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Help/Support ► Sexuality questioning.



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State

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I don't know why but, I'm CONSTANTLY questioning my sexuality. Why? I'm the type of person that thinks things too much. Recently, it's my sexuality. I'm constantly questio,,ning myself whether or not I'm hetero or homosexual, when, in reality, I have never shared or felt any sort of sentiments towards a male, unless he's my relative. On the contrary, I've had two crushes and fallen in-love once (all three cases are towards females). I don't have a problem recognizing another individual's traits, but it's the thought of constantly questioning myself that annoys and saddens me based on stupid and minor details such as "I'm more domestic; y do more housework than manwork (I rarely do some manwork, and it's only when I'm in the mood)" and that attitude of classifying what I do as gay or not is torturing me.
 
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Solar

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unless you've been thinking about having sex with a dude, it doesn't seen like you're questioning your sexuality so much as your non-conformity to stupid, and frankly, unrealistic notions of gender roles within society
 
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Nostalgia

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The only thing that defines whether or not you're gay is your willingness to develop romantic feelings for and/or have sex with men. It's not about doing housework, so don't let that stress you out. As for questioning it, I think the issue is that a number of people have been coming out of the closet in recent years because homosexuality is becoming more acceptable in society. It's having a psychological effect on you because now all of a sudden, it seems like it can be so much more likely that you're gay or bi. In actuality, it's just a result of societal changes. Recognizing that a man is attractive is different from actually being attracted to him. If you have no desire to have sex with men, then you're not gay. That's all you have to figure out. (Hope this helps.)
 

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unless you've been thinking about having sex with a dude, it doesn't seen like you're questioning your sexuality so much as your non-conformity to stupid, and frankly, unrealistic notions of gender roles within society

this this so much this

really be who you are and love who you will, everyone else be damned. gender is but a fallacy created by what society deems acceptable, and if you feel like you don't fit in what's accepted so be it.

Here's a quote I live by and think everyone else should live by as well.

"Be yourself; everyone else is taken." - Oscar Wilde
 

Gray Aria

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What they all said. Questioning sexuality is pretty normal so don't feel weird because of it. For example, I know I'm hetero but sometimes I feel like I might be asexual. But then I see a hot chick walk by in yoga pants and I almost crash my car, so I'm like "Nevermind. Definitely hetero."


kruemelmonster.gif
 

The Conquerer

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Gender concept doesn't always overlap with sexuality. There's this dude I'm cool with in college, his mannerisms are slightly feminine (he hangs out with a lot of girls, so he picks up some traits), but he has a girlfriend and is straight. Based on what you're saying, I don't think you appear effeminate-just not much of a handy man. As others have said, don't get too bogged down by gender roles, humans themselves are composites of many character traits, regardless if they hide them or not.
 

Turn

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unless you've been thinking about having sex with a dude, it doesn't seen like you're questioning your sexuality so much as your non-conformity to stupid, and frankly, unrealistic notions of gender roles within society
thirding this

unless you're leaving something out, all of the things you're talking about have absolutely nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with outdated gender stereotypes
 

Silverslide

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Won't repeat what Sol said, but it happens to every guy.
 

Cosmic+Amarna

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Yeah really everything that has been said. Also I may add, that if you have a friend that is a male it is still possible for you to love dude without being a homosexual. It is a good thing if one can have the capacity to love. Like everyone else has said, what you described isn't really about homosexuality. Unless you are wanting to have sex with your homies, but if not then probably not.
 

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Oh no,

You do housework,

So totally gay.

I'm fourthing what Solar said.
 

Zephyr

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I think that's just a matter of questioning which roles appear more male/female but in reality, that's just what the person wants to do and the perception of what roles appear to be is just a stereotype/generalization. I really don't think this has anything to do with sexuality.
 

Dogenzaka

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what do you masturbate to?

if same sex:
> you're gay
if opposite sex:
> you're straight
if both:
> you're bi
if you own genitals, have no desire for sex/masturbation and you've already experienced puberty:
> you're asexual
if you masturbate to other things:
> you might be a pedo/bestiophile/weirdo
 

Silh

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one time I was balls deep in this dude so I gave him the ol' reach around and he had a hard-on how gay is that
 

Silh

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it's not gay if the balls don't touch
 

Smoofy

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Think about a penis.

Would you let it in your butthole, or suck on it?

No?

You're not gay.

If you ever question your sexuality, ask yourself this, and properly think about it:
"Would I F*ck it or suck it?"

If the answer is no, you're not gay, maybe curious. If that.
 

State

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unless you've been thinking about having sex with a dude, it doesn't seen like you're questioning your sexuality so much as your non-conformity to stupid, and frankly, unrealistic notions of gender roles within society
Right. @_@

The only thing that defines whether or not you're gay is your willingness to develop romantic feelings for and/or have sex with men. It's not about doing housework, so don't let that stress you out. As for questioning it, I think the issue is that a number of people have been coming out of the closet in recent years because homosexuality is becoming more acceptable in society. It's having a psychological effect on you because now all of a sudden, it seems like it can be so much more likely that you're gay or bi. In actuality, it's just a result of societal changes. Recognizing that a man is attractive is different from actually being attracted to him. If you have no desire to have sex with men, then you're not gay. That's all you have to figure out. (Hope this helps.)
Thanks. :)

this this so much this

really be who you are and love who you will, everyone else be damned. gender is but a fallacy created by what society deems acceptable, and if you feel like you don't fit in what's accepted so be it.

Here's a quote I live by and think everyone else should live by as well.

"Be yourself; everyone else is taken." - Oscar Wilde
Mmhmm, in the Finnish culture, there is no sexual distinction. You may have a penis or vagina, but you're still a person, they don't refer to you as male or female, just same (but I assume for legal issues they obviously ask them their gender :v).

What they all said. Questioning sexuality is pretty normal so don't feel weird because of it. For example, I know I'm hetero but sometimes I feel like I might be asexual. But then I see a hot chick walk by in yoga pants and I almost crash my car, so I'm like "Nevermind. Definitely hetero."


kruemelmonster.gif
Pretty much my cases, lol. I've also thought I'm asexual because, since I'm seventeen, I'm a teen, my hormones are on scandal and are used to it. When I don't feel any sexual urges I'm "Asexual lately?", but then I remember that one chick that bellydanced me and go GUNZ-A-BLAZING and just lol at myself like you do. xD

Gender concept doesn't always overlap with sexuality. There's this dude I'm cool with in college, his mannerisms are slightly feminine (he hangs out with a lot of girls, so he picks up some traits), but he has a girlfriend and is straight. Based on what you're saying, I don't think you appear effeminate-just not much of a handy man. As others have said, don't get too bogged down by gender roles, humans themselves are composites of many character traits, regardless if they hide them or not.
Mmhmm.

thirding this

unless you're leaving something out, all of the things you're talking about have absolutely nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with outdated gender stereotypes
Right. :v

Won't repeat what Sol said, but it happens to every guy.
This is one of the problem I get when I question myself things; I think I'M THE ONLY GODDAMN PERSON THAT QUESTIONS MYSELF OVER! :V

Yeah really everything that has been said. Also I may add, that if you have a friend that is a male it is still possible for you to love dude without being a homosexual. It is a good thing if one can have the capacity to love. Like everyone else has said, what you described isn't really about homosexuality. Unless you are wanting to have sex with your homies, but if not then probably not.
Yeah, I've found the love of a brother from one of my closest friends, so much that I don't like calling him a friend but a bro. :]

Oh no,

You do housework,

So totally gay.

I'm fourthing what Solar said.
Thanks for being here. xD

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA YOU'RE GAY LMFAO
A lover of sarcasm and of your jokes (or at least the ones I get). xD

I think that's just a matter of questioning which roles appear more male/female but in reality, that's just what the person wants to do and the perception of what roles appear to be is just a stereotype/generalization. I really don't think this has anything to do with sexuality.
Right.

Lies. I have no doubt that I love pussy.

Nevertheless, just because you prefer housework to labor doesn't make you gay. There are plenty of stay-at-home fathers these days.
Honestly, if I see a pussy, I go BORN-TO-BE-WILD and STILL question myself. :v

I know, I know. Recently, at a radio show, a woman called, the subject was "Why is your husband special". She called because her husband is special for the reason that, she works during the day and he during the afternoon, so when she arrives, everything is in tip-top order (housework).

Think about a penis.

Would you let it in your butthole, or suck on it?

No?

You're not gay.

If you ever question your sexuality, ask yourself this, and properly think about it:
"Would I F*ck it or suck it?"

If the answer is no, you're not gay, maybe curious. If that.
Would I suck it?
No.

Would I kupo it?
Neither.

Have I thought of it?
Yes, and because I think of it, the thought of thinking it is what's torturing me. :v I can't insert in my mind that thinking about homosexual things doesn't define your sexuality, just that you think of it like others do (I repeat, this is mostly because I think I'm the only one that thinks about this sort of things).

Define "curious". :v

And honestly, if I see a man with a nice body, it's because I wish I had his body, not because of attraction. :v I used to see men's legs, but since I've got nice ones, there's no reason to look elsewhere. :v

/edit

Thanks for all your help guys, really appreciate you helping a little ol' seventeen dude that forgets he's always been focused on women. xD
 

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for someone who's not gay you sure are putting a lot of thought into this
 

State

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for someone who's not gay you sure are putting a lot of thought into this

Like I said, I have the bad tendency of thinking things too much, which, in the past, has backfired me and the opposite has occurred. Other than that, I should mention all of this issue is recent, it's not that I've grown with it since a child, just ever since I've looked at guys' body and thinking "I could look better". There are times when I stop looking at them and the questioning stops, but when I do, this happens. =/
 
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