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Fanfiction ► Secret Mission: Summer Vacation

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Riku Fan1415

New member
Sep 22, 2007
The Road to Dawn
She never said she was being harassed, HeartoftheHero did. What Mikoto said was that people were becoming demanding, pressuring her, when it has been stated multiple times before that she cannot write the chapters as fast due to school and other things (if my understanding of the southern hemisphere's reverse seasons is correct, than spring just began for her, making that schoolwork is by far at its hardest, most time consuming stage). She was commited to this story, but had other, more important things to do that had to be done; if you think that writing an online fanfiction should under any circumstances be so important that it be placed before other things such as school, family, etc., then there is obviously something wrong with you. Make no mistake, I am dissapointed, but not with Mikoto, I agree with her decision completely, I would have done the same thing in her position.

Oh and

See, now you're putting words in my mouth. Never did I state that fanfiction was more important that any of those. Also, I pity you if you actually took my posts that you quoted seriously. It shoutld be obvious that I was joking just as much as the next person while I was waiting for the next update. If you honestly think I was being impatient, then I pity you.

The Dream

Oh no, not me, I never lost control
Apr 5, 2008
Under this bed
Could you stop guys stop fighting and just leave this thread to rest?
It's not gonna get new chapters so take your argument elsewere


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
Hey guys. I know it's been soo long but I read through this thread last night and I felt bad about abandonning you all. I did feel pressured at the time when i was writing this Fan Fiction but then I remembered how much fun it was reading all your comments and I was getting good feedback at the time. It wasn't just "OMG THAT WAS LIEK SOO COOL" but you all gave really good feedback and constructive critism and that helped me a lot. I have continued writing Secret Mission: Summer Vacation and I have decided that I'll post new chapters and continue. Though I will probably update slowly because nowadays I've been a busy person. I know you've forgotten about this but I just thought that I should continue what I've started. So here's Chapter 4

Chapter 4: My idol is my teacher?

Day 15

Beach house: 8:30 pm

It seemed like it was going to be another boring day. Ever since they moved into this beach house Kuri and Ed have been visiting non-stop. They've been finishing off their coffee and candy, arguing and breaking the computer. Occasionally their other friends have been visiting and Xemnas had been trying to tackle Riku if he came anywhere near Xion. Of course Scarlet and Neko having been coming over (un invited) and scaring the hell out of them.

It was night and the organization (minus Xion and Zexion) seemed to have had a quarrel because they summoned their weapons. Zexion looked up from his book to watch the scene and Xion looked up from her DSi.

"You guys have gone too far!!" Larxene yelled. "Prepare for a butt whooping"

"You don't have the guts," Axel taunted.

"Oh yeah! I will kick your (assassin) this time" Xigbar smirked.

"I dare you to" Demyx taunted.

"Bring it on punks" Vexen taunted.

"I will assure you…I am going to win" Marluxa grinned.

"Oh no you won't" Roxas smirked.

"I have nothing to do with this" Saix barked.

"You're forgetting who I am" Xemnas grinned.

"I don't care if you're the superior! I'm going to kick your (assassin)" Lexeaus smirked.

"I believe I will be the one to 'kick the superior's (assassin)" Luxord grinned.

"You're all going down!!!" Xaldin announced.

"Pizza delivery!" a familiar silver haired boy announced. The organization got rid of their weapons and Xemnas opened the door

"What's this?" Xemnas questioned. "I thought we ordered the supreme!!! NOT HAWAIIAN!!!"

"Oops s-sorry sir" Vaan stuttered

"This will do" Zexion payed the delivery boy. "Besides I hate olives…VAAN?!!!"

"Zexion?! I didn't know you lived here"

"Who's wanna be blondie?" Axel asked.

"Vaan, I go to your school." Vaan said with a bit of sarcasm in his voice

Zexion smirked. "I see you've become a pizza delivery boy now"

Vaan angrily pouted. "It's only part-time and it's for Strahl Pizza Palace!"

"I HATE PINAPPLE!!!" Xemnas screamed


Vaan ran away from the crazy people. Zexion sighed and wondered how he managed to get stuck with 13 other crazy people. Xion could be sane at times but when she has coffee she's just as bad as the rest of them.

"Scaring the delivery boy?" Ed asked.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?" Everyone screamed.

"You could get robbed y'know. You guys leave the back door wide open, anyone can enter"

"We have a back door?" Demyx asked and everyone sweat dropped.

"Yeah…how else do you think we've been getting in?"

"I don't know" Axel said sarcastically. "You crazy kids could always knock or ring the door bell"

"But we like scaring you" Neko smiled.


"It's a secret" Neko smiled.

"Neko, they already know about how we've been getting in" Ed sighed.

"YOU SON OF A (berserker) WHY DID YOU TELL THEM?!!!" Neko screamed and a flaming aura surrounded her.

"I only came for the sugar"




Ed and Neko had a glaring competition when out of nowhere the real L came into the house, stole the sugar and left.

"Was that? L?" Kuri asked.


"Back door? Where's the coffee?"

"We better lock the door before Scarlet comes" Demyx warned.

"Right!" Roxas nodded and locked the back door. He sighed with relief until.

"Hello" Scarlet smirked.


"How does a boy like you have such a high pitched scream?" Scarlet said blocking her ears. "Oh and Xion this came in the mail"

Xion grabbed the letter and gasped. "Dear Miss Lu. We'd like to congratulate you on winning our competition and we'd wish for you to invite up to 10 friends for a tour around the set of…Phynal Phantasy!!! OH MY GOD!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!"

"What's Phynal Phantasy?" Roxas asked.

"Just one of Shortie and Dwarf Princess's favourite soap operas" Larxene explained.

"awwww not a soap opera!" Demyx whined. "They're so predictable. Someone moves into the neighbourhood, falling in love, getting married, having an affair, someone gets pregnant; a psychopath wants to murder someone, baby is born, baby gets taken away by the same psychopath, love comes back, someone loses their memory, someone seeks revenge, someone dies, the evil twin comes back to avenge them…"

"Okay we get it! Soap operas suck!!" Ed rolled his eyes.

"Not the Russian ones, they at least have the mafia and a gunfire scene every episode," Neko answered.

"ooooooh I'd love to see that" Kuri smiled.


"I'm still here," Scarlet muttered. The organization screamed in fear.

"Come over to destiny studios on Tuesday at 12pm" Xion read a loud. "Oh god it's tomorrow! I've got to find 10 friends to take" She looked towards everyone. "Hmmm"

"Um…uh…BYE!!" Scarlet ran out of the house.

"WAIT UP!!" Neko, Kuri and Ed screamed and chased after Scarlet.

"FOR ONCE I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!" Axel yelled but he crashed into the door.

"Good news…they're gone" Vexen mumbled. "Bad news…we have to go to a soap opera set"

Day 16

8 am

Zexion was sleeping peacefully on a fine morning. His eyes fluttered and he turned around only to see Xion staring at him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Morning!" Xion sung. "Wow you have such a high pitched scream"

"DON'T DO THAT!!!" He yelled. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!"

"We're going on the Phynal Phantasy tour today"

Zexion looked at his alarm clock "IT'S 8 AM!! LET ME SLEEP!!!"

"C'mon Zexion!!" Xion hopped onto his bed and tried to drag him out.


"What's going on?" Larxene entered the room and her eyes widened. "WHOA, maybe spoon head isn't the one the superior should be worrying about"

"EEHHH?!!" they yelled at the same time.

"THAT'S GROSS!!" Xion shuddered. "I MEAN IT'S… ZEXION!!!!"

"This is a misunderstanding!" Zexion yelled. It didn't help that he only wore pants to bed. "She was only waking me up to go to that stupid soap opera tour"

"Soap opera's are not stupid!!" Xion yelled.

"Soap opera tour?" Larxene questioned. "Oh no! THAT WAS TODAY!!"

"Yep!" Xion smiled. "I locked the doors this morning so no one can escape"


"Guys?" Demyx asked. "Where are the superior and the other old men…WHOA!! ZEXION!! HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING OUT?!"


"OH MY GOD!! WHAT'S YOU'RE SECRET!!" Axel screamed.

"…I'm putting on a shirt!" Zexion growled.

"Now that I think about it…it's only us six that are here" Larxene said.

Flash back: 5 am

Xemnas crept out of the window and down to the front yard. "I love my daughter and all but I hate soap operas," Xemnas said.

"Superior!" the other members hissed.

"What are you doing?!" he yelled.

"shhhh!! We're escaping as well!!" Vexen explained.

"Where's No. 6, 8, 9, 12 and 13?"

"Well, we tried waking them up" Marluxia's eyes shifted. "But they sleep like logs"

"Oh alright! C'mon!"

"Who cares about those young whippersnappers anyway?" Vexen thought.

Flash back end

"They probably escaped" Axel explained.



"Hmm?" Xigbar looked around attentively.

"What is it?" Luxord asked

"I felt a sudden chill"

"So did I" Lexeaus said.

"Hmm?" Xemnas looked around attentively.

"Are you feeling that sudden chill?" Xigbar asked?

"No…my father senses are tingling. It seems as though Larxene wants to kill us, Zexion's being admired for his hot body and my other children are in distress"

"It's probably that sudden chill" Xaldin said.


Beach house

The doorbell rung. "Hello? Anyone there?" Helga asked. "The door seems to be chained shut"

"I'll get it!" Xion ran down the stairs and unlocked the door. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

"Oh yeah, almost forgot about Helga" Axel groaned.

"Where're your father and uncles?" Helga asked.

"They escaped" Xion explained


"I won a tour around the set of Phynal Phantasy"

Helga's eyes widened. "OH MY GOD!! I LOVE THAT SHOW!! I LOVE ALL SOAP OPERAS!!"

Roxas, Axel, Demyx, Larxene and Zexion were frozen in fear. "She likes soap operas?!!"

"I'm supposed to take 10 friends but I only have 5 with me right now"

"I'll come!"

"This is the worst day ever," Roxas thought.

"Cool! That makes it 6, I need 4 more people" Xion thought for a moment. "Kairi would love to come!"

12 pm: Destiny Studio

"Why am I here again ya?" Wakka asked.

"Cause Kairi, Xion and that creepy lady threatened us," Sora explained.

"Her name is Helga" Riku explained.

"Suits her well," Sora and Wakka laughed but when Helga gave them a death glare they froze.

"Hey you weren't threatened ya" Wakka whined.

"Well…Xion gave me the puppy eyes and I couldn't resist" A blush appeared on his face.

"Weak" Wakka yelled.

"Baka!" Riku hit wakka's head.

"WELCOME!!" A random man yelled. "MY NAME IS-

"Hey aren't you Auron…the school's janitor?" Roxas asked.

"Uh…no" Auron…I mean the man said. "My name is…Aurn"

"Okay…Aurn" Axel raised a brow. "Show us the way"


While the demon sisters were at their house 'hiding from Xion's evil wrath' Neko realised something. "Hey Scarlet"

"Hmm" Scarlet looked up from her DSi.

"Dad forgot his lunch" Neko pointed at Sephiroth's blue lunch box.

"So he has"

"Let's deliver it to him!"

"Do we have to?"

"But scarlet! This is food! We can't get him to reject food…it's like me trying to give up lollipops! Its unbearable and poor dad is going to starve to death" Neko starting crying.

Scarlet rolled her eyes. "Oh fine"


Destiny studio

Auro- Aurn was giving them a tour around destiny studios. Everyone besides Xion and Kairi still suspected that Aurn was their school janitor but they shrugged it off. "And here is the set of our new crime TV show 'Ice cream mafia' staring Ventus Hikari"

"Ventus Hikari?! From TAV?!!" Larxene screamed.

"Why yes"

Larxene, Kairi and Xion squealed while the others rolled their eyes except for Roxas who wondered if Ven would spot him. Ven turned around and yes he did find Roxas and he paused.

"CUT!" the director yelled. "Ven why did you stop?!"

"IT'S MY CLONE!!" Ven pointed at Roxas. "HI!!" Roxas hid behind Axel. "aww don't be shy!" Ven cooed.

The director scratched his chin. "Is he supposed to be your stunt double"

"I don't know. He looks just like me! Although he's more baby faced"


"Nuh uh! You're more baby faced! You're still in high school"

"Well you look like you walked out of an ancient civilisation exhibit but you don't see me complaining about it" Roxas smirked.

"Oh no he didn't!" Everyone chorused.

"Okay that does it!" Ven rolled up his sleeves. "I don't know who you are but I want to know why you're being a big fat meanie head!!"

"Big…fat…meanie…head?" Everyone thought.

"It's because you're a popular celebrity that I can't go out by myself without girls trying to molest me!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN FEAR OF BEING MOLESTED EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!!"

"Uh yeah…I'm Ventus Hikari. I get that all the time," Ven said with sarcasm in his voice.

"Yeah but at least you know they're your fans! I don't even know what these chicks want with me"

The director of Ice cream mafia grinned mischievously. "Someone film this! We can bring him in as an evil twin brother"

"Uh sir? This isn't a soap opera," the cameraman said

"WHO CARES!! THIS IS GOLD!!" The director dragged Roxas away from his group. "YOU ARE PERFECT!!!"

Everyone cocked his or her head to the side. "Did Roxas just get kidnapped by a TV show director?" Demyx asked

"I think so…ya" Wakka answered

"Moving on" Aurn announced and everyone else followed him.

Outside Destiny Studios

Neko and Scarlet walked along the footpath with Sephiroth's lunch box. "Where does dad work during summer vacation?" Neko asked.

"Hmm if I remember correctly he worked here," Scarlet pointed at Destiny Studios. "My information source tells me he works at one of the offices"

"Maybe he's an actor" Neko suggested. "Or a director"

"I highly doubt dad's an actor" Scarlet rolled her eyes and walked up to the information office. "Excuse me?"

"Hello there! Are you here for the tour of Phynal Phantasy" the man behind the desk asked.

"No we're delivering this lunch box to Sephiroth Jenova…our dad"

"PFFT AS IF YOU'RE SEPHY G ROTH'S KIDS" the man laughed but once Scarlet got out her gun he froze.

"Listen here! You let us in and let us give our dad his lunch box or this bullet will find its sneaky little way between your eyes!!" He gulped and showed them the way.

"Sephy G Roth?" Neko asked.

"Who knows" Scarlet said.

Phynal Phantasy

Everyone had finally reached the set of Phynal Phantasy and they could believe their eyes when they saw it. "Is that…Mr. Strife?" Larxene asked. He did look like Cloud Strife but his hair was a lot neater.

"No way, Mr. Strife's hair is spikier" Sora said.

"This is Kumo Strife. He plays Dr. Fenrir. The main character" Xion explained

Axel pointed at a familiar black haired woman. "Is that Miss Lockhart?" It did look like Tifa Lockhart but her hair was curly.

"That's Tina Lockethart. She plays Emily the nurse" Kairi explained

The director yelled action and they played the dramatic scene.

"I'm sorry Emily. We can't be together. I'm engaged"

"B-b-but Flynn"

"It's an arranged marriage I can't get out of this. There's nothing I can do"


"Please! It's Dr. Fenrir to you. Good bye… Emily"

"llllaaaaaaaame" Demyx whispered.

"sshhh!!" Kairi, Xion and Helga glared at him and then continued to watch this lame scene.

"CUT!" The director called. "Well done Kumo and Tina. Excellent performance"

"Thank you" Kumo smiled.

"He seriously looks like our science teacher" Zexion said.

"I guess some people are born to be celebrity look-a-likes…look at Roxas" Riku explained. "He looks exactly like Ventus Hikari but they aren't related at all…or are they"

Dum dum duuuuuuuuum

"Where did THAT come from?" Riku asked. The guys + Larxene shrugged.

"Well done you two!" Aurn congratulated them. "Now let me introduce you to these kids. One of them won the prize"

Kumo and Tina's eyes widened. "Nice to meet you all. Now which one of you was the prize winner?"

"ME! ME! ME!!" Xion jumped up and down like an excited little puppy waiting for someone to throw the ball. Everyone else rolled their eyes except for Helga and Kairi.

"What's your name?" Tina's eyes shifted.

"It's Xion"

"Nice to meet you Xion" Kumo smiled. Xion was struggling to hold in her squeal. Larxene dragged her away from the stars.

"C'mon Shortie they're filming the next scene. You coming or what?"

"Fine!" Xion rolled her eyes.


Once again they saw more actors that looked like their teachers. There was one actor called Zackery Just who looked just Mr. Fair who works in the kitchens, Aeris Gainsborrow who looked like Aerith Gainsborough the secretary, George Rhapsody you looked like Mr. Rhapsodos their English/Drama teacher, Angel Henry who looked like Mr. Hewly who also worked in the kitchens and Sephy G Roth who looked a lot like their principal Sephiroth. Zackary played a happy-go-lucky doctor by the name of Dr. Nick, Aeris played Dr. Lillie Parker, George played the head surgeon Dr. Loveless, Angel played Emily's father and Sephy G Roth played the head doctor Dr. Phil.

"DOESN'T ANY OF THIS LOOK SUSPCIOUS TO YOU!!!" Axel yelled to the soap opera fans.

"What?" Xion asked.

"They all look like our teachers or cleaners"

"Hmm well not really"


"Gooooood morning Lils!"

"Morning Dr. Nick" Dr. Parker rolled her eyes and continued walking. Dr. Nick followed behind

"Oh c'mon Lils you can call me Nick! We've known each other for a long time now"

"Yes but I'm still mad at you! You kissed my sister"

"I was drunk. I didn't mean too"

"You still kissed her! Do you have any idea how much that hurt?" Dr. Parker stormed off wiping away some tears.

"Lllllaaaaammmeee" Demyx said. Helga grabbed him by his collar.


"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yes" Demyx squeaked.

"Good" Helga dropped him and continued watching the show.

"What's going on here?" Dr. Phil asked

"Nothing sir" Dr. Nick answered and tried to laugh his way out of it. "Uh… nothing to worry about"

"Good! The last thing I need is another office affair" Dr. Phil growled. "This is a hospital damn it!"

"Office affair?" Dr. Nick asked himself.

"Yeah the one between Nurse Emily and Dr. Fenrir" Dr. Loveless answered appearing out of no where


"Apparently he was already engaged but have you seen his fiancé…she's such a (berserker) But she is hot and rich so that's probably why he's marrying her"

"um…we're doctors…we get paid heaps"

"Well apparently Dr. Fenrir has a huge debt to pay to loan sharks"

"Loan sharks?"

"CUT!" The director yelled. "Zackary! You're the hyper doctor. You've got to say it with more surprise"

"Right! I'll do that again" Zackary sweat dropped.


"Well apparently Dr. Fenrir has a huge debt to pay to loan sharks"



"Why am I doing this?" Zackary asked himself.

"Even the actors think this is (shadow)" Axel smirked but then Helga grabbed him by the collar.



Scarlet and Neko walk towards the set and noticed several familiar faces. "Hey what are you doing here?"

Everyone turned around and saw Scarlet and Neko. "WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!!"

"okay this time we didn't know you were all here" Scarlet explained. "we came to deliver dad's lunchbox…where ever he is"

"That's a rap everyone. Good job" The director called. The actors sighed with relief.

"Hey why are our teachers acting in a soap opera?" Neko asked.

"Neko, those aren't our teachers" Xion explained.

"Yes they are! That's Mr. Strife over there" She pointed at Kumo Strife.

"As if a science teacher acts in a soap opera," Kairi laughed until she saw Kumo strife ruffling his blonde hair and it spiked up. He also took off his glasses.

"EEEEEEEEHHH?!!!!" Kairi and Xion yelled at the same time. "It is Mr. Strife"

"You never noticed?" Larxene asked.

"What about the other actors?" Xion asked. She looked towards the other actors. Tina was straightening her hair, Aeris was putting up her hair with her pink ribbon and taking off her glasses, Zackery was styling his hair like Mr. Fair's, George took off HIS glasses, Angel took off his leather jacket and wiped off some make up that made his face look like it was scared and Sephy. G. roth took off his wig.

"DAD?!!!" Scarlet and Neko yelled in unison.


"Curses my information source was wrong" Scarlet muttered. "I thought he worked at one of the offices. Looks like we'll have to deal with My info source later"

The actors all turned around to look at their stunned faces. "You didn't notice?" Genesis Rhapsodos asked. "Even the tour guide works at destiny high"

"I KNEW IT!!" Axel yelled and pointed at Aurn. "I KNEW YOU WERE AURON!!!"

"oh shut up" Auron growled.

"Wait if your teacher then why are you acting in a soap opera?" Sora asked.

"We don't get payed during summer vacation" Aerith explained

"oooh" Everyone chorused.

"OH MY GOD!! YOU KNOW THEM?!!!" Helga yelled. The actors/teachers twitched.

"Why are you kids travelling with a scary lady?" Zack Fair asked. Helga shot him a glare and he froze in fear.

"You idiot you don't say things like that" Angeal yelled and whacked him over the head.

"My darling children!" Sephiroth smiled. "You brought me my lunch box. How sweet of you! You may buy an ice cream" He gave Neko some munny.

"Dad we get more than enough money with all the illleagal-I mean part time work we do." Scarlet explained

"But this is more honest."

"Fine," Scarlet sighed. "Neko you buy the ice cream I'm going to blow up a certain contact of mine."

"YAY!!" Neko cheered. "Blowing up information source and buying ice cream!"

"Wait what?"



Aug 2, 2008
At my house with Riku, Saix, and Zexion, rocking t
Welcome back, Mikito!!! I am so glad to see you back and updating!!! Okay, that was very funny. All of the teachers, lunch workers, and janitors working as soap opera stars made me crack up laughing; it was so hilarious. Also, I am really glad to see Vaan in the story; he is one of my favorite characters. How does Zexion know him? I'm just curious. Anyway, great job, and I look forward to more.


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
Chapter 5: Of pirates and pizzas and payslips and…Moogles?

Day 21

Kairi, Xion and Selphie: the beach

It was a nice and warm day in destiny islands. It wasn't warm enough to go to the beach so it was almost empty. Only three girls were there and they weren't in their swimsuits so they didn't go to the water. They just lay on the shore in the warmth of the sunlight. Not a care in the world.

"I need a job," Kairi said.

Well maybe there were some problems.

"Why do you need a job?" Selphie asked.

"My parents aren't paying for my credit card bills anymore" Kairi sighed. "Aaaahh all those clothes"

"This wouldn't have happened if you didn't buy that designer dress? I could get the same thing at a regular factory outlet for a quarter of the price" Selphie smirked.

"Xion what do you think?"

"She has a point" Xion smirked.

"Say that's a cute top? Where did you get it?"

"It's a hand-me-down from Larxene?"

"Where did she get it?" Kairi said getting curious

"…City Stop for 1500 munny" Xion gulped.



"AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!" Kairi screamed and almost fainted "what did I do to deserve this?"

"She's not having a good day is she?" Selphie asked and Xion shrugged.


"Don't drag them into your credit card troubles!!" Xion thought.

Beach house

"No way dwarf princess" Larxene growled while trying to find more

"Nuh uh" Axel said lazily while watching TV

"Naaaah" Roxas said while also watching TV

"No~" Demyx said while strumming his sitar

"This is karma Kairi! Deal with it" Zexion explained.

Kairi went on her hands and knees and begged. "PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE I'M DESPERATE!!!" you could almost see tears streaming down her cheek.

Suddenly a dark yet familiar aura surrounded them "are you 5 rejecting a poor girl?" Helga asked.

"She bought too many designer clothes and her parents ain't paying for her credit card bill so she's getting a job. But there's no way we're going to help her with that we get dragged into too many of your troubles" Larxene explained. "And when I say 'your troubles' I say it in a plural. We get stuck with the demons, the detectives, mafias, Yakuza, Fan girls/boys, Hate club, defense force, TAV and Disney!"

"DISNEY!!" Demyx screamed and hid behind the couch.

"And it's all because this man blew up the Science lab" She pointed at Axel angrily. "My point is that all we asked for is a quiet vacation. Where we don't have to deal with anyone's problems and kick back and relax!!!"

A flaming aura surrounded Helga "DON'T MAKE ME WHACK YOU WITH THE BROOM!!"

"Seriously Larxene" Roxas warned. "Remember what she did to that wall with a mop" He pointed at the newly fixed wall.

Larxene's eyes widened. "Alright we'll help!!"

"Yay!!" Kairi cheered.

Everyone else groaned but when Helga shot them another glare they froze. "What do you want us to do?" Axel asked.

"Oh y'know check out these places with help wanted signs on them"

"That's easy" Xion smiled.

Strahl Pizza Palace

Three other students from Destiny High worked in Strahl pizza palace. Vaan was the class clown in 10 B and he always yelled random stuff in the classroom like "I'm captain Basche" but since none of the characters I have mentioned so far were in his homeroom he was never brought up until now. Penelo is part of the exchange student fan club. She's a Roxas fan but only because he looks like Ven from TAV and then there was Ashe, also known as "princess" because she sure acts like one. The three students worked for Balthier. A very strange man who liked to fiddle with his shirt cuffs.

"Welcome to Strahl Pizza Palace" Ashe sighed. "How can I help you?"


"I would like a large supreme pizza, one Hawaiian-

15 pizzas later

"Um sir? Isn't that a lot of pizza?" Penelo asked.

"Nah! This is for all the crime organizations in the universe. Lots of mouths to feed yeah?" McKenzie from the Gelato Family explained.

"Okay then!" Balthier grinned and gave the order to the chef whose eyes widened.

"Remind me again why we're working here?" Ashe asked.

"Well, we get munny, we get cheap pizza and our boss is secretly a pirate" Vaan grinned but then two men got up from their seats and stormed towards Balthier.

"Right Balthier! You're under arrest," One of them said sternly.

"GOD DAMN IT VAAN!!" Balthier yelled. "THAT'S THE 15TH TIME YOU'VE DONE THAT THIS YEAR!!! He grabbed a rifle that was hanging from the kitchens. "Now about that pirate thing"

Kairi and Roxas: Outside Strahl Pizza

Kairi observed a Help Wanted sign. "No experience needed just come and apply. This doesn't seem like a bad place"

Roxas shrugged. "Let's check it out"

When they walked in and saw screaming people and Balthier holding a rifle towards two policemen, they walked out straight away.

Axel, Sora and Zexion: McMoogles

"Welcome to McMoogles" The moogle smiled. "How can I help you kupo?"

"Oh great it's a freaking moogle," Axel groaned.

"What do you expect? It's McMoogles!" Zexion muttered.

"I thought McMoogles was a place where you EAT moogles"

"KUPO?!!" The moogle panicked.

"I'm just kidding" Axel laughed.

The moogle sighed with relief. "Oh good, you scared me kupo"

Axel gave the moogle a menacing smile. "Though you do look rather tasty"

The moogle backed away from Axel and talked to his boss. "Boss. That man wants to eat us" the McMoogles manager walked towards Axel.


"WHAT?!! I DIDN'T EVEN TRY YOUR BURGERS" suddenly he was dragged away by a whole bunch of moogles. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!" Zexion face palmed.

"Now kupo?" The moogle asked. "How may I help you?"

Zexion grabbed his wallet. "I may as well get a medium Big Moog meal and a medium McNugget meal with two large chocolate sundaes. What do you want Sora?"

"May I have a Large McChocobo meal to go?" Sora grinned.

"And what drink would you like with that kupo?"

Demyx, Xion and Riku: Wonderland Diner

"Why did we have to come here?" Demyx asked.

"Kairi wants us to check it out" Riku explained

"It was just a dream, it was only a dream" Xion said to herself and continued clinging onto Riku while keeping her eyes closed.

"Xion… its wonderland diner. It's a nice place there's nothing to worry about" Riku reassured.

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!" The queen of hearts screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Xion screamed and ran out of the diner. Riku sighed and followed her out.

"Is there something wrong with her?" The queen of hearts asked. Demyx shrugged. The Queen of hearts sat down next to Demyx and put her arm around his shoulders. "So…come around here often?" Demyx gulped.

"ALICE!!!" He yelled.

"ALICE?!!! WHERE IS SHE?!!!" The queen fist pumped in fury but when she turned around Demyx was gone. "Where did that pretty boy go?"

Kairi, Larxene and Roxas: Le chat noir Café

"Hmm…would this be a good place for you?" Roxas asked. Observing all the waitresses in maid costumes.

"Oh! Em! Gee! These costumes are cute" Kairi smiled.

"Sure this is a good place if you want to see pervy men drool all over you" Larxene pointed at a group of guys from their school. "look at these guys"

There were six familiar faces all right. Two of those guys were from the hate club two of them were from the disciplinary committee and two of them were the demon brothers. Cobalt couldn't help but drool at all the cute girls in the maid costumes while the others felt un-easy about coming here.

"Tidus! You have to get over Yuna!" Leon growled. "She's on the enemies side"

"B-b-b-b-but! I-I-I-I-IT'S YUNA!!!"


"I get it but why are we at a maid café?" Tidus asked.

"This is Cobalt's favorite café" Inu explained.

Seifer face palmed. "Of course a place like THIS would be Cobalt's favorite spot"

"He is the biggest perv in the school y'know," Rai explained.

Roxas observed the six boys. "I think I've seen these guys somewhere"

"They're the hate club guys" Kairi rolled her eyes.


Larxene rolled her eyes and looked around the café and she spotted another familiar faces. "Is that Selphie?"

"HEY SELPH SELPH!!" Kairi waved.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!!" Selphie growled.

"I didn't know you worked here," Kairi said. "Don't you think you're a little scary to work here?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!" She growled.

"Oh puh-lease dwarf princess" Larxene smirked. "Selphie ain't scary at all. Now Helga! That is one scary maid" She shivered. "Just thinking about her makes me shiver"

"Fuu works here too y'know" Selphie pointed at Fuu wearing a maid costume.

"Awww she's so cute!" Kairi squealed.

"Fuu? Who's that?" Roxas asked.

"She's the only one out of Seifer's gang who weren't sent to hospital. She's very smart though. She's won a lot of academic awards. I don't know why a girl like her is hanging out with such losers," Kairi explained.

Fuu didn't realise that she was heading towards the hate club's table to take their order. "Welcome to Le Chat Noir café" She said with a warm smile and a sweet voice. "How may I help you?"

Seifer and Rai gulped and felt a twitch under their eyes. "F-F-F-Fuu?"

"Seifer?! Rai?!!" Fuu blushed madly but then a flaming aura surrounded her.

"This isn't good" Kairi said.

"Why's that?" Roxas asked.

"When she's not with Rai or Seifer she's innocent but when she's with them she's so bad-(assassin)" Selphie explained. "Now that Seifer and Rai have seen her in a dress…this won't be good"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!!" Fuu yelled.

"We didn't know you worked here y'know!" Rai panicked. They both have never seen her THIS angry. All the other guys hid under the table.

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" She screamed and pushed them out the door and slammed it shut. Seifer and Rai sat up rubbing their heads in agony.

"I've never seen her like this y'know" Rai said rubbing the back of his head.

"I'm a little turned on" Seifer grinned but then Rai shot him a glare. "Let's pretend we never saw her in that costume," Seifer suggested.

"Good idea y'know!"

Larxene, Kairi and Roxas decided this wasn't a very good place to work so they left. Tidus, Leon, Cobalt and Inu sat back on their chairs after Seifer and Rai were kicked out. Leon was the only one on the table who noticed them leave. "The exchange students were here"


Cobalt smirked. "Who wouldn't come here?" he continued drooling over the waitresses.

"Mmm this coffee is good" Kuri smiled.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!!!" Tidus, Inu, Leon and Cobalt yelled in unison.

Both Kuri and Ed were sitting where Seifer and Rai were. They ordered lots of coffee and lots of cake.

"Oh why can't I say hello to my fellow classmates" Kuri grinned and finished her 10th cup of coffee.

"Hey Tidus! Haven't seen you for a while" Ed waved starting on his 11th slice of cake. "What happened at school while I was gone?"

"Well a whole heap of stuff actually" Inu explained.

"Yeah. Two of the exchange students blew up the science lab, Their uncles and dad started working as teachers, I started a hate club because they burnt my hair, they aligned themselves with the demon sisters, your sister became the captain of the exchange student defense force, Riku stopped being a womanizer and started dating Xion who's one of the exchange students and I can't date Yuna because she's in the defense force. Yeah this year's been pretty (shadow)"

"That's too bad" Ed smirked.

Suddenly one of the waitresses came over to their table. "Here's your bill" The hate club stared at Kuri and Ed.

"Hey look it's Yuna!" Kuri pointed at a random direction.

"WHERE?!!" Tidus and Leon yelled and the two detectives ran out as fast as possible.

"GET BACK HERE!!" Inu yelled and chased after them along with Cobalt. The waitress shrugged.

"I supposed you'll be paying for this" She handed Tidus the bill and his eyes widened and he screamed as loud as he could.


Rikku, Yuna Paine: Strahl Pizza

"Now that we're officially part of their group it's going to get confusing with Riku and Rikku" Yuna said. "We should give them code names"

"Spoon head and Bimbo" Paine suggested

"Spoon Head and Sexay!" Rikku suggested.

"Spoon head and Barbie" Rikku glared at Paine.

"Spoon head and Little Hawty" Rikku suggested

"I like Barbie" Yuna said. "You kind of look like one"

"EWWW!!" Rikku whined. "I hate it though"

"Do you think Spoon head likes his name?"


"Barbie it is" Paine smirked. "Now let's get some pizza I'm hungry" As soon as they walked in Balthier faced a rifle towards them. The three girls stared at the rifle for a few seconds and sped off right away. Balthier then realised that they were only harmless customers.

"WAIT!!! COME BACK!!!" Balthier screamed and then threw a temper tantrum. "I WANT MY MUNNYS!!!"

Somewhere near the shopping district

Kairi sighed. "I hope the others found a good job offer"

"Well Le chat Noir didn't seem so bad" Roxas said.

"You little pervert!" Larxene yelled.

"What did I do?" Roxas asked.

"You only like it because of the waitresses!!"

"It's not that!" Roxas yelled. Axel, Zexion and Sora walked towards them eating McMoogles.

"Mmm these burgers are good" Axel grinned interrupting their argument. "Too bad I got banned"

"This wouldn't have happened if you didn't terrorize the moogles," Zexion groaned taking a sip out of his drink afterwards.

"So?" Kairi asked.

"What?" Axel asked.

"The job offer?" Larxene glared. "Did you find out?"

"Yep!" Sora grinned after taking a bite out of his burger. "They only hire moogles"

Kairi felt a twitch under her eye. "They only hire moogles?!! THEY ARE FOREIGNERS!! WHY DON'T THEY HIRE LOCAL PEOPLE!!"

"It IS McMoogles" Zexion said. "Besides I saw the kitchens…they're tiny. Not even Xion can fit in there"

"I HEARD THAT!!" Xion yelled running up towards them.

"So?" Kairi asked with a little desperation in her voice. "How's the job offer?"

"What job offer?" Xion asked.

"That's why I asked you to check wonderland diner"

"WONDERLAND!!! AAAHH!!!" She screamed and started to panic and then Larxene whacked her on the back of her head. "Ooww"

"Good you're calm" Larxene smirked. Riku ran towards them and tried catching his breath. "DUDE?!" Larxene screamed. "Who's the man in the relationship?"

"Uh…me" Riku answered. Larxene pushed Xion towards him and he caught her.

"Take better care of your woman she's going nuts!!!"

"But it was wonderland" Xion shivered.

"So?" Roxas said. "It's just a story that was made into lots of movies. You didn't mind it until we did that project and you went missing in the library"

"You have no idea what goes on in that crazy world" Xion shuddered.

"AAAAAHH!!" Demyx screamed and crashed into Larxene.


"THE QUEEN OF HEARTS WAS HITTING ON ME!!!" Demyx yelled. "IT WAS HORRIBLE!!" Larxene whacked him on the back of the head.

"STOP BEING A WUSS!!" She yelled. Kairi's palm met her face.

"It's hopeless" She said and wandered away from her group. Everyone kind of felt bad about it as they watched her walk off.

"So…the queen of hearts ay?" Axel grinned. "That's gotta give you nightmares" Everyone stared at Axel.

"C'mon guys!" Sora suggested. "We've got to help Kairi!"

"Why?" Zexion asked.

"She's our friend!"

"You have the hots!" Riku taunted. "C'mon you've had a crush on her since we were kids" Sora blushed right away.

"I DO NOT!! Anyway we're going to help her find a job! WHO'S WITH ME?!"

"YEAH!!" Everyone besides Zexion yelled until suddenly Kairi appeared with a grin on her face.

"Don't worry guys I got a good job offer! I have an interview on Tuesday!" She beamed and skipped off to the horizon. Everyone glanced at each other.

"That was quick" Zexion said breaking the silence.

"Yeah…" Roxas said.

"Wanna go to my place and order take out?" Sora asked. Everyone shrugged and followed Sora still wondering how Kairi got a job offer that quick and wondering what type of noodles or fried rice they wanted to order.



Aug 2, 2008
At my house with Riku, Saix, and Zexion, rocking t
Another funny chapter. Man, that place has some weird restaurants. Balthier is running a pizza place, Moggles are running a burger joint, girls are dressing up like sexy maids at a cafe, and a Wonderland-based diner. Seriously, crazy. So, how did Kairi get a job so fast? That was weird. Anyway, great job, and I look forward to more.


Sep 25, 2010
Your chapters are so awesome :) keep it up there great chapters, there so funny and awesome.


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
hey thanks for the reviews guys :D

This chapter was based on my trouble of finding a job. I've found one but I don't start working til next month....no munnys for me


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
Chapter 6: Kuri's Coffee Withdrawal

Day 27

"Tis not one of those days where you expect something terrible to happen. Tis not one of those days where you suspect something bad to happen. Tis no-"

"Uh Xemnas those two sentences mean the same thing" Lexeaus corrected.

"oh shut up No.5"


"Starting you off" Xemnas shrugged.

Well don't! I'm the authoress here

"Well I'm the superior!" Xemnas boasted when suddenly a flying TV hit him on the head. "OWW!! Who threw that Panasonic 45 inch LCD?" Then Xemnas threw in a wide toothy smile and two thumbs up.

"sublimanaladvertisingwasnotadvised " Xigbar said very quickly.

"Damn it!" Xemnas cursed. "How do you do this?"

I'm the authoress I can control you and make you do what ever I want. Now shut up and let me start this story.

11:30: Seaside Café

Kuri had managed to drag out her brother, the exchange students and their friends to go to her favorite café. What they didn't know was that one of them worked there.

"Kuri?" Xion asked. "I barely see you hang out with Yuna, Rikku and Paine anymore now that your brother's back. How come?"

"Well mum wants me to take him outside because he's such a computer addict and I also fear for his life" Kuri replied

"What?" Everyone cocked their heads to the side

"You'll find out next chapter"

"Next chapter?"


"Welcome to the seaside café. May I take your order?" Kairi asked.

There was a mixture of screams of "Kairi?!" and "Dwarf Princess?!!" coming from the exchange students and friends table.

"You guys?!!" Kairi yelled in surprise.

"You work here?!!… ya" Wakka asked adding that extra 'ya' to his question.

"Yeah didn't you know that?"

"I knew you had a job but you never told us what it was," Demyx said.

"You never asked" Kairi sweat dropped.

"Okay enough with the surprise." Kuri said very sternly. "May I order an espresso?"

Kairi looked very nervous but what she was about to say would make Kuri go nuts "I'm sorry but we're not selling coffee anymore" She said. Kuri sat there quietly but gave Kairi a very dirty look. People who have known Kuri since junior high gulped.

"This doesn't look good" Selphie commented.

"What do you mean you don't sell coffee anymore?" a flaming aura surrounded Kuri and everyone backed away "THIS IS A CAFÉ DAMN IT!!"

"I know but the coffee companies have temporarily closed down due to the strike. We were going to change the shop's name to Seaside Smoothie" Kairi answered.

"Yeah this strike has been going on for a while ya" Wakka said. "I know because I pass by them every time I'm going to Blitzball practise"

"Yeah I went to pick up some coffee on the way here," Riku said. "But there was non left"

"Kairi" Zexion asked politely "may I order a strawberry smoothie?"

"Yeah sure" Kairi wrote it down on her order list.

"I'll take a sea salt ice cream shake" Roxas grinned.

"Make that two" Xion said

"Three actually" Axel grinned

"I'll take the tropical crush," Larxene ordered

"Chocolate milkshake for me" Sora piped in.

"I'll take a berry crush" Riku said.

"Make that 2 ya" Wakka grinned.

"Just give me a coke" Selphie sighed.

"Give me your sweetest shake or smoothie there is" Ed ordered.

"Your order won't take long" Kairi reassured and walked towards the kitchens. None of them noticed Kuri was looking very anxious except for Roxas.

"Uh Ed?" Roxas poked Ed.

"What?" Roxas pointed at Kuri who looked like she was about to explode in fury. Ed took off his sunglasses and gasped in horror. "Oh no!"

"What is it?" Larxene asked.

"Kuri – coffee = disaster" Ed's usual calm face turned into a horrified expression. Everyone besides the exchange students also looked horrified. The exchange students looked confused but Larxene was calm.

"Oh c'mon. I'm pretty sure she can survive without coffee" Larxene rolled her eyes at the others and laughed at their expressions until Kuri ran out of the café.

"Here you go" Kairi came back with all these shakes, smoothies and a coke "where's Kuri?"

"This is bad" Scarlet said scratching the bottom of her chin.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!!!" Everyone screamed.

"The coffee companies have closed down…Kuri's addicted to coffee"

Axel raised a brow. "Soo…"

"IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!!" Neko screamed also popping out of nowhere.

Ed threw his munny at Kairi "keep the change!" he ran out of the café with his milkshake in his hands. The exchange students and the demon sisters followed him out. Everyone else watched them run out.

"Hey these smoothies are good ya" Wakka smiled. "You guys should totally make smoothies and milkshakes from now on ya"

Kairi smiled. "Thank you Wakka"

11: 55 am: Kuri and Ed's house

Kuri was crouched up in a corner rocking back and forth. Everyone watched from a far distance. "Stage 1: when she thinks she's okay" Ed explained.

"It's okay Kuri" Kuri muttered "who needs coffee huh?"

"How long does this last?" Demyx asked.

"Not long" Ed replied.

12: 10 pm: The cliffs

Kuri stood near the cliffs and she screamed from the top of her lungs. Everyone covered their ears because her scream was deafening.

"Here's stage two" Ed announced

"WHAT?!!" Axel yelled.

"She screams as loud as she can for as long as she can and let me tell you her scream could kill many dolphins," Ed warned.

"EEEEHHH?!!!" Everyone screamed. Scarlet grabbed a few packets of earplugs.

"I suggest we wear these for a while," Scarlet said. Everyone placed the ear plugs in their ears.

"HOW LONG WILL THIS LAST?!!!" Zexion yelled.

"THREE HOURS!" Ed screamed


3:10 pm: Shopping district

"Stage three" Ed announced "endless search"

Kuri was looking everywhere for even a tiny grain of a crush coffee bean. She found Rai walking down the street and he wanted to run away as soon as he saw her but then she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt "DO YOU HAVE ANY COFFEE?!!"

"Uh I'm not a coffee person y'know" He stuttered

"Screw you!" She yelled and threw him aside. Rai screamed before he landed into the rubbish bins. The exchange students, Neko and Ed gulped as they watched from a very safe distance but Scarlet had a very bored expression. Kuri spotted Lemone Sorbei walking down the street making girls melt into goop as he strolled. Kuri grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "YOU!! YOU'RE ITALIAN!!"

"I noticed" Lemone replied sarcastically.

"TELL ME YOU HAVE COFFEE!!" She screamed

"Scusa" he replied in Italian. Kuri tossed him aside and he also landed in the rubbish bins.

"She's bordering on stage 4" Scarlet said

"What's that?" Roxas asked

"Desperation" Ed answered

Penelo and Ashe were walking down the street talking to a moogle but then Kuri spotted them and grabbed the moogle off them. "KURI?!!" Penelo screamed

Kuri held a herring to the poor Moogle's neck (where the herring came from? …No one knows). "Give me coffee or the moogle gets it!"

"Kupo!!!!" the moogle screamed

"Let go of that moogle Kuri!" Ashe yelled. "You're being ridiculous"

"Am I? AM I?!!!"

"Are there anymore?" Larxene asked out of curiosity

"Yep" Neko answered "stage 5: the emo stage"

3:30 pm: Somewhere near Riku's house

"There's no coffee," Kuri said very dramatically as Violin music played in the background " none" Kuri fell on her knees very dramatically "I'm falling down a black abyss"

"Where's that violin music coming from?" Axel asked.

Xion merely shrugged "who knows?"

"Then there's stage 6…humiliation," Ed explained.

3:45 pm: Destiny islands shopping district

Kuri sat in a dark street corner holding up a sign that said 'Will dance for coffee' She started crying her eyes out.

"Oh no…" Ed muttered

"What is it?" Demyx asked.

"She's never reached stage 7 before" Ed's eyes widened.

"What's stage 7?" Larxene asked. Kuri collapsed onto to the ground and her eyes closed slowly. There was more violin music playing in the background and Xion, Demyx, Axel and Roxas ran towards her very dramatically.

"KURI!!!!!" Xion cried. She saw that Kuri was still and her eyes were closed and Xion kneeled beside her bursting into tears "Oh Kuri? Please! Don't die!!"


Roxas also fist pumped in anger "YOU SHALL BE AVENGED!!"

"Kuri" Axel said and saluted to her "It was an honor to have you as the captain of our defense force and-" He turned towards where the violin music was coming from. "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE XALDIN!! STOP PLAYING THE VIOLIN ALREADY!!!" He yelled.

Xaldin stopped playing the violin. He wore a white tuxedo with a red tie and a white hat to go with the suit "Sorry" He said and walked away.

Zexion, Larxene, the demon sisters and Ed sweat dropped at the dramatic scene. "She's not dead!!" Ed yelled.

"What?" Axel, Xion, Roxas and Demyx said in unison. They looked at Kuri and she was snoring really loudly.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz no way knights that say 'Ni' zzzzzzzz I won't give you that shrubbery zzzzzz"


"Stage 7 is when Kuri sleeps for an entire week to catch up on all that sleep she's missed out on" Neko explained.


Last edited:


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
Chapter 7: Revenge of the Ex girlfriends

Day 34

Kuri had awoken from her long coffeeless slumber. She looked next to her bed and found a fresh cup of coffee next to her with a note.

Dear Kuri,
You've been asleep for a whole week so I made you a cup of coffee

Your dear brother

Kuri's eyes widened. "A WHOLE WEEK?!!! CURSE YOU ED!!!" Kuri searched all over her messy room for her phone. When she found it she made a call.

"hey Rikku"

"Morning captain! What's up?" Rikku asked.

Kuri had a menacing grin on her face. "Ed's back in town"

There was a pause at the other end of the line. "Thanks captain for that information" Rikku said deviously and Kuri smiled to herself.

The park: 11 am

"Hmm" Ed looked around attentively.

"What is it?" Axel asked.

"I felt a sudden chill"

"Well the wind is pretty cold today," Xion explained.

"I guess" Ed muttered.

The exchange students and their friends were hanging out at the park because well…they didn't know what to do. For what they didn't know was that doom was approaching.

Roxas saw a group of girls walking towards the oval. "That's the 10th group of girls I've seen heading towards the oval"

"I'm getting curious now" Zexion scratched his chin.

"Maybe it's that time of the year," Selphie said.

"What?" The exchange students cocked their heads to the side while Riku whistled quietly to himself.

"Spoon head" Larxene growled.

"Because Riku and Cobalt used to be womanizers all their ex girlfriends have a convention each year. The Riku and Cobalt hate clubs come as well" Sora explained.

"Worse time of the year" Cobalt said.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!!!" Everyone screamed.

"I never come to this place when the convention is on but I had no idea it was on today" Cobalt explained.

"It can't be that bad" Demyx laughed. "I'm going to take a look"

"NO WAIT!!" Riku and Cobalt screamed.

Demyx peaked behind the bushes and saw hundreds of girls at the convention. Demyx's eyes widened. "HOLY-"

"What is it Demyx?" Roxas asked and everyone sat next to him. "OH MY GOD!!"

"shhh! Not so loud" Cobalt hissed.

"You guys dated this many girls?" Axel asked.

Xion gave Riku a death glare. "So THIS is how many girls you dated before me"

"B-but none of them matter as much as you do" Riku stuttered.

"Aaaaaawww" Kairi and Xion cooed.

"XION!!!" Selphie hissed.

"Oh right" Xion angrily pouted at Riku "Hmph!"

Cobalt observed some of the stalls. "What's this? I HATE COBALT T-SHIRTS?!" Scarlet walked up to the stall that was selling the 'I hate Cobalt' t-shirts.

"I'll take 5!" Scarlet announced.

"Hey Scarlet" The girl selling the t-shirts waved. "You dated Cobalt too?"

"Nah" Scarlet smirked. "I just hate the guy" the girl smiled and gave Scarlet a hi-five.

"Awesome!" She smiled. "That'll be 900 munny"

Everyone behind the bushes gasped. "Oh no! That poor girl ya" Wakka looked absolutely horrified.

"Scarlet never pays for anything," Roxas screamed.

"Thanks for stating the obvious blondie" Larxene muttered.

"But you're blonde too"

"Yeah but not a dumb one like you"

Scarlet grabbed 900 munny out of her pocket and handed it over to the girl. "Even though I never pay for things…these t-shirts are worth it" the girl behind the counter looked shocked along with everyone hiding behind the bushes.

"We've seen enough" Cobalt laughed sheepishly.

"Yeah let's go" Riku laughed and tried to escape.

"NOT SO FAST!!" Kairi and Larxene pulled them back.

"I'm going to explore" Xion smirked and walked into the convention.

"Xion!" Riku whined.

"Yeah let's explore" Selphie poked her tongue out at Cobalt and Riku and followed Xion along with all the other girls. The guys shrugged and followed them.

Riku pulled his hood over his head and wore a pair of shades (where the shades come from? Who knows?). Cobalt took his glasses off and put a cap on his head. They looked at each other wondering if this is going to be the most stupid thing they'll ever do but they did it anyway. They walked into the ex-girlfriend convention.


"DUM DUM DUUUUUUUM!!!" Lexeaus sung.

"What are you doing?" Marluxia asked.

"I don't know" Lexeaus said. "I just felt like it"

Xemnas strolled into the room looking kind of depressed. "Hi superior!" Luxord waved.


"What's up with the superior?" Xigbar asked.

Xaldin shrugged. "Time of the month?"

"He's a man, he can't have his period you dumb bums!" Saix barked but since he is a dog those words he just said gave them the wrong message.

"Aaawww little Saix wants a bone" Marluxia cooed


"You know something" Xemnas said.

"What?" everyone asked.

"We've barely appeared in this Fan Fiction for a while. ARE WE CONSIDERED DIRT TO THIS AUTHORESS!!!"

Nah…I thought since you guys and the Demon Sisters stared in the 1st one I thought I'd give some spotlight to the slightly normal teenagers and other strange kids that we barely see.

"I THOUGHT THIS FANFIC WAS ABOUT US!!" Suddenly a lightning zapped Xemnas. Xemnas was completely black and looked like he got zapped by lightning…oh wait he just did.

"What happened to those TVs?" Luxord asked.

There's none left I threw them all at you guys.

Ex-Girlfriend convention

Ed continued to look around attentively. "I'm still feeling that chill. I think something bad is about to happen"

"No kidding" Riku hissed. "Cobalt and I are in death zone."

"This is Karma" Zexion muttered and then he looked towards Cobalt. "Can you even see properly without your glasses?"

"Yeah, I only wear them to look cool" Cobalt replied sarcastically. "Of course I can't!"

Roxas held four fingers in front of Cobalt. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"I don't know, your hand looks like a blob"

"Here use my reading glasses ya" Wakka handed Cobalt his glasses.

The gang went exploring around the convention. The girls were surprisingly having a good time especially Scarlet because this is a place where she truly belonged.

"Oh my god!" Scarlet looked at some badges. "Cobalt sucks badges! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!! Oh look! Cobalt voodoo dolls!!"

"What's with Scarlet?" Axel asked.

"She's in convention mode," Neko said.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!!" Everyone yelled.

"Well…Scarlet needed me just in case she ran out of money. Even though they don't accept credit cards in conventions" Neko sighed.

"Hey Neko!" Scarlet waved her Cobalt voodoo doll in front of them. "It came with a pin!" Scarlet grabbed her Pin and stabbed the Cobalt doll. When Scarlet stabbed the crotch of the voodoo doll Cobalt gulped and gave Wakka back his reading glasses.

"M-m-m-my bountiful babe" Cobalt muttered. Riku rolled his eyes.

"Where's Xion?" Riku asked.

Xion, Larxene and Selphie were watching Kairi throw darts at life sized cardboard cut outs of Riku and Cobalt.

"Wow they have so many games in this convention" Larxene said "Like Whack a Riku and Cobalt and Dart throwing at (dusk) bags"

"Xion I thought you'd be against all this stuff these girls want to do to your boyfriend" Selphie said.

"Well I have to admit Riku was being a jerk towards those girls but he's really sweet now" Xion said.

"What about Cobalt?" Larxene asked

"Cobalt's just a pervert," Xion said.

Kairi threw the dart and it landed in between the eyes. "YES!!" Kairi screamed. "I scored 100!"

"No…" Larxene said. "It's 50 points when you get it between the eyes. It's 100 points if you get it in the crotch" Larxene pointed at the cardboard cut outs and many of the darts were on their crotches.

Riku and Cobalt gulped. "This wasn't such a good idea" Cobalt said.

"Let's get out of here" Riku suggested.

"Attention girls and boys! The annual raffle is about to begin. Please make your way towards the stage area"

Everyone in the convention headed towards to stage area. Riku and Cobalt thought it was a good time to escape but Axel grabbed them both by the collar. "YOU'RE COMING TOO!!"

"What?!" Riku and Cobalt screamed in protest.

"They said everyone in the convention!" Demyx smirked. "That includes you two!"

"You're coming with us," Sora announced and the boys dragged them both towards the stage area.

The stage Area

Everyone at the convention sat in their seats and watched the raffle. "Welcome everyone to the 3rd annual ex-girlfriend convention" Rinoa announced.

"Hey it's Rinoa" Axel whispered. "Which one of you guys dated her?" Riku put his hand up slightly.

"Damn she's hot why didn't you keep her?" Axel asked.

"Cause she's a freaking nutcase" Riku said. "She was like…creepily obsessed with me, she had photos of me stuck to her locker and ever where I went she was there."

"geez…what happened when you broke it off with her?" Zexion asked.

"She threw a boulder at my house" The guys gulped.

"Now we will start the raffle," Fang said. "The winner receives a weeks vacation on Destiny resort" The audience sounded surprised and excited.

"Hey who dated Fang ya?" Wakka asked. Cobalt raised his hand. "Why'd you get rid of her ya?"

"Because her melons aren't big enough" Cobalt said.

"That's it?" Larxene rolled her eyes at Cobalt.

"Yes that's it…she's not my bountiful Scarlet" Cobalt drooled.

Everyone watched as Rinoa grabbed one of the tickets from the box. When she got one she announced the winner. "And the winner is seat No. T45"

The big screen behind the two hostesses's showed Cobalt. He just looked confused. "Why am I on the big screen?" Cobalt asked Xion.

"Because you're on seat No. T45" Xion hissed.

"Oh…OH…I WON!!! YES!!" Cobalt cheered and everyone clapped but the clapping stopped when Cobalt's hat fell off. The audience stared at Cobalt like seagulls from the movie 'birds' but the exchange students and their friends looked absolutely horrified. "What?" Cobalt asked the gang as they stared at him.

"Your hat" Demyx whispered.

"What about my hat?" Cobalt rolled his eyes.

"It fell off you idiot!" Riku hissed, grabbed the hat and forced it onto his head but then Riku's shades slipped off.

Fang pointed at the two boys "Hey y'know you two look suspiciously like…like" A flaming aura surrounded her "LIKE!!"

"Riku" Cobalt said dramatically "be my eyes for all I see is blobs"

"Put you're glasses on man" Riku shoved Cobalt's glasses on him.

"It is them!" One of the ex-girlfriends yelled. Many angry eyes glared at the two ex womanizers.

Riku placed a hand on Xion's shoulder. "Xion…I love you" Riku pointed towards the left. "HEY IS THAT RIKU AND COBALT!!"

"WHERE!!" The audience yelled. Riku grabbed Cobalt by the collar and ran towards the right.

"GET THEM!!!" Fang yelled and a mob of ex-girlfriends chased them off leaving the exchange students to sit there in the empty stage area.

"So…" Axel muttered.

"It's quiet" Larxene said.

"A little too quiet for my liking" Zexion said.

A local shopping district

Cobalt and Riku managed to loose the angry girls but they needed disguises. "Hey look it's a costume store!!" Cobalt pointed at the store and ran in.

Riku followed behind him and they looked around for suitable disguises. Riku bought a French beret and a fake mustache and Cobalt bought a wig. They put on their disguises and walked outside calmly. Rinoa spotted the two boys but she couldn't recognize them.

"Have you guys seen Riku and Cobalt?" she asked them

"Oh yeah they went that way" Cobalt said in a German accent and pointed to the right.

"Thanks guys!" Rinoa flashed them a smile and she was about to run but then Fang stopped her. She looked closely at the two boys.

"Say you two look suspiciously familiar" Fang said.

"I hate Riku" Riku said in a French accent. "He's a bad bad boy! I will fart in his face when I see him."

"I hate Cobalt" Cobalt yelled. "He sucks!"

"You guys rock!" Rinoa said and led the mob towards the left. Cobalt and Riku sighed with relief and headed back to the park. While the mob of angry ex-girlfriends Rinoa and Fang started to think.

"I never knew Riku and Cobalt went both ways," Fang thought aloud.

"Yeah…" Rinoa said and stopped the mob "y'know something Fang?"

"Yeah?" Fang asked.

"That's kind of hot" Rinoa blushed at the thought.

"It is actually" Fang smirked. The two leaders of the mob grinned at each other. "I have an idea"

3 pm: At the park

Riku and Cobalt walked back into the park and saw the boys of the gang hiding behind the bushes again.

"Hey what are you doing behind the bushes?" Cobalt asked.

"Uh guys you might wanna have a look" Axel motioned them to come his way.

"Why I think we've seen enough" Riku shuddered.

"No seriously guys look behind the bushes" Demyx ordered.

"The convention's completely changed ya" Wakka said.

"I'm too scared to step in there now" Roxas shuddered.

Riku and Cobalt looked at each other and shrugged. When they looked behind the bushes they gasped. "WHAT THE?!"

The Ex-girlfriend convention sign changed into a 'Yaoi Convention' sign. The Riku and Cobalt hate t-shirts had suddenly changed to "I love Ribalt" and other stuff like "I love Zemyx" and there was many doujinshi selling. The female members of their gang were comparing which boy love pairing was better.

"Personally I prefer Soriku" Kairi said.

"Yeah but Ribalt is so HOT!" Selphie said.

"I don't know, I like the idea of Zemyx" Larxene grinned

"I don't like the idea of my boyfriend turning gay so I'm going to support Akuroku" Xion said.

"What's Akuroku?" Selphie and Kairi asked.

"It's Axel x Roxas" Xion answered.

"Then why not call it Roxel or Axas?"

"I dunno it sounded cooler," Xion angrily pouted.

Axel and Roxas felt their eyes twitch. "Ed?" Axel asked.


"Be a dear and get us some of those comic books" Axel asked. Ed sighed and bought as much doujinshi as he could. He went back behind the bushes and Axel grabbed one of them and laughed at the front cover. "Hey look it's us at the front cover" Axel grinned.

"Okay?" Roxas sweat dropped and looked at the doujinshi. "Why am I in a maid costume?"

"haha! Roxas looks like a girl" Axel laughed and flipped the page. "Uh…why do I look so seductive?" Axel flipped the page again. "HOLY (Shadow)!!"

"AXEL!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!!" Roxas screamed.

"IT WASN'T REALLY ME I SWEAR!!" Axel yelled.

Sora grabbed a Soriku doujinshi and flipped through the pages. "RIKU I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!!"

"Give me the damn comic book" Riku grabbed the doujinshi off Sora and looked like his eyes were about to jump out of his sockets. "First girls try to kill me and now they think I'm going to make out with Sora" Riku sat in a dark corner. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"It's called karma," Zexion muttered while looking through a Zemyx doujinshi. "These girls have such an interesting imagination"

Demyx looked over his shoulder. "Eeeewww these girls are sickos"

Cobalt grabbed an Inu x Tidus doujinshi. "Wow not even my adorable little brother is safe from those fan girls"

Wakka grabbed an Ed x Wakka doujinshi. "That's just weird ya"

"Why am I the girl in the relationship?" Ed growled.

"Well…I'm taller than you and I'm older than you ya" Wakka smirked.

"Why am I here again?" Ed muttered. He suddenly had this strange feeling that something bad was going to happen right away. He turned around and his eyes widened with fear.

"Rikku?" He squeaked. All the boys looked towards the peppy blonde Rikku from the defense force.

"Ed?" She said sounding so surprised. The guys looked at Ed, then Rikku then Ed again. Suddenly a shoujo sparkly aura surrounded them. "Ed!" She yelled happily but Ed was backing away. "Oh Ed" She slowly ran towards him but Ed was slowly backing away. The shoujo aura was suddenly replaced with a demonic aura. Rikku was charging after Ed like a bull in a rodeo show. "I'LL KILL YOU!!!" she screamed and tackled Ed to the ground.

"AAAAAAHH!!!" Ed screamed in a surprising high-pitched voice.


"In my defence…I tried to call" Ed laughed sheepishly but Rikku continued to beat up the poor detective.

"DIE!!!" she screamed.

The other boys were confused. "Wait why is defense force Rikku tackling Ed?" Zexion asked.

"Oh those two used to date" Kuri answered and took a sip out of her coffee.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!!" Everyone yelled.

"Do you guys want me to answer your question or what?" Kuri glared at them all. "Anyway…yeah those two were in the computer club together. Rikku had a thing for Red heads and Ed had a thing for blonde girls so they dated"

"How'd they break up?" Demyx asked.

"Rikku got too clingy and Ed got bored so when he got a mission to investigate stuff in Twilight Town he left Destiny Islands and broke up with her in a txt"

"Now we know why he stayed there for a while ya" Wakka said.

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Sep 25, 2010
Your new chapter is so funny :) lol you make wonderful chapters, they really brighten up my day.

The fan girls are so funny =)

Your fanfic is the best.
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