Smoke



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Lingering Will

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Joined
May 18, 2017
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So, I wanted to do a story like this for a while, though never found the time. Luckily for me I'm on break, and I got time, and I like writing, so here you go! Any comments, critiques, or criticism are welcomed with open arms, unless, you know, you're a jerk about it. Then I'll get salty.

And trust me, you don't want to get the Lingering Will angry.

But whatever! Here's the story! Called it Smoke, you'll find out soon enough if you request me to continue writing it. I probably will anyway though.

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KingdomKey

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This was amazing! I'm already dying to know what happens next after Levi gets tossed like that. Please tell me he lives! Furthermore, this flows naturally like it would in a novel. The descriptions of what the characters look like don't interrupt the story at all! Which can be quite tricky for the average writer. And my heart throbbed for Ann, when she started to cry. Whereas Levi's feelings felt like they were rolling off me in waves with his hate for his mother. (I mean this in a good way, cause it's good that I can feel it!) Seriously, it's a really compelling story that I wanna know what'll happen to the three of them. :D
 

Lingering Will

New member
Joined
May 18, 2017
Messages
28
Location
Keyblade Graveyard
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5+2.5 ReMIX
  • 15th Anniversary
  • Final Fantasy XV
  • Crafty Soul
  • Whirlwind Lancer
This was amazing! I'm already dying to know what happens next after Levi gets tossed like that. Please tell me he lives! Furthermore, this flows naturally like it would in a novel. The descriptions of what the characters look like don't interrupt the story at all! Which can be quite tricky for the average writer. And my heart throbbed for Ann, when she started to cry. Whereas Levi's feelings felt like they were rolling off me in waves with his hate for his mother. (I mean this in a good way, cause it's good that I can feel it!) Seriously, it's a really compelling story that I wanna know what'll happen to the three of them. :D
Thanks! I try my best. Even though I'm new to this forum I actually am quite a bit of a writer and have plenty of experience. I'll be sure to continue writing the story now that I have at least one reader waiting! (I feel so accomplished...)

EDIT: And because I'm feeling nice, Yes, Levi lives, he's got a few tricks up his sleeve. Some even he doesn't know about!
 
Last edited:

Lingering Will

New member
Joined
May 18, 2017
Messages
28
Location
Keyblade Graveyard
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5+2.5 ReMIX
  • 15th Anniversary
  • Final Fantasy XV
  • Crafty Soul
  • Whirlwind Lancer
Well, a double post, if that's not allowed, my apologies, but here's the second chapter, got it done quick.

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