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Phantoms of the Hearts



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Fractured_Heart628

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Prolouge:

"Tevin, you can't leave me here alone!" cried a little, curly red-headed girl.

A taller curly red-headed boy patted her head and whispered to her softly, "Don't worry, Tiessa, I'll be back for you in the future. But, I have to do to protect your existence." He pulled his hand away from the crying six-year-old Tiessa and walked towards the edge of the sun-lit cliff, which overlooked an orange sea. Sea gulls flew pass him and he gasped deeply.

Tiessa ran to him, but someone picked her up before she reached her beloved Tevin. She cried in a panicking voice, "LET ME DOWN! I don't Tevin to leave."

The mysterious stranger replied to the frightened girl's words, "I am sorry, Tiessa, but Tevin has to do this. If he doesn't, you'll no longer exist."

Tiessa looked up to see that the person who was holding her was Tevin's friend and local guard, Lonny. Lonny's messy black bangs splashed infront his head. He swiped them back and tucked them underneath his orange-yellowish du-rag. It was Tevin's friend and a local guard, Lonny.
Tevin. He whispered to his friend, "Tevin, I hope you are doing the right thing."

Tevin looked at the grey sun and raised his left arm. His left arm had a silver heart on it. The silver heart and the grey sun glowed simutanously. Tevin looked back at Tiessa and Lonny and smiled at them. His body began to vanish as the sun and jeweled heart glowed.

Tiessa whimpered aloud, "Tevin, please stay with us!"

Tevin replied to her, "I can't Tiessa. I have to go and join myself with the Realm of Light, in order to protect this place from the Heartless." He winked at her and his body finally vanished into several grey particles.

Tiessa jumped out of Lonny's arms and ran to the cliff. She yelled as tears ran down her face, "TEVIN!"

Lonny walked over to her. He patted her shoulder and scooped the young girl up. "It's okay, Tiessa. Tevin isn't truly gone. He left this behind for you."

Lonny hands the girl a keychain with a silver heart with an orange fire symbol on it to the small girl. She hugged it close to her chest. Lonny and her left the cliff overlooking the orange sea with the grey sun, otherwise known as the Disappearance Cliff. The small girl fell asleep and started dreaming about her beloved Tevin.
 
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Fractured_Heart628

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It's about this girl named Tiessa, who grows up in Pathos Castle with her two friends, Donny and Iolio. She ends up waking from several dreams from her mysterious childhood and she starts to question her very own existence. And, what her connection is to a mysterious boy named Tevin, who always shows up in her dreams?
 

Fractured_Heart628

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Chapter I: Morning

Tiessa felt a presence over her sleeping body. She knew this, because there was a bright light shining everywhere in her face and two voices whispering to each other, "Do you think she notices what's going on? No, stupid, of course not."

Tiessa opened her eyes and lifted her drowsy body up from the Fleece sheets of her canopy bed. She noticed infront of her the two surprised boys. One was slightly taller than the other and much more slimmer in face and in stature. His eyes were very dark and his hair was very thick and wiry. The other one was a bit shorter and slightly stalky. His golden fluffy hair, tan skin, and blue eyes met the girl's eyes. Tiessa opened her mouth and shouted angrily, "Christopher, Chester, why are you doing in my room?!"

The taller one stepped forward smirking, "Terror wanted us to get your lazy butt out of bed. It's almost time for the look-out, ya know!"

The shorter one shoved him in the shoulder and whispered, "Shut up, Christopher!"

Christopher turned to the short boy and shoved him back, "Atleast, I am not the one that is deaf, because he listens to music at full volume all the time." The boy shoved him with more aggrestion this time and yelled, "Shut up, PRETTY BOY!"

Tiessa looked at the two of them and yelled, "GET OUT OF MY ROOM or I'll...!"

Chester and Christopher exchanged terrified glances and ran out of the room. Tiessa got out of her bed and started getting ready for the day. She had always had to deal with those two clowns everyday. Tiessa had gotten used to threatening them. But, she still didn't know why she had to get up at 5 in the morning and roaming the castle with the other guards nor why she had those silver diamonds on her arms. Tiessa never thought much about it nor about anything else. She just ran with the flow.
 

Fractured_Heart628

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Chapter 2: Meeting

Tiessa walked over to a small shelf in her room and pulled out a strange looking Keyblade. It was shaped like a wand of some kind. She pulled it out from it's dusty top shelf and exited her room. Tiessa walked down the spiral staircase until she reached the parlor.

She closed the large wooden doors behind her. All the 97 faces turned and gave her a silent glare. Three people walked infront of her from the right side of the room. Only one of them had his tan uniformed hood off. His hair was blonde and it covered entirely the right side of his face, his eyes were bright yellow, and he was smaller than the other two. The other two always wore their hoods up. You could tell them apart, because the tallest one was the stalkiess out of the three and the other one was always on fours walking and acting like an animal.

The blonde man passed Tiessa eerily and gave her his usual suspicious glare. He turned from her and stood infront of the large crowd along with the other two. He whispered in a low voice, "People, my fellow guards, I have important news."

Tiessa finally had taken a seat. She was seated next to Christopher, Chester, and of course their boss, Christian. He gave her a silent glare with his purple eyes and purposely pushed his large white and orchid spiky hair infront of her. She yelled at him, "Get your hair out of my face, Christian!" Christan removed his hair and pushed Tiessa out of her seat.

The blonde man looked at Tiessa and yelled, "Get back in your seat and stop interrupting!"

Tiessa flinched, a small boy with blonde spiky hair and a black bandana ran to her side and helped her to a seat. She sat in the chair next to him and whispered quietly into his ear, "Thank you, Iolio." He nodded at her.

The blonde man yelled, "A group of Purebloods and Emblem Heartless have showed up in our world and they seek to rid us of our hearts! We need to erradicate them from this place before you know who shows up."

Everyone exchanged confused looks at each other. The man repeated, "That blasted ORGANIZATION XIII! If any of us fall to them than we'll become Nobodies ourselves. And, fellow members, I don't want to see any of us fall into their clutches. Everyone is dismissed." He walked back to the side of his two friends. And, they headed out of the room together.

Everyone walked out of the parlor, except Tiessa and Iolio. She stared at Iolio thinking about what the man had said. Tiessa asked Iolio, "What is ORGANIZATION XIII? Why is Whirlwind so worried about them coming here?" Iolio shrugged and helped her from her seat and the two of them headed up to the training room.


Chapter 3: Into The Woods

Iolio had knocked the Wand Keyblade out of Tiessa's hands. He snickered, "You need to do better than that, Tiessa."

She rolled her eyes at him and ran over to the keyblade dodging all of Iolio's attacks. Tiessa picked up the keyblade and gripped it tightly into her left hand. She knocked over her laughing friend into a corner of the large room. Tiessa walked over to him. She smirked, "Do you need a hand?"

Iolio blushed with embarrassment. He reached for her hand and laughed, "You just got lucky. I'll beat you next time. Trust me."

Tiessa playfully hit his shoulder, "Yeah right, in your dreams!"

He turned to her and asked, "Tiessa, I heard that there is this dark thing with these wierd-looking antennaes on it's head and yellow eyes out in the woods. No one knows what is and I've heard it's pretty powerful. Let's say we go investigate it. Do you want to or are you just chicken?"

Tiessa hit his shoulder and folded her arms. She said with a haughty grin on her face, "I'm not chicken, let's go. Besides, it's nighttime, so there is bound to be a whole area full of them tonight. We can handle them. And, Whirlwind and the other guards will be grateful that we annihilated them."

Iolio smirked, "That's the spirit, Tiessa." He got up and ran out of the room. Tiessa followed him.

It was already midnight. The two of them were at the castle entrance and everyone was already asleep. Not a human soul insight. "Let's go now," said them to each other.

Both of them opened the large Maghony wooden doors. They ran out of the castle, over the bridge perched over the lake of lava, and deep into the dark mysterious forest. Tiessa said to Iolio, "I can't wait to see them."

Meanwhile, back at the castle, Whirlwind was in a room full of containers with sleeping people in them, he stood infront of one of the containers and whispered to himself, "Xallow, when will your heart be mine?" He turned his back to the containers and walked out of the room.
 
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Organization_42

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This should probably be under the Fanfiction section since it takes place in the Kingdom Hearts universe. (At least, I'm assuming it does, with the Heartless and Nobodies and Organization XIII?)

The prologue is rather intriguing and the story's got lots of potential. You do a good job of describing the characters' appearances and what their surroundings look like; however, I think you should also describe who the characters are, personality-wise, what their daily lives are like, what their job as guards is, etc, unless you're already planning to explain those things at a later time. It just helps get everyone more involved in the story when they understand who Tiessa is and what she's all about. Then we can all sympathize with her better.

Let me know when more chapters are posted, and I'll look forward to reading them! :)
 

Fractured_Heart628

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Chapter 4: Mysterious Stranger

Meanwhile, back at the castle, Whirlwind calls in Chester, Christian, and Christopher into his bedroom. It is very dark with not much light in it. The door opens and the purple-white spiky haired man along with his two sidekicks walk in. Christian says in an obnoxious tone, "What is it, boss man?"

The blonde haired man turns around to them smriking sinisterly, "I want you to follow, Iolio and Tiessa before they get into trouble."

Christopher steps forward and complains, "You're saying that you want us to capture those babies! Man, and I was right in the middle of great dream where I was kissing a beautiful brunette." Chester kicks him in the shins and gives him a glare.

Christian replies with an evil grin on his face, "Sure boss, I'll be sure to bring them back here." He turns out of the room saying to his two sidekicks, "Chester, Christopher, c'mon, we have work to do... hehehehehe."

Christopher sighs, "I want to catch up on my beauty-sleep. I don't want to catch those babies, they always ruin everything around here!"

Chester had started walking off when he heard Christopher's complaints. Christopher was always the type to complain a lot about everything. Chester and Christian had always put up with it. He walked back over to his friend and slapped him across the face and forcibly grabbed his hand. Chester yelled at his friend, "Come on, we have to go to catch those kids before they reveal our secrets to those stupid Nobodies and put our hearts all on the line!" He pulled Christopher out of the room.

The three of them exited out of the parlor and onto the bridge overlooking the ocean of lava underneath them. Christian said to his two sidekicks, while he summoned up two silver and purple blades that attached to his risks out of the darkness of the castle, "Summon up your weapons, we have business to take care of." The other two looked at each other. Chester summoned up a blue-grey Harmonica out of from his sleeves. Christopher was embarrassed. He whimpered as he summoned up his black metal daggers, "Why do we have to do all the hard work around here?!"

Christian and Chester gave him a silent glare and disappeared from the bridge. Christopher sighed and put his arms together and made himself teleport to their location from the bridge.
 

Organization_42

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Christopher steps forward and complains, "You're saying that you want us to capture those babies! Man, and I was right in the middle of great dream where I was kissing a beautiful brunette." Chester kicks him in the shins and gives him a glare.
LOL! :lol:

I like Christopher the best so far; like you said, he has the most personality out of all of them. This chapter was better, although I would cut down on the word repetition. By that, I mean that you use their names a lot in the same sentence, and plus it can get a little confusing when their names all look and sound the same: Christopher, Chester, and Christian.

That's my biggest complaint though. This chapter was much better. And what's Christopher's weapon, btw?
 

Fractured_Heart628

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Chapter 5: Conversation

Tiessa and Iolio are walking down a long rocky dirt-covered trail out in the forest. Iolio stops at an edge of cliff on the hill. He looks down to see some Neoshadow Heartless fighting with some Dusks. Tiessa asks him, "Why did you stop, Iolio?"

Iolio turns to her with a petrified look, "We should turn back." Tiessa protests, "Why?! You were the one that wanted to come out here so much."

Iolio shrugs, "Yeah, I did, but I changed my mind." He turns from the spot and passes Tiessa as he heads for the exit. He whispers something to her, "I only did it, because Terror told me that the Organization was out here and he wanted to see what was going on."

Tiessa is confused. She yells, "What is the Organization and what are those things down there?! And, what is up with Whirlwind?!"

Iolio explains as he is steps over a large rock, "Tiessa, Whirlwind is not really who everyone thinks he is. He is actually connected to those Heartless somehow and that's why the guys in the black coats are here. They seek to..."

Tiessa runs to him. But, the dirt-covered cliff starts to collapse underneath them. Tiessa grabs onto Iolio and they both scream. Tiessa looks up to see a figure wearing a black coat overhead of her as they are falling. The figure murmers something into the girl's head, "Your world is made of hearts. We seek those hearts to complete Kingdom Hearts. So, we get be fulfilled."

Tiessa yells up at the man, "What?!" The cliff finally collapses onto the ground and all the Dusks and Neoshadows turn from fighting each other to her and Iolio. The man teleports infront of them and says to the Dusks, "GET THEM! Rip them free of their hearts!"


Chapter 6: Revelation

Tiessa gets up from the crash. She looks at the Dusks and the man. Tiessa yells as she summons her Wand Keyblade and runs to the figure, "Who are you?!"

The man jumps back and laughs, "You don't remember! I'm..." He takes off his hood and shows the girl a familiar face.

The girl trips over something and gasps with shock, "Tevin?!"

He looks at her smirking, "Yeah right, I've never heard that name ever in my life." The man summons up something that look likes a dagger with a circular edge and several red beads in the middle. He stares at her and twirls the circular blade. It stops and shoots a huge orange fireball at the girl.

Iolio jumps in front of Tiessa protecting her helpless body, "Whoever you are you aren't going to hurt my friend!"

The figure smirks and sends several Dusks onto the boy. Tiessa stands up and looks at her friend, "Iolio!" She looks at the hooded man. "Stop toying me and show your true self!"

The man takes off his hood again and smirks, "Alright since you asked so nicely. Here..." A boy about eleven-years-old with orange spiky hair similar to Axel's stands before her. His eyes are a murky greenish-blue and he has two blue and red studs in the shape of studs in his elf-like ears.

She runs towards him after she had knocked the Dusks off of Iolio. Tiessa slashes the oncoming Dusks away from her as she makes her closer to the boy. "Tell me your name!" The boy smirks, "That's none of your business, Sweet Thang!" He disappears right in front of the girl.

Tiessa sighs as she runs back to Iolio helping her friend up, "Who was that guy?"

On top of the chasm, the boy sees another hooded figure walk out of a Dark Corridor. He looks at the figure and smirks, "Saix, I'm glad to see you here. I toyed with them a little like you said. Pretty soon, we should be able to break through the barrier into that useless castle."

The older man turns from the boy and looks down at Iolio and Tiessa fighting off the remainer of Dusks and Heartless. He whispers to himself, "Kingdom Hearts restore my heart."
 
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Organization_42

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So is this new guy related to Axel in any way? Because they're awfully similar, down to the hair and the powers and everything. And I'm guessing this is all just a distraction so that they can break through the castle?

Saix is here too; that's interesting. Will the rest of Organization XIII show up? When does this all take place?
 

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Chapter 7: Distraction

Saix looks down at Iolio and sees his Triton Keyblade. He whispers in a low voice, "It's been ten years now since Axel betrayed us and the original Keyblade Wielder disappeared." He turns to the young boy and heads back to the Dark Corridor.

The boy is still looking at Tiessa and Iolio oddly. Saix yells at the boy, "Come, we must go now. Master Xemnas is awaiting our return."

The boy looks at Saix and pouts (like most kids his age do), "Aw, I don't want to go, I want to continue on with those punks! Please, Saix!"

Saix gives the boy a glare and walks into the portal. The boy sighs and heads into the portal. It disappears.

Meanwhile, Chester, Christian, and Christopher finally find Iolio and Tiessa battling the Dusks and Neoshadows. Chester puts the Harmonica to his lips and sends a sonic blast at the Neoshadows. Christopher and Christian slash the Dusks with their weapons. When the battle is over, they turn to Iolio and Tiessa. Christopher laughs, "You guys are busted now!"
 

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Chapter 8: Return

Christian sees the portal disappear he stands there silent and murmers to himself, "Saix?"

Christopher sees his distracted box and taps on his shoulder, "Hey boss, what's up? Remember we have to take care of those runts?"

Christian turns to him and knocks him the head and yells, "I know that stupid!" He turns to Tiessa and Iolio.

"Chester and Christopher, escort our friends back to the castle, will ya?!" Chester smiles, while Christopher sighs. Chester grabs Iolio's hand and forcibly moves him back to the castle, leaving Tiessa and Christopher alone.

Christopher murmers to himself, "Ah, man, I always get stuck with the icky stuff. Why?! I better just get this over with." He turns to Tiessa and grabs her arms.

The girl gives him a glare and kicks her left foot into his shin. "I am not going anywhere!" She summons up her Keyblade ready to defend herself.

Christopher sighs, "Please, don't make this difficult, princess!" He summons up his daggers. "All I am asking is that you return to Castle Pathos with me."

The girl yells, "I am not going back there. I know what you guys are up too and especially what Whirlwind is."
 

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Chapter 9: Lexi

Saix and the strange red-head kid had returned to the Castle That Never Was. Xigbar walks over and kneels down to the eleven-year-old and gives him a noogy. He says, "Hey there, squirt."

The boy pulls up his hood and stares at him yelling, "Don't call me Squirt! The name's Lexi, get that through your thick head, old timer!"

Xigbar laughs, "I like this kid. He's funny not a hothead like Flamsicles or a grouch like Kiddo or Poppet."

Saix gives Xigbar a glare. He walks over to the large windows of the Grey Area and stares at the heart-shaped moon, sighing to himself, "Kingdom Hearts, when will you restore my heart?"

Lexi folds his arms and shakes his head sighing, "We'll never be Somebodies, Saix, we are just not meant to be."

Saix pulls up his hood and walks away nudging the boy's shoulder as he walks away to the Round Room. He teleports up to his large white seat just a few chairs away from Xemnas. Saix asks in a low voice, "Superior, when will we find another Keyblade Wielder?"

Xemnas looks over at the blue-haired demon smirking, "As soon as we either find Axel shows up with Roxas at hand or one of those lousy wanabees falls to the Heartless."

Saix nods and says before teleporting out, "Superior, I'll send Lexi and Anexia to Castle Pathos tomorrow."
 
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Kiwi +

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oh! you were right your pretty good at writing these! :D
 

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From what I'm reading so far, it's not bad; continue.
 

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Chapter 10: Mission

The next morning, Saix walks in front of one of the windows of the Grey Area. All of the Organization Members gather into a line to recieve their daily missions. Lexi is in the back. A tall girl with silver eyes and brownish-black hair around the age of sixteen or seventeen pushes the young red-head out of the way. He looks up at the girl yelling, "What did you do that for?!"

The girl turns to the young boy snickering, "Yeah, and what are you going to do about it, squirt?!"

Lexi's face begins to turn red. He pulls up his long black sleeves of his coat and heads out his orange and silver circular daggers at the girl's face. She pats the boy's head laughing, "What are those toys of yours going to do, squirt?!"

Lexi yells louder, "Shut up, and get behind me! You skipped me! And, I am tired of being pushed around by everyone."

The girl looks at the boy, "Yeah right, you don't have a heart, so why would you care about anything!"

Lexi's face turns a blood-red, "Shut up, you old hag!" He tries to shoot his weapon at the girl, but Xaldin interferes. The large man takes the daggers away from Lexi shaking his head disappointedly, "That is no way to treat a superior member, Lexi. You do know that I am going to have to report you to the Superior, right?"

Lexi shakes his head. "But, she..."

Xaldin shakes his head, "That is no excuse." He grabs the boy's hand and starts to head off to the Round Room. Saix steps in front of Xaldin as he is almost out of the room. "Move out of the way, Saix," cries Xaldin.

Saix replies to Number III with his usual unemotional tone, "Xaldin, I have assigned this boy and the girl a mission. Let that serve as his punishment. Maybe, he could learn something from this. And, learn to not step out of line, anymore."

Xaldin snickers, "You're right." He sees the girl standing there with a blank stare. Xaldin flogs the boy into the girl saying in a serious tone, "Anexia, he's your problem, today. Make sure he doesn't step out of line, anymore or it's him turning into a Dusk."

Anexia nods, "Yeah, I know." Xaldin walks off and Saix returns back to handing out the missions. Anexia looks down at the little boy saying with a threatening tone, "You know, I may be your baby-sitter today. But, I advise you to stay out of my way, if you know what's good for ya."

Lexi just gives her a shrill look. He looks away and sighs, "Fine, let's just get this mission out of the way."
 

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Chapter 11: Castle Pathos

Anexia walks in front of Lexi and reaches out her left arm and summons up a Dark Corridor. She looks down at Lexi snickering, "I bet I could beat you through the other side, squirt!" Anexia begins to run through the portal.

Lexi dashes passed her and goes through the portal. Anexia cries out, "No fair, you cheated!" But, Lexi just ignores her.

The two of them land a few feet away from Castle Pathos' front door. Anexia looks at the giant Oak doors. "I guess we are going to find a way through those doors."

Lexi wonders off. He sees a brick that seems out-of-place from the other bricks. Lexi pushes the brick in and a secret door opens up. He yells to himself, "I KNEW IT!"

Anexia walks pass the boy and into the secret door asking, "What did you know?" Lexi looks at her wierdly. "None of your business, hag!"

She snears at the boy and lifts her hand to try to smack him. He dodges her arm and runs up the door's staircase. Anexia sighs to herself, "That boy is a real nuisance...."

Lexi stands up in one of the staircase balconies. He sees Chester, Christian, and Christopher walking around with Tiessa and Iolio chained up. Anexia walks up behind Lexi. Her voice says in a joking tone, "Why did you have to leave me behind?"

Lexi turns to her in surprise. "When did you get here," asks him. Anexia folds her arms and exclaims, "I followed your trail of footprints. You know those stairs have dirt on them?" Lexi shrugs, but hears one of the guards speaking.

Christian stares at Tiessa and Iolio, while holding his hand to his small forehead, "What am I going to do with you, two? You could have left those Nobodies here and they would just meddle in our plans to restore our loved-ones' hearts." Tiessa and Iolio lower their heads, "We're sorry, Christian."

Christian walks pass them saying in a chastising voice, "You better hope it doesn't happen again or...!" Christopher and Chester follow their boss behind.

Lexi looks up to Anexia asking, "What do you think they mean?" Anexia shrugs exclaiming, "Who cares, we came here for what we wanted to get answers to so let's RTC."

Lexi looks up at her shocked, "But, we just got here and we still have more to investigate." Anexia sighs, "Whatever, I'm going to RTC. You can stay here if you want. I don't really care."

Lexi stomps his feet and yells at her, "I'm not going to be turned into a Dusk for your laziness. We are both staying here. Got it memorized?!"

Anexia stares at the boy shocked. "Whatever you say, Axel-wanabee, but I am not going to protect you if anything happens. Just you remember that!"

Lexi stammers, "I don't really care! I'm not going to protect you, either, you lazy hag!"
 
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