POEMS--Made

[.:{S u t e k i~M i d o r i}:.]

Has anyone got any poems you made up? If it's ok, could you post it up? Ill post mine:

WISH YOU WERE HERE:
Wishing you were here,
not showing any tears,
Looking at the sky, wondering if youre nereby,
im closing my eyes,
and thinking things through,
wondering if my times,
should've been with you.

PLS RATE OUT OF 10~ ^-^

 

[fantasygurl1227]

Hey thats a really good poem!!! 8/10
u know whats weird though all of these poems seem to be in kairi's position... or make me think of her when i read the poem...

 

[rikubaka67]

http://forums.khinsider.com/showthread.php?t=37011

^link to the thread I made about my poem.

 

[chaywa]

A Message from God to Humanity – Losing My Religion

Would you listen even when I told you?
What on earth was I to say?
Should I make you stop what you’re doing?
Or make myself go away?

I can’t take the pressure anymore,
All life is crumbling away
Your actions are causing annihilation
And you’re doing it everyday

I thought you would be perfect
A happy mixture of difference
But my creation is ruined
I have now lost my omnibenevolence

You all seem to defy me
I have done nothing to you
I even gave you the power to live
I am the creator and that is the truth

It’s not my duty to be there
For all of you to need me
Although your lack of motivation
Suggests that I am the only one who believes

So put down your guns,
Put down your oil and end this silly feud,
I can’t continue to control,
So I’m handing control over to you

Your life is now in your hands
What else is there to say?
I can’t stop what you are doing
So quite simply, I’m going away.

Meh, not my best...

 

[its_beca]

Kagura4Kyo&4Haru, the last two lines caught me. How I felt about other lines:

WISH YOU WERE HERE:
Wishing you were here,
not showing any tears,

First line, fine. Second line, nyeh, okay.

Looking at the sky,
wondering if you're nereby,

First line, okay. Second, more nyeh, doesn't quite fit as well (lenght wise).

im closing my eyes,
and thinking things through,
wondering if my times,
should've been with you.

Good.

6.8/10 ~ It's okay. Nothing disastrous, but nothing hugely impressive either.


chaywa, I like the view point. Poem itself isn't to bad, I just can't go through all of it at the mo... *procastinates* :]