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Help/Support ► So...um...I'm kinda in love with two people



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Datomix

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Ok, first of all, im bi and if you dont like it then dont post, i'm not in the mood for "abominations" and "eternal damnations" today.

Ok, so I ended up dating my best friend off and on for the past year, everything was perfect til he started doing cocaine and possibly meth, and blamed me for that and "turning him" gay, eventally the relationship got what i guess you could say was abusive, so I broke it off. Then he takes me back and apologizes then it happens all over again, so again, i ended it, and to this day he still wants to be with me, but i'll get back to that in a sec.

So my brother introduced me to this girl, and we really hit it off, we have the same taste in music, style, everything. And shes ok with the fact im bi. So, were kind of dating....I think. but then my ex gets kicked out of his house and my mom (im closeted, none of my family and only a few friends know) decides to take him in and now he lives with me -___-. So, now he's always here trying to prove "hes changed" and "he loves me" and all this other bullshit....and its so hard to resist....needlessto say...we often do things that only people in a relationship should do.......idk what to do anymore.

I want to be with this girl, she means so much to me and were so much alike... but I still have feelings about my friend, he's the person iv'e always wanted....ever since I realized I was bi, and i know eventually shes going to find out and everything is going to be a big huge mess...i just dont know what to do...
 

Eva

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Do not take him back; the vicious cycle is only gonna continue--I know from experience. Seriously, unless you wanna keep getting hurt over and over, don't be with him. Not saying forget about him, just don't continue.

I say go out with her; the feelings you feel for your ex are natural, but it isnt worth you getting hurt.
 

Angel

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to be honest. you're 16 and based off your age i don't think you know what you want. wait until you're older, wiser and more capable of making decisions on who you want to date and crap.

how can you ignore the fact that going after the BF is quite obviously a stupid decision?

taking him back would:

A. throw you back in the cycle,
B. Effectively out yourself to your family, and
C. Quite possibly get him kicked out of your house, too.
 

Dawning Twilight

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how can you ignore the fact that going after the BF is quite obviously a stupid decision?

taking him back would:

A. throw you back in the cycle,
B. Effectively out yourself to your family, and
C. Quite possibly get him kicked out of your house, too.
it's easy if i don't give a crap.

no but seriously i never said he should stay with the BF. i'm just saying that young people who bitch and moan about relationships should wait until they're older and more mature so that they can engage in relationships then. or there's always the alternative method where you experiment in relationships as obviously is being done and become more experienced over the years. obviously asking for opinions isn't really going to help as every person is different. so i suppose my suggestion is for him to do what he feels is right.
 

Datomix

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its more complicated than that, i know im young and it probably is those "you dont know what love is" situations, but my ex was like my "Dream date" of sorts, the one i always wanted, but thought would never happen, hes hard to let go...especially since hes always around me...what im saying is, i need to find a way to get him out of the house without him outing me v.v
 

New2Ya

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You're in a tough spot.

First thing, the guy chapted is closed. No one is allowed to hit you. The saying goes that no man should ever hit a woman, but hitting a man is no different whatsoever. Physical abuse in a relationship should always be a sign that the partner is not worthy of being with you. Simple as that.

As for the girl, go for it. If you feel attracted to her, and you have so much in common, and she likes you, what can there be to keep you from being with her.

Certainly not that a-hole that of course still means a lot to you. But he's an a-hole nonetheless.:23:
 

Datomix

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You're in a tough spot.

First thing, the guy chapted is closed. No one is allowed to hit you. The saying goes that no man should ever hit a woman, but hitting a man is no different whatsoever. Physical abuse in a relationship should always be a sign that the partner is not worthy of being with you. Simple as that.

As for the girl, go for it. If you feel attracted to her, and you have so much in common, and she likes you, what can there be to keep you from being with her.

Certainly not that a-hole that of course still means a lot to you. But he's an a-hole nonetheless.:23:


It was never physical abuse, other than a couple incidents but one of those was before he even knew i was bi, it was only verbal/mental abuse, it wasnt a big deal I just got tired of it, I just wish he was the same as he used to be, and as for the girl, i feel like its not fair for me to be with her when i still have feelings for him.
 

xx kairi xx

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has this girl you've been talking about admitted feelings for you too though? if she hasnt said anything then i think it would be best that you found out where she stands before you make any desicions. - you dont want to end up turning her away by being to 'hastey' if she means a lot to you.

as for the guy its a tough one - especialy since he's living with you. the feelings you have for him are never going to be able to move on if he's around you all the time. if its making you feel uncomfortable or pressured then perhaps you should talk to your mum so you can come to an arrangement as to what will happen to him (arranging another place for him or even you if you wanted to stay etc). personally i dont think you should get back together with him, he shouldnt drop you then pick you up again as though your nothing more than a toy. its not a nice way to treat someone. i know that its hard to get over someone that has been around you and shared a meaningful relationship with you for some time, but not letting go of your feelings will keep the circle going.

i guess its all very well me saying this when im not in the situation and that your not going to be able to come to a desicion straight away, so i suggest for now that you think your feelings over and observe the situation more - especially to do with the girl. when your clear/have an idea on what you want to do, talk it over with your mum/your ex/the girl or whomever you think can help and take action so that you can break the cycle that your in.

i hope this helps you =)
 

Datomix

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has this girl you've been talking about admitted feelings for you too though? if she hasnt said anything then i think it would be best that you found out where she stands before you make any desicions. - you dont want to end up turning her away by being to 'hastey' if she means a lot to you.

as for the guy its a tough one - especialy since he's living with you. the feelings you have for him are never going to be able to move on if he's around you all the time. if its making you feel uncomfortable or pressured then perhaps you should talk to your mum so you can come to an arrangement as to what will happen to him (arranging another place for him or even you if you wanted to stay etc). personally i dont think you should get back together with him, he shouldnt drop you then pick you up again as though your nothing more than a toy. its not a nice way to treat someone. i know that its hard to get over someone that has been around you and shared a meaningful relationship with you for some time, but not letting go of your feelings will keep the circle going.

i guess its all very well me saying this when im not in the situation and that your not going to be able to come to a desicion straight away, so i suggest for now that you think your feelings over and observe the situation more - especially to do with the girl. when your clear/have an idea on what you want to do, talk it over with your mum/your ex/the girl or whomever you think can help and take action so that you can break the cycle that your in.

i hope this helps you =)

youre right, and thanks for the advice, but the thing is i cant go to my mom for help because if she knew I was bi id either be kicked out or be at a reform school, so i kinda feel helpless right now. and the girl says she loves me, but she is having issues with her ex as well so idk where my relationship stands with her. Plus I think she might like someone else but i cant say for sure
 

Eva

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youre right, and thanks for the advice, but the thing is i cant go to my mom for help because if she knew I was bi id either be kicked out or be at a reform school, so i kinda feel helpless right now. and the girl says she loves me, but she is having issues with her ex as well so idk where my relationship stands with her. Plus I think she might like someone else but i cant say for sure

you two should talk if you share a common problem. it helps when you talk face to face with someone who's also having bf/gf troubles.
 

Datomix

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you two should talk if you share a common problem. it helps when you talk face to face with someone who's also having bf/gf troubles.


yeah but as far as i know she doesnt know he exists -__- so im kinda worried about her getting upset (she gets upset over the littlest things)



EDIT: but i guess talking to her wouldnt hurt
 

Spic Steve

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I want to be with this girl, she means so much to me and were so much alike... but I still have feelings about my friend, he's the person iv'e always wanted....ever since I realized I was bi, and i know eventually shes going to find out and everything is going to be a big huge mess...i just dont know what to do...

you're not in love.
you like.

choose the one you want most. you say you've always wanted him...
 

Datomix

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you're not in love.
you like.

choose the one you want most. you say you've always wanted him...

Like I have said before, it's not that easy, I want to be with him more than anything, but hes so neurotic and a douche now, but I can't get over him, and I feel like i'm just stringing along the the girl
 

Q

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Like I have said before, it's not that easy, I want to be with him more than anything, but hes so neurotic and a douche now, but I can't get over him, and I feel like i'm just stringing along the the girl

holy fuck

stop going to a god damned help and support thread if you're A: not going to take anyone's advice and continue to spout stupid-ass pity phrases like this and B: you're blowing shit way out of proportion. You don't "love" this kid - he's your "dream date", that isn't the same as love.

I have a nice suggestion for you - grow the fuck up and start listening to what the smarter members here are saying.
 

Spic Steve

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What Q said.
Well played mate.

If he's a douche, FUCK HIM.
Do you need that?
Probably not.
 
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