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Sloanism, the basics.



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Blackest Night

High Priest of Sloanism
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Why hello there. I have quite a bit of free time today and as such, have decided to outline my personal favorite system of beliefs, Sloanism.


Sloanism is a system of faith based on the band Crossfade. The religion would have received a different name, but I could not think of a nice name involving the name of the band. Such holiness was beyond me. However, in its stead, Blood Alchemist offered the name "Sloanism", based on the last name of Crossfade's frontman and arguably sexiest member.

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In Sloanism, there are three dieties which are of the utmost importance.

Ed Sloan​
Mitch James​
James Branham​

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Collectively, aside from Crossfade, Ed Sloan, Mitch James and James Branham are referred to(in Sloanism) as the Holy Trinity. As a rule, any member of the Holy Trinity is completely, utterly and eternally better than all others. Combined, the sheer magnitude of pwnage, should they choose to express it, is beyond explanation.​

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The following is a basic explanation of of terms as they apply to Sloanism:

Cheeto- The equivalent of the Christian communion wafer. The sole reason for this is, quite simply, because I love Cheetos.

Ultimate Pwnage - The characteristic held by the three members of the Holy Trinity that renders them completely, utterly and eternally above all others. As such, they are unable to be "pwned", "owned", "burned", successfully "flamed" and in general, immune to any attempts at lowering their "pwnage level." Should anyone attempt to "pwn" any member of the Holy Trinity, the "pwner" in question is automatically "ultimately pwned" instantaneously.

Holy Trinity - Also known as Crossfade. Comprised of Ed Sloan, Mitch James and james Branham.

Ed Sloan - Namesake of Sloanism. Lead guitarist, vocalist and frontman for Crossfade. In this Sloanist's opinion, the sexiest one of them all. Naturally an awesome dude.

Mitch James - Member of Crossfade, the Holy Trinity and bassist of Crossfade. Naturally an awesome dude. Currently either married or engaged and father of two very lovely daughters.

James Branham - Member of Crossfade, the Holy Trinity and drummer of Crossfade. Very fun person to be around and currently married to a very beautiful lady. As far as this Sloanist knows, I believe James has a daughter.

Crossfade(album)- Debut album of the band currently known as Crossfade. Contains 10 songs and is 34 minutes, 19 seconds long. Contains the singles Cold, So Far Away, and Colors. Recorded in the studio located in Ed Sloan's basement as the band originally lacked the funds and/or connections to record it officially. Later, it was retooled slightly by Columbia Records and released to the world.

Sugardaddy Superstar- Past name of the band, Crossfade. Changed to it's current name when the record deal was signed, much to the enjoyment of Crossfade's current fans.

The Nothing- Another past incarnation of the current band, Crossfade. Later changed to Sugardaddy Superstar and later, Crossfade.

Falling Away- New album by Crossfade. Set for release on August 29th, 2006. Contains the new single Invincible as well as other incredibly fantastic songs. A link containing samples of the album and the option to preorder it is available upon request via PM to me or access to Crossfade's website, http://www.crossfadeonline.com .

Ultimate Sexiness- A trait similar to Ultimate Pwnage posessed by all members of the Holy Trinity. Quite simple, no other being is, was, or ever shall be as sexy as any one member of the Holy Trinity, much less as a whole.

Cold- First single to be released from Crossfade's self-titled debut album. An apologetic song that spawned the first video from Crossfade's album.

So Far Away- Second single to be released from Crossfade's self-titled debut album. No video was created.

Colors: Third single to be released from Crossfade's self-titled debut album. A video was created for it and is very well done, as are all of Crossfade's other videos.

Invincible: Fourth single altogether and the first single from Crossfade's album "Falling Away". A video has been created and, like all others, is easily accessible through Youtube and other video distribution web sites.

Columbia, South Carolina: Birthplace of Crossfade and residence/birthplace of most, if not all, of the Holy Trinity. Good college town, although the music scene was not very conducive to the development of a band.

This list shall occasionally be added to as I think of other terms I may have missed.​

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Any and all past members of Crossfade, as well as its past incarnations, although not a member of the Holy Trinity, are still very much loved and appreciated for any and all contributions to the band as a whole as well as bringing their own talents to the fans. In short, we heart you.​

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Basic Ideals of Sloanism:

To spread well-being, brother/sister-hood, awesomeness and sexyness to all.

To give potential Sloanists as well as current members a system of beliefs that is not depressing, guilt tripping or requiring worship. A simple knowledge that Crossfade "pwns" all will suffice, provided the person in question does not blaspheme. Should blaspheming take place, a Sloanist shall receive a verbal slap on the wrist. Should a non-Sloanist blasphemed, they will be asked why they find it necessary to do so.

To give everyone the opprotunity to be a part of something that is actually and enjoyable.

To allow all to enjoy the music of Crossfade.

To allow me to show my vast support, gratitude and praise for the band, Crossfade, for all their music has given to me, from a peaceful sanctuary to inspiration.

To raise support for the band Crossfade and to wish them luck in all of their endeavours.
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Should I remember anything I may have temporarily forgotten about Sloanism, this list shall be edited. Sadly, I am running short on time right now and must finish this before I have to start all over.


My only request is that you do not flame this.
 
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chaywa

A Picasso Reality
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BN the new album is already out on a variety of online sources that this forum forbids me to mention, i've listened to it...and its all so very very hawt. Just like the first album i see barely any fault in it whatsoever, but still 'The Unknown' remains my favourite song

Long may Crossfade live as the immense band, the crowning glory of human evolution.

Count me as a convert to Sloanism...
 

Chris

I share this account w/ my mom lmao
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tl;dr


but I SEE WAT U DID DERE

No, but srsly, nice. Now you can have followers.
 

Blackest Night

High Priest of Sloanism
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I purchased their cd today. I love it very much and I find it very hard, if not entirely impossible, to describe my love for it in words. Already Gone is one of my favorite songs on the cd an the "Exclusive" version I bought allowed me to download the acoustic version of Invincible. I very much like it. But this cd, curse you.
 

Bear

Ouranophobic
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...I shall be a Sloanism follower! bwahahaha! Little objectors run in fear, for you shall not see the light of day as long as I assent to the beliefs of.. SLOANISM! =D
 
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