Relationships, why don't they ever work out? Maybe it's just me and I have the worst taste in women or maybe I seem to have some warped sense of Sexual A.D.D. Never being able to keep my mind on a single person and always wanting to just generally be free...
I seem to fall into love to easily yet at the same time I never seem to care about someone... I always see myself saying "I love you." to the girl I might date at the current time (though in truth I've only said it three times to different girl friends, not all dated at once of course) but I don't know if I really mean it... I don't know if I just cling onto the word in a hope that something will bring my cold dark self some feeling of comfort. I like the concept of the one, someone you are to be with... But in this time of youth it generally comes down to me knowing the truth. The person you end up with is almost 99.9% NOT the person you are dating as a youth... Reality is that there isn't the sweet high school couple that dates for their rest of the life and ends up happily ever after...
You date someone, you fall in love, you fall out of love you find someone else. I guess I've grown to fond of that fact that I never give the relationship I'm in a try... That's what I like to tell myself at least. I don't know if I'm just afraid to commit or I just date people that have some kind of problem or aren't compatible with me. Should the cat stay with another cat? Or do opposites really attract? I guess I ask myself that all the time... Should you look for someone who has the same interests as yourself? Or is it more interesting to feel that spark of conflict and difference and let it ignite that passionate flame?
I kind of knew something was wrong when I lost interest in our sexual life... Yeah really. "No sex please, not in the mood!" Yeah something is extremely wrong, m'kay? I don't know I just don't find pleasure it in anymore... It's more of a "Hey, it's there, let's get it over with." With all my incoherent ramblings I forgot what the hell I was trying to talk about...
*scrolls up to the top of the post...*
Oh! Relationships... That's right. I hate that feeling of not wanting to hurt someone... Caring about a person so much that no matter how the road has twisted and how many times you've gotten a flat tire that you don't want to get off and find a new car. I'm not even sure if that metaphor makes any sense, hell I'm not even sure if you could call that a metaphor... Would it be a simile? Did I even spell that write? Blargh...
I guess I just got to that point in the relationship where there is that feeling of unhappiness. That want to be with someone else who treats you how you deserve and leave the person you're with. The hard part is that sometimes you question if you deserve to be treated better... What if you are an asshole and you deserve what you get? What if she deserves better? What if that person you want to leave is someone that you love so very much but they aren't that person any more? I love the concept of what she use to be but I don't love her any more... Stupid concepts...
I guess the whole point of this is to just get all this emotion off of my chest... Get my feelings out and just bitch and complain to people who have no real care in how I feel. I don't think I even conveyed the emotions I wanted to clearly... I'm sure most of you will read this and go "What the **** is this idiot talking about?" but then in some way someone will leave that comment which makes the whole rambling worth it. I just had to get thinks out so I didn't go off into a room and hang myself.
Love Americo. <3
I seem to fall into love to easily yet at the same time I never seem to care about someone... I always see myself saying "I love you." to the girl I might date at the current time (though in truth I've only said it three times to different girl friends, not all dated at once of course) but I don't know if I really mean it... I don't know if I just cling onto the word in a hope that something will bring my cold dark self some feeling of comfort. I like the concept of the one, someone you are to be with... But in this time of youth it generally comes down to me knowing the truth. The person you end up with is almost 99.9% NOT the person you are dating as a youth... Reality is that there isn't the sweet high school couple that dates for their rest of the life and ends up happily ever after...
You date someone, you fall in love, you fall out of love you find someone else. I guess I've grown to fond of that fact that I never give the relationship I'm in a try... That's what I like to tell myself at least. I don't know if I'm just afraid to commit or I just date people that have some kind of problem or aren't compatible with me. Should the cat stay with another cat? Or do opposites really attract? I guess I ask myself that all the time... Should you look for someone who has the same interests as yourself? Or is it more interesting to feel that spark of conflict and difference and let it ignite that passionate flame?
I kind of knew something was wrong when I lost interest in our sexual life... Yeah really. "No sex please, not in the mood!" Yeah something is extremely wrong, m'kay? I don't know I just don't find pleasure it in anymore... It's more of a "Hey, it's there, let's get it over with." With all my incoherent ramblings I forgot what the hell I was trying to talk about...
*scrolls up to the top of the post...*
Oh! Relationships... That's right. I hate that feeling of not wanting to hurt someone... Caring about a person so much that no matter how the road has twisted and how many times you've gotten a flat tire that you don't want to get off and find a new car. I'm not even sure if that metaphor makes any sense, hell I'm not even sure if you could call that a metaphor... Would it be a simile? Did I even spell that write? Blargh...
I guess I just got to that point in the relationship where there is that feeling of unhappiness. That want to be with someone else who treats you how you deserve and leave the person you're with. The hard part is that sometimes you question if you deserve to be treated better... What if you are an asshole and you deserve what you get? What if she deserves better? What if that person you want to leave is someone that you love so very much but they aren't that person any more? I love the concept of what she use to be but I don't love her any more... Stupid concepts...
I guess the whole point of this is to just get all this emotion off of my chest... Get my feelings out and just bitch and complain to people who have no real care in how I feel. I don't think I even conveyed the emotions I wanted to clearly... I'm sure most of you will read this and go "What the **** is this idiot talking about?" but then in some way someone will leave that comment which makes the whole rambling worth it. I just had to get thinks out so I didn't go off into a room and hang myself.
Love Americo. <3