Street Harassment

[stephaknee]

This issue sparked some controversy on a few blogs I read, so I thought I'd bring it to the KHI community. Just for curiosity's sake, can you post your gender, age, ethnicity, and economic background (if you feel comfortable doing so) when you post? (ex: I'm a 19 year old white female living in a low-income area with a lower middle class upbringing).

How do you feel about guys whistling, catcalling, or even just complimenting girls on the street? Do you think girls warrant this behavior when dressed provocatively? Do you think they like the attention? Do you think men doing the harassment actually have intentions of trying to initiate relations, either sexual or emotional (ie what are the true motives)?

 

[Gunmetal]

Well yeah.
We wouldn't whistle at them if we didn't want to bang their brains out.

However, my observation's been that such behaviour usually occurs within groups, composed exclusively of other men, and as such is an action made out of embarassment or fear of peer rejection if the individual were to use a more acceptable means of opening communication.

For example. A group of construction workers see a blonde with big boobs. Worker A has two options: 1, walk over and begin talking to her, in which case his friends will start making fun of his attempts, embarrasing him in front of her. 2, whistle at her alongside his friends.

As he is likely never to see the woman again, but will see his friends daily, more often then not he will opt for choice two.

Situations where a lone individual performs such behaviours can be attributed to social programming. "This is how I'd act if my friends were here, so this is how I should act."

 

[stephaknee]

[edit] Decided I'm going to save this post until there are more replies.

 

[Kasrinok]

Ill say this Male, 16... most interested in Girls and Cars. If I see a girl that I dont know I porbably wouldnt walk right up to her and go, "Wow you smokin hot!" or anything like that. I would probably give the girl(s) a compliment or something but I dotn act like im a Pimp and yell anything at them... the occasional whistle lol

 

[Square Ninja]

If you dress provactively, women, you're asking for the catcalls. You, however, consciously decided to dress like that, so you wanted some attention. When men whistle they're only giving you the response you wanted. Perhaps this is just my masculine perspective, but if people were complimenting me on how good I look, I would take it wholly as a compliment.

Then again men will never see how women could be offended by this. Men seem like they want sex all the time because they have to initiate it by societies standards. If you're female chances are ever since you hit puberty there has always been someone around who wanted to fuck your brains out. You really only need a vagina and not be hideous to get attention, girls. Men lack this luxury, so they are forced to tell you the female -in whatever way- that they want you. We will never be able to fully grasp the concept of being picky about who we fuck, because we never know if we're going to get some ever again.

 

[Gildragon]

While I don't support harrasment of any kind

I mean really if girls don't want their boobs, etc. whatever to be looked at. than cover the heck up.

If you don't want people to gawk at your ladies don't show them off.


I mean some outfits practically scream RAPE ME, yet as soon as one sexual comment is made the woman gets offended?

like jeez wear a trench coat over it or something if you are that self concious about it.


[EDIT]
22- White- Male- owns his own house by a lake

 

[Prajna]

White, male, 17. I live in one of those towns where people can do alot of talking and then leave it at that. I was once walking down a street and I wear sunglasses all the time because I have very sensitive eyes and some wise-guy has to make a remark saying "Oh, look at that kid and his glasses". First of all that's not even clever, secondly when I went to see who it was he ran inside his house and laughed at me behind his screen door, plus the kid was at least 3 years older than me, I was sixteen at the time. People always have the tendency to portray a certain image whether they are by themselves or with their friends. I never knew that kid and never spoke to him in my life and yet he decides to try to upset me. It didn't bother me too much seeing as how the guy was obviously an idiot and couldn't think of anything better to say. Just knowing that people to continue to waste their time like that is beyond me.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

You'll notice that men almost never publicly approach women the way you're describing when they're alone. This is for a reason. It's nothing but male chest beating, all for show.

How do I feel about hitting on strangers? There is definitely a classy way to do it, but that doesn't seem to fit within the context of this thread. "Harassment" is a definitive word.

And for whatever reason it matters, I'm a seventeen year old Latino male from an upper middle class family.

If you dress provactively, women, you're asking for the catcalls.

Not many people are willing to come out and say this, but ladies, if you deny that dressing like a skank is inviting sexual attention upon yourself...well, just don't say I didn't warn you after you've been raped behind a dumpster at the Marriott.

 

[Ehres]

Female, 17, white (French, raised in England), and economically I'd sayyy lower middle-class/upper working class, if there's such a thing. :/

The place in England where I've been raised is full of idiots. A lot of the people are low-lives, but the financial spectrum varies from the lower-class scum who have no education and spend their lives sleeping with everything in sight and having babies at the age of 14, to the higher-upper class in their fancy BMWs and suits, drinking coffee in Costa's while reading a newspaper and surfing the web on their laptops. The night scene isn't so much a scene than a recurring event that happens every Friday and Saturday night -- the girls get dressed up, the guys get dressed up, they go to the pub, get drunk, get up to their antics and stumble back him. Even on nights like that, I see a lot of the girls/women wearing nice outfits, albeit there be some outright skanky outfits from girls who love attention and yet cannot pull off the hooker look without looking like a smackhead, too. Where I live there are a lot of teenage girls, all of them into the same shit because it's popular, but even there, there's a range. You can go from lower class scum who wear tiny denim skirts and bras, to normal, chillaxed girls who go out in classy clothes and still look nice. So really, I'm biased because I believe what a girl wears reflects a lot about herself. The girls/women with skanky outfits usually are shouting abuse or making too much noise, so yeah, they're asking to be cat-called at. They think it's a compliment, but I don't think it is. It's a compliment if you look nice without having to show your pussy off, and then getting whistled at. Because you know that it's dignified. Guys who're whistling at the skanks usually follow-up with something like, "Suck my dick," or whatever; i.e. all they think about is sex. Which is something I wouldn't disagree with. To classy girls, I've witnessed that they'll whistle and then look her up and down in an appreciative way, not in a way that's degrading and is basically asserting his 'superiority' over you; i.e. you being his piece of meat for the night and a cheap, easy fuck.

I digress.

 

[Reflection]

This issue sparked some controversy on a few blogs I read, so I thought I'd bring it to the KHI community. Just for curiosity's sake, can you post your gender, age, ethnicity, and economic background (if you feel comfortable doing so) when you post? (ex: I'm a 19 year old white female living in a low-income area with a lower middle class upbringing).

How do you feel about guys whistling, catcalling, or even just complimenting girls on the street? Do you think girls warrant this behavior when dressed provocatively? Do you think they like the attention? Do you think men doing the harassment actually have intentions of trying to initiate relations, either sexual or emotional (ie what are the true motives)?

i'm a 16 year old white girl in a middle-class suburban area with middle-class upbringing.

umm. i dress really how i want to, whatever looks cute, and sometimes that involves skankyish stuff. D:

i will say, not gonna lie, that getting attention raises my self-esteem. (WHAT A NOVEL IDEA ELLE I HAD NO IDEA)

now i can't speak for everyone else but i assume me feeling like that and liking it is weird, because i always see like on tv and stuff that normal girls would be offended and like slap them or something.

but i commend people that are brave enough to compliment me! cause i totally wouldn't if i wasn't me! :3

 

[scubasteve]

but i commend people that are brave enough to compliment me! cause i totally wouldn't if i wasn't me! :3

yeah one time i kissed a black guy on the street and let's just say it got kinda sexual

 

[Square Ninja]

Not many people are willing to come out and say this, but ladies, if you deny that dressing like a skank is inviting sexual attention upon yourself...well, just don't say I didn't warn you after you've been raped behind a dumpster at the Marriott.

There's something very wrong with your decision making if you think dressing provocatively is asking for rape.

 

[Dogenzaka]

18-year old Latino male with no current income living in upper-middle class.

I think some like the attention, but I don't do it because I think it's not very classy or gentleman-like. I prefer to sweep 'em off their feet old-fashioned.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

There's something very wrong with your decision making if you think dressing provocatively is asking for rape.

The fact that my example was so specific should have said it all about how serious I wasn't. And don't make me define the difference between "asking" and "inviting" for you.

 

[Wehrmacht]

Sixteen years old, male, mixed european and latino descent, middle class upbringing.

Undoubtedly, some of them like the attention; and while I'd never go out of my way to hit on a stranger, I can't help but agree with all that have said that any girl who claims she doesn't like the attention and goes out dressed provocatively anyway is kind of asking for it.

 

[Square Ninja]

The fact that my example was so specific should have said it all about how serious I wasn't. And don't make me define the difference between "asking" and "inviting" for you.

Fair enough. You'd be surprised how often I hear that as justification for rape, though.

 

[huo_yuanjia]

i think a part of this behavior is attributed to a large amount of boys/men being raised without positive male role models and father figures. if men arent stepping up as fathers and teaching their sons respect for women, then their sons will follow suit. too many boys with false sense of masculinity, thinking its manly to degrade and objectify women.

 

[Prajna]

i think a part of this behavior is attributed to a large amount of boys/men being raised without positive male role models and father figures. if men arent stepping up as fathers and teaching their sons respect for women, then their sons will follow suit. too many boys with false sense of masculinity, thinking its manly to degrade and objectify women.

So true and not only that but all the violence and drug dealing that is going on. It's literally at an all time high.

 

[Square Ninja]

I really don't see how general crime is related to the image of women in America, but okay.

 

[The Conquerer]

I'm 18 years old, black male, and I live in the neighborhood where people break down your window when you are gone and run yo shit... Just like two weeks ago the house next door was robbed at gun point. Bums dressing up like cops kicked down the door and took big screen, etc... Anyway, I live in a lower middle class area, and I am currently unemployed (yes, I am looking for a job); would be in college right now, but I got a few months.

Honestly though, I think guys are more nervous than anything to talk to a girl they find particularly attractive. From my understanding, girls in groups (yes a lot travel in groups) just seem out of reach. Their ovewhelming forces discourages guys because they may fear rejection and the possibility of getting ridiculed by a larger target. So, talking to a girl alone when they are walking, is the best option because it is the highest chance of success.

But I think girls dressing the way they do, who get hollard at for that reason, were trying to impress somebody, otherwise they'd dress more conservative and casual to their general style of dress. And I think girls who complain and dress open like that either are repulsed by the guys because they aren't physically attractive to them, just want to play the victim role, or wants to be hit on in a more respectful and subtle way, instead of being whistled at, etc.

Though, to tell you the truth, I've been hit on by girls more than I've hit on girls. I don't mind girls getting hollard at by guys, if it works for them, good for them. If it fails, guys' got rethink their approach. How a man plays his game is up to him. If he wins, he wins, if he lose, he lose. The Key is to know when it's not working, and to back off. I only get annoyed when I see guys trying to get in there despite the girl trying to pull away. That kind of annoys me. Trying to impose one's will on an unwillful subject is oppressing and just wrong...