• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Fanfiction ► Path to Greatness: The Story of Team Four



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

Lunarmaster54

Her Trouble-making Paladin
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
2,288
Awards
2
Age
31
Location
Kingdom of the sun
By Lunarmaster54 and Abhorsen

A Naruto Continuation fic


Chapter One

Thirty years ago the fourth great ninja war raged between the allied shinobi forces and an organization known as the Akatsuki. The group was defeated after a long, bloody struggle but not without many casualties. Despite the high death toll and the disappearance of the tailed beasts (the exception being the eight tailed giant ox and the nine tailed fox) life went on and the villages mourned their losses and rebuilt their individual armies, determined not to seem ‘weak’. Five years after the conflict Naruto took his place as the sixth hokage. Sasuke began to re-populate his clan but never bothered to marry, instead becoming captain of the konoha Anbu.

Forty years later a new day shines down on the newest set of graduating academy students.

Brriing

Brrriiiinng

Brrriiin...


A twelve year old yawned as he stopped his clock, rubbing his sleepy green eyes as he shuffled out of bed, scratching himself and stumbling out of his room towards his shower. Typical routine for one Satoshi Kurokami. Halfway through his morning shower the brown haired boy’s eyes widened and not from the shampoo entering his eyes

“I’M LATE!!!!!!!”

He burst out of the shower, covered in suds, and dashed towards his room, slipping and sliding through the door and staring at his clock in horror.

Today was the day when the genin teams were decided. Yet he was ten minutes late. Swearing and hurriedly drying off, getting dressed (in his black shirt and white shorts combo) and tying his headband to his forehead the preteen raced from the room and out of his house. He had to get to the academy!

-----

Hana had set her alarm for eight a.m., she planned to arrive early for the last day of class. She was for one thrilled to finally be moving on in her career as a ninja. She also really wanted to know what her assigned team was going to be and who her sensei was. She hoped it was someone nice, but firm.

The girl swung her feet off the bed and onto the floor. She needed to shower and eat something. She could hear people already moving around outside her window. She smiled, this day would be great! she thought to herself. She hurried off to take her shower washing thoroughly and rinsing hurridly. She decided to pack her battle gear incase her new sensei wanted to go on a mission immediately. After her shower and packing she grabbed a banana and some peach-papaya juice, her favorite. Before long she was out the door and running down the street passing houses and stores on her way to the academy.

Once at the academy she took her usual seat at the mid front of the class. She was directly under the skylight. She had the best lighting on her papers and she felt a bit free sitting under the beautiful sun. It may have been the one and only thing that got her through the long classes and boring lectures. She didnt slack off, that wasnt it. She just loved looking at the world around her and imagining herself in it. It was sappy she knew, but it was who she was. Yamato sensei walked in and greeted her as he sat his stuff down and began writing on the board. He was a good teacher and he reveled in his adventures and missions with their Hokage Naruto Uzumaki. Yamato had once explained that Naruto and Granpa Bee had teamed up to help Naruto control and tame his Bijuu. Her thoughts were interrupted when a shadow covered the skylight. She narrowed her eyes and recognized the figure, the only student who wasn’t in attendance, probably trying to sneak in, unnoticed.

“What a boob” she sighed

----

Amaya Uchiha was bored. They had told every graduate to be at the academy at ten o clock sharp and yet it was ten minutes past and so far all Yamato sensei had been doing was lecturing them about what being a genin meant while writing things on the black board. They were not getting the team assignments they were so desperate for and if this went on for much longer the girl was going to fall asleep. Well, she wanted to fall asleep. But Uchihas didn’t sleep in class. They were proper and dignified and on top of everything. Grandpa Sasuke had done his best to drill that into her head so hard that she was prime and proper and stiff even during her sleep. Well. Not really. But she sure felt like that might be the case.

"From this day forward you are no longer mere students of ninjutsu, but full fledged shinobi." Yamato was saying "But among the ranks of the Shinobi you are mere novices, the lowest of the low. Your greatest challenges all lie ahead."

Amaya snorted. She was an Uchiha. They may not have had the prestige that they had once had back during the golden days (as grandpa had said) but she would never EVER be ‘the lowest of the low’. What an insult! Even if she was no more than a civilian Amaya would have more importance in her right pinkie than half of these no named genin. Most of which were going to fail and be sent back to the academy anyway. A sound coming from the roof drew her attention, speaking of no named genin who were going to fail and be sent back to academy...

....Satoshi peeped down at the classroom, his goal was to slip in completely unnoticed. After all, he was a ninja and if he couldn’t sneak into a classroom then he was a failure. Plain and simple. Silently he slid open the window and peered down again, Yamato was writing something on the board. Perfect! Pulling out some wire and tying it to the window sill Satoshi hung upside down and eased himself down the hole and towards his seat. The window closed as he slid down, slient. Almost like a spider on a web. The boy grinned in triumph as he neared his destination, the teacher none the wiser! The grin slipped off of his face when the teacher spun around and hurled a kunai at the wire, slicing it in half and causing the busted Satoshi to fall onto the ground hard, amidst the laughter of the other students.

“He’s ex Anbu dumbass” a girl, Amaya from the sounds of it, commented “how did you expect to sneak by him?”

Satoshi coughed and rubbed his head in embarrassment as Yamato sensei glared at him

“Glad to see your finally here Satoshi” he said icily as the class quieted down “I was just about to assign you all to three man squads”

Satoshi nodded as he got into his seat and noticed that Hana was doing the same. She’d kicked her chair out of the way and moved just so he could fall and hit the floor! Or maybe it was because he was going to fall on top of her...no! No she just wanted to see him fall onto the floor. That’s it.

Yamato began naming who was on what team and Satoshi leaned forward, excited. Three squads went by until finally...

“Squad Four. Satoshi Kurokami. Amaya Uchiha. and Hana Astral” Yamato announced. Satoshi smiled. He could live with this...

...Amaya couldn’t live with this. There must be some sort of mistake. There was no way she was on the same team as that..that...low average boob! He wasn’t dead last or anything like that but Satoshi was painfully plain. Nothing special. At least that Hana girl got reasonably high grades. Not as high as her of course. Amaya had gotten the best grades out of the academy (grandpa would have nothing less of his favorite grand daughter. Not that he’d admit that part) and she deserved to be put with the best! Not spiderboy over there. Oh well. Amaya propped her head up with her hand and wondered. Who would their sensei be?

---------

“This is great! I can finally follow in sensei’s footsteps. What first...? hmm... maybe... no no.. what will be their test to prove their worth? Pushups? No, far too easy! Sensei would have never started with such an easy task. I know! I will decide when the time comes!” said a man with fire in his eyes as he stepped into the room. The sensei of team one. His students to be looked a tad nervous as they looked into his eyes, Hana thought as she watched the four leave the room. She thought she recognized him, his name was on the tip of her tongue, but for whatever reason it just wouldn’t come to her. She had been too busy thinking about her two new squad members when this man’s name was called. She was still thinking as a man with a big grey coat stepped into the room. The sensei of team two. Shino Aburame. Hana smiled, recognizing this one on sight.

“....I will do my best to not fail whoever I am assigned” he stated team two gathered in front of him and where lead out.

“Whoa, tough crowd” Hana smiled as Konohamaru stepped into the room. He always was one of her favorite adults. He was fun to be around, sarcastic. She knew he would be a good sensei but he wasn‘t serious enough for her taste.

“These guys remind me of myself as a kid” he was saying to Yamato sensei “That girl needs to put some more clothes on.. this isnt kunoichi’s gone wild” he eyed the room again “Look at that guy.. whats with the glasses. He is inside.. he doesn’t need those. Please oh please dont make him be my student! you better not screw with me. I am a village treasure!” he glared, only half jokingly, at Yamato who smirked

“Squad three? Come over to your new sensei” he said. Konohamaru’s eyes widened as not only ‘that kid with the unnecessary glasses’ walked over but also the girl who ‘needed to put more clothes on’ and to top it all off a larger boy (clearly from the Akimichi clan) rounded out the squad. Konohamaru’s right eye twitched as he surveyed his new students.

“Teach them well, ‘village treasure’” Yamato grinned. Shaking his head and grumbling Konohamaru lead his students out of the room. Hana chuckled.

-----

“I never thought I would be a sensei, not that I cant I just never saw it coming. All those years that I trained, the beatings I endured. The war.. it was so much. I hope these children never have to endure that, see those things.. It wasn’t fair..” thought a woman with the long bluish-purple hair as she entered the classroom. Hinata Hyuga smiled at Yamato as he called over team four. She eyed them all as they looked up at her, the four were silently sizing each other up.

Amaya Uchiha, who’d have thought she’d have Sasuke’s grandaughter on her squad? Hinata wasn’t exactly fond of Naruto’s best friend and from what she knew of Amaya the girl was just as arrogant as Sasuke had been at that age. But she was vocal about said arrogance. Sasuke was silent and stayed away from other people, preferring to do things on his own and looked down upon people. Even now, decades later, he was still the same way. Although much better about it. Amaya wasn’t silent at all. She was arrogant and she let you know it. Hinata knew she’d be quite a handful..

Her gaze traveled over to Satoshi Kurokami. He reminded her of Naruto but his grades were better than Naruto’s had been. He was easy going and a little forgetful. There wasn’t anything that particularly stood out about him other than the fact that he dreamed of becoming a kenjutzu specialist, to that end he carried around a bokken with him at all times (Hinata heard he actually tried sleeping with it a few times) and the only reason it wasn’t on his now was because it seemed he had just woken up not ten minutes ago...

Hinata looked over at the final member of her new squad. Hana Astral. Her grades were fantastic but it seemed like she wasn’t sure what sort of ninja that she wanted to become. Which was fine, it was a rare that a student knew exactly what kind of path they wanted to take fresh out of the academy. Her file stated that she had potential, that whoever her sensei was going to be should keep an close eye on her to see just how she turned out.

“So” she said as they walked out of the classroom “How about some lunch?”

End of chapter one.
 
Last edited:

KingdomKey

Queen
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,261
Awards
26
Age
32
The writing on this is marvelous, love each view point and the characters are well distinguished in personality *u* squad 4 is probably my favorite group out of them all. The three of them, remind me of Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke on team 7. Only much more unqiue and different. Hinata being their squad leader is like the greatest thing ever. I look forward to the next chapter and can already tell, just how outstanding this story will turn out to be in future chapters.
 

Lunarmaster54

Her Trouble-making Paladin
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
2,288
Awards
2
Age
31
Location
Kingdom of the sun
and here is chapter two:


Chapter Two

“I’m not sure if any of you have ever been here before, it only opened a few weeks ago” Hinata said as she lead her squad through the streets “Its called Sushi ya Sarada”

“I’ve heard of that place” nodded Hana “It has an indoor courtyard right?”

“Yeah” Hinata confirmed “With this big water fountain you can sit at. We’ll walk inside and you can order anything you like. My treat”

“Your treat?” Satoshi perked up “Neat! I have to warn you Hinata sensei i’m a big eater!”

“Wouldn’t it be polite to not blow all of sensei’s money on our very first lunch together?” Amaya deadpanned “seems a bit rude to me...”

Satoshi looked scandalized at the idea of not being able to eat as much as he wanted for free, almost like a small child who was handed a bowl of free ice cream but it was only half full “But...she said!”

Amaya rolled her eyes “Do what you want, I forgot some people are more undignified than others”

Satoshi’s eyes widened “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Your not an Uchiha therefore its no surprise you have the manners of a caveman” clarified Amaya “shall I draw you a picture?”

Satoshi was about to yell when Hinata spoke up “Its our first lunch together, there’s no reason to argue” she said “and Amaya you can’t look down on other people just because they aren’t from the Uchiha clan”

“I don’t look down on people!” Amaya protested “I just look at them and assume that they aren’t as special, talented, well dressed, dignified or as important as me or any of my other clansman are because they don’t belong to said clan”

“That might be the textbook definition of ‘looking down on someone’” Satoshi muttered

Hinata shook her head “If you must be like that then please keep those negative thoughts to yourself. We’re a team now. Squad four. We’re going to be relying on each other from this day forward”

Amaya looked disbelieving but nodded “Yes sensei”

The rest of the walk was uneventful as the newly formed squad approached a octagon shaped building. Hana’s eyes widened, the outside alone was enormous! The building looked as if it stood nearly three stories tall. The back of the building was made completely of stone with water trickling from the roof down the side to keep it cool. The front was comprised of all glass, and by the looks of it, Chakra infused glass. probably to keep the heat out. The glass was divided into rectangular sheets about thirteen feet by fifteen feet. It was truly a sight to behold.

“What a great place!” Hana said enthusiastically. Hinata smiled and Satoshi looked just as awed. Even Amaya looked impressed as they walked inside. As they walked through the glass doors her mood got even better. The inside of the restaurant was just as beautiful as the outside. The first thing that caught her eye was the giant water fountain in the center. The water bellowed out as it sprayed from the center of the fountain. Hana’s eyes gleamed as she nearly tripped into Sato. The boy was staring at the different items on the menu intently. Hana pushed past him (“Move you dolt!”) and walked over to the fountain. Inside the water were carp and lots of them. Hana swooned, she loved carp. They were so cute. Looking around at the rest of the restaurant if it could even be confined to such a simple title. The floors were made of stone tile and around the fountain was a short stone wall, short enough to sit on. Past that was the seating black metal tables and chairs stood, the tops of the tables made of marble laid inside the tables. Last but certainly not least the food line. Almost Hibachi style. All Hana needed to do was walk up to the wonderful people that ran this fine establishment and order what she wanted and they made it there before her very eyes. No shady ducking behind a corner and boom a paper bag filled with food that who knows is how old. No! All made at the moment of order. Hana purchased her food, an Anago Roll and a Unagi Roll with what else but Papaya Peach juice. Life was good.

---

Life sucked. Satoshi sighed as he stared the menu down again, salad...sushi...salad...sushi... where was the steaks and such?? The boy slumped as he stood in line waiting. Hana was glowing as she looked around and got her food and watched the workers make it. He supposed she liked this sort of thing. Vegetables and raw fish and..and..that’s it! It was was like a vegan’s paradise!

“Maybe its an acquired taste” he said dejectedly, ordering a regular salad and juice before walking over to where Hana and Hinata were sitting. Plates full of salad and sushi. Satoshi’s eye twitched.

“You don’t like the food?” Hinata asked, noticing his less than pleased look at the food. He shrugged, sitting down and pouring ranch all over the greens on his plate

“I’m a meat lover” he said “or ramen”

“They have vegetable ramen up there” Hana commented blithely. Satoshi chewed on a carrot

“That makes everything sooo much better” he replied “I feel like a damn rabbit!”

--

Amaya was exploring the garden upstairs, There were steps that led from the courtyard to the top floor and you could see the garden that the workers got their vegetables from. Everything was represented, Amaya noticed, lettuce, brocoli, tomatoes, cabbage, carrots, radishes. Everything! Unlike Satoshi, Amaya didn’t have any issue with eating sushi or salads. In fact she was fond of them every now and again despite being a ramen fan. But Amaya had eaten already and therefore wasn’t very hungry, settling for a soda that she sipped while walking around the top floor. Noticing that her squad had finished ordering their food the young Uchiha made her way down to them, taking a seat as Satoshi complained, Hana ate happily and Hinata watched all of them with a small smile.

“Not hungry Amaya?” she asked. The girl shook her head

“Food not good enough for your Uchiha mouth?” Satoshi asked. Amaya rolled her eyes “I imagine the food is perfectly adequate. Especially if someone like you doesn’t like it”

Satoshi huffed and continued picking at his food.

“So how about we get to know each other a little better?” Hinata said “Tell each other our likes, dislikes and dreams and such”

The squad made noises of agreement and Satoshi pushed his plate away, not even bothering to keep pretending to pick at it any longer.

“I’m Satoshi Kurokami!” he said brightly “I like hanging out with my friends and swords and meat! Any kind will do, provided its cooked” he nodded, grinning happily as he imagined his favorite, meaty dishes “I dislike vegetables, sushi, this restaurant and stuck up people who look down on other people just because they aren’t part of a big clan” he raised his eyebrows in Amaya’s direction “and my dream? I’m going to become a master of kenjutzu!!”

“Interesting” nodded Hinata “Hana?”

Hana swallowed the bite she was chewing and spoke up: “I’m Hana Astral” she said “My likes are peach papaya juice, sushi, and friends to help me while I find my ninja way. Dislikes..well lazy ‘ninja’ that want the glory with no work for one. I hate Lima beans, and cleaning up other peoples messes is a pet peeve too” she glared at the idea and shook her head “My dream is to become a top ninja... maybe even hokage I don’t know just yet”

“That’s a nice goal” Hinata said “Amaya? Your up”

Amaya yawned “I’m Amaya Uchiha” she said

“Really? Your an Uchiha? I’d have never guessed” Satoshi quipped. Hinata silenced him with a stern look. Amaya continued

“I like ramen, training and hanging out with my grandpa” she said thoughtfully “I dislike...weaklings and Satoshi”

“Hey!”

“My dream...well...I don’t have a particular dream” she shrugged “As an Uchiha everything will work out in the end so I haven’t really thought about the future too much. Just doing whats best for my clan”
“Hm” Hinata nodded and finished up her food “I guess i’m next. My name is Hinata Hyuga. I like pressing flowers, cinnamon rolls, the feeling of victory and being with close friends.I dislike revenge, senseless violence and hatred, and..war” she shook her head, staring off into the distance for a moment before snapping out of it “My dream is to be the best kunoichi I can be. To do all I can to stop war”

The kids exchanged a glance as their sensei became more business like and serious

“Tomorrow we being our first mission as squad four” she said briskly “a training exercise”

“Sweet!” Satoshi said happily “Our first lesson!”

“Meet me at the training grounds at Eleven tomorrow morning” Hinata said “Bring all of your ninja gear. You’ll need it”

The squad nodded in unison “Got it sensei!”

----

At five o clock sharp everyday Konoha’s sixth hokage could be found at one place. It wasn’t the training grounds and it wasn’t his office working on his steadily growing stack of paperwork. Nope. Konoha’s finest was sitting in his usual spot in none other than Ichirakus.

“Snuck out again Naruto?” smiled the waitress, Ayame

“I didn’t sneak out” the hokage denied “I just slipped out when Sakura wasn’t looking”

“Shadow clone?”

“Shadow clone” the blonde confirmed with a grin “You’d think I could just use them to finish my paperwork and have it done in a day but everytime I try they get bored and end up playing paddleball and tic tack toe and hang man”

“Shame” chuckled Ayame, turning around and getting back to work while Naruto devoured his bowl.

“You never change do you Naruto?” a new voice commented, settling down on the stool next to him. Naruto looked over and smiled at Hinata

“How’d you know I was here?”

“Its five o clock” she said by way of explanation. How or why Sakura hasn’t checked here yet was beyond her.

“How’s your new squad?” Naruto asked curiously “You met them today didn’t you?”

“Yeah I did” Hinata thought back to the trio “I don’t know how they fight but they seem likeable enough. Satoshi reminds me of you, he reacted just like you did when we went to Sushi ya Sarada

Naruto nearly chocked on his ramen “You took them THERE?!?” he shuddered. It was a very well put together building but there was only one type of ramen there!

“Hana really liked it” Hinata defended her choice of eating establishments “and Amaya...well she enjoyed her soda”

“Are you testing them tomorrow?” the kage asked. Hinata nodded an affirmative “Eleven sharp” she confirmed

“I might come and watch” Naruto slurped thoughtfully “Gotta see what our newest generation of genin can do after all”

“and your paperwork?” Hinata asked with a hint of a smile. Naruto waved a uncaring hand

“I’ll get around to it” he promised “Its not anything important...I don’t think”

Hinata decided to change the subject “So how was your day?”

“The usual” shrugged the blonde “Although a new village cropped up where Sound used to be” he grew serious, blue eyes darkening.

“Really?” Hinata asked, surprised “How do you know?”

“Spy network delivered a report” Naruto said as he pulled bowl number seven towards him “A large amount of shinobi are gathering there. I have a few spies planted already but they haven’t gotten much info just yet”

“Are they friend or foe?” Hinata asked “What is this village called?”

Naruto pushed a stack of bowls back across the table “I don’t know what their allegiance is but I know what they’re called.." he put down his chopsticks and Hinata leaned forward

“The village hidden by gravity”
 

Story Keeper

Anxious Writer
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
6,552
Awards
16
Location
Sending out my soul to worlds more beautiful
Hmm... Okay, so far it's interesting, kind of liking Hana and Amaya *even though so far I think Amaya's a brat*, can't wait to see what you two boys have planned for next time. But one question? Where's Sasuke? I thought surely he would've shown up in person by now, or is that to be saved for later? Anyway, again, I'm interested in what you two boys are planning but don't push yourselves either, don't need to burn out. Nice job with keeping Naruto in character!
 

KingdomKey

Queen
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,261
Awards
26
Age
32
Where to even start! I wish this place "Sushi ya Sarada” was real because it sounds like a really cool place to be in. I love the fact, that we finally got to see Naruto this soon! You two were spot on, with keeping him in character and it was amusing to hear, how his shadow clones are messing around, not doing their paper work. I'm curious about this new village 'hidden in gravitiy' and I look forward to seeing what kind of test Hinata puts squad 4 through. Lastly, Hinata mentioning the war, she sounds almost like it hasn't ended after all this time or is she foreshadowing another war to break out, in fear? Without further ado, I loved this new chapter and I look forward to the next one.
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,239
Awards
3
Age
27
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
I'm really enjoying this so far! The writing style is good, although there are grammatical errors here and there, and the character introductions worked well to establish their personalities and, presumably, their overall roles. I love that Hinata is our main group's leader, and Hana seems like a good character. At first I was afraid the trio would be a mirror of SasaNaruSaku, but there are enough differences to establish them as their own group. Excellent work, and I can't wait to read chapter 3~
 

Lanydx reborn

The Superior Lanydx
Joined
Jun 14, 2009
Messages
2,808
Awards
4
Location
Wandering.
Well it's a treat to see a Naruto fanfiic on this site. I like the new characters...well most of the new characters. (Swearing that the emo brat spawned.) Naruto finding out about the new village could friend or foe. Anyway you got my readingness so keep at it you!
 

Abhorsen

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
699
Age
36
Location
somewhere
Thanks for all the feedback!! The more the merrier good and bad!

I figured it would probably interest the readers on which of the two of us writes for which characters, and all that business. So...

Lunar: Amaya, and Sato. Specializes in characterization, piecing the story together (DIFFICULT), and Putting everyones point of views in alignment so that they seem legit.

Abs: Hana and any deep description of surrounding areas. For example "Sushi ya Sarada" which translates to Sushi and Salads was built from the ground up by myself. The new Village and all the story about it was developed by me as well.

Shared: All Canon characters. The openings for the Sensei's were written by myself and then pieced in by Lunar. Lunar puts all of it together and then I proof-read it all behind him. All in all it usually takes two hours for everything...

Any questions please ask. I would love to answer them, feedback lets Lunar and myself know what is good and what to fix.


Thanks!!
 

Lunarmaster54

Her Trouble-making Paladin
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
2,288
Awards
2
Age
31
Location
Kingdom of the sun
Chapter Three:

Satoshi was late.

Maybe it was because he hit snooze on his alarm one too many times or maybe it was because he spent too long in the shower. It might be that extra helping of breakfast he decided to have or the cause may be his misplaced shinobi sandles. Whatever the case may be Satoshi was the last one to arrive at the training grounds, or training area seventeen as the sign said.

“Hello Satoshi” Hinata said as the boy arrived, panting and gasping for breath. Amaya and Hana looked at him in disapproval

“I’m sorry i’m late Hinata sensei” Satoshi apologized “The wind was against me. You see it was blowing abnormally hard as I left my house...”

“Make sure that this doesn’t become a habit Satoshi” Hinata said “Punctuality is important for what a shinobi does, and being too tardy may have very..unpleasant consequences during a mission"

Hana nodded, attentive. Amaya looked bored and Satoshi gulped.

Hinata reached into the knapsack that she had with her and pulled out three brown folders, handing them to each of her students. Satoshi looked in his with interest and removed a packet of papers inside.

"I’ve written out a list of activities I want you to complete on your own, outside of our squad gatherings. A training regimen if you will. They should become part of your daily routine, a habit no different from brushing your teeth. Speed and endurance-building exercises, as well as activities that will build up your chakra control” Hinata looked around at the group as she explained. Amaya huffed, disregarding the packet. Half of these things were what grandpa had been having her do for years. She liked her morning routine the way it was. She didn’t need to add a bunch of extra things to make her stronger. She’d keep on doing exactly what she was doing and she’d still be stronger than any other genin. What her normal training didn’t cover her uchiha blood would make up for in spades!

“What do we do during squad gatherings?” Satoshi asked curiously

"We’ll be working on things that will strengthen our teamwork and benefit us all” Hinata said smiling “I trust that all of you will take those training packets very seriously. Individual power and ability is important yet a team must also learn how to fight harmoniously. Sparring tests your skills against each other as well as seeing what areas you need to improve on. Additionally you come to understand each others' fighting styles as well”

Team four all nodded, digesting her words.

“So. On the subject of teamwork your task is simple. As the three of you know i’m a part of the hyuga clan. Meaning I have access to a kekkei genkai known as byakugan. When activated I can see three hundred and sixty degrees around myself and I can see chakra flow. What the three of you must do is..land a solid hit on me”

The genin stared. Land a single hit?

“That’s all we need to do? Land a direct hit on you?” Satoshi chuckled “What a cake walk!”

Amaya smirked nodding in agreement while Hana wasn’t as easily convinced. Life was never that easy.

“You have one hour” Hinata said “Begin”

The genin reached into their weapons pouches and hurled three small circular black objects at the ground, covering themselves in a plume of black smoke. When it cleared they had vanished.

Hinata smiled.

---

As Hana dissappeared into the trees the smoke bombs went off. ‘Kind-of funny how we all used a smoke bomb at the same time.’ she thought as she behind behind a large branch. They needed a way to get to her..the question was how they were going to accomplish it. Hana looked over in the direction Amaya and Satoshi disappeared to. In a few seconds Amaya poked her head out and nodded at Hana. Hana knew what that meant. She was to lead. ‘Surprising for an Uchiha, especially Amaya to allow anyone to lead.’ thought Hana as she nodded back. Focusing her chakra she quietly made the appropriate hand signs for a jutsu she knew would be of assistance. “Wind Style: Spiraling Wind Ball” Hana launched the jutsu three times sending the wind balls in from all sides closing in on Hinata in a triangular fashion. Their sensei looked around briefly at the incoming attacks and leapt up into the air, dodging them, and as a result the attacks collided. The attacks dispelled, a cyclone of wind rising upwards in the aftermath that threw the air-born Hinata off balance.

That’s when Hana saw Satoshi.

He had climbed a tree and leapt over towards her as she spun downwards, his black bokken in hand. He swung it at her in a downward arc and Hana thought she saw it flash blue. But instead of hitting their teacher, Hinata spun around and blocked it with the back of her sandle and pushed off, flipping as she neared the ground and landed on her feet while Satoshi hit the ground and stumbled, off balance himself. She took a step towards him when she felt a presence behind her, spinning around to block Amaya’s fist as the girl tried to attack from behind. Amaya tried a few more punches and kicks but Hinata blocked them all and buried a open palm into her stomach, knocking her off of her feet and sending her rolling across the ground. She threw another smoke bomb to disguise her destination and was gone. Hinata looked over to where she saw Satoshi and saw he himself had vanished as well. Hana looked over as the two landed near her on opposite sides, hidden.

“Well that was a fail” Satoshi hissed

“If we were only a little faster we may have hit her" grumbled Hana. She wasn’t sure of their plan or if she was still leading so she just went for it. Her main jutsus were all wind release. Which wasn't saying a lot since she didn't have many. The one she planned to use however was her favorite of the two and the strongest too. Hana began running up the tree that she had hidden in and once at the top she lept into the air. Now above Hinata she reached into her tool pouches and pulled out six shuriken throwing then at Hinata, right behind that she clapped her hands together and used her best jutsu.

"Wind Style: Gale Palm!"

The shuriken were consumed in the violent winds from the jutsu and hurled at Hinata at deadly speed. At that same moment Amaya took advantage of what Hana had done and was using a jutsu that is held dear to all Uchiha. "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu" yelled Amaya as she shot a large fireball straight at Hinata distracting her and causing her to jump upwards, into the path of the wind shuriken.

“We’ve got her!” Satoshi cheered.

But he spoke too soon. Hinata spun around creating a rotating shield of chakra around herself that deflected the shuriken before landing on the ground. When she lifted her head the genin saw that her byakugan was activated.

“I’m not sure whether to be excited that she was forced into activating her byakugan or scared that she’s been forced into activating her byakugan” Satoshi fretted, jumping over to Hana and Amaya as they regrouped.

“Well we’re out of tricks” Amaya said irritably “Unless either of you have another jutsu to throw at her”

Hana shook her head and both girls looked over at Satoshi, the only one who had not used a jutsu yet.

“Satoshi what jutsu do you know?” Hana asked

“Erm. I can use my chakra to harden my bokken during fights” Satoshi said “and...that’s about it”

“How do you NOT know any jutsu?!” demanded Amaya “how useless are you?!?”

“I don’t see your attacks doing anything!” snapped Satoshi “If your such a great and almighty Uchiha then why don’t you do something besides spitting a fireball that won’t hit or throwing a punch that won’t connect?!”

“Why don’t you pick up a scroll and learn how to do something USEFUL?!” Amaya half shouted.

“Shut up! Both of you!” Hana snapped, taking charge “I swear every time you two are together all you do is argue and try to out do one another. Its almost like your an old married couple! Do I need to make you two kiss and make up or can we get back to the task at hand? You two boobs do realize she just activated byakugan right? So lets put aside our petty differences and figure out a way to pass this test ”

Amaya snorted “As if i’d ever date a peasant like him”

Satoshi snorted “How can I date her when she’s clearly in love with herself?”

“Come here” Hana said grimly “I’ve got a plan”

---

All alone Amaya stood, staring down her sensei with the air of smug superiority.

“Attacking me head on?” Hinata asked “Why would that ever work? Haven’t you tried this already?”

“For a regular genin, yeah. It’d probably be suicide” nodded Amaya “But i’m not some regular genin. I’m Amaya Uchiha. UCHIHA! Teamwork is all fine and dandy but now that the going is tough i’m the only one who can save the day”

“You really think that highly of yourself?” Hinata asked “Pride cometh before a fall..”

“I’ll never fall!” Amaya charged, hurling shuiken at the hyuuga who simply spun around and deflected them with a rotation. Amaya closed the distance between the two and attacked with a flurry of speedy punches that Hinata dodged or blocked before striking outwards with a palm. But Amaya ducked under the palm and aimed a snap kick at her teacher’s side, which she jumped back to avoid. They were in the forest now, Hinata swatted away a punch and struck Amaya’s arm with two fingers, her index and middle, causing pain to streak up her arm and the girl hissed in pain.

“I can see and close your chakra points” Hinata said, striking Amaya again in two different places, shutting down two more points. “No matter who you are or what clan your from attacking a hyguua head on the way your doing will never do anything but get you killed”

Amaya flung herself at Hinata, kunai in hand and swiped at her but Hinata caught her arm and twisted it behind her and her other hand blurred, striking the Uchiha multiple times in the torso and shutting down chakra points with every strike. Amaya crumpled, gasping for breath. It was getting harder and harder to feel her chakra and her body hurt all over. Hinata stood over her, pity all over her face

“Even your grandpa knows that he can’t defeat everything and everyone by himself, he understands the value of teamwork” Hinata sighed “I hope that you will come to understand it too, now that your defeated..”

“Defeated?” Amaya looked up at Hinata with a smirk “Were you not paying attention earlier sensei? I said I would save the day and that’s what I plan to do. HANA! SATOSHI! DO IT NOW!!!!”

“What?” Hinata’s eyes widened as a log swung down from behind Amaya, who pressed herself on the ground to avoid it. Hinata jumped up into the air to avoid it and landed at the top of a tree. A tree that just so happened to be filled with..

“Paper bombs?” Hinata counted one...two...three...five....eight...ten?!? Ten paper bombs placed on the tree she was sitting on...

There was a deafening explosion as the tree ignited, Hinata just barley jumping out of the way in time to escape injury, landing on the ground

Where Hana was waiting, she clapped her hands together.

“Wind style: Gale Palm!” she shouted, blowing their off guard sensei to the ground.

They had landed a hit on her.

Satoshi and Amaya (who was limping and looked pretty worse for wear) joined Hana, Satoshi grinning

“Nice job Hana” Satoshi cheered

“you know if I had time I could have thought up a decent plan too...” Amaya huffed

---

Earlier

“So i’m the bait?!” Amaya demanded in outrage

“Yes” Hana nodded “Satoshi can set up some traps. Your to lead sensei to this spot where the traps will go off. She’ll be able to dodge them but then I can hit her with my gale palm”

“But I can hit her with my fireball jutsu and YOU can be the bait” Amaya protested “and how do we even know Satoshi can set up traps?”

“I know how to set up traps!” Satoshi said, annoyed “I’m pretty fast actually!”

“And my attack is harder to dodge then your conspicuous, not very fast, obvious fireball. Its a pressurized gale of wind. Wind is hard to see..” Hana said “Besides, I think sensei would know better than to believe me or Satoshi ran out by ourselves to fight. She’d get suspicious”

“Its perfect!” Satoshi nodded “Just spout some of your 'Uchiha are better than everyone else’ bullcrap and she’ll think you don’t know the meaning of the word teamwork and then you can lead her to the trap!”

“But!”

“Unless of course you don’t think you can handle it..” Satoshi said with a smirk “the great Uchiha can’t even be proper bait..I guess I can do it if your too scared. I’m sure your grandpa taught you how to set up a trap..”

“I’ll do it” hissed Amaya “I’m more than capable of being bait! I can be bait with a blindfold!”

“Then lets do this” Hana said “Hopefully it works..”


---

Hinata looked over her three students and deactivated her byakugan

“Congratulations” she said “You pass. Team four is official”

Satoshi cheered, pumping his fist in the air.

“Rest up” Hinata told the three “Tomorrow we begin our first real missions. and make sure you look at those packets”

“Yes sensei” the trio nodded and walked off, discussing the test and wondering what sort of mission they would be going on. If Hinata didn’t know any better she’d say they actually bonded a little.

“Interesting team you’ve got there” a voice said. Hinata looked around and saw Naruto and Sasuke standing against a tree. Naruto looking a tad disgruntled and Sasuke looking smug.

“You were watching? Both of you?” Hinata raised her eyebrows

“I said I would” Naruto nodded “and Sasuke heard me talking to Sakura about it and decided to tag along”

“I wanted to see my granddaughter’s performance” Sasuke said “Dobe over here owes me ten ryo”

“Ten ryo?” Hinata asked, confused “Why?”

“I was so certain that Amaya would try fighting the battle herself and get beat up, ya know because Sasuke did that all the time back in the day, so we made a bet. I had it all in the bag until she went and revealed it was all some PLAN and all an act and she DOES know what the definition of teamwork is...ugh” the blonde sighed

“So you both came here just to make a bet and watch my students?” Hinata asked

“Of course not” Sasuke denied “There’s something you need to know about that new gravity village”
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,239
Awards
3
Age
27
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
Still has some grammatical errors, but I liked the way you made the battle. The dialog while they made the plan was especially interesting, I think. And seeing Naruto and Sasuke show up at the end was cool.
 

KingdomKey

Queen
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,261
Awards
26
Age
32
Wasn't expecting this at all. I mean, I honestly thought for sure, Amaya would take on Hinata alone. Instead, the three of them worked together as a team, which took me by surprise. Hana's plan was well executed by Satsohi and Amaya. I didn't expect Satoshi to know how to make paper bombs either. Hinata has quite the unique trio on her hands. That I look forward to their mission and seeing what other skills, squad four has to offer. Also, it was great seeing Sasuke and Naruto together at the end. But, I wonder what's so important about the new village hidden in gravity and why Hinata needed to know.
 

Lunarmaster54

Her Trouble-making Paladin
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
2,288
Awards
2
Age
31
Location
Kingdom of the sun
Chapter Four

“As you know the Sound Village once ruled by Orochimaru and his cunning and crafty second in command Kabuto has been over run many times throughout the years” Naruto said. They were sitting in Naruto’s office. Naruto behind his desk, Sasuke next to it and Hinata in front, listening intently.

“After the initial fall it was taken by bandits and those that were once imprisoned in the laboratories. After a few years the bandits and those that had chosen not to leave were forced to leave during the Fourth Great Ninja War. Sound being reduced to rubble from the battle that ensued. Sasuke and I joined forces to stop Izuna Uchiha since the Kages had already killed Madara. The battle lasted for days neither side giving an inch. We were like a well oiled machine Hinata, when I got tired Sasuke would cover me and vice versa. Izuna could only stave us off with summons and then we finally forced him to retreat to his pocket dimension where he would regain his chakra. This went on for what seemed like forever. That was until Sasuke forced Izuna out of his dimension using his Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan. Izuna was dragged out as the dimension crumbled. Out of options Izuna was forced to do battle knowing that there was no where to run. Before the final round (as I call it) Sasuke asked Izuna a question...


“How is it you are alive Izuna? You were recorded to have died honorably in battle some eighty years ago.”

“Indeed I did. Except, there was one small thing that everyone overlooked. Madara knew that there was always a possibility that he may fall in battle. Knowing that he used a technique that you should know well. Izanagi. Madara had decided long before I died that he needed a fail safe. So, knowing that I volunteered myself to help in any way. In his great wisdom Madara planted a great amount of his chakra into my body and sealed it away with a large mass of sharingan that were medically infused down the backs of my thighs and on my shoulderblades. Two places that rarely get hit in battle. It was brilliant. When I died he just simply released his chakra that had been sealed away all that time and activated the Izanagi. Naturally, I was reborn. All but two of My eyes were extinguished. It just so happened that those two belonged to brothers. The eyes had gained Mangekyo ability before I died. However when I was reborn it was as if the brothers had recieved one anothers eyes. Hence my Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan. So naturally I had the eyes planted in their proper places, my eyesockets of course. Trouble was, no one could know of my return so the mask was donned and Tobi was born. Anyway, if that answers all your questions little boy shall we get back to it?” mocked Izuna.

--------

“Of course this was more than enough for Sasuke to want to kill him even more. The battle between them lasted nearly the entire day. That was until a slumbering power within Sasuke awoke. A power unique to him and him alone....”


Naruto sensed that Sasuke had something up his sleeve. Using up the last of his Sage chakra, Naruto made as many clones as his chakra would allow. All of which attacked at once, some from the sky, others from the ground, even some under the ground dug up and grabbed his feet. After a swift and nasty beating from the roughly five thousand clones Izuna was a bloody pulp. That is when Sasuke struck the final blow.

“Blaze Style: Giant Hell Gate!” shouted Sasuke as black flames shot from the ground dripping angrily as they formed a giant black gate. The bars of the gate looked like the Suusano’s face but distorted and cynical. The gate swung open as black tendril like flames lashed out and grabbed Izuna, dragging him through, and as fast as the gate appeared it closed and disappeared. Izuna disappearing with it.

----

“It wasn’t until years later that Sasuke explained where Izuna went. He said that the gate was the doorway to his soul. Essentially he absorbed Izuna, therefore making Izuna and himself one in the same similar to what he did with Orochimaru. Over the years Izuna was completely broken down and absorbed entirely. After that horrific fight more of the same occupied the rubble. Bandits,thugs, mercenaries that was until recently"

“Until this..gravity village came and took over" Hinata finished.

“The thing is, Dobe’s spy network has picked up a disturbing rumor” Sasuke said darkly

“A rumor?” Hinata questioned

“Yeah” Sasuke nodded “According to the most recent intel we’ve received our spy has hypothesized that their leader is rumored to have..”

----

“This is Satoshi, reporting in. Target sighted. Over”

“Roger that boob. I’m ready to go. Amaya?”

“In position”

Satoshi took a deep breath, lining up his shot and gulping as he heard his teammates respond.

Everything was in place.

“Lets do this”

The kenjutsu master in training squeezed the trigger and a burst of water shot out of the hose and onto the floor of the cage he was rinsing out. He waiting a few seconds, waving the stream of water all over the area before letting go of the handle with a sigh. Hana moved in and began to squeegee the water out, essentially drying the cage. Satoshi sighed in relief and pushed a button on the headset he was wearing

“Cage eleven is poop free Amaya. Over” he said

“You know what else is poop free? THE GRASS!” Amaya’s irritated voice hissed in his ear and Satoshi laughed at the Uchiha’s misfortune

“POOP DAMN YOU!!!”

“I don’t think swearing at the dog is going to make him poop any faster” Satoshi chuckled as Hana finished up her work.

Team four was in the middle of the day’s last mission: they had to work at a kennel for three hours. A shift. They had to walk dogs, clean the cages of dogs, scoop poop, scoop cat litter, clean cat cages, do laundry, change the items that are in the cage to make the dogs and cats comfy and other various odds and ends around the business. Hana and Satoshi picked up on it quite quickly but it seemed Amaya was having difficulty. Turns out she’s not a animal person.

The sound of a door banging open alerted the duo of her return just as they finished cleaning up cage number twelve. She had been assigned to walk a golden retriever and scoop up his inevitable waste. But..

“I was out there for ten minutes!!!” she raged as she attempted to get her charge back in his temporary home “Ten minutes!! We circled and circled and circled the property but he wouldn’t pee or poop! I’m saying ‘go potty’ and ‘go outside’ so many times its like a chant and yet he STILL flat out REFUSED to potty! Refused! I swear he’s got it out for me”

“I don’t think he has it out for you Amaya” Hana said “You just suck with animals”

“I’m an Uchiha! Uchiha do. not. clean. kennels” Amaya paused as she slammed the cage door shut and latched it “Except for uncle Kenichi but we don’t talk about him”

“Well we’ll switch places” Satoshi offered, snickering. In his eyes, such failure was good for the young Uchiha but they needed to get a move on “You clean the cages and i’ll walk the dogs”

“No!” Amaya crossed her arms and refused “I’m done! No more dogs! No more grunt work! No more weed pulling, picture hanging, baby sitting, cat catching, floor mopping, flower picking, poop scooping, grocery shopping, trash collecting GRUNT WORK!” she growled and stomped over to Hana and Satoshi “We are NINJA. I’m a UCHIHA and I will not stand for this!”

“Do you really have a choice?” Hana asked “Everyone does these sorts of missions when they first start out. We’ve been genin for two weeks now so really its going to be a long time before we’re assigned any decent missions”

“On top of that sensei’s been gone a lot lately” Satoshi noted, sitting down against the wall “We see her maybe three times a week for team meetings? She’s supposed to be teaching us things!”

“As long as we stick to those packets that she gave us its not like we don’t get any training in” Hana said “She seems really busy all of the sudden”

It was true. Hinata had all but vanished when they weren’t at team meetings or when they were selecting missions for the day. She had taught them how to complete mission reports and they did various teamwork exercises but training wise they were left to their own devices, following the packet’s instructions. Hana followed them to the letter while Amaya did one or two things. Her grandpa was in the process of teaching her a new fire jutsu and her time was spent trying to master it. Satoshi was...slacking. He worked on various sword exercises and sometimes he’d do a packet activity but mostly he stuck to working on improving his sword prowess. Hinata seemed worried about something as well. She tried to mask it but every now and then one of the three would sense something..off about the woman. She wasn’t the sort of sensei they thought she would be.

“Well whatever the case may be i’m going to the hyuuga compound tonight to demand that she demand we go on a C rank mission” Amaya said, determinedly, breaking Satoshi from his thoughts “I want a mission that’s worth my time as a shinobi!”

“Do you really think we can handle such a thing?” Satoshi asked “We barley scrapped by when we fought sensei and what if we wind up against a jounin or something? That’s happened before. I heard the hokage’s first C rank mission turned out to be far more than that and he complained about missions too”

“Don’t go and jinx us Amaya” Hana warned “I’d rather not be cut down before I even become a teenager”

“What are the odds of that even happening?” Amaya scoffed “Its just a C rank mission. Do you two not want to get out of Konoha for a while?”

She was all for leaving this cramped village and beating up some bandits or going to a new town. It was funny how such a large village can become ‘cramped’ when you finally get the option of going somewhere new.

Hana just shrugged and walked around, checking the cages and making sure everything was locked up tight. Satoshi was imagining such a thing. Getting out of the village? Meeting new people? Real ninja work that didn’t involve back breaking labor?

“I think i’m going to come with you” he decided with a nod

“What happened to caution and patience and these kinds of missions were the sort all beginner ninja do?” Hana demanded

“The idea of freedom dashed such caution” Satoshi said, grinning “I’m ready to stretch my legs so to speak”

Hana groaned. She didn’t know why but she just had a bad feeling about this.
The shift ended and Satoshi and Amaya made a beeline in the direction of the hyuuga compound. Their plan was to find their sensei or wait for her to return and then ambush her. They weren’t going to take no for an answer! But as soon as the trio left the kennel they saw, to their surprise, Hinata was waiting for them. She looked pensive but as she saw them it quickly was dashed away behind a mask. Nevertheless when she spoke her tone was brisk and businesslike. Amaya spoke up quickly though.

“Sensei, as an Uchiha and the grand daughter of the anbu captain I DEMAND...”

“Pack your bags and say goodbye to your families for a while” Hinata interrupted “Tomorrow we leave on our first C rank mission”

Amaya’s voice died and Satoshi blinked “Well that was anti-climactic” he commented. Hana merely looked at the hyuuga who was looking at the three with a trace of worry deep in her eyes and...was that guilt? The bad feeling Hana had intensified.

Something was wrong here.
 
Last edited:

KingdomKey

Queen
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,261
Awards
26
Age
32
Aw, just when it was getting to the best part, it switches view points! I wonder what the leader of the village hidden in gravity is rumored to have and why it's so alarming to the three of them. Even more surprising, is that now Hinata is taking squad four on a C rank mission. I highly doubt this is any ordinary C rank kind of mission, especially if Hinata is acting this worried. I look forward to how well squad four will handle such a mission. Other then that, loved learning how the final battle took place in the Fourth Great Ninja War. Sasuke and Naruto working as team was great.
 

Abhorsen

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
699
Age
36
Location
somewhere
@ KingdomKey

Aw, just when it was getting to the best part, it switches view points! I wonder what the leader of the village hidden in gravity is rumored to have and why it's so alarming to the three of them.


Hehe.. that was me... gotcha! I cant just spill all the good stuff right off the bat.. Suspense... buahahahahaha



loved learning how the final battle took place in the Fourth Great Ninja War

Thanks! Lunar left that part to me. I hope it was believable. I had to put some effort into explaining how and who Tobi was with things lining up and making sense.

You will not be let down when you find everything about The Village Hidden by Gravity. It took a good hour to flesh out what and who. Its pretty intense. The writers of Naruto may need to call us up soon. lol jk

What did you think of Sasuke's 'Blaze Style: Giant Hell Gate'? I was unsure if it would be believable. It made sense in my mind though..
 
Last edited:

KingdomKey

Queen
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,261
Awards
26
Age
32
@Abhorsen~

Hehe.. that was me... gotcha! I cant just spill all the good stuff right off the bat.. Suspense... buahahahahaha

Aw, but the suspense is killing me and I want to know more, lol x'D it definitely makes me more eager for the next chapter.

Thanks! Lunar left that part to me. I hope it was believable. I had to put some effort into explaining how and who Tobi was with things lining up and making sense.

You will not be let down when you find everything about The Village Hidden by Gravity. It took a good hour to flesh out what and who. Its pretty intense. The writers of Naruto may need to call us up soon. lol jk

Your welcome! The story so far is really impressive and amazing, that the details that have gone into this fic are very believable! The writes of Naruto should definitely give you two a call ;] the explaination you gave about Tobi makes tons of sense to me and it was done very well. I really do look forward to learning all about The Village Hidden by Gravity and all the details you put into it, Abhorsen.

What did you think of Sasuke's 'Blaze Style: Giant Hell Gate'? I was unsure if it would be believable. It made sense in my mind though..

It's very believable! A really unique jutsu that only Sasuke knows how to do, was very impressive. It reminds me of Itachi because of the black flames and Orochimaru because of Izuna being asorbed. I'm surprised that Izuna was broken down inside of Sasuke after a long length of time inside of himself as well.
 

Abhorsen

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
699
Age
36
Location
somewhere
Aw, but the suspense is killing me and I want to know more, lol x'D it definitely makes me more eager for the next chapter.


We may do a POV sometime within the next few posts from the Leaders perspective. Not sure yet. In any case chapter 5 will be started soon. Just deciding what it will 'exactly be about'.
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,239
Awards
3
Age
27
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
Dialogue is supposed to be puncuated.

For example:
"Kairi is the best character ever," Mega explained. "You just don't understand."
"What makes her so great?" Pup put down her book before she added, "Plus, she's pregnant with Roxas's baby."
Mega would not stand for such insolence. "You don't even play the games!"
Pup said, "I know; you're just so easy to mess with."

^See, at the end of a declarative sentence or imperative sentence, before something like "X said," you put a comma. At the end of the line, such sentences get their regular period.
At the end of questions or exclamation, the usual mark follows.
The words between the dialogue also should get the appropriate punctuation.
o3o


Anyways, onto things that matter more, I liked the humor from Amaya's opinion on the chores, and you guys continue to show the characters' personalities well. I'm excited to see where things will head from here. :D
 

Lunarmaster54

Her Trouble-making Paladin
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
2,288
Awards
2
Age
31
Location
Kingdom of the sun
Chapter Five

After Hinata Sensei had explained the mission with that painful look of guilt on her face Hana and the others had left the kennels to go pack and prepare to leave the next morning. Hana had to pack carefully, she needed her pack to be manageable incase they ran into bandits or rogue ninja. She also needed to dress appropriately. It would be hot in the Hidden Waterfall Village, so she would dress light. She decided she would wear an attire similar to Ino sensei’s. That night she wrapped bandages from her waist to her mid thigh, that would be covered with a skirt with slits on both sides to allow more mobility. For her top she also wrapped bandages from her chest to just above her waist. Over the bandages she would wear a loose fitting tank top with deep arm holes. 'There’ she thought. ‘I should be cool if I wear that. Watch that boob Sato wear pants and a heavy shirt. That is if he is even on time’ thought Hana as she prepared her bath. She would get super clean since she may not have the ability to bathe aside from maybe a stream or a side street inn for the next few days. After her bath Hana dried her hair and climbed in bed, setting her alarm. They were leaving at eight a.m. .

Amaya took the long way home, stopping by the ramen stand before she returned home. She took a long shower and then started packing, choosing her outfit. It consisted of a navy blue sleeveless top with the Uchiha crest on the back, black shorts that went down just a few inches above her knee and sandles. With that settled Amaya packed the rest of her bag, a few changes of clothing, some first aid, her shower supplies and tooth brush ( all of which had the Uchiha symbol on it) and slipped into her pajamas (black footie pajamas with the clan symbol dotted all over them. Custom made)

Once this was all done she began reading the newest scroll her grandpa had given her, practicing the hand signs involved and studying up on her newest jutsu.

Hana knew two jutsu already and as a Uchiha Amaya refused to be in 'second place’

Satoshi went home, ate and slept after his shower. Not giving the next day a thought other than grabbing a black short sleeved shirt and red shorts to wear. He did, however, talk to his parents and let them know he’d be leaving tomorrow on a big important mission!

****

“Are you sure about this Hinata?” Naruto asked, worried about his long time friend and the stress she was currently under. Night had fallen and the two were sitting in Naruto’s apartment “You don’t have to bring your team and you don’t even have to take this mission. I can give it to someone else”

“I’m their teacher” Hinata said firmly “I haven’t been doing the job I should be since I’ve been busy with trying to find..him.. but this is the first solid lead we have. I’m not wasting it” She accepted the soda Naruto offered her and took a swig.

“Alright” Naruto sighed, sitting down on the couch opposite her “Be careful will you? This mission is A rank, can you team handle it?”

“Team seven did” Hinata replied “If you guys handled Zabuza then we can handle this. If all goes well then they won’t even encounter him. I’ll have it all wrapped up within a day”

“I hope so” the sixth hokage said. He smiled at her and the two started talking about other, lighter topics

***

Hana awoke the next morning and packed the rest of her things, in total she had packed a total of two changes of clothes, a bar of soap, deodorant, her toothbrush and paste, a few hair ties and one on her wrist, extra bandages in case the ones she wore were ruined or torn, all of her ninja tools that she usually carried, toilet paper of course, a map, and finally a canteen of water. Sensei was bringing the medicine and food. After double checking her supplies she got dressed and finished getting ready. She told her parents bye and ran out the door pack on her back. She arrived at the gate to leave for The Hidden Waterfall Village. Amaya naturally was there already, but Sato was not... 'how surprising..’ thought Hana dryly as she sat her pack on the ground by her feet.

Hinata sensei looked worried and she had this habit where she touched her two fingers together over and over. It seemed she did that when something important was on her mind. Hana looked at Amaya as if she was saying go talk to her. Amaya crinkled her nose and half smirked. Hana knew exactly what that meant. 'I am an Uchiha, we do not bother our wonderful and noble selves with such rif raf and low brow work. It is not only below me but I should have you jailed for even considering such a heinous and absolutely revolting idea. The nerve!!’ 'yea that sounds about right’ thought Hana as she walked over and put a hand on her sensei’s shoulder.

“Whatever is bothering you sensei its ok. I am sure it will work itself out. Lets get ready to go. That boo.. I mean Sato cant be that much longer. Its three past eight already!”

Hinata smiled and nodded.

***

Satoshi yawned, shutting off his alarm clock at Eight fifteen. He rubbed his eyes and scratched himself as he stumbled and bumbled over to his shower, peeling off his pajamas and getting in. It was a refreshing, ten minute shower but the boy was still half asleep as he walked over to the breakfast table and poured himself a bowl of shinobi Os and milk along with a tall glass of orange juice. He was on his second bowl when his mom walked in at eight thirty and gave him a confused look

“Satoshi?” the brunette asked

“yeah mom?” he yawned, chewing another bite

“I thought you had that big mission today? Eight o clock?”

Satoshi’s spoon hit the ground and milk dribbled down his tank top as his mouth hung open in sheer horror.

****


“Does you alarm clock function properly?”

Satoshi was standing, late and shame faced, in front of a livid Amaya, a very annoyed looking Hana and disappointed Hinata. The latter two were quite content with letting the irate Uchiha verbally rip him apart so the very late ninja could expect no help from their corners.

“Yes” he said, wondering why he was letting Amaya chew him out.

“Then how in the HELL can you be FIFTY FOUR MINUTES LATE?!” Amaya roared looking very close to strangling the life out of him. Satoshi stepped back just in case.

“Satoshi we’re very behind because of you” Hinata said in that same disappointed tone that was driving Satoshi bananas. “This mission is very simple and should only take us today and tomorrow. We will deliver these supplies to the Hidden Waterfall Village, pick up our own shipment of supplies and head on home”

“Yes sensei!” the squad said, eager to be out of the village and doing something that didn’t involve backbreaking chores. Amaya even momentarily forgot about her anger about the long delay.

As they left Konoha, Hana looked around at the trees and small animals scampering around as she walked. Hinata sensei had found an appropriate way to punish the boob for being nearly an hour late. He was assigned ‘Supreme Ruler of Cart Duty.’ The title came with an added bonus. He was given the task of carrying Hinata sensei’s pack. Which was irregularly large and extremely bulky. Satoshi complained when he saw it, (“I’m not a mule!”) but when he put it on his back he fell to the floor face first.

Hana looked over at Amaya who was also looking at the woods around her. She looked skeptical. ‘Is she doubting the sincerity of our mission?’ wondered Hana as she bumped elbows with her pretending to not notice. Amaya looked over and after taking a second to make sure Hana didn’t need to say anything she went back to her thoughts. Hana sighed, it was nice to be doing something productive. These supplies seemed vital to the Hidden Waterfall Village.

“Wonder what is inside?” questioned Hana, deciding to break the silence with some conversation.

“Super awesome swords!” Satoshi said brightly “Wait no! chakra blades.. yeah.. chakra blades. I bet thats it!” he nodded, convinced, and continued to heave the cart along.

“Who cares, lets just get this grunt mission over with so you.. I mean we can prove our worth.” sneered Amaya with a wave of her hand.

It was pretty much exactly what Hana thought the two would say. Two weeks as a team and already she had them both pegged.

“Now, now lets not get ahead of ourselves" Hinata chastised “There is still a long walk ahead of us before we reach the Village. So lets be civil, we are a team after all. Aren’t we?”

“Yes Sensei.” chimed back the three all separately Amaya last to swallow her pride, Uchiha pride being the biggest and most bitter after all.

It wasn’t too long before the team came to a three way split in the road. The road to the right said ‘Hidden Sound (decimated),’ the one that went straight said Hidden Waterfall,” and the one on the left said ‘Hidden Sand.’ Hana, actually reading the signs went straight, as did Amaya and Hinata. Sato however was humming to himself and went right. Falling straight into an ambush. The cart dropped ten feet into a pit while Satoshi was strung up in a chakra resistant net. The pack went up with him, crushing him under its weight.

“I feel like a waffle!” he choked out

“Not only do you arrive nearly an hour late but now you’ve gone and lost our cart!!” Amaya raged. Smoke filled the air, engulfing them all and effectively blinding them.

“So were you just waiting here to ambush cart carriers?” Hinata’s voice sounded calm, there was an icy undercurrent to it.

“Just hand over the goods lady and you and your little munchkins won’t be hurt” an oily voice responded

“Munchkin?!” Amaya’s eyes nearly popped out “I. AM. A..”

“Calm down Amaya” Hinata’s voice said soothingly as Amaya looked around blindly and angrily “I’ll deal with them and we can get back to the mission. Hana, just stay put and don’t blow the smoke away yet”

Amaya gritted her teeth and stood there, crossing her arms.

“Feel where the attacks are coming from, if you can’t use your eyes then use your other senses” Hinata said “That’s how you fight blindly and effectively ”

Everything was silent again and all that could be heard were the sounds of thuds, grunts of pain and curses. All of which came from unfamiliar voices.

“Blow away the smoke Hana. I’m all finished here” Hinata’s voice said, sounding relaxed “Didn’t even need to use my Byakugan”

“Wind style: Gale Palm!”

The smoke vanished in a gust of wind. There were six ninja laying sprawled out in the dirt around a completely unharmed (not a hair out of place) Hinata.

“Did you just blindly beat those rouge ninja to prove that it was possible?” Satoshi called “that sounds like something Amaya would do sensei!”

Amaya growled at him and refused to lift a finger to help him out of his net. She also ignored the cart that was still in the pit and had all of the supplies that was supposed to be delivered, un-tarnished to their destination.

Her mind was reeling however.

‘She...she just beat six chunin level ninja with what amounted to her eyes being closed!!’ the girl thought, shocked. She was pretty sure that the genin would have had a lot of trouble fighting off the wanna be cart thieves. With both eyes wide open no less! Yet their teacher..

“That was so cool sensei!” Satoshi cheered as he was cut down “All I could see from my tree was this big plume of smoke! and you were right in the middle of it!”

Hinata smiled at him “Thank you Satoshi. Now lets get a move on. We’ve still got about three hours until we reach Hidden Waterfall Village. Get that cart out of the pit”

Satoshi nodded “Alright! Together we can....can...” the others simply began to walk up the path leaving him alone “Oh ha ha very funny” he chuckled “Leaving me to get the cart out alone because I fell into the trap and didn’t pay attention....guys? guys?” They were getting farther and farther away. Not even Hinata looked back.

“Oh come on!”
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top