Help/Support ► Problems I've been having

[Darkness of White]

So, I have a problem with most of the guys I've started to like for some reason or another. Just about all of them are either completely gay or are bi and leaning more towards guys than girls. Watching some YT videos of a REALLY hott guy who happens to be gay got me thinking about it. The only guy who's said he loves me IRL in nearly 2 years has a boyfriend, and of course, he is REALLY hott himself, in additon to being one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. I'm not saying I have any problems with people who are gay or bi or anything, but it's really a downer when the guy I like is gay because I, being a female, have a 0% chance of getting with him.

Now, I'm kinda insecure about dating all together at this point in time. One guy ruined my 16th birthday by giving me my first "real" kiss, then telling me the next day that he was going to go with his girlfriend who he'd just cheated on the night before. He led me on and tore my heart out the next day. That was in Sep of 2008. Now I am Maid of Honor at his wedding, not for him though, but for his bride who happens to have become one of my better friends.

Another guy, in Jan of 2009, and I met through my best friend and seriously, it was love at first sight. My friend even said he was dieing to see me again as much as I was to see him and was. However, the next time I saw him was a few months later, at his funeral. He'd hung himself in a closet. Whether or not that had anything to do with me, I will never know, but because of those 2 events, I certainly feel like I'm undatable.

The closest thing I've ever had to a date was at Prom this year, when I got my best friend in and she decided she was my date that night. The only slow dance I got with a guy was a 3-way dance between my best friend and the guy who is like the God of the drama department and the only one who can do the Thriller dance.

I'll be 18 in September of this year, and since school got out about a week and a half ago, I've been a Senior. I've been hurt in more ways than most people I know can imagine when it comes to guys. I've been told not to look for a guy, that I am attractive, the right one is out there, and all that crap, but no one seems to want to act on that. People have always cared for me in some way or another, but I feel like I am doomed to be forever without a male companion of any kind other than the friends stage.

I don't know if something is wrong with me or what, but I certainly hate my current situation. Is it possible that I truely am undatable?

 

[IceBlueWings]

I understand how you feel since I've had the same feelings before. I have fallen for guys who happen to bi (and it was a shock to me when I found out) and it left me utterly miserable. And the guys who I've fallen for who are straight either have a girlfriend or are not interested in me. I can't help it though, it's not in my power to force them to like me and it would be selfish to do so.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened in Jan 2009. And even I feel like I can't believe all those excuses such as how there will be someone out there and stuff like that.

But you shouldn't just give up so easily. You're turning 18 (and I'm turning 18 in December :])) and there's still years ahead of you. You shouldn't rush to find someone. I'm not trying to give the same lame excuse such as 'There will always be someone out there' but try to think positively. Sometimes you have to wait. Don't beat yourself up, and don't think you're not a good date. Things will work out

 

[Wehrmacht]

My condolences about your losses and hardships, but keep in this mind: nobody is "undatable". Do you take care of yourself? Do you look okay? Can you function properly in society? If so, you can get a boyfriend, don't tell yourself otherwise.

Maybe you shouldn't be so worried about getting into a relationship anyway, you still have your whole life ahead of you. But if it really bothers you that much, maybe you should take the initiative? Make some effort to go out and meet more guys? I don't know.

 

[Ehres]

I'm really sorry for what happened with the guy that you met in Jan 2009. You have my full condolences.

I'm pretty much going to repeat what the others have said: it isn't the end. You're 18, and you'll live for many, many years to come. You shouldn't be thinking about finding a perfect partner yet, since that pretty much equates to settling down. Go out and have fun; meet guys, flirt, make mistakes and learn. And along the way you might just find the guy you're looking for. You'll never know unless you try.

 

[Darkness of White]

My condolences about your losses and hardships, but keep in this mind: nobody is "undatable". Do you take care of yourself? Do you look okay? Can you function properly in society? If so, you can get a boyfriend, don't tell yourself otherwise.

Maybe you shouldn't be so worried about getting into a relationship anyway, you still have your whole life ahead of you. But if it really bothers you that much, maybe you should take the initiative? Make some effort to go out and meet more guys? I don't know.

Thanks.

Take care of myself in what way? And I just barely look okay to most guys I know. I don't know if my function in society would be concitered proper in any way.

The abyss in my heart hungers for male companionship. I've taken initiative as far as I can for someone who doesn't have a permit even.

I understand how you feel since I've had the same feelings before. I have fallen for guys who happen to bi (and it was a shock to me when I found out) and it left me utterly miserable. And the guys who I've fallen for who are straight either have a girlfriend or are not interested in me. I can't help it though, it's not in my power to force them to like me and it would be selfish to do so.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened in Jan 2009. And even I feel like I can't believe all those excuses such as how there will be someone out there and stuff like that.

But you shouldn't just give up so easily. You're turning 18 (and I'm turning 18 in December :])) and there's still years ahead of you. You shouldn't rush to find someone. I'm not trying to give the same lame excuse such as 'There will always be someone out there' but try to think positively. Sometimes you have to wait. Don't beat yourself up, and don't think you're not a good date. Things will work out

I can totally relate to the first paragraph.

Thanks hon.

Happy early bday. How can I know if I'm a good or a bad date if I've never had a date? All I know is I'm a cheap date because I don't like sea food.

I'm really sorry for what happened with the guy that you met in Jan 2009. You have my full condolences.

I'm pretty much going to repeat what the others have said: it isn't the end. You're 18, and you'll live for many, many years to come. You shouldn't be thinking about finding a perfect partner yet, since that pretty much equates to settling down. Go out and have fun; meet guys, flirt, make mistakes and learn. And along the way you might just find the guy you're looking for. You'll never know unless you try.

Thanks.

I want to find someone I can date, not to marry right away. I look around and I see most, if not all of my friends, dating, kissing, hugging, bragging and all that. Out of a 33 girl choir, I was the only virgin this last year...

 

[IceBlueWings]

I can totally relate to the first paragraph.

Thanks hon.

Happy early bday. How can I know if I'm a good or a bad date if I've never had a date? All I know is I'm a cheap date because I don't like sea food.

Happy early birthday to you too
Well, um...I don't think you need to eat sea food on a date to be called an un-cheap date... D:
I know that it gets a little depressing seeing most of your friends being lovey dovey with their boyfriends, but it's better to have a boyfriend who you know likes you as much as you like him (or around that), rather than have a boyfriend who's there just for the sake of having one. So don't rush, and you can get to know more guys like Soluus suggested. You'll have new friends and maybe later on you'll find a nice guy that you have a chance to go for in one of those guys you meet.
And...well I have no comment on the virginity :S

 

[Siren]

Have you told the bride-to-be that her future husband cheated on her with you? Or are they not the same person?

 

[Darkness of White]

I did tell her that, they are the same person. Broke them up for a while, but on the assumption I was lieing, she decided to go back to him. It brought them closer together. One month I'm dead to her, the next I'm in her wedding? Doesn't make sense does it?

 

[Wehrmacht]

Thanks.

Take care of myself in what way?

Do you shave? Take baths regularly? Watch your weight? Eat healthy? Just anything that relates to being presentable to others.

I don't know if my function in society would be concitered proper in any way.

Are you socially awkward at all? Do you have many friends? Are you good at managing your responsibilities? That's basically what I mean.

 

[Darkness of White]

Do you shave? Take baths regularly? Watch your weight? Eat healthy? Just anything that relates to being presentable to others.



Are you socially awkward at all? Do you have many friends? Are you good at managing your responsibilities? That's basically what I mean.

I keep myself clean, but I'm not exactly fit...

Awkward as in don't know what to say? The only time I'm not talking really is when I'm not supposed to. Friends.....It's better than it used to be with religious tollerance finally setting into the majority of my peers. Good friends, only a handful, people I can talk to, only a handful I can't. I wouldn't sit with just anyone at lunch though. I don't have many responsibilities to manage, but that's pretty well under control at the moment.

 

[Teiku 5]

what religion do u practice that requires tolerance from your peers?

 

[Darkness of White]

None. People go all off on me because I don't go to church. Big deal. It's not as bad as it used to be, but on the last day of school it started up again. If, however, I do choose to start practicing a religion, it'll be Wicca.

 

[Teiku 5]

do u go to a Christian school or something? prolly more than half the kids at my Christian school didnt go to church.

oh i see. imo, being a Wiccan would prolly help scare people away, not bring them closer.

 

[Darkness of White]

Nope, public school. 450-500 kids.

Some of the coolest people in school are Wiccans. There is nothing wrong with them. Lots of people around here like creepy things like ghosts and witches anyway, especially with the haunted prison less than a mile away from the High School, and the cemetary right across the street from that even closer. There are tons of rumors about this place or that being built on a Native American burrial ground and people LOVE it. Chances are, if I were Wiccan I would have more intrest.