you didn't fail one bit. It is a difficult thing to be fair and unbiased when two people connected to you fight and not everyone is capable of doing it. You don't need to be involved and you can let them take care of it. Especially now that everything all going around for you (who knows maybe it is the stress that brought out all this in the first place. They might be a bit overwhelmed as well).
At any rate if you feel like you'd like to help them take care of it, I'm sure both parties would appreciate an ear and a couple of advice. But it is not necessary and if you don't want to get into it any deeper, that is totally acceptable as well.
 

Howler

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Thanks. The fight basically was one friend named Rachel and my best friend Jazmyn had a fight on FB. Rachel thought Jaz was being mean yet Jaz wasn't. I was on FB that moment and Jaz wanted me to help stop what was going on, but I didn't want to get involved. Lunch next day after Rachel brought up the subject which Jazmyn was hoping she wouldn't. They started to fight. Then I would ask Jazmyn her point of view and then Rachel's. I could see why Rachel was upset and tried to explain that Jaz wasn't trying to be mean. But Rachel ignored what I said and started fighting with Jaz again. After fighting, she got up and left. I had blamed myself at the time because I wished I could have stopped the fight when it happened on FB.
 

Muke

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Sounds like classic teenie-fight to me.
There's no point in blaming you since it is not your fault. Please, Howler.
Well, as for the stress part: You shouldn't do everything at once. I'm sure your homeworks aren't all due to the next day; do a part of the homework when you arrive at home, get some break and then after a few hours do your hw again. That's how I do it. :)
 

Howler

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Thank you Muke. Your advice sounds good, I'll probably start doing that on Monday. Also for Griewer, my father wants me to have perfect attendance this school year because I never have before. I do appreciate the help you given though. :)
 

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Thank you Muke. Your advice sounds good, I'll probably start doing that on Monday. Also for Griewer, my father wants me to have perfect attendance this school year because I never have before. I do appreciate the help you given though. :)
I didn't necessarily mean being absent from school, more like spending a little less time with homework on a couple of afternoons. So you did say that you're one who doesn't procrastinate and it is a very good thing (because unlike you I had half a year to write 5 essays and I still need to write 4 in the next 48 hours and here I'm sitting watching a series. :'D) BUT there are times when you need to take a slower pace and if you're really that overwhelmed with stress and anxiety, maybe it is time to slow down a bit. And really you don't have to grab your stuff and throw them out the window, but maybe when getting home you could start with an obligatory 1-2 hour breather and begin your work after that; or just like Muke said take a break every now and then. You'll still get your work done and it might even become easier since you won't be overtired because of the workload without proper rest.

Anyway, hang in there winter holiday is due in a couple of weeks. That ought to give you a breather before things come down crashing in January. :DDD
 

Howler

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You're right. I could work on homework at lunch or in my homeroom class. I could take breaks when I get home, but it can't be too many hours cause by the time I have left when I get home until bed is around 3-4 hours.
 

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Nobody can joke now in days. Everyone is too caught up in the world to even know that humor is a way of relieving stress. If you take a joke, you get screamed at.

I've been up since three this morning.

I saw someone complaining about people not reading her rules. She wandered why people were doing that and complained. I decided to be a sarcastic freak by replying, "Welcome to the real world!"

I get a comment back saying, "Your comment was unnecessary. Don't be a dick!"

I also got my butt handed three times by Xemnas in the final fight. Man, I am a fucking narcissistic, brain dead, good-for-nothing, insensitive jerk! Sure, I am socially awkward, but that is ABSOLUTELY no excuse for being a perverted jerk!
 

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Hopefully you got your stress handled.
I'm unfortunately going through my own. I have a lot of work due soon. I have a 2000 word report due on the 16th that I can't find any information on. I have a 2000 word report due in January when I go back. And I have a Dissertation I gotta do. On top of that, I have dicks phoning me in working and getting mad at me for not giving them information I can't give them for legal reasons.
 

Dreaded_Desire62

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Hopefully you got your stress handled.
I'm unfortunately going through my own. I have a lot of work due soon. I have a 2000 word report due on the 16th that I can't find any information on. I have a 2000 word report due in January when I go back. And I have a Dissertation I gotta do. On top of that, I have dicks phoning me in working and getting mad at me for not giving them information I can't give them for legal reasons.
I hope you can find some time for a break.
 

Muke

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great teacher. give us the stuff we gotta learn for the exam ONE DAY BEFORE IT and expect us not to get stressed and learn 86 (NOT KIDDING) pages in one day?? SIGH SIGH SIGH
 

Dreaded_Desire62

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No, but how is this relevant? xD
Does it help?
Sometimes, it depends on what the song is about. Some people use music as a distraction or a temporary escape from the stress that they face in their daily lives. I actually just listened to a pretty morbid song and it describes how I feel right now. Sometimes, a good upbeat and cheerful song can sooth the stressed out soul. Does anyone know what I am talking about?
 

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I hope you can find some time for a break.
I forgot to say, thank you! I hand in my report on Friday. But I'm going to finish it today, I think. I'm working 9-5 tomorrow, and then I'm going out to the cinema to see Star Wars with a few friends. I'll have a busy time catching up with uni work, but I'm thinking of taking the next two weeks off uni work.

Sometimes, it depends on what the song is about. Some people use music as a distraction or a temporary escape from the stress that they face in their daily lives. I actually just listened to a pretty morbid song and it describes how I feel right now. Sometimes, a good upbeat and cheerful song can sooth the stressed out soul. Does anyone know what I am talking about?
Yeah, I get you. The issue for me is a lot of my music can do the opposite though. Sometimes I need a morbid song to help me through a mood. I mentioned in another topic that listening to music and smoking is my coping mechanism.
 

Dreaded_Desire62

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Today has been a hectic day.

I met a man that I had never seen before. He had piercings, a shaved head, tattoos and he was sitting right in front of the stairway where people come and go and right by the door. I didn't mean to open the door on him and I apologized profusely. I asked him why he was there and he said he was going through his backup for a jacket that he was returning to the mall. I passed him by to get my mail and while I was coming up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him no and he introduced himself as Bobby. I made sure the door was closed and hurried up inside. I made sure the blinds were closed as I saw him going out the front door. I have never seen the guy here before and so I was scared. Maybe, I was paranoid.

I told my friends. Two of them thought I did the right thing, but the third one seemed dismissive of my fear. I also told her about the shady stuff that has been going on in my apartment building not the specifics. There is a biracial couple upstairs on the third floor. The boyfriend is black and the girlfriend is white with long brown hair. I see her on a occasion but not her boyfriend.

I do hear shouting and loud thumps during the night. I actually called the non-emergency number for the cops to show up because I thought the couple was fighting. The couple also has two large dogs, a German Shepherd puppy and some sort of Husky or whatever. Perhaps, I should have minded my own business, but I was tired of hearing the repeated screaming and thumping for the past few days.

I've also had a neighbor that had a gas fire today, which he put out. However, I still called the fire department since there was smoke in the hallway and the fire alarm was going off. I was told to go outside and I pretty much got myself and Mheetu (in his kennel) outside. Mheetu is still terrified.

The firefighters said it was all right for me to go inside. They brought in fans to clear the smoke out. I told the firefighters, well one of them that there was no fire extinguisher for the second floor (the other two others, the third and first floor have fire extinguishers) and I have complained to management before about having a fire extinguisher. They have done nothing about my concern.

One of my neighbors from the first floor came outside. She wanted to see what was going on and I told her that there was smoke on the second floor. I didn't mean to scare her. I thought she needed to know in case something worst happened. There were like four fire trucks, two ambulances and one police truck. Maybe, I overreacted but my neighbor that had the gas fire has been up at like three in the morning, banging on another neighbor's door, demanding money or something. I think I overheard him demanding payment for drugs or something. My caregiver has also complained about some of guys that come and go out of the apartment, she said she had bad vibes about them and asked me to check on her Honda.

I did that and they did nothing. The Honda did break down and she is trying to get it fixed or at least look for another vehicle (the engine has some unfixable problem).

I am a mentee in a mentorship program and I have suggested to the director about having a self-defense class. I don't want anyone to be in a vulnerable situation, especially with what recently happened in Chicago. Four eighteen-year-old adults kidnapped a man with special needs and tortured him. One of the adults knew the guy and so sought the handicapped individual out since there was four of them and one of him.

I want to be able to defend myself in case something like that does happen, because I do have a developmental disability. I don't want to be abducted by a group of people with the same goal. I know my chances are slim of that happening but life has been unpredictable. People can be predators and giving yourself the chance to fight back in self-defense is probably needed.
 

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Next week I have a NAWI (Natural sciences?) presentation. And a Math test, a BWL (Business management?) exam, an English exam (that one's gonna be easy anyway), an UNCO (accounting and controlling?) exam, a PSK (Personality development and social skills?) presentation and a German presentation.

I am not stressed at all. :)
i am fucking stressed :(
 

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There is good stress that is very helpful for people and very bad stress that we have all felt. So appreciate the good stress and fight through the bad ones ^_^
 
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