Romance



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Alpha Baymax

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Well, it's that inevitable topic that bound to come crawling to a conversation in some capacity: "love".

What are your thoughts about it in this day and age?

ROMANCE IN THE MEDIA
TV Series, Movies, Animated Movies, Video Games: what do you think of their portrayal of "love"?

ROMANCE IN REAL LIFE
What are your values and experiences of "love" and romance and what did you think you got out of it?

So, lets talk all about romance and love. At the end of the day, we all know that one guy that struggles to talk to girls and vice versa. So, l suppose, this topic can be a means to help them out be more confident about "love".
 
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Chuman

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george miller would disagree with you on this one bud.
 

KingdomKey

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I've grown to dislike romance in movies and television shows to some degree because, its become a pattern of predictability. I've seen enough scenarios play out in similar ways that I sigh at the struggles the "love interests" have with each other. However, I still can't help to root for the love interests because, they do provide entertainment and make things interesting to make up for the lack luster of action or thriller in certain things. There was at least one movie (The Man From Uncle) I've seen with a platonic relationship this year and I wanted more instead of teases of potential kisses between the two characters. As a result, I like that its left to interpretation for those that want to make it into something more, while others can accept it for not becoming more.

What I've grown to notice a lot recently, is how popular a student and teacher relationship has become in today's media. I've seen it quite a few times now in Nisekoi, Pretty Little Liars, Vampire Academy, Scream (tv series,) and Degrassi. I know a student and teacher relationship in real life is considered wrong and considered a disaster, but why is it so popular in media for? Is the forbidden romance that appeals to our new and current generation? I feel like its given fuel of encouragement for the hopeless romantic pre-teens these days.

In Life

I'm all for falling in love and being with the person you love most. I believe love comes in many forms and can be applied to friends as well as loved ones. Including pets or objects. I have nothing against it and think its a beautiful thing regardless of how its applied to anyone or anything in particular. Love doesn't have to be applied sexually and can be merely out of friendship, loyalty, trust, respect, devotion or affection. Even unrequited, its okay to still love a person, respect their personal space and care about their well-being too.

The Cons: Love can also be dangerous for a number of reasons. I'll probably elaborate more on it after I gather my thoughts on it some.

As for advice: You can't force love or your feelings onto another person. Always respect what another person thinks and feels. Including their boundaries until they're comfortable enough to push them or share it with you. Trust can only be built by making a bridge with the other party in the relationship. Last but not least, communication and patience is key most of all.

---

I was a little confused at the op, so this is how I interpreted it. C:
 
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Alpha Baymax

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I've grown to dislike romance in movies and television shows to some degree because, its become a pattern of predictability. I've seen enough scenarios play out in similar ways that I sigh at the struggles the "love interests" have with each other. However, I still can't help to root for the love interests because, they do provide entertainment and make things interesting to make up for the lack luster of action or thriller in certain things. There was at least one movie (The Man From Uncle) I've seen with a platonic relationship this year and I wanted more instead of teases of potential kisses between the two characters. As a result, I like that its left to interpretation for those that want to make it into something more, while others can accept it for not becoming more.

What I've grown to notice a lot recently, is how popular a student and teacher relationship has become in today's media. I've seen it quite a few times now in Nisekoi, Pretty Little Liars, Vampire Academy, Scream (tv series,) and Degrassi. I know a student and teacher relationship in real life is considered wrong and considered a disaster, but why is it so popular in media for? Is the forbidden romance that appeals to our new and current generation? I feel like its given fuel of encouragement for the hopeless romantic pre-teens these days.
Hey, you've interpreted this topic perfectly. :redface: Yeah, in terms of romance, I definitely think you've hit the nail in the head in popular media. "Bickering couples" and "predicable love scenarios" are just all over the place and over-saturated to the point where movies just lack any creative innovation or interpretation with love and romance (which is disappointing as I'm a hopeless romantic myself).

It honestly disturbs me the whole "student to teacher relationship". It's one thing to have a movie that centers around an educational institute, but, it's another thing altogether when a "student" and "teacher" character try and get romantically involved with each other. I understand that you can place the argument that "it's escapism", however, those kinds of movies try to be as realistic as possible with their plots and storylines so the lines between fantasy and reality are really blurred. But as you've stated, it's interpretational.

In terms of platonic relationships of the opposing sex in movies, I'm all for that. Especially when two character really look like they're compatible. We know what the capabilities of love and romance is, however, exploring a friendship dymanic of a guy and girl of similar age without any infactuational interference can really provide an alternate and interesting means of storytelling in movies.

In Life

I'm all for falling in love and being with the person you love most. I believe love comes in many forms and can be applied to friends as well as loved ones. Including pets or objects. I have nothing against it and think its a beautiful thing regardless of how its applied to anyone or anything in particular. Love doesn't have to be applied sexually and can be merely out of friendship, loyalty, trust, respect, devotion or affection. Even unrequited, its okay to still love a person, respect their personal space and care about their well-being too.

As for advice: You can't force love or your feelings onto another person. Always respect what another person thinks and feels. Including their boundaries until they're comfortable enough to push them or share it with you. Trust can only be built by making a bridge with the other party in the relationship. Last but not least, communication and patience is key most of all.

---

I was a little confused at the op, so this is how I interpreted it. C:
Most certainly, love with friends and family is a powerful element that shouldn't be underestimated. I suppose, love in the form of romance is the most mysterious and potentially dangerous one of all. One moment you have strong positive feelings for an individual, and later down in life, you may end up resenting the existence of that very person you were into in the first place. I'm glad you've raised the topic of unrequited love. It's a feeling that so many people (including myself) have felt guilty and embarrassed about. At the very least, you do end up a valuable life lesson in regards to the fantasy and reality of romance in real life.
 

aqualight

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I've grown to dislike romance in movies and television shows to some degree because, its become a pattern of predictability. I've seen enough scenarios play out in similar ways that I sigh at the struggles the "love interests" have with each other. However, I still can't help to root for the love interests because, they do provide entertainment and make things interesting to make up for the lack luster of action or thriller in certain things. There was at least one movie (The Man From Uncle) I've seen with a platonic relationship this year and I wanted more instead of teases of potential kisses between the two characters. As a result, I like that its left to interpretation for those that want to make it into something more, while others can accept it for not becoming more.

What I've grown to notice a lot recently, is how popular a student and teacher relationship has become in today's media. I've seen it quite a few times now in Nisekoi, Pretty Little Liars, Vampire Academy, Scream (tv series,) and Degrassi. I know a student and teacher relationship in real life is considered wrong and considered a disaster, but why is it so popular in media for? Is the forbidden romance that appeals to our new and current generation? I feel like its given fuel of encouragement for the hopeless romantic pre-teens these days.
Hey, you've interpreted this topic perfectly. :redface: Yeah, in terms of romance, I definitely think you've hit the nail in the head in popular media. "Bickering couples" and "predicable love scenarios" are just all over the place and over-saturated to the point where movies just lack any creative innovation or interpretation with love and romance (which is disappointing as I'm a hopeless romantic myself).

It honestly disturbs me the whole "student to teacher relationship". It's one thing to have a movie that centers around an educational institute, but, it's another thing altogether when a "student" and "teacher" character try and get romantically involved with each other. I understand that you can place the argument that "it's escapism", however, those kinds of movies try to be as realistic as possible with their plots and storylines so the lines between fantasy and reality are really blurred. But as you've stated, it's interpretational.

In terms of platonic relationships of the opposing sex in movies, I'm all for that. Especially when two character really look like they're compatible. We know what the capabilities of love and romance is, however, exploring a friendship dymanic of a guy and girl of similar age without any infactuational interference can really provide an alternate and interesting means of storytelling in movies.
Definitely agreed. Teacher/Student romances in media just feel wrong. I look at them and all i can think of is usually how... predatory the relationships seem. With that amount of power imbalance it doesn't feel like something healthy could develop from it. As a trope used in media it just feels obscure and disconnected to reality.

Actually any type of large age difference in couples shown on television makes my skin crawl. Especially how it's almost always with a young girl and an older guy, and the girl is always so sexualised. A lot of media, especially one particular kind of media, is so obsessed with sexualising female youth that literally the only thing barring it from getting any younger is the law. (not that it's not made anyway...) Please tell me if this is inappropriate on the forums, but talking about that particular form of media, i recently saw new category was set up of "young/old" and i died on the inside. I just really can't handle that kind of stuff, especially now that i am of that age :|

Even outside of that media it worries me. So much development happens during puberty, all throughout teenage years. A person changes extremely over even a year. 18 is definitely getting out of the era, but it's not completely removed, people are definitely still growing mentally as people. Of course people mature at slightly different rates, but i still feel very much like a child and there's going to be a huge difference in life experiences of someone only a couple of years older.

But going on, relationships just in general in media really fail to excite me anymore. I'm just don't find the interest in it as i did when i was younger. Love triangles tend to be a boring attempt to get people involved in whatever it is. I tend i don't ship many things either. I mostly only ever really get involved with shipping if i am watching something with somebody else. For example, i watched Hana Yori Dango with my cousins. Because we were all together commenting on it as it was happening and generally just hyping each other up, we got really into it and i admit it was a lot of fun. But take away the people watching it with me it's really just an annoyingly drawn out, horribly written romance that has so many flaws to it. I've watched a few dramas in my time and i usually 'root' for the person i just find less annoying or more attractive, eventually just because of how long they are i always get kinda involved. I'm prone to crying but that's only because i am that type of person, and if i am crying it's probably not because i ship something.

Real life? pfft, nah. I'm not the most experienced, nor very hopelessly romantic. I only remember having big crushes on people when i was very young, if i 'like' someone these days it's very shallow and only really visually attracted to them. The only experience i've really had lasted mostly for 5 days and from there just kinda died off... Poor guy. I thought i had started liking my friend who had previous liked me about 3/4 years beforehand. turns out he was into me again as well. We kissed on new years and thought we'd go from there, we caught up a few more times in the next week. But every time i was with him i would just feel horrible afterwards and wrong, so much that i figured out that i think i just liked him because i was bored, so before it could get any bigger i broke it off. But not before asking if it was weird to like someone twice, to which he replied "i don't think i ever stopped liking you." eep. He had a girlfriend during that time as well, although she was/is very abusive to him. Hope he's okay. I've started having feelings for him again, because i know i am bored and is what the young kids call 'thirsty'. But not only because of the reasons above, but also because one of my friends (who i suspected liked him before the whole debacle) asked me recently if it was okay for her to ask him out. I said of course, there's nothing between us anymore. So hence if i do any thing i would be cruel to two of my friends, so i'm not going to do anything.

I'm probably just going to be annoying to my friends who have to listen to me thirst all the time. It's not that i necessarily want romance, i more so want just some sort of affection.

Whoops didn't mean to go on such a rant on my life story, sorry.

TL;DR: Romance with huge ages gaps are gross, romance in media is eh, and when it comes to real life i am pretty cynical when it comes to love
 
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Alpha Baymax

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Definitely agreed. Teacher/Student romances in media just feel wrong. I look at them and all i can think of is usually how... predatory the relationships seem. With that amount of power imbalance it doesn't feel like something healthy could develop from it. As a trope used in media it just feels obscure and disconnected to reality.

Actually any type of large age difference in couples shown on television makes my skin crawl. Especially how it's almost always with a young girl and an older guy, and the girl is always so sexualised. A lot of media, especially one particular kind of media, is so obsessed with sexualising female youth that literally the only thing barring it from getting any younger is the law. (not that it's not made anyway...) Please tell me if this is inappropriate on the forums, but talking about that particular form of media, i recently saw new category was set up of "young/old" and i died on the inside. I just really can't handle that kind of stuff, especially now that i am of that age :|

Even outside of that media it worries me. So much development happens during puberty, all throughout teenage years. A person changes extremely over even a year. 18 is definitely getting out of the era, but it's not completely removed, people are definitely still growing mentally as people. Of course people mature at slightly different rates, but i still feel very much like a child and there's going to be a huge difference in life experiences of someone only a couple of years older.
Exactly, sure, people in their late 20 to early 20 is far more acceptable as both those age categories are considered teens, however, 16 – 24 age range is simply too cringey to even consider. As absurd as it is to say this, these kind of “student to teacher relationship movies” are a contributor to child related crimes (in the UK, there was a case of a Teacher leaving his married wife and kids to start a relationship with a student, and in both their defence, they believed that they were “meant for each-other”). Yeah, I understand the perspective that you’re coming from with the sexualisation of young girls in the media. There are a million and one reasons for that happening. Unfortunately, there’s still the social expectation of the female gender to be “pretty” and “beautiful”, objectifying women in Mass Media is an easier way to transmit feminine social and cultural norms of mannerisms, fashion styles, dialect, etc. and most unsurprisingly, Hollywood is still fairly patriarchal and old fashioned especially when it comes to romances and romantic comedies. Sure, there was The Fault In Our Stars, however, that was an exceptional case of material created by a YouTuber as opposed to a regular author.

In regards to your statement about people aging differently, my “philosophy” in life is that you have two variations of ages. You have your biological age (as you can see, I’ve been living on planet earth for 19 years) and your mental age (how old you think and feel). The funny thing about your mental age is that you have complete control of how old you want to project yourself. Funnily enough, that fact is practically proven when two people start getting into each-other. They act childlike and play about with each other through various means of flirtation, but when they take their friendship to relationship more seriously, there’s a higher level of maturity involved with that process and your mental age acts differently. The same principle can be applied to a student who’s participating in a part time job. You have a typical teenage mental age, yet, in a particular workplace, your mental age is a whole more adultlike to comply with the social norm of a work environment. Away from my tangent, I agree with your perspective too.

But going on, relationships just in general in media really fail to excite me anymore. I'm just don't find the interest in it as i did when i was younger. Love triangles tend to be a boring attempt to get people involved in whatever it is. I tend i don't ship many things either. I mostly only ever really get involved with shipping if i am watching something with somebody else. For example, i watched Hana Yori Dango with my cousins. Because we were all together commenting on it as it was happening and generally just hyping each other up, we got really into it and i admit it was a lot of fun. But take away the people watching it with me it's really just an annoyingly drawn out, horribly written romance that has so many flaws to it. I've watched a few dramas in my time and i usually 'root' for the person i just find less annoying or more attractive, eventually just because of how long they are i always get kinda involved. I'm prone to crying but that's only because i am that type of person, and if i am crying it's probably not because i ship something.
Interesting. I suppose a topic like shipping and romances in media is more fitting to talk about in a group as opposed to talking about it yourself as you really learn the dynamics of whether said couple is compatible and how their loves compares to your experiences. I’m personally in support of love triangles not because of the drama it brings, but rather, it really provides a sense of realism of reality into the concept of “love”. Sure, two people may really work well together as a couple, however, they may be another person who’s just as compatible, or, there may be that unrequited person involved in the process.

Real life? pfft, nah. I'm not the most experienced, nor very hopelessly romantic. I only remember having big crushes on people when i was very young, if i 'like' someone these days it's very shallow and only really visually attracted to them. The only experience i've really had lasted mostly for 5 days and from there just kinda died off... Poor guy. I thought i had started liking my friend who had previous liked me about 3/4 years beforehand. turns out he was into me again as well. We kissed on new years and thought we'd go from there, we caught up a few more times in the next week. But every time i was with him i would just feel horrible afterwards and wrong, so much that i figured out that i think i just liked him because i was bored, so before it could get any bigger i broke it off. But not before asking if it was weird to like someone twice, to which he replied "i don't think i ever stopped liking you." eep. He had a girlfriend during that time as well, although she was/is very abusive to him. Hope he's okay. I've started having feelings for him again, because i know i am bored and is what the young kids call 'thirsty'. But not only because of the reasons above, but also because one of my friends (who i suspected liked him before the whole debacle) asked me recently if it was okay for her to ask him out. I said of course, there's nothing between us anymore. So hence if i do anything i would be cruel to two of my friends, so i'm not going to do anything.

I'm probably just going to be annoying to my friends who have to listen to me thirst all the time. It's not that i necessarily want romance, i more so want just some sort of affection.

Whoops didn't mean to go on such a rant on my life story, sorry.

TL;DR: Romance with huge ages gaps are gross, romance in media is eh, and when it comes to real life i am pretty cynical when it comes to love
It’s cool, I welcome the rant. My love life’s been absolute shambles too. I had an unrequited love with somebody for about 4 years straight and when I did get a relationship with somebody else, it was long distance and our priorities clashed.
As far as your situation goes with love, just tell your friends that “companionship” is all that you really need and that your ex-boyfriend set a really good standard.

I’m sorry to hear that your friend had an abusive girlfriend. It angers me when some people believe that relationships are a power balance. They’re not; relationships (and even “friends with benefits for that matter”) are supposed to be complimentary. One person of the relationship brings just as much to the table as the other person. I too hope that he gets all the support he requires. I’ve been a ranty individual myself. I’ve tried to use all the powers that I had in order to express the companionship I desire.
 

aqualight

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It’s cool, I welcome the rant. My love life’s been absolute shambles too. I had an unrequited love with somebody for about 4 years straight and when I did get a relationship with somebody else, it was long distance and our priorities clashed.
As far as your situation goes with love, just tell your friends that “companionship” is all that you really need and that your ex-boyfriend set a really good standard.

I’m sorry to hear that your friend had an abusive girlfriend. It angers me when some people believe that relationships are a power balance. They’re not; relationships (and even “friends with benefits for that matter”) are supposed to be complimentary. One person of the relationship brings just as much to the table as the other person. I too hope that he gets all the support he requires. I’ve been a ranty individual myself. I’ve tried to use all the powers that I had in order to express the companionship I desire.
More than anything she was emotionally abusive. He admitted that she was constantly stopping him from meeting with friends at her request, so during their years together he had lost a lot of his friends. Me being one of those friends, heh. I think out of everyone she hated me the most because of the fact that i was his crush before she started dating him. But then again most girls she didn't like and told him to stop talking to him. When they finally broke up i think he said it was weird trying to make all those connections again. I honestly don't remember anything about her being physically abusive to him, but she did try to legitimately attack his friends on occasion if they hung out too much or something. And she did cheat on him at least once, and as said before, but made sure he would have no chance to do the same by making him lose contact with anyone who would redirect his attention. She also had access to all of his social media/instant messengers. Their relationship was fulling encompassing and isolating, but because it was his first relationship he just thought it was normal, despite the fact he also knows now that it was abusive.

That being said, last i checked she still is kinda 'obsessed' with him despite the fact that they've been broken up for almost two years now. Even before i had the small fling with him she was angry at me for hanging out with him again, and gave me the best (worst) insult of my life. I had recently dyed my hair turquoise, me and him were walking around the shopping centre after seeing a movie for my other friends birthday, we came across her and her friend. They proceeded to follow us around and she sent a message saying 'your girlfriend has some nice mouldy hair'. I can't even be offended at that it was really a pretty pathetic attempt at an insult really, i know i looked fab.

Petty drama aside. The point i was trying to make: All encompassing relationships shouldn't be so romanticised. It sounds more like a recipe for destruction. Sure, when you like somebody they're gonna be on your mind a lot and you're going to want to spend a lot of time together, but if doing so isolates you from everyone and everything else in life it isn't healthy. While jealousy is a pretty human thing as well, it shouldn't make you control others just for your own security. Time apart is healthy and a necessity.
 

Alpha Baymax

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More than anything she was emotionally abusive. He admitted that she was constantly stopping him from meeting with friends at her request, so during their years together he had lost a lot of his friends. Me being one of those friends, heh. I think out of everyone she hated me the most because of the fact that i was his crush before she started dating him. But then again most girls she didn't like and told him to stop talking to him. When they finally broke up i think he said it was weird trying to make all those connections again. I honestly don't remember anything about her being physically abusive to him, but she did try to legitimately attack his friends on occasion if they hung out too much or something. And she did cheat on him at least once, and as said before, but made sure he would have no chance to do the same by making him lose contact with anyone who would redirect his attention. She also had access to all of his social media/instant messengers. Their relationship was fulling encompassing and isolating, but because it was his first relationship he just thought it was normal, despite the fact he also knows now that it was abusive.

That being said, last i checked she still is kinda 'obsessed' with him despite the fact that they've been broken up for almost two years now. Even before i had the small fling with him she was angry at me for hanging out with him again, and gave me the best (worst) insult of my life. I had recently dyed my hair turquoise, me and him were walking around the shopping centre after seeing a movie for my other friends birthday, we came across her and her friend. They proceeded to follow us around and she sent a message saying 'your girlfriend has some nice mouldy hair'. I can't even be offended at that it was really a pretty pathetic attempt at an insult really, i know i looked fab.

Petty drama aside. The point i was trying to make: All encompassing relationships shouldn't be so romanticised. It sounds more like a recipe for destruction. Sure, when you like somebody they're gonna be on your mind a lot and you're going to want to spend a lot of time together, but if doing so isolates you from everyone and everything else in life it isn't healthy. While jealousy is a pretty human thing as well, it shouldn't make you control others just for your own security. Time apart is healthy and a necessity.
Wow, from what you are telling me, that is abusive. He has a right to report that kind of behaviour. The next time she tries to purposefully cut away contacts or try to destroy you or your friends contacts then just report her to the Police (or any authority figure that can deal with the matter). That's not fair on him or you. I'm really amazed as to how he was able to put up with that. At the very least, you have evidence of her being abusive, so if she's too much of a pest, just report her ass and have yourself a good day!

I mean, in terms of romancing: I think it's a necessity to keep a relationship going if there is no manipulation, ill will or devious intention. Liking somebody and making sure that feeling stays is accomplished through the means of individuals understanding each others love languages. But, you're right in saying that it shouldn't detract from an individual friendship and family maintenance. Obsession over anything is unhealthy if it is not maintained and controlled properly. And as far as jealousy goes, jealousy is an entirely personal thing: it's fabricated by your mind. As Shakespeare states "it's a green eyed monster" and it's up to the jealous individual to really place their jealousy into perspective as the only person that it is damaging is themselves. An escapism from jealousy is the best way to combat it if you have a repeated cycle of being jealous of something e.g: your ex's new partner.
 

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Oh boy, here we go.

Romance in social media? Eugh. That's one thing that's pretty high on my "things that make me grind my teeth" list. I don't care about these people in the first place, I don't know who most of them are, and I'm pretty sure that a good percentage of them end up in breakups or massive divorce dramas. Usually, that kind of stuff either bores me or disgusts me.

In social media that doesn't involve "real people," I guess it can be alright sometimes, but I more often get very irritated when yet another unnecessary romance/face-eating scene/love triangle gets shoehorned into whatever story I'm trying to get through. It gets particularly bad when all the romance is just reduced to "sexy stuff" and there's no actual interesting chemistry between the pair.

As for real life, eh, I don't think I've lived long enough to understand it all very well. I've got a thing for personal space, so I've got an aversion to touchy-feely stuff. I just know that it's always annoyed me that, both in real life and in fiction, as soon as you get two people together in a close friendship, everyone- and I mean everyone- swoops in and assumes that they must be crazy in love or something. And if you happen to be part of this OTP, everyone will pester you about it.
 

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BlackOsprey said:
Romance in social media? Eugh. That's one thing that's pretty high on my "things that make me grind my teeth" list. I don't care about these people in the first place, I don't know who most of them are, and I'm pretty sure that a good percentage of them end up in breakups or massive divorce dramas. Usually, that kind of stuff either bores me or disgusts me.
You reminded me of all the celebrity publicity from the paparazzi too. I really detest those magazines because, who really cares about any of these actors getting married, having affairs, having children, or divorcing half of the time? Same goes for anyone in politics. This is one of those things where its unbelievable how people use the idealism of romance and relationships to make a few bucks. I feel like it just ruins peoples careers or lives because, its entertainment or an advantage to move up the ladder for some.

BlackOsprey said:
In social media that doesn't involve "real people," I guess it can be alright sometimes, but I more often get very irritated when yet another unnecessary romance/face-eating scene/love triangle gets shoehorned into whatever story I'm trying to get through. It gets particularly bad when all the romance is just reduced to "sexy stuff" and there's no actual interesting chemistry between the pair.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. It seems unnecessary for every story, movie, or television show to have a love triangle and love story. This is why I've grown to like comic books so much more over the past two years now. Considering comic books & graphic novels hardly ever focuses on a love match and has more to do with saving the world, losing powers, power ups, or something else entirely awesome. I don't mind if there is a relationship in a story but, it has to be believable to me or make me invest my time into liking the characters enough to want them together or apart.

---

How do you guys feel about stories where the female protagonist hops from one guy to the next in terms of romance/relationships? Do you think it portrays how people are in real life in terms of growth or maturity?
 

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Ooh, this topic is very interesting. Where to start on this one...

HOW I FEEL ABOUT ROMANCE AS PORTRAYED IN...

Media:

I haven't seen this opinion too often, but, depending on how it is portrayed, I love romantic relations in media. People that go "oh, there's romance in a movie, and we've seen that before, so it must be terrible" piss me off, considering half of the time they don't dig into the relationship enough beforehand (*coughcoughKORRASAMIcoughcough*) and they try to pass it off as "bad" just because it has been done before (which, if you believe in the 4 types of stories theory that exists, is simply not true). I think romance can be done very well, such as in Legend of Korra and The Amazing Spiderman 2, where the romance is not only believable, but also extremely satisfying. Can it be awful and cliche? Absolutely, which is one of many reasons why I hate Pretty Little Liars so god damn much. But it has just as much potential to be heart-melting and beautiful, like the romance between Robin and Starfire in Teen Titans.

In life:

I'll start right off the bat at saying that I'm pretty bad at romance myself. I've had a few girlfriends in my time, and no relationship has ended well, whether by my own fault or someone else's. My own relationships also have lasted on a maximum of 7 weeks and a minimum of three days, so I don't have too much experience with a lengthy relationship, either. Despite that, I really want to settle down and get married after college, and I would love to have a girlfriend right now. I'm doing a lot better fitting in in college than I ever did in high school right now, and I think that one girl is going to agree to go on a date with me soon. I'm also one of those people that can fall in love with someone despite their experience, and my crush right now, despite being a bit hefty, is so funny and awesome.

Let me put it this way: despite not kissing a girl since November 2013, I do still remember what it was like, and I remember how happy I was whenever I would kiss my girlfriend. Love is a beautiful thing when you take time to let it grow and see where it heads, and romance is always welcomed in society, especially since humans are becoming increasingly social creatures, "needing" another person to share their romantic feelings towards. I learned this when one of my girlfriends, who was my ex by this time, told me that "I didn't need another girlfriend" because girlfriends are useless sacks of space where you can dump your feelings into, and that the only thing you should need to be happy is yourself. While she is partly right with the loving yourself thing, she missed the fact that there's nothing wrong with loving another person. She said to me that it was wrong to be attracted to someone else, as if I had committed some sort of sin for not committing myself to only me. I hope that everyone realizes that, yes, being in love with someone isn't necessary at all, and you can totally be fine not being attracted to anyone or not dating anyone. However, don't be sour towards those that are paired with someone else, as there's nothing wrong with that, either.

To those of you who have also had relationship troubles, please, reply to this, and tell me what they are. I very well know a lot of ways to fuck up a relationship, as I often ended up doing that a lot, and any feedback about a time where you felt alone or a time where you felt like having a girlfriend was, falsely, the only thing that could make your life happy would be much appreciated, as I have felt all of that before :)
 

Alpha Baymax

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Ooh, this topic is very interesting. Where to start on this one...

HOW I FEEL ABOUT ROMANCE AS PORTRAYED IN...

Media:

I haven't seen this opinion too often, but, depending on how it is portrayed, I love romantic relations in media. People that go "oh, there's romance in a movie, and we've seen that before, so it must be terrible" piss me off, considering half of the time they don't dig into the relationship enough beforehand (*coughcoughKORRASAMIcoughcough*) and they try to pass it off as "bad" just because it has been done before (which, if you believe in the 4 types of stories theory that exists, is simply not true). I think romance can be done very well, such as in Legend of Korra and The Amazing Spiderman 2, where the romance is not only believable, but also extremely satisfying. Can it be awful and cliche? Absolutely, which is one of many reasons why I hate Pretty Little Liars so god damn much. But it has just as much potential to be heart-melting and beautiful, like the romance between Robin and Starfire in Teen Titans.
Yeah, I personally like romantic relationships too if it is not too cliché or placed into a medium just because. It’s a really human and mysterious feeling to this day and can really make a series that much more valued (just as you said, Korra’s relationships and Robin and Starfire’s relationship are really believable, interesting and downright romantic). You know, maybe it’s either because I’m a romantic myself, or, the characters that I’ve mentioned actually have romance executed very well. I mean, there’s plenty of live action movies that have great romance like ‘In your eyes’, ‘Celeste and Jesse Forever’, ‘What if’, ‘The magic of Belle Isle’ etc.
In life:

I'll start right off the bat at saying that I'm pretty bad at romance myself. I've had a few girlfriends in my time, and no relationship has ended well, whether by my own fault or someone else's. My own relationships also have lasted on a maximum of 7 weeks and a minimum of three days, so I don't have too much experience with a lengthy relationship, either. Despite that, I really want to settle down and get married after college, and I would love to have a girlfriend right now. I'm doing a lot better fitting in in college than I ever did in high school right now, and I think that one girl is going to agree to go on a date with me soon. I'm also one of those people that can fall in love with someone despite their experience, and my crush right now, despite being a bit hefty, is so funny and awesome.

Let me put it this way: despite not kissing a girl since November 2013, I do still remember what it was like, and I remember how happy I was whenever I would kiss my girlfriend. Love is a beautiful thing when you take time to let it grow and see where it heads, and romance is always welcomed in society, especially since humans are becoming increasingly social creatures, "needing" another person to share their romantic feelings towards. I learned this when one of my girlfriends, who was my ex by this time, told me that "I didn't need another girlfriend" because girlfriends are useless sacks of space where you can dump your feelings into, and that the only thing you should need to be happy is yourself. While she is partly right with the loving yourself thing, she missed the fact that there's nothing wrong with loving another person. She said to me that it was wrong to be attracted to someone else, as if I had committed some sort of sin for not committing myself to only me. I hope that everyone realizes that, yes, being in love with someone isn't necessary at all, and you can totally be fine not being attracted to anyone or not dating anyone. However, don't be sour towards those that are paired with someone else, as there's nothing wrong with that, either.

To those of you who have also had relationship troubles, please, reply to this, and tell me what they are. I very well know a lot of ways to diddly up a relationship, as I often ended up doing that a lot, and any feedback about a time where you felt alone or a time where you felt like having a girlfriend was, falsely, the only thing that could make your life happy would be much appreciated, as I have felt all of that before :)
Wow, a wild relationship advisor appeared! :wink:

Seriously though, I like your philosophy on this. This is the reason as to why I like romance. Sure, it’s criticised as cheesy, sassy, “cringey”, but when it’s done right between yourself and the person you love, it really is a wonderful feeling that has a lot of health and social benefits. Of course, we’re now in a society in which relationships have far higher standards and it’s easier than ever to dispose of your significant other if they don’t meet your standards, or, the “concept” of commitment is a lot more loose, however, I think, deep down, it’s something (at least once in an individual’s life) a person wants to have.

By the way, most of the people who’ve responded to this are girls, so, I think you’d be an even more helpful relationship advisor than you may have initially expected.
 

Alpha Baymax

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How do you guys feel about stories where the female protagonist hops from one guy to the next in terms of romance/relationships? Do you think it portrays how people are in real life in terms of growth or maturity?
Honestly, I see that as a reflection of post-modern society. Because we as human beings are more advanced, we have more choice in lifestyle choices and women have more rights over their lives, the media is reflecting that for valuable entertainment.

As far as female protagonists in media doing something like that, it depends on their intention. If they're doing it as a means of personal growth and realization then I'm all for it. It's a human choice to make. However, if it's a means of drama or to stir jealousy then that's just cold. I'm supportive of ships and certain people (or beings) being compatible, however, if unnecessary heartbreak or pain is involved in the process then I'm against it. In layman terms, love shouldn't be used as a weapon against someone else.
 
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