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Fanfiction ► Secret Mission: Summer Vacation

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The Dream

Oh no, not me, I never lost control
Apr 5, 2008
Under this bed
...... that sounded cold.
But still, she will be on when she want to be on.


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
Chapter 3: A maid in need is a man indeed

Day 7

After the long party on WONSTOPPSHUPHOLLYDAY Island they all returned to their home island. Xemnas had bought a huge holiday house for the Organization with everyone’s wages. Some of them complained but after they saw the beach house they stopped. They entered the house and fought each other for the best room…literally.

Axel summoned his chakrams and Demyx summoned his sitar. “oy! This room is going to be mine! Got it memorized!”

“Nuh uh! This room is mine!” Demyx smirked.

Xion, Roxas, Larxene and Zexion (who already claimed their rooms) sweat dropped at the scene.

“Want me to rip that smirk off your face”

“I’d like to see you try!”

Before they fought how ever they saw Xigbar looking all neat and clean. “Hey Xiggy? What’s the occasion?” Larxene asked.

“The superior hired a maid” Xigbar smirked. “And for all we know it could be a cute one”

Roxas, Demyx and Axel glanced at each other but then they pictured a beautiful longhaired maid.

“I wonder what she’s like” Axel drooled.

Roxas’s mind theatre

“Here’s your dinner Mr. Roxas,” The maid said with a warm smile. “And if you’re lucky you can have a piece of the short cake that I made”

Demyx’s mind theatre

Demyx sat on the couch in the living room playing on his sitar “Wow Demyx! You play the sitar very well,” The maid said. “Can you play me a song?”

Axel’s mind theatre

I’m sorry but the following scene is too horny and life scarring to be shown on this fanfic

End of mind theatres

They heard the doorbell ring and they immediately rushed to the door leaving Zexion, Larxene and Xion there to sweat drop.

“Perverts” Larxene muttered.

“I think we should greet this maid,” Zexion suggested.

“I bet she’s really nice and pretty” Xion smiled

“I doubt the superior would hire a maid only for their looks and how nice they are, She must do a good job at cleaning the house as well”

“Pretty girls can achieve good things y’know!” Xion poked her tongue out at him.

“But some pretty girls aren’t very bright. Hint! Hint!” Zexion smirked.

“HEY I’M BRIGHT!!” Xion yelled.

“So you admit to being pretty as well” Larxene smirked.

“Well no…but…ah forget it” Xion sighed and walked down stairs. “I’m going to get some groceries”

Xigbar combed his hair a little and opened the door to greet the maid. When he saw the maid however he froze in fear.

“Xigbar is there something wrong?” Axel asked. The trio took one look at the maid.

“Lu residence?” The maid asked.

Axel, Demyx and Roxas also froze in fear looking like they saw a ghost.

“Guys?” Larxene asked. “Why do you look so sho-?

“Is this the Lu residence?” Larxene also froze.

“Why are you all frozen?” Marluxia asked but when he saw the maid he also froze.

“Oh boy! What is it now?” Zexion asked and (you guessed it) froze.

“I wonder what’s so interesting?” Vexen asked while dragging Saix along with him but both also froze.

“What’s going on?” Luxord asked. “I was just about to ask Xaldin to play-” He froze.

“Okay guys I’ll be back in…” Xion froze.

“What’s all this?” Xaldin asked and froze.

Xemnas pushed past the other nobodies. “WHAT IN KINGDOM HEARTS IS GOING O-

“Mr. Xemnas Lu?”

Xemnas also froze in fear. The maid was nothing like they had imagined. She looked like a female version of Lexeaus. “LEXEAUS?!! WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A WOMAN??!!”

“Um…Superior…I’m over here” They all looked at Lexeaus who was watching the news, then the maid, then Lexeaus again and then the maid once more.

“My name is Helga Rose,” The maid said. “I am your new maid” Once again they froze in fear.

“We’re stuck with her all summer!!” They all thought.

“Um…uh…I think I better go now” Xion pushed past the other nobodies.

“WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO??!!” Xemnas yelled.

“Buying groceries!”

“All by yourself?”

“Superior…I’M 15 NOT 5!” Xion snapped as she stormed out of the house.

“Wait!” Helga yelled. “You sure you don’t want me to help you carry those groceries, you have a pretty big family and you are a little girl”

“I’ll be alright” Xion smiled. “I’m a lot stronger than I look. Besides you should get to know my family better” Helga couldn’t see it but Xion was planning an escape attempt.

“Good bye little girl!” Helga waved. “Why she’s very pretty. I’m sure there’re several boys chasing after her”

“WHAT?!!” Xemnas screamed. “WHO ARE THEY?!! WHERE DO THEY LIVE?!!!

“It’s just an expression of words Xemnas” Zexion explained. “Besides she’s dating spoon head anyway”

“I KNOW!! AND IT PISSES ME OFF!!!” Xemnas fist pumped in fury.

“Would you like to come in?” Zexion asked politely.

“Thank you” Helga smiled and the organization froze in fear again. She wasn’t just as ugly as Lexeaus but she was also as tall as him. When she saw him however all she said was. “Hey you look like my cousin Aeleus”

Lexeaus froze in fear. “H-h-h-Helga?!” he thought.

“Although he lost his heart to the heartless, that’s why…” She suddenly had a flaming aura around her. “IF I MEET ANYONE WITH OUT A HEART I’M GOING TO RIP THEM TO PIECES!!” The organization shrieked and ran outside. Helga looked around and saw that they were gone. “Um…hello? Anyone there?”

Xion: Supermarket

“Hmm let’s see, bread, milk, cheese, moisturizer, deodorant…tampons?” Xion raised a brow. “I do hope they’re for Larxene”

“Hey you?” Xion turned around and saw a red haired boy wearing a pair of shades and carrying lots of candy. “Don’t you think you’re a little young to be buying condoms?”

“HUH?” Xion looked behind her and screamed. “HOLY (shadow)!!! THEY COME IN FLAVORS???!!!”

“Are you Kuri’s friend?”

“Well I guess so. She hangs out more with Yuna, Rikku and Paine. Why do you ask?”

“Do you know where she lives?”

“Um, Paupu Ave. Are you some kind of stalker” and with that comment he walked out of the super market after paying for all the candy. “Okay? I guess he is a stalker”

Back in the beach house

The Organization hid at the back of the house “Oh geez! That’s my original self’s cousin” Lexeaus’s eyes widened.

“What was she like?” Roxas asked.

“She was scary! When she was five years old she threw a boulder at my house” Everyone screeched

“Superior?” Zexion asked. “Why did you hire a monster?”

“I didn’t actually hire her,” Xemnas said.

“Then who did?”

“We did”

“WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!!!” The organization screamed.

“This shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore” Scarlet muttered. “Anyway Helga Rose is a friend of a friend of a friend of a person who we blew up of a-”

“GET ON WITH IT!!” Larxene screamed.

“Whoa pms” Scarlet muttered.

“Helga is in financial trouble,” Neko said also popping out of nowhere. “She needed a job and we knew you were staying in this house for summer vacation so we thought you guys could take a break and let Helga do all the work”

“Don’t worry she has good credentials” Scarlet reassured. “And she’s a very nice lady too. We’ll see you later, we have some business to attend to” and with that Neko and Scarlet disappeared.

“Okay…” Everyone muttered.

“Is it safe to come back inside?” Demyx shivered.

“I guess so” Luxord muttered. “I hope”

“Okay everyone” Xemnas ordered. “Walk in slowly” They all crept into the house hoping for a clean one but when they came in it was a complete mess. “WHAT IN KINGDOM HEARTS?!!”

“I’m so sorry Xemnas” Helga bowed. “B-b-b-but…AAAAAHH!! I HATE SPIDERS!!!” When she saw one on the wall she grabbed a mop and hit the spider only to have the wall broken as well. The organization screamed like little girls. “Oh good, I got rid of it! Um are you okay?”

The organization didn’t even think that it’d take one ma- woman to scare them all. They stood frozen in fear.

“Hey guys I’m back” Xion’s eyes widened. “WHOA?! DID AN ELEPHANT WALK THROUGH HERE OR SOMETHING??!!”

Helga burst into tears. “I’M SORRY!!! I’M SORRY!!! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!” Helga sat in an emo corner. “I don’t deserve to be a maid”

Everyone sweat dropped.

“Hey what’s going on?” Kuri asked.


“Oh I live next door” Kuri smiled. “Didn’t you notice?”

Everyone sweat dropped again. “This is going to be the worst summer ever”

“By the way do you have any coffee, I seem to have run out and… WHOA!!! Who’s that?” Kuri pointed at Helga. “Is this a drag queen?” Helga gave Kuri a death glare and even Kuri was surprised. “HOLY (Shadow)!!”

“Hey Kuri?” Xion asked. “There was some stalker looking for you” Kuri raised a brow.

“A stalker huh? What did he look like?”

“Well, he had red hair, he was pretty pale, he was wearing shades, shorts and a polo shirt and he was carrying lots of sugar” Kuri’s eyes widened and she walked outside only to find that boy waving at her.

“Ed” She clenched her fists and grinded her teeth.

“Do you know him?” Demyx asked.

“He’s my brother”

To be continued…right now


“Wow” Axel said. “They barely even look like each other”

Kuri had an evil grin. “I see your still eating a lot of sugar huh? Too much of a kid to handle coffee”

“Oh no she didn’t” The organization chorused and Xion twitched.

“NOO NOT WONDERLAND?!!!” She screamed and ran back inside.

“At least sugar doesn’t cause interference with insulin activity, and the blockage of vitamin C absorption” Ed smirked.

“wow” Roxas muttered. “he’s pretty smart”

“oh yeah well eating a lot of sugar gives you lots of pimples”

“coffee has the same effect” Kuri snarled.

“Yeah! Well… sugar also causes hypoglycaemia”

“Is this sibling rivalry I’m seeing?” Zexion asked.

“Wait if he’s her brother then why haven’t we seen him at school?” Demyx asked.

“I can answer that,” Neko said.


“I lost Scarlet along the way” Neko explained. “Kuri and Ed are both young detectives and their competing for the position of ‘the greatest detective in the world besides L’... Hey is that candy?!” Neko was slightly distracted.

“You didn’t answer our question!!” Axel snapped.

“Oh yeah. Ed’s been in Twilight town solving a case of…I don’t know what it was”

“I was investigating the case of the missing photos,” Ed explained. “I found out they’ve all been pictures of this boy over there” he pointed at Roxas.

“Probably fan girls,” Roxas said.

“You have fans in Twilight town?” Xigbar asked. “Dude! You’ve got to tell me your secret”

“Well, you must be young for a start”

“Oh no he didn’t!” The organization + maid chorused.

“Why are you still on Destiny islands?” Ed smirked. “No one wanted to hire you?”

“Oh no he didn’t”

“I’ve been the captain of the exhange student defence force and I’m still trying to solve the case of the panty thefts around Destiny islands. Who keep stealing them?”

The organization sweat dropped. “The heartless”

“Why are you back in Destiny islands? Twilight town kicked you out cause you couldn’t solve a simple case?” Kuri smirked

“No... Mum and Dad wanted me back home and besides I’m here to solve the case of who’s been blowing up cruise ships heading towards WONSTOPPSHUPHOLLYDAY Island” Ed explained

“Kano Toshiro” The organization sweat dropped.

“Wait…your staying here?” Kuri’s eyes widened.


Kuri ran towards her house and threw out the collection of mutated goop out of the window.

“SHE’S BEEN KEEPING THOSE?!!!” Larxene screamed.

“I was going to donate these to oxford for research!” Kuri yelled from out of the window. “Now that we’re neighbours I can keep a close eye on you guys and I can watch Demyx sleep from my bedroom window”



Xemnas sighed. “So much for a quiet vacation”



I aim to misbehave
Mar 16, 2008
Metal Gear?!
for some reason hte she-man reminds me of Helga from Ratchet and Clank, and its not just the name...

The Dream

Oh no, not me, I never lost control
Apr 5, 2008
Under this bed
That was funny as hell!
Yuck, thats sounds like one ugly maid.
It's always funny how Xemnas reacts when it comes to Xion.


New member
May 30, 2008
Wow, that was awesome. I don't even know what to say. Keep up the good work.


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
That's the whole point of creating Helga...to scare people.

Oh and I keep forgetting to mention this but Scarlet is based off my sister, Kuri is based off my friend, Ed is based off my friend's bro and Neko's based off me. The other OCs are just made up.


New member
Sep 3, 2008
I'm not telling you
Well it's not so surprising if you knew me in real life. I love sweet food or any kind of food besides brussel sprouts and other yucky stuff. I'm pretty high strung at times as well but I'm a lot more mature than Neko...obviously
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