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Phantoms of the Hearts



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Fractured_Heart628

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Chapter 54:

Chester found himself drifting deeper into the darkness. He started to forget things and he closed his eyes starting to remove his feelings. His thoughts called out from his mind quietly, "Falling...falling...into darkness."

Something inside Chester's heart made him open his eyes. He stopped falling and stood upon a Tiffany glass mural of a princess. He called out into the darkness, "Is there anyone around here? Can anybody hear me?"

No answer came to him. He could only think about his remaining memories of Eli. "Eli, what happened to you?"

Suddenly, a weak familiar whisper came to him. He looked around seeing no one there. "Maybe, I am just hearing things." He walked around.

The whisper repeated itself, "Chester, where are you?" Chester turned around only to see a orange-haired boy appear out of the darkness.

Chester backed away from the figure with doubt in his heart. He yelled out in a surprised voice, "Why are you here? What happened to you?" He backed away from the boy not able to wield his Keyblade, "Hu, what's going on?"

Eli's whispered, "The Darkness clouds the Hearts of everyone. With a clouded heart the Keyblade can't be summoned."

Chester screamed, "C'mon, Eli, snap out of it. What happened to the boy that never gave up?"

Eli rolled his eyes and just walked over to Chester. "Darkness is the only companion in this place. I have been alone for so long that I have forgotten how to feel."

Chester hugged Eli with tears in his eyes. "Eli, you have me, now. I won't leave you. Someone will come for us, someday. We just to have hope. Besides, we always have our Nobodies to count on."
 
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Annoyance

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From what I've seen, Xiolio, you really need to realize when there are PARTS of a chapter and when there are chapters.
Your chapters are a page worth of material and it's really annoying to go through. I'm going to be honest. It's annoying because you triple post just to post up the next chapter when you could just have one full chapter and post that.

It's great that you're writing and stuff. All the power to you, but please... Think about what I've said.
 

Reverie

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Not a bad chapter, but I feel that it really needs to be extanded and have a little more details.
 
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