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Fanfiction ► Sharper - A Mar/Zex non-yaoi Oneshot.



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_Sketches

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[Sorry for posting this in two places, but i'm not actually sure where it's supposed to go. D:]

This idea has been swirling around in my head for a while now. This is not yaoi, it has a bit of violence, angst and a swear word. that is all. Please read, and review if you have an FF account. Thanks for reading [If you did xD]

http://login.fanfiction.net/story/st...4169&chapter=1

Here it is if you don't have an account and can't see it:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All was calm. The bittersweet song of silence sang around the slate-haired Nobody whose head was bent over a large book. Zexion’s fringe hung over his face, obscuring a good percentage of his immaculately calm features.
Time gently caressed him, encasing him in a bubble, suspending him by a sinew from the world of motion. He moved his slender arms only to turn a page, his iridescent cobalt eyes flickering with intellect.

“Zexion.”
The silken voice slapped Zexion out of his perfect world.
His head jerked upwards, glancing over the pages of the heavy tome.

A flurry of crimson rose petals swirled dramatically, ruffling Zexion’s hair, then fluttered to rest upon the floor. A tall willowy figure strode confidently towards the other Nobody, causing the latter to arch his eyebrows with silent questioning.

“ Number XI?” He replied, a slight frown settling across his face, he could not begin to imagine why Marluxia would call here at this time of the night.
“My, my Zexion… It’s been a while.” Marluxia purred, his eyes running along Zexion’s body in a way that was completely unsettling.

“ A while, XI? On the contrary, we conversed merely hours ago, did we not?” Zexion replied dryly, mind still whirring trying to make sense of the untimely visit, keeping his eyes locked steadily with his Superior. Marluxia did not give a response, he simply outstretched his arm, long fingers almost touching Zexion’s porcelain skin.

“XI, I believe you have somewhere to be?” Zexion’s eyes narrowed at Marluxia’s proximity.

“Indeed I don’t, dearest Zexion… and would you please stop with the ridiculous formalities, I think we are a little past that, don’t you?”
Marluxia did not withdraw his fingers, in fact, they brushed Zexion’s skin, the lightest of touches, but enough to make Zexion recoil.

“Formalities? I don’t understand XI-” Marluxia cupped Zexion’s delicate face in his hands, fingers brushing strands of ice blue hair.
“Yes Zexion, formalities, please do not refer to me as a number. I am a person with a name, which is used to differentiate me from the masses. I thought you of all people, regarding your intellect, would know of such things.”

Zexion bristled at the insult to his knowledge, squirming at the unfamiliarly soft feeling of Marluxia’s skin against his.
“Take your hands off me Marluxia. I don’t care what you came here for, get out.” Zexion snapped coldly. Marluxia leaned in further, causing Zexion’s arms to be trapped underneath his body, a situation which Marluxia wholly enjoyed.

Zexion jerked angrily, almost dislodging Marluxia. Marluxia chuckled as Zexion tried to free his arms from the caging frame of his comrade. The lilac-haired Nobody simply grinned, a curved smile as he observed the reaction of Zexion when he ran his hands along the fragile bone structure of his neck. Zexion shivered.

Zexion, in his discomfort, caught sight of his forgotten book. As Marluxia probed Zexion’s body, he was completely focused on the younger male’s face, watching closely for signs of weakness, enjoyment. Zexion would not give anything. He did not enjoy this complete violation of his own body. He knew some people would find Marluxia attractive, his endless blue eyes, smooth lilac waves of hair cascading past his chiselled cheekbones. Zexion grit his teeth as he felt nothing but the onslaught of injustice.

He again thought of his abandoned book on the floor beside the sofa. Zexion’s arm crept slowly down the edge of the sofa, feeling along the grey material until he could feel the bound edge of the hardback. He grasped it, readying himself for what was about to come, the silence before the storm. He could hear Marluxia breathing, he was so close. A stray pink strand tickled the bridge of his nose.

Zexion’s arm swung upwards with dizzying speed, the hard corner of the book colliding with the side of Marluxia’s face, knocking him off Zexion’s body and onto the floor.
Zexion wasted no time, fear took him, leaping up and running towards the door.
A blustering tornado of petals thrust him backwards into Marluxia who grasped him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him to the floor.

“You little bastard! How dare you!” Marluxia’s eyes narrowed, blazing with blue fire.
He kicked Zexion viciously in the side. Face contorted in fury at the younger Nobody.
Zexion gasped in pain, causing Marluxia to laugh raucously, head tilted backwards, towering monstrously tall above the figure on the ground. “Do you love me Zexion?” He leered, his foot connecting with Zexion’s chest, knocking the air out of his lungs.

“L-love you? I couldn’t if I tried XI, you know that…” Zexion maintained his false sense of oblivious reason, though he was struggling not to cry out.

Marluxia lunged forward, hair flying manically around him like a twisted halo. He seized Zexion’s shoulders, continually slamming his head against the floor. Zexion could barely see straight, his head hitting the cold marble, knocking all occupying plans of escape from his mind. Marluxia gripped Zexion by the neck and forced him to look up. Zexion’s eyes were clouded with pain. Zexion felt a secret stab of masochistic pleasure, feeling the agony, the primal fear that was so very close to an emotion, filled him with false hope.
He gazed up defiantly, though his body was breaking.

“I will ask you once more my dear Zexion, DO YOU LOVE ME?”
“I hate you with every fibre of my being.” Zexion whispered, his voice slurred.

Marluxia leaned down so that he was right beside Zexion’s terrified face.
“I’ll see you again tomorrow”
He strode out of the door and slammed it behind him. Zexion heard the swift sound of a lock grinding into place.

Zexion lay there on the ground, bringing his knees up to his chest. He curled up tightly. All he could do was bury his head in his hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Evello

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“I hate you with every fibre of my being.” Zexion whispered, his voice slurred.
Go Zexy! You tell that messed up woman!

Anyway, great short story. At first I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was very interesting, and I love the detail you use. Your grammar was also, as far as I could tell, flawless. I literally can't think of anything grammar-related to comment on. So I'll just say that while the ending was fitting, it seemed kinda strange. The "I'll see you tomorrow" line was very menacing, but it didn't seem to actually mean anything. Was he inferring that he was going to beat up Zexy again the next day, or just that they would see each other the next day while working? If it was the former, then I would suggest altering it a little to get that message across more clearly. Something like "We'll talk again tomorrow" would be a bit more clear, in my opinion. If it is not meant to mean anything other than the obvious, then I guess... just leave it as is.

And the part where Marly locks the door confused me too. Was he locking Zexy in the room or was he locking the room that he was entering?

Anyway, those incredibly nit-picky comments aside, this was an awesome story. I love your writing style. I hope you keep posting more awesome stories.
 

_Sketches

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Go Zexy! You tell that messed up woman!

Anyway, great short story. At first I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was very interesting, and I love the detail you use. Your grammar was also, as far as I could tell, flawless. I literally can't think of anything grammar-related to comment on. So I'll just say that while the ending was fitting, it seemed kinda strange. The "I'll see you tomorrow" line was very menacing, but it didn't seem to actually mean anything. Was he inferring that he was going to beat up Zexy again the next day, or just that they would see each other the next day while working? If it was the former, then I would suggest altering it a little to get that message across more clearly. Something like "We'll talk again tomorrow" would be a bit more clear, in my opinion. If it is not meant to mean anything other than the obvious, then I guess... just leave it as is.

And the part where Marly locks the door confused me too. Was he locking Zexy in the room or was he locking the room that he was entering?

Anyway, those incredibly nit-picky comments aside, this was an awesome story. I love your writing style. I hope you keep posting more awesome stories.



Why thank you ^_^
Thanks for critique, it's definitely what I need. I know some of the things I mention are vague, it's because I was supposed to be studying and has to rush and type out my thoughts. xD

Answering your questions, Marluxia locked Zexion in the room [which was a quiet room that nobody really used very much, hence the fact Zexion was using it to read :D] and implies that he'll 'ask' Zexion the same thing tomorrow. You can guess the rest. I have absolutely NO IDEA why I made the story twist like that. Marluxia goes crazy... xD

Thankfully, I won't continue with this, as I have absolutely NO idea what i would do for 'the next day'. Oneshots are my thing, though if I get inspired, who knows? A multi-chaptered story it may be!

Thanks very much for commenting. <3
 

TwilightRiku_13

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Oh my God, Marluxia, you evil bastard!!! How dare you do that to my Zexion!!! How dare you!!! Okay, now that I got that out of my system, back to the story. That was a really great story. Your detail was so good. I really liked the twist with Marluxia going agro; with the way you started the story, that was totally unexpected. I really liked the ending; part of me wants you write about the next day, but, since this is a one-shot, I'll just have to use my imagination. Anyway, great job, and I look forward to more stories.
 

_Sketches

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Oh my God, Marluxia, you evil bastard!!! How dare you do that to my Zexion!!! How dare you!!! Okay, now that I got that out of my system, back to the story. That was a really great story. Your detail was so good. I really liked the twist with Marluxia going agro; with the way you started the story, that was totally unexpected. I really liked the ending; part of me wants you write about the next day, but, since this is a one-shot, I'll just have to use my imagination. Anyway, great job, and I look forward to more stories.


x'D I did not expect that first line! But I must agree, how evil he is. Poor Zexion, I was rooting for the guy the whole way through... But I had the idea in my head already, so I didn't want to change it for the better... Ah well. :D

If I ever get an idea that won't ruin the story, I might continue, but don't bet on it.[schoolwork and laziness = unlikeliy to do any actual work.] Also, your imagination is probably the best thing to rely on, rather than my 'skillz'. Then it can end however you want!

Thanks very very much for commenting. ^_^
 
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