Help/Support ► [Question] She's already got a boyfriend.... [Question]

[Unabomber]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

i've met him. i know of him, just not about him. explain your reasoning as to why i should tell her please.

because the longer you don't, the longer it will eat at you, the longer you have to wait for your chance to be with her, and the sooner you find out if she feels the same way.

 

[Nojerom]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

Yeah, I agree with dude.

 

[Teiku 5]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

If you make a move of someone who has a girlfriend/boyfriend, It will only make the people around you think that your a horrible person. One of my best friends told one of my ex's that she fell inlove with him since grade seven even though I was full on inlove with him. He chose her over me and now all our friends, since we all share the same friends, think he is utter scum. And since I still slightly like him, it really hurts me.

So my suggestion, just wait.

well our circle of friends isnt even that big and to be honest the only person's reaction who im concerned about is the girls. even if news got around that i did like her, it wouldnt be a big deal except for some embarrassment on my part.

Male friends of mine have confessed feelings for me even though I have a boyfriend. And, not to be pessimistic or harsh, it did end the friendships. I felt guilty talking/hanging out with them because I felt like I was leading them on/betraying my boyfriend. I knew it would make my boyfriend feel uncomfortable, and even though he never directly told me to stop, I respected those feelings. And to be honest, if she's been with him for over a year, you have very little chance of breaking that up.

see, even though she's been with him for almost a year, i have no clue on how strong their relationship is. it being her first, she might just be holding on to it so she can have the love feeling satisfied. i dont see as breaking up cuz she got bored and unhappy with the situation. all she ever says is that they are doing good but im not sure if she ever means it or if she just doesnt want to talk about (she doesnt like to talk about herself b/c she thinks its selfish).

and im not sure but i just have this feeling that she wouldnt hold it against me if i told her and she didnt feel the same way. im just not sure if that feeling is an itelligent thought that came from my brain or a fantasy that i pulled out of my ass to try and make myself happy.

omg, this decision is so hard to make.

because the longer you don't, the longer it will eat at you, the longer you have to wait for your chance to be with her, and the sooner you find out if she feels the same way.

i know.........

 

[Unabomber]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

then go for it bro. the worst that could happen is that she says she doesn't feel the same way. and if that happens, there are more women than men. so your chances of finding another girl are very high.

 

[_EX]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

then go for it bro. the worst that could happen is that she says she doesn't feel the same way. and if that happens, there are more women than men. so your chances of finding another girl are very high.

But isnt the problem that she is his best friend and he doesnt want to make it weird?

 

[Teiku 5]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

yes _ex, you're right. thats the only true problem about the whole situation.

 

[Stavvy]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

I say you'd just be able to laugh it off and call it a stupid idea, lol.

 

[Teiku 5]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

I say you'd just be able to laugh it off and call it a stupid idea, lol.

you mean like ask her and then just be like "oh i was was just wondering" or "oh i was just testing you" kind of thing? i was starting to think about that but then i just discarded the idea. im not sure if i'd be able to pull it off but i might think on it some more.

 

[Stavvy]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

Maybe not as cliche as that, but yeah.

 

[Teiku 5]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

well obviously lol. i dunno, i'll think about it.

 

[The Lionheart]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

I just think (though I don't know) that even if she does like you, she has a boyfriend right now. For you two to be dating would mean that she would have to break up with her current boyfriend, who (at the moment) she likes and probably doesn't want to alienate.

 

[Teiku 5]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

even if she didnt break up with her boyfriend to be with me, i would just be happy with the answer of if i ever had a chance or not. the knowledge of that simple fact would be enough to satisfy me i think.

 

[Nojerom]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

I don't want to be negative or anything, but if she ever says something like "I'll come back for u <333" then just stay her best friend. I've seen it happen alot. They don't come back for you that often.

And if you look at it, telling her the truth might make your friendship stronger. Just respect her space and her boyfriend. Play it cool.

 

[Teiku 5]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

I don't want to be negative or anything, but if she ever says something like "I'll come back for u <333" then just stay her best friend. I've seen it happen alot. They don't come back for you that often.

And if you look at it, telling her the truth might make your friendship stronger. Just respect her space and her boyfriend. Play it cool.

oh i definitely wouldnt have a problem with that. the major thing is just getting it off my chest and hoping she doesnt take it a bad way. if she takes it a good or neutral way, i'll be happy either way.

im definitely hoping so. that would work just fine.

 

[Organization_42]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

Having been on both sides of this scenario (except that everyone involved was actually single), I think it's best if you don't say anything, especially when she's already dating someone else. Maybe she does have some feelings for you, and maybe they're stronger than the ones she has for her boyfriend, but even in the best case scenario, you would still be putting her in an awkward situation, and that's something that nobody appreciates. I understand that you're probably feeling pressure because you're a senior and getting close to the time when you guys won't see each other as much, but you'll still get to see her on college breaks when you're both home, and who knows? Maybe somewhere down the line, she'll break up with her boyfriend, you'll still like her, and THEN you can tell her how you feel.

For now, I recommend that you just be the best friend for her that you can possibly be. That includes putting her feelings first and not saying anything about your crush, because the revelation would cause problems for her and her current boyfriend. That's what love is all about anyway: putting the other person first before yourself. At least, that's my view on the situation. I hope it helped!

 

[Derogon]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

Be a friend and ask her slowly. Build up to it. Like get her alone so no one can interrupt you and what not. And if she says no that she doesn't like you that way try harder to show how much you like her. But don't try like noticeably hard subtle hard, like build up to it. lol.

But don't, a major don't, let it get to you if she says no. Be happy, continue talking to her like a best friend. It will work out.

 

[Teiku 5]

Re: She's already got a boyfriend....

UPDATE:::::

(omg second time i had to type this :/...anyway)

so i took her to the musical last night. had a great time, but there is news to tell.

so me and my dad picked her up and we drove into D.C.. he dropped us off so we could get dinner, and she decides to go to Johnny Rocket's (not my personal choice, there were lots of choices, but i wasnt about to tell her where to go). so we're there, eating our food and guess who shows up? HER BOYFRIEND!!! apparently he guessed where she was gonna go and decided to drop in. he left pretty fast but still.....

so we get starbucks and walk over to the theater. we got there plenty early and had lots of time to walk around and go up on the roof, look at d.c.. it was so nice. the musical was awesome as well.

so its time to go home, and guess who's driving us home? HER BOYFRIEND. i was so excited, as you can imagine. /sarcasm. so first off he takes forever. then his car has a really small backseat (which i sat in of course, so that they could sit in the front and hold holds ...ugh), he had the windows down the whole time and it was windy and cold. he doesn't even talk except to her apparently so the ride home was pretty quiet except for some forced conversation.

everything was great with her, i just hate the fact that he was involved. but i learned that apparently they argue....and she always blames him lmao.

i think if i had actually said anything last night, it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. i guess we'll see what happens this year.

 

[Stavvy]

Re: [UPDATED] She's already got a boyfriend.... [UPDATED]

I guess just wait and see how their relationship pans out. It's true that couples DO argue, but I can't honestly say how much is a good amount.

 

[Crossroads]

Re: [UPDATED] She's already got a boyfriend.... [UPDATED]

Uh yeah he's going to be around bro. Boyfriend.
She probably told him about it. Being her boyfriend and all.
Yeah they argue and she blames him. Boyfriend.
She probably is getting vibes from you by now. Playing a little game. No chance, don't get caught up in that bullshit.
I think you should find another girl mate.

 

[Teiku 5]

Re: [UPDATED] She's already got a boyfriend.... [UPDATED]

I guess just wait and see how their relationship pans out. It's true that couples DO argue, but I can't honestly say how much is a good amount.

yeah

ehh, they prolly dont argue too much.

Uh yeah he's going to be around bro. Boyfriend.
She probably told him about it. Being her boyfriend and all.
Yeah they argue and she blames him. Boyfriend.
She probably is getting vibes from you by now. Playing a little game. No chance, don't get caught up in that bullshit.
I think you should find another girl mate.

he's gonna be around when she goes out with her one of her friends somewhere? yeah sorry, that's still kinda creepy.
well, duh.
is the bolding necessary?
she's not the type to do that. and i don't think she's getting any vibes. just sayin. im not that obvious, and the way i treat her has never really changed.
and how do you suggest i do that?