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afrobutt

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WEW! It's me, Ningacom. Anyway, I posted a thread like a month back about this girl who asked me to this Semi-Formal thing. So I ended up going to the dance with her

and it was pretty awsome.

But now i have a new problem. I like her.... a lot. And I'm almost positive she likes me (or it might just be my imagination, or my ego.). The problem is I don't know what to do O.O.

I kinda wanna ask her out, but at the same time I don't like the idea of dating -_-. But I also don't want her to think I don't like her. And I thought about just telling her I like her, but I don't want to date her. But that seems weird and kinda lame. So I've resorted to this, halp meh T_T
 
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CtR

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At the end of the day love, members on a forum can't really tell you exactly what to do with your personal life xD those are the decisions you are going to have to make yourself, (annoying isn't it? would be nice if it was so simple xD )

However, I will ask you this. Which idea is worse, her thinking that you don't like and you lose her completely in that way even if you did one day decide she was worth it, or taking a chance telling her you like her and maybe dating? Of course it is natural you would be unsure if you don't know for definite that she does like you back that way. Maybe tell her you like her but you are unwilling to rush things?

If you don't take the chance how will you ever know? Of course that is just my opinion.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck ^^


As for the reluctance to date issue. I know you say you do not wish to date, but the thing with dating is that it doesn't have to be all rushed and fast. You can take it as slow as you wish. Don't be afraid of it.

:)
 
A

Azanulbizare

Guest
Just ask the bitch out and be like "Hey babe, gimme your name and number."
 

Leonard

Married to Crimson ♥
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Yay, looks like we've got a new Help & Support section spammer.

Anyway, I'll just try to seperate your situation into pros and cons about dating her:

pros: - You want to do something to get closer to her
- You don't want her to feel like you don't care about her
- You'd have to tell her about your feelings the "weird" way

cons: - You don't like the idea of dating

Now you just have to look which one's more significant to you.

Personally, I can't think of any other way of getting to know her better and be close to her, than dating and hanging around with her. (But that might be because I've never been in a situation like that. Maybe you can come up with some other way.)

But, as CtR said, this is a this you probably have to decide on on your own, we can only help you a little. ^^
 

Tobuoi

Who's that girl?
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And I'm...sixteen? I'm only a year older and I consider myself to be in a solid, fun relationship. I mean, it obviously varies from person to person, and perhaps there are underlying reasons beneath the fact that he's 15. That is to say, maybe his apprehensions are common of 15-year-olds in that they haven't figured out what exactly it is that bothers them. Not just the fact that they're 15. If that made any sense at all.
 
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Azanulbizare

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And I'm...sixteen? I'm only a year older and I consider myself to be in a solid, fun relationship. I mean, it obviously varies from person to person, and perhaps there are underlying reasons beneath the fact that he's 15. That is to say, maybe his apprehensions are common of 15-year-olds in that they haven't figured out what exactly it is that bothers them. Not just the fact that they're 15. If that made any sense at all.

I could've elaborated. 15 is the age in which boys, as well as girls, are being introduced to the concept of relationships. Some dig the idea, others are scared shitless. He's scared shitless, you can tell. When you were 15, were you in a healthy, solid relationship? 14?
 

afrobutt

Silver Member
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Well, may I ask what your apprehensions towards dating are, exactly?

Whelp

A) I don't understand the concept of dating, if that makes any sense at all.
B) I have no ****ing idea what I'm supposed to do
C) I don't handle intimate situations well >.<;

At the end of the day love, members on a forum can't really tell you exactly what to do with your personal life xD those are the decisions you are going to have to make yourself, (annoying isn't it? would be nice if it was so simple xD )

Haha, that would be nice ^^. I understand ya'll can only help me out so much, but I like the opinions of those not directly involved in the situation

He's scared shitless, you can tell.
QFT
 
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Azanulbizare

Guest
Whelp

A) I don't understand the concept of dating, if that makes any sense at all.
B) I have no ****ing idea what I'm supposed to do
C) I don't handle intimate situations well >.<;



Haha, that would be nice ^^. I understand ya'll can only help me out so much, but I like the opinions of those not directly involved in the situation


QFT

qft? Internet language?

There's no shame in being scared. You said it yourself, you have no clue what to do. Therefore, you fear being put in the situation that requires you to act around women.

Hey, simpleton, why don't you try comprehending what I am telling you instead of just reading the words.
 

Tobuoi

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Uh, dearie...I think that was "Quoted For Truth."

And admittedly, at 14, I was in a rather crash-course relationship, but at fifteen, I was mostly just speculative. Anyways, I get your point, I just wanna look a little further into it.

Ningacom, for now, just contemplate how much you enjoy hanging out with her by doing so. If you do enjoy it and start to feel genuinely comfortable around her and the same goes for her feelings for you, consider dating her. I think that you'll know whether or not you should date her after being around her, long enough. When it came to me liking my current boyfriend, I wasn't terribly concerned as to whether or not we'd end up together, I just enjoyed the prospect of being around him. I think that that's what you should be on the lookout for.

Of course, if there's more to it, please let us know. I'm really kind of taking a wild stab at it, currently.

Oh, I appologize if some of that was difficult to comprehend...I'm on the phone, at the moment.
 

Pelafina

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Your choices:

a: You like her enough to date her, you do so.
b: You like being sigle enough to ignore your feelings, you do so.

Pretty easy stuff.
 
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Azanulbizare

Guest
Quoted for truth? Oh.

Anyways, the best advice anyone could give you would to just be yourself. I'm sure you've heard it a million times over, but there is no better advice when it comes to women. If you get shot down, big deal. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Just relax. There isn't anything to be worried about.
 

Pelafina

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Yes, being yourself is great, just don't go overboard.

She doesn't care about your [insert obsession here], that'll only scare her away.
 

afrobutt

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Your choices:

a: You like her enough to date her, you do so.
b: You like being sigle enough to ignore your feelings, you do so.

Pretty easy stuff.

You make it sound so simple -_-;. Athough you are right...

She doesn't care about your [insert obsession here], that'll only scare her away.

hehe, I'm not that lame. Give me some credit ;P


Of course, if there's more to it, please let us know. I'm really kind of taking a wild stab at it, currently.

Well...

We do actually hang out quite a bit during school (not like every 10 minuets, but we have two classes together where we usualy talk ), so we're already close-ish. The problem is that I really don't know if I even really like her. I mean I do.... just I'm not positive if it's just spur of the moment, hormone teen stuff T_T. And I don't want to get all involved in this when it just ends up being my emotions screwing with my head. I truely hate being a teenager....
 

Leonard

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We do actually hang out quite a bit during school (not like every 10 minuets, but we have two classes together where we usualy talk ), so we're already close-ish. The problem is that I really don't know if I even really like her. I mean I do.... just I'm not positive if it's just spur of the moment, hormone teen stuff T_T. And I don't want to get all involved in this when it just ends up being my emotions screwing with my head. I truely hate being a teenager....

Well, if you even consider this possibility yourself, then there is indeed a kinda high chance that it's really just your emotions screwing with your head.

You could now either try to maintain a "friend-like" relationship with her until you are sure about your feelings, or you could just follow the saying "if you never try, you'll never find out". At the moment, I see no other options. =/
 

Tobuoi

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Ehhhh...I dunno. I have a tendancy to obsess over very brief infatuations, so I typically make myself wait at least two months before fessing up. But that's just me. When I told my other friends who've been dating each other for nearly a year how long I'd liked my current boyfriend, they responded, "THREE MONTHS?! Jesus, and you still haven't started dating?"

So, time will tell, most likely. Your feelings for her will either intensify or they'll dwindle and eventually, you'll know her answer. You'll loose interest in her completely or you'll reach a point where you can see absolutely no reason not to date her. At least, that's my guess according to my own measly "experience."
 

Princess of KH

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The only way you are really gonna know if you actually like her, or if your emorions are just fooling you: wait. I'm not saying you have to wait for years until you absolutely know that you like her - that's not what i mean. When i say to wait - i mean to wait a while until you know her better. Sometimes, you think you like someone, but then you realize you actually don't once you get to know them really well.

It's best to be her friend before you try & start a relationship. Friendship is a trial for relationship - it shows whether or not a relationship will work between you & them. You get to know a lot about them, then you can decide. You don't have to know every single detail about them & their life - but it IS good to kn ow them really well before you jump into a relationship.

If you don't like dating, don't worry about it. If you like her, then just be friends for right now. Dating doesn't have to be the "serious, sole ties to each other, spend every mintue of the day together, call each other every ten mintues on the cell, go on dates all the time alone" kind of thing. I don't even want to date like that - i'm not interested in dating right now, either. (but i don't hate my teen life)

Just do what you think is right, & good luck!
 

afrobutt

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Well... I've been thinking about it. I like her... but I'm not sure why. So I'm thinking this is just random teenage hormone affection.

BUT!!!

I generaly don't like most girls (I'm not gay, it's just they make me want to kick small animals.) So it makes me wonder, if she is one of the few girls that I can stand, that would infer that I DO like her...

So, time will tell, most likely. Your feelings for her will either intensify or they'll dwindle and eventually, you'll know her answer. You'll loose interest in her completely or you'll reach a point where you can see absolutely no reason not to date her. At least, that's my guess according to my own measly "experience."

The thing with that is.... I don't have paetiance (I also can't spell). I really don't want to spend 2-3 months thinking about this, feeling that damn feeling in my chest when I see her, ect.
 

Macabre

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so,your completely unsure if you like her or not,or that if she's perfect for you or that you have to wait to see what you feel?
 
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