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Theart

Hyped Ruler of Honnouji Academy
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Uhhhhhhhhhh, not to be a Debbie Downer here, but couldn't it be camera angles tricking us?
 

chasespicer056

Empathy is Divine
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OK, chase. You take the skits from here. :D

Fair enough.

Aqua: Sora...there's something I have to tell you.

Sora: What is it?

Aqua: You know how we've been having sex for weeks?

Sora: Yeah...

Aqua: Well, I'm pregnant.

Sora: WHAT?!?! Why didn't you take a pill to prevent that! I don't want a son yet!

Aqua: Then don't worry...because it's not yours.

Sora: ....huh?

Aqua: I got bored, and did somethings with Xemnas. I'm sorry Sora. I never should have betrayed you.

Sora: Aqua...why?

Aqua: I just...HAVE A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR!!!

Sora: ...what?

Aqua: I'm kidding! I'm not pregnant.

*She tops him.*

Aqua: Now let's start round 103.
 

The Dead Skin

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In the neighboring room, Riku and Ansem SoD are slowly un-bandaging themselves.

Riku: Dewd, we need to shoot a scene for KH3.

Ansem SoD: In-deed.

Riku: Uh, lady, could you please nail Sora in another floor?
 

chasespicer056

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In the neighboring room, Riku and Ansem SoD are slowly un-bandaging themselves.

Riku: Dewd, we need to shoot a scene for KH3.

Ansem SoD: In-deed.

Riku: Uh, lady, could you please nail Sora in another floor?

Aqua: Sora...tell your friends to leave please.

Sora: Well one of them is actually my enemy, but sure.

*Sora strolls over to them*

Sora: hey guys, could you leave? Aqua wants alone time.

Ansem: Alone? Oh, you'll be alone all right! IN EVERLASTING DARKNESS!

*He summons his Guardian, yet Aqua bashes it on the head, knocking it out. Defenseless, Ansem vanishes in darkness*

Riku: Uh...I better go.

*Riku runs off, leaving the two alone*

Aqua: Thank you, Sora. Now, let's get back to-

Xemnas: Not so fast.

*Aqua looks in shock*

Aqua: Xemnas?! What are you doing back?

Xemnas: Revenge.

*The Nobody ignites two red blades, aiming them at Aqua*

Sora: Oh boy...
 

Theart

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Sora: NOT ON MY WATCH. *Puts on badass sunglasses*

Xemnas: Pfft. You've gotten soft.

Aqua: (How wrong you are Xemnas. <3)

Sora: *Proceeds to kick Xemnas' ass*

Xemnas: B-but.... HOW?! You've been doing nothing but having sex for so long now!

Sora: *smirks* Exactly; not only is sex a very pleasurable action, it's also a great source of exercise! >:D
 

chasespicer056

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Sora: NOT ON MY WATCH. *Puts on badass sunglasses*

Xemnas: Pfft. You've gotten soft.

Aqua: (How wrong you are Xemnas. <3)

Sora: *Proceeds to kick Xemnas' ass*

Xemnas: B-but.... HOW?! You've been doing nothing but having sex for so long now!

Sora: *smirks* Exactly; not only is sex a very pleasurable action, it's also a great source of exercise! >:D

Aqua: That's right boys and girls! So, if you need a good workout, then just have sex! You'd be surprised how fast your heart pumps when you do!

Xemnas (in body cast): I didn't have sex, and this happened to me. Don't make the same mistake...even if you're supposed to be celibate or something.

Sora: So have intercourse to get the best shape for your body!

Aqua: Speaking of which...the break's over, Sora. Back to the workout!!
 

The Dead Skin

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The following got retconned by VirgilTheart. (un-retconned by chasespicer056)

After Sora bashes Xemnas out of the room...

Sora: Phew. Let's get back to the Pleasuredome, shall we?

Aqua: Of course we shall. *pins Sora to the floor*

*a surveillance cam is in the room*

MF: She was nailing a little boy... this is insane.
 
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chasespicer056

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The following got retconned by VirgilTheart.

After Sora bashes Xemnas out of the room...

Sora: Phew. Let's get back to the Pleasuredome, shall we?

Aqua: Of course we shall. *pins Sora to the floor*

*a surveillance cam is in the room*

MF: She was nailing a little boy... this is insane.

Aqua: Ah...you're getting better at this Sora. Soon you'll be a pro.

Sora: I thought I already was.

Aqua: Well...no...not yet. But you will be.

Sora: Then let's keep practicing!

Aqua: Of course, my young pupil.
 

The Dead Skin

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Sora: *pant* I think that's all for today...

Aqua: Yes. 120 rounds a day is fine.

Sora: Aqua...

Aqua: What is it? You changed your mind?

Sora: You know I get a little horny when a girl chokes me?

Aqua: Hmmmm. Let's put that into play in the next training session. Let's get dressed.

Sora: Right. See ya! \o *short kiss*
 

The Dead Skin

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Bumping skit! 8D

Sora was eating some chicken in the basement of the Hollow Bastion castle...

Sora: It sure is boring around here. Oh, a computer. Let's see, how do I unlock the secret ending for BbS...

*Sora takes his gloves off and turns the computer on*

Computer: [ENTER PASSWORD]

Sora weakly bangs his head on the keyboard, luckily (lol) typing in the passwords for Ansem the Wise's computer.

Computer: [ACCESS GRANTED]

Sora: Seriously? O__o Oh well. Let's check out GameFAQs! 8D

A data CD pops out of the CD drive.

Sora: Oh well... get all the Xehanort Reports... *looks at the CD* Must be the fourth CD for FF8! *grabs it and has a flash of nostalgia* I'm gonna check down there.

Sora goes down the stairs and looks at the Heartless Manufactory.

Sora: Gewd times, man... where friggin' Xehanort--

Apprentice Xehanort: IT IS I! *goes out*

Sora: built the Emblem Heartless...

The floor in front of our very clumsy hero opens wide, revealing a loooong downward spiral staircase.

Sora: ACK! *jumps in fear* I JUST OPENED THE GATES TO HELL! O____O *sniff sniff* Something smells like... Aqua's panties. Did she get raped?! O.O XEMNAS!!!!

Sora runs down the staircase, coming in front of a door.

Sora: *pant* *pant* Freaking staircase... I'm gonna Aerial Dodge my way out of here after I look in there...

He enters the room, revealing a prison-like place.

Sora: o__o Wow... I guess this is where Xehanort kept his apprentices before he split into a deep-voiced magnificent bastard and a Large Ham with a Heartless shield... oh well. There's one more room! 8D

He ran down the hallway and entered the Room of Sleep.

Sora: The hell? I just found a throne? Yeah, I'm tired... might as well get some sleep here. *sits on the throne and takes a nap*

When Sora wakes up...

Sora: OK... gotta zip my pants up... *looks down* Aqua?!

*Aqua, in her armor, is performing fellatio on Sora*

Aqua: Hello, pupil. *smirks*

Sora: How did you get in here?

Aqua: Relax. Ever watched one of the extra scenes in KH2FM? That's me in my armor.

Sora: Wow. But you're here, so... can you please take your armor off?

Aqua: Of course.
 
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