Perspective

[Epif]

I'm taking down all of my poems from the Internet, which includes KHI forums. Please send me a private message if you have any comments or questions about this decision.

 

[King Sora X]

Well you sure did a very intruging concept, I'll give you that much. It sort of reminds me of an enigma/riddle, in a sense. It's not direct, but like a bunch of messages scattered, and the readeR(me atm) will have to read it carefully. So yeah, i like this

 

[impart]

Its' good, but for me I think the flow is interrupted by the
"Time and time again, "
line
I feel like the placement is a little awkward, but that's just my opinion.

I like it, it puts a nice picture of solitude, and isolation in my head

 

[Epif]

Well you sure did a very intruging concept, I'll give you that much. It sort of reminds me of an enigma/riddle, in a sense. It's not direct, but like a bunch of messages scattered, and the readeR(me atm) will have to read it carefully. So yeah, i like this

Thank you for the compliments (I find them as compliments anyways). I was wondering how people would see this poem without the picture that inspired this from me .

Its' good, but for me I think the flow is interrupted by the
"Time and time again, "
line
I feel like the placement is a little awkward, but that's just my opinion.

I like it, it puts a nice picture of solitude, and isolation in my head

Ah, well, not everyone reads things the same (which is why I have so many "--"'s in there, actually), but I'm glad you liked it .

 

[LongLiveLife]

So I was scouring KHI's poetry section for something to analyze, and I chanced upon this.

I really like the abstract nature to this poem, the sense of freedom it encapsulates, the stanza-ing (again). This poem, unlike the previous one I commented on, is a lot lighter -- something hard to find in most poems -- and I get a sense of power from the wind. Incidentally, air happens to be my favorite element, and that you captured the very essence of its malleability, its independence, in your writing hits me in all the right places.

I actually think that the "Time and time again" adds to the poem, rather than detracts from it; it links in with the reference to the "immortal" later on.

Though my only qualm is with this line:

Passed me

I believe you mean "Past me". "Passed" is the past tense of the verb "pass". I walked past you when I passed you in the queue. The winds rushed past you when they passed through you.

Otherwise, I really like this poem. Good job!

 

[Epif]

So I was scouring KHI's poetry section for something to analyze, and I chanced upon this.

Yay! I think I posted this before you joined, didn't I?

I really like the abstract nature to this poem, the sense of freedom it encapsulates, the stanza-ing (again). This poem, unlike the previous one I commented on, is a lot lighter -- something hard to find in most poems -- and I get a sense of power from the wind.

Thank you. It was one of the poems that were inspired by something, instead of out of my emotions directly.

I actually think that the "Time and time again" adds to the poem, rather than detracts from it; it links in with the reference to the "immortal" later on.

Like I said, different people will read it differently.

Though my only qualm is with this line:

I believe you mean "Past me". "Passed" is the past tense of the verb "pass". I walked past you when I passed you in the queue. The winds rushed past you when they passed through you.

Um... this I highly doubt. There's "to pass", which means something like, "To pass in the hallway." then there's "past", which means something like, "Start looking to the past for the answer." The past tense of "to pass" would be "passed", so I don't think it's wrong. :/ But you said that was your one qualm, so I don't think it'll be a big deal lest others mention it.

Otherwise, I really like this poem. Good job!

Yay! Thank you for your comment! I appreciate it muchly.