Sora's Guide to Parenting

[BufferAqua]

SORA'S KID: Daddy! I WANT MOMMY!
SORA: Sorry, son, mother is being kidnapped right now.

SORA'S KID: Daddy! I WANT SHOES!
SORA: You can have mine, son.
SORA'S KID: BUT THEY'RE SO BIG!
SORA: I'm used to it. They don't even fit me.

SORA: Let me tell you the story of Roxas. When I became a Heartless, a nobody named Roxas was born. Roxas hated me and I felt bad.
SORA'S KID: SO YOU HAVE A TWIN BROTHER AND HE HATES YOU? AW DAD I'M SO SORRY!
SORA: What? No, that's not what I meant!

Sora's Guide to Parenting, everybody.
(lol sorry I was bored)

 

[Pandymint]

THe greatness of Sora's parenting continues.

 

[Chuman]

sora: buddy! dinner's ready!
sora's wife: what are you doing?
sora, standing in front of the door with KK drawn: jus pullin a prank

 

[BufferAqua]

*Sora calls Riku*

SORA: Riku, I want you to babysit my son today. I have to fight more Heartless.
RIKU: That's great--
SORA: And don't tell him any bedtime stories.
RIKU: Why?

*The last time Riku told him a bedtime story*

RIKU: Once of upon a time there was darkness, and then there was more darkness. Then darkness consumed everything because it was darkness. Get it? Darkness!
SORA'S KID: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

[Lonbilly]

I came into this thread expecting Forum Insanity gold. I was not disappointed.

 

[Chuuya]

RIKU: Fine, I won't! Though I wanted to tell him a story about darkness... Sora: No! It took a month to stop him crying from the last story you told him! *Sora and his wife leaves* RIKU: Alright, what you want to do? *Sora's Son is no where in sight* RIKU: Huh? Oh crap, where is he?! Sora will kill me if his son's missing! (Sorry it's in sentence form, for some odd reason it automatically does that for me. Idk why).

 

[LightUpTheSky452]

"When I met your mother, son, we were only five. She'd washed up onto the shore of Destiny Islands. 'Cause that happens all the time, right? ANYWAY, I was worried that she was drowning--so I asked her who she was, and if she was okay and stuff--and then called out for help. She was covered in sand, and really it was kind of disgusting. She must have been choking on the stuff. And I couldn't even tell her hair was red at first, since the sand was making it look brown.

"The grown ups finally helped her out, and took her to the mayor's house, but she didn't even remember anything or me! So really, I didn't even get to meet her until she got dragged to the Play Island by her new parents later, and Riku and me both got to see her that way.

And that, son, is how I met your mother."

 

[Lonbilly]

Aww, I was thinking about making a HIMYM joke about how Sora met Kairi and she wasn't the mother but Naminé was but then we find out the whole point of the story was so Sora could get his kid's permission to date Aunt Kairi.

 

[LightUpTheSky452]

Aww, I was thinking about making a HIMYM joke about how Sora met Kairi and she wasn't the mother but Naminé was but then we find out the whole point of the story was so Sora could get his kid's permission to date Aunt Kairi.

LOL. Sorry I beat you to the punch! That would have been a good idea, honestly. But I guess my mind just crossed HIMYM, and how Sora and Kairi apparently meet in the manga (though I know it's not canon, and I added things to it and made it ridiculous), but honestly yours probably would've been better^_^

I was also probably inspired by some Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase posts I've seen similar to this. Haha.

 

[Chuman]

[latenight dinner conversation]
sora, sighing: can you cover your belly button at the dinner table?
sora's son: what's wrong dad? i can't dress like uncle riku?
sora: no, its just that-
SS: oh, i see how it is. you don't want me to be like aunts kairi and selphie. well screw you dad. we can't all leave home and go on an adventure with mickey frigging mouse!

[awkward silence]
oswald: you know i think i'll just go now. thank you for the paopu stew.
sora: no, i'm sorry oswald. he's just had a rough time with the move.
oswald: its fine sora, really. its just, i was kicked out for drunkenly trying to burn down disney castle and pissed on the cornerstone of light, but i can tell your family has serious issues.
sora: wow. are you happy now vanny?
vanitas jr under his breath: told you the stop calling me that, this is bullshit.
sora: whaT DID YOU SAY YOUNG MAN?

shiki: don't look at me. he didn't learn this from me, its YOUR friends who's influencing him this way.
sora: mm hm. no, i see how it is. all i do is go out and SAVE THE WORLD with wholesome people and you act like its me? you come back from the dead with violent calculus teachers and you're an angel? LOOK AT MS BODY POSITIVITY, HER BEST. FRIENDS. BODY. i should have just hooked up with anna, who was, by the way, extremely greatful for me SAVING ALL OF EXISTENCE.

shiki: oh not this again
sora: i do everything for this family
van: i started cutting again

[door creaks]
oswald: i forgot my bags...

 

[LightUpTheSky452]

Kairi: Sora, I swear if you give him a toy sword to play with one more time, I'm going to put you in Pluto's doghouse, and you're going to wish you were out adventuring like he was in KH1 instead of being there!

IDK.

Also, this thread is reminding me of this video from YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q_fCvJ1xdw
LOL. It still cracks me up.

 

[Anagram]

*shortly after Sora's child was born*

Sora: *bursts through door holding child* "MOM! DAD! LOOK! I'mma daddy!" *shedding tears*
Sora's mom: *throws fucking kitchen knife* "DINNER'S FUCKING READY YOU LITTLE SHIT!" *dinner still on table long since cold*

*thebestIgotIamsorry*

 

[BlackOsprey]

Sora: Now son. If you're by yourself and some creepy guy with his face hidden by a hood walks near you, don't talk to him. Don't go with him. Just scream, run away, and find me or Uncle Riku, ok?

 

[Chuuya]

SORA'S SON: Hey Uncle Riku, wants this? *Holds up Shadow Heartless* RIKU:....Uh..why...that's just a little Shadow! Isn't it cute? It must be lost! Here I'll just take it back home. *Riku summons his keyblade* SORA'S SON: NO! I want to keep him, he's my friend! RIKU: You can't keep him or daddy won't be happy! *Sora walks in room* SORA: Hey, what are you two doing? SORA'S SON: Nothing *Holding Shadow behind him* SORA: What do you got behind your back? *Sora's Son moves Shadow in front of him* SORA'S SON: This. Can I keep it dad? SORA: OH GOD, KILL IT!!!!!!!! * Summons his keyblade* SORA'S SON:WHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

 

[VoidGear.]

Sora: Well, son. I'm going to tell you a story...It is legen- wait for it........ DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Sora's son: ... o.o ????
Sora: ................. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DARY HAHAHA okay here's the story:
Sora's son: *fell asleep five minutes ago*
Sora: (( Uhmmm watcha saaay.

No. Sora shouldn't be a parent. Thx.

 

[Chuuya]

Well, we know Sora might never be a parent (though you never know), it's fun to think what it would be like if he was. XD

 

[VoidGear.]

Well, we know Sora might never be a parent (though you never know), it's fun to think what it would be like if he was. XD

Don't make me fear they're going to pull the same shit they pulled in Naruto. I don't want a "Sora's son arc" xD

 

[Chuuya]

Hopefully not. You can never predict what Nomura is thinking. But I bet some people out there want that to happen, and I could see why. Nomura better not do that in KH3, or else what you said VoidGear could happen.