i liked it and waiting to see what happens next ^-^
Fanfiction ► Spirit of a Full Moon
- Thread starter RikuDestiny
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A little confusing because it's mostly dialogue. but i'm also reading this when I should be asleep!
I still like it. It still catches my interest. Take a piece of an advice from an ameture? More description/action. I'd like to see more "and she did this/that" than just dialogue. but it's still good!
I still like it. It still catches my interest. Take a piece of an advice from an ameture? More description/action. I'd like to see more "and she did this/that" than just dialogue. but it's still good!
It is very confusing....
Still it is interesting, I'll wait and see....
Still it is interesting, I'll wait and see....
I told u Haku…. I my first post wasn’t the end of chapter one… but anyway thanks guys!
Chapter 2: Apple of my Eye
“You okay?” Riku stop paying attention to Leon’s ranting.
“Hmmm? Yeah, just lost in thought…..” I notice Riku was staring at me now, kind of like he wanted me to say more. “Listen, im going to talk to my dad ok?”
“…yeah ok...” Riku went upstairs to his room.
I made my way downstairs and I saw Santros standing in the door way.
“You told her?” he asked.
“I didn’t get to…. Dad seems awful quiet…”
“Yeah, probably planning to ambush his next victim... good luck.” He headed up the stairs.
“Dad?” I saw him playing with his sword. “Don’t you think you’re a little to old for that?”
“Well, you won’t let me kill anybody… so I get bored…”
Yes, Sephiroth is my father. It’s really awkward being a daughter of an ex- assassin... but also pretty cool… I mean, how many people do you know has Sephiroth as their dad?
“You wanted to see me?” He started playing with his bangs.
“Yeah, I wanted to ask you if I should tell Kairi about what happened to mom…”
“She has the right to know... why not?”
“I guess I just don’t want to think about it since I was the one who witnessed it….”
“Hmmm….” Dad saw a moogle flying by and looked evilly at it.
“Don’t think about it…. You can kill everything you see...” I stared at his motion with his sword.
“Damn you kids… It’s no fun living here… well, if I can’t kill, im going to get drunk if you don’t mind….. Come, walk with me.” He got up refusing to let go of his sword.
“Yeah go ahead, get drunk, and dad... please keep your clothes on…” I shuddered at the thought.
“I make no promises…” He laughed.
To me it wasn’t all that funny but hey, at least he wasn’t laughing at someone else’s misery…
Anyway, a couple of rooms down and saw Tifa cleaning her counter. Cid put in a mini bar so she had something to if she wasn’t in Midgar.
Oh, boy, my brothers were down here too. Things are going to get very messy. Maybe Kairi would enjoy see a bunch of drunken men… or be horribly disgusted.... either way, It would take her mind off things…
I knew I couldn’t avoid telling her about what happened, I didn’t really want to. When she was staring at mom’s picture I heard her mumble: “You look just like her...”
Yea I know the chapters are a little slow, don’t worry it’s a lot of action and comedy coming up! Lol, but bare with me guys, this fanfic is one to enjoy, I promise!
Chapter 3 might be a little slow to, but I get into what happened to the mother in this one.
Chapter 2: Apple of my Eye
“You okay?” Riku stop paying attention to Leon’s ranting.
“Hmmm? Yeah, just lost in thought…..” I notice Riku was staring at me now, kind of like he wanted me to say more. “Listen, im going to talk to my dad ok?”
“…yeah ok...” Riku went upstairs to his room.
I made my way downstairs and I saw Santros standing in the door way.
“You told her?” he asked.
“I didn’t get to…. Dad seems awful quiet…”
“Yeah, probably planning to ambush his next victim... good luck.” He headed up the stairs.
“Dad?” I saw him playing with his sword. “Don’t you think you’re a little to old for that?”
“Well, you won’t let me kill anybody… so I get bored…”
Yes, Sephiroth is my father. It’s really awkward being a daughter of an ex- assassin... but also pretty cool… I mean, how many people do you know has Sephiroth as their dad?
“You wanted to see me?” He started playing with his bangs.
“Yeah, I wanted to ask you if I should tell Kairi about what happened to mom…”
“She has the right to know... why not?”
“I guess I just don’t want to think about it since I was the one who witnessed it….”
“Hmmm….” Dad saw a moogle flying by and looked evilly at it.
“Don’t think about it…. You can kill everything you see...” I stared at his motion with his sword.
“Damn you kids… It’s no fun living here… well, if I can’t kill, im going to get drunk if you don’t mind….. Come, walk with me.” He got up refusing to let go of his sword.
“Yeah go ahead, get drunk, and dad... please keep your clothes on…” I shuddered at the thought.
“I make no promises…” He laughed.
To me it wasn’t all that funny but hey, at least he wasn’t laughing at someone else’s misery…
Anyway, a couple of rooms down and saw Tifa cleaning her counter. Cid put in a mini bar so she had something to if she wasn’t in Midgar.
Oh, boy, my brothers were down here too. Things are going to get very messy. Maybe Kairi would enjoy see a bunch of drunken men… or be horribly disgusted.... either way, It would take her mind off things…
I knew I couldn’t avoid telling her about what happened, I didn’t really want to. When she was staring at mom’s picture I heard her mumble: “You look just like her...”
Yea I know the chapters are a little slow, don’t worry it’s a lot of action and comedy coming up! Lol, but bare with me guys, this fanfic is one to enjoy, I promise!
Chapter 3 might be a little slow to, but I get into what happened to the mother in this one.
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Tell you what..AWESOME CHPATER! I love it keep on going Riku remember you have my support, and TK16 and Haku like it too^^
I can tell u what.... theres a romance between Raye and Riku... lol :wub: and more surprises! Next chapter tomorrow! :toungesmile:
lol....Sephiroth can't kill anything...that is funny.
it was a good chappie, Raye-chan ^-^
it was a good chappie, Raye-chan ^-^
great chapter Riku! really interesting to see Sephiroth being held back to kill anything, let alone being a father lol.
really creative nice work ^^
really creative nice work ^^
thank u guys!!! *hugs all around* ^^
yes....really good job, Raye-chan.
*still laughing at the Sephiroth parts*
*still laughing at the Sephiroth parts*
lol thanks! he'll have more dont worry! :thumbsup:
In my opinion it's not bad but not great. You should continue it.
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Hello! Its pretty good!!!!! Its also something new yo!lol Im going to keep reading this!
lol thanks a lot, chapter 3 will be posted tomorrow! ^^
HAHAHHAHA!!! That's so funny! I liked that chapter!
I like how it's kinda like a diary!
I like how it's kinda like a diary!
Alrighty will be waiting for the next one then!
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Hey Buddy! I promised you I would read it and I did, very good fanfic! you can always write better than me XD Keep it up! I wait for more!
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It's still confusing to read... You need to explain things more to the reader. You know the storyline, but when writing, you need to make sure you explain everything as if you didn't.
Keep writing, that's the way you'll improve. But take criticism into account, okay? =D
<3
Keep writing, that's the way you'll improve. But take criticism into account, okay? =D
<3
Hey Riku! Remember me? lol anyways. It's slow but it draws me in! I can't wait to read more! (and Sephiroth...very funny. Never imagined him as a father figure though...and 11 kids! wow...)
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