• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Fanfiction ► Path to Greatness: The Story of Team Four



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

KingdomKey

Gold Member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,265
Awards
26
Age
30
-takes a deep breath- I CAN'T BELIEVE HINATA ACTUALLY LIED TO THEM!

Okay, now that I've gotten over that shocking piece of information, I am extremely curious about who went rogue or missing, that Hinata wants to find. I actually have a good idea who it may be already, but I'll wait to find out if it's true and the story behind it.

Also, Amaya sure is obsessed with the crest of the Uchiha clan, much like her grandpa Sasuke. Satoshi's reaction to his mother telling him the time was absoulety hysterical. Hana having the upper hand with the number of jutsu's compared to Amaya was nice to know. That bag Satoshi has to carry, wonder what's inside of it. Kind of have the feeling it's something important for Hinata to use in battle or something else entirely that I haven't thought of yet.

Hinata singled handledly taking out those rogue ninja's was impressive, but Hinata isn't literally blinded is she? I know if they use Byakugan too much they can be.

Looking forward to squad 4 arriving in the Hidden Waterfall Village and seeing how that turns out.
 
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
724
Awards
7
Age
30
Location
dancing on sunshine and gingersnaps
I really like it so far. Hana's inner thought's remind me a little of Sakura in the begining of the series. And the way you described Naruto and Sasuke's fight against Izuna sounded like it could actually happen (I'm gonna laugh if you guy's are right). Looking forward to more, but I'm left with a few questions.

Does anyone else know the truth about Itachi, or is it still a big secret?
Are Naruto and Sakura married?
And will we see more flashbacks?

Anyway keep up the good work :)
 

Abhorsen

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
699
Age
34
Location
somewhere
And the way you described Naruto and Sasuke's fight against Izuna sounded like it could actually happen (I'm gonna laugh if you guy's are right).

Thanks it took me a few minutes to put it all together. Im glad you liked it, if I am right then they really better give us a call. haha.

Does anyone else know the truth about Itachi, or is it still a big secret?

I would imagine that it is well known to those that remember him and knew him. Sasuke would probably want to clear Itachi's name. (If you were to ask my opinion that is..)


Are Naruto and Sakura married?

Yes, sorry if we failed to elaborate on it. Im sure somewhere we will flashback it. Which leads to your last question.

And will we see more flashbacks?

Of course, not everything that we do will follow the canon. What I mean by that is some of it (the canon) will come out after we have explained it our way. Also, some things we do wont happen in the actual canon either. There may be things that happen in 'our past' that doesn't happen in the show/manga. Ultimately, there will be differences I'm sure, they will be believable and well planned though. (As you have seen with the fight between 'Tobi' and Naruto/Sasuke.) Believe it!




If there are any more questions or comments please ask or say them cause we will start writing chapter 6 today. :D
 
Last edited:
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,240
Awards
3
Age
26
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
The wording was a bit awkward at times and you spelled "heinous" as "hanus".

I like how the mission is starting off. Everyone is still perfectly following their established characters, and Hinata was amazing after Satoshi's little blunder. And it was funny the way that you chose to end it, too. :D
 

Lunarmaster54

Her Trouble-making Paladin
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
2,288
Awards
2
Age
29
Location
Kingdom of the sun
Chapter Six

“There it is”

Amaya, Hana and Satoshi (who had saved the cart from certain destruction) looked on in awe as Hinata pointed to a giant waterfall in front of them. After three hours of walking they had finally made it!

“So where’s the dude who’s supposed to be exchanging goods with us?” Satoshi puffed, face red and sweaty from all of that walking and pulling. Fishing the cart out of the hole wasn’t an easy task either. Especially after he fell in and had to climb back out again. The young swordsman doubted he would have even caught up to the party if it wasn’t for Hinata deciding they should take a quick rest break.

“He should be here soon” Hinata replied, looking around “Ahh. There she is now”

A girl was walking towards them, wet for some reason. She had medium length blue hair that was tied up with a few purple flowers in it, chocolate brown eyes and was wearing a brown and blue outfit with matching long boots. She wasn’t wearing a forehead protector but was wearing a red scarf.

“Looks like she swam here,” Amaya commented as they watched her approach. She looked about their age as well.

“Your the ninja from Konoha?” she asked

“Yes” Hinata confirmed “I’m Hinata Hyuuga and this is my squad: Hana Astral, Amaya Uchiha and Satoshi Kurokami”

“Nice to meet you” the girl smiled “I’m Zaria Bara. A genin from the waterfall village sent to collect you”

“Collect us?” Amaya asked, confused “But we’re just supposed to trade goods”

“I’m sorry but we don’t have all of the supplies for the trade” Zaria said sadly “They should arrive in the morning so you’ll have to spend the night. Unless you wanna drag that cart back to Konoha and back?”

“Oh hell no” Satoshi spoke up “As the designated Supreme Ruler of Cart I decree that we spend the night in waterfall village”

“We’ll take you up on your offer to let us spend the night in your village” Hinata said “Hold on. Step away from the cart Satoshi”

“With pleasure” the tired shinobi muttered “How do we even get to this village anyway?”

“We swim” Hinata said as the four began to walk away from the cart

“Swim?” Satoshi demanded “Swim?! and what about the cart?”

“It’ll be fine Satoshi” Hinata said “We took care of the rogues remember?”

“But I worked so hard to get it here!!!” Satoshi protested “It was so diffi...”

“You pulled that cart here all by yourself?” Zaria asked, looking back at him and looking a little impressed

“Of course I did” Satoshi switched gears “I even defended it from a hoard of rouge ninja thieves, it was so easy. I could have done it with my headband over my eyes”

“You know I took so much care not to step in crap on the way here” Amaya commented to Hana “and now he’s going to get it all over my shoes with those tall tales of his...”

The four walked over into a nearby cave, inside of it was filled with what looked like hotsprings. Zaria walked over to one and hopped in. Hinata followed suit.

“Luckily the Uchiha clan are nation renowned swimmers” Amaya said smugly

“But your a clan that works with FIRE” Satoshi said “How in the world...?”

“Details are unimportant” Amaya waved a hand “Lets get going” she hopped into the spring, Hana and Satoshi behind her. They swam down what was essentially a tunnel, Amaya swimming quite fast while Satoshi lagged behind. Eventually though they resurfaced (which was a good thing since Satoshi was running out of breath) and pulled themselves back up to dry land, Zaria and Hinata were waiting for them

“Welcome” Zaria said “To the Hidden Waterfall Village”

The village looked to be half the size of konoha, filled with huts and small houses. In the center of the village was a giant tree with a ring of water around it.

“Primitive” Amaya muttered “Is this is village of cavemen or shinobi?” Hinata hushed the girl

“Where would you like the cart?” she asked. In response a few ninja appeared around them

“They’ll take it” Zaria said. Hinata nodded and unrolled a scroll and clapped her hands, placing one on the scroll. In a puff of smoke the cart appeared and landed in front of it.

Satoshi was understandably angry

“WHY DIDN’T WE LEAVE THE DAMN THING IN THE VILLAGE?!?” he roared “WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT WHEN IT WAS IN THE HOLE?!?”

“Well I was planning on it. But then you were almost an hour late” Hinata replied

“Satoshi is terrible when it comes to time management” Amaya said to Zaria while Satoshi growled and grumbled about unfair work.

“So i’ll show you to where you’ll be staying” Zaria said and the four set off.

“So we’re staying at the leader of the village’s house?” Hana asked Hinata “Is that normal?”

Hinata didn’t seem to hear her.

After a few moments the five were standing right in front a large house. One of the only houses in the area that wasn’t a hut of some sort.

“This is where i’ll leave you all” Zaria said “I hope you enjoy your stay here” with a nod at them the girl vanished.

“She was nice” commented Satoshi as a man walked out of the large house and greeted them. He was about five feet and eleven inches tall and muscular, green eyes and wearing a grey flak jacket and black clothes underneath.

“Hello Miss. Hyuuga” he greeted them

“Gilford Mizuku” Hinata smiled back “Nice to see you again. Its been what? Six years since you became leader of the village?”

“Six indeed” nodded the raven haired man “I see you have your own squad now?”

“Satoshi, Hana and Amaya” nodded Hinata politely “Thank you for letting us sleep in your home for tonight”

“Anytime” smiled Gilford “You did save my life during the war”

Hinata turned to her students

“Lets unpack shall we?”

-----

It turned out they each had their own room all to themselves. It also turned out that the bags of Hinata’s that Satoshi had to carry all of this time were filled with rocks and heavy objects. She knew he’d been slacking off with his training and so it was a fitting punishment for him. She also gave him a scroll filled with new training instructions so he could catch up on what he’d been slacking off on. He wasn’t pleased.

Meanwhile after unpacking and sitting on her bed for a few minutes talking to Amaya about Satoshi’s punishment (he hadn’t stopped complaining about it yet), Hana decided she would work on strengthening her jutsu and her chakra control. She didn’t want anyone knowing what she was doing so she simply told Amaya that she was going for a walk to look at the village. She could already walk and run up trees but she was a little uneasy on water. She could do it, it was just a little messy. Her feet would sometimes sink a little and she would splash. She needed the practice and since she had time to kill she would go practice. First off she would work on her water walking, then she would try and strengthen her two jutsus.

Hana walked for a little while looking for a decent area to practice without being spotted. She decided behind the waterfall would do. She walked through the waterfall and behind was a small cave with a large pool of water that was the size of maybe a small to medium pond. She stripped off her skirt, tank top and shoes leaving only her bandages and dove in. Swimming to the bottom Hana sat on the floor of the pool concentrating her chakra. She had decided to go straight for the jutsu then the water walking. She didn’t have long under the water before she would need to surface. That was the point, she needed to generate a stronger version of the jutsu and do it faster. Making the proper hand signs she activated the jutsu. “Wind Style: Spiraling Wind Ball” Holding out her hand she focused on holding the jutsu together under the water without it falling apart under the pressure of the water. Wind jutsu was strong but was merely wind at the end of the day. So it was only good for bursts not substance. Hana wanted to change that. The ball fizzled out after five seconds. Hana was then forced to surface and repeat the procedure. After training for two hours Hana had only been able to improve by one second. She was exhausted, her chakra nearly depleted. Which was a feat in itself. She had a lot of chakra, Yamato sensei had even commented at the amount she possessed saying it was comparable to their Hokage when he was a child. She smiled at the memory. Sitting up she shook her head and slapped her cheeks deciding to go again. As she stood Hinata sensei walked through the waterfall and into the cave.

“Hey Hana, what are you doing?” said Hinata smiling.

“H-How did you find me here?” stammered Hana.

“Byakugan, remember. Only took me a second to find your chakra signature.” commented Hinata as she pointed to her eyes.

“Never mind about, no-one was supposed to see me here. This training was supposed to be secret.” added Hana puckering her bottom lip in disappointment.

“It still is, I wont tell the others.” said Hinata smiling. “Want some help?” added Hinata smiling again.

“Thanks but I don’t think you use Wind jutsu Hinata sensei.. do you?” asked Hana.

“Hehe, no. You see The Hyuuga clan doesn’t really rely on justu outside of our clan’s style of fighting. We don’t really need to. So I really can’t help you with your wind jutsu” said Hinata as she reached into her ninja tools bag. “What I can do is give you this chakra pill. It will refill your chakra.” said Hinata handing it to Hana as she began to walk away.

“Cool, thanks Hinata sensei! Dont you want to see what I am working on?” yelled Hana as Hinata was nearly out of the cave.

“Byakugan, remember? I already know, it is a good idea, keep at it!” said Hinata as she passed under the waterfall.

Hana ate the pill and dove back in. She would double her training this time. She made the ball even bigger and held it for eight seconds. ‘Did that little vote of confidence really help that much?’ wondered Hana as she swam back up to the surface. She continued the training with the Spiraling Wind Ball for another two hours. Once finished she could hold it for ten seconds under all that pressure. ‘That is a lot of improvement for one training session.’ thought Hana. Little did she know, that pool was diluted Hero’s Water. The tap for the tree was directly above her. The shinobi of the village had discovered that soaking in the water had no adverse effects. While drinking it shortened their life span.

.............................

Later that evening Hana was awoken from a fantastic dream. She was able to use all of the elements and she was fighting in some great battle. What she awoke to was not however that great. It was Satoshi aka ‘The Boob’ with a stomach ache. Hana rolled over and tried to force her dream to return but Sato’s whining prevented that. She threw the covers back and stomped over to Sato.

“Go tell Hinata sensei! She can probably help.” snarled Hana.

She peered into the darkness looking for her bed. Finding it, she climbed into it and was nearly asleep when Sato burst into her room.

“Hinata sensei isnt in her room!! Her bed is all messy, it looks like there may have been a small struggle.” exclaimed Sato.

This time Hana was out of bed and awake. ‘Where is she?’ wondered Hana as she put her tanktop and her skirt on. Sato standing there the entire time, eyes comically wide and sporting what looked like a small nosebleed that he quickly sniffed away. Hana rolled her eyes, she didn’t even think of him as a boy. He was just ‘the boob.’ Pulling her shoes on as she shot out the door grabbing her ninja gear from the peg on the wall.

“Go wake Amaya up. fill her in and meet me at sensei’s room” ordered Hana as she dashed down the hall.

Satoshi nodded and ran over to Amaya’s room. It sure was convenient that their rooms were side by side, Hinata’s down the hall. He burst into the room

“AMAYA! HINATA SENSEI IS MISS...AHHHH!” He ducked as a fireball surged out of the room and nearly took his face off. He was too slow to dodge the chair. The top of his nailed him right in his aching tummy. He collapsed with a moan.

“What the hell was that for?!” he demanded

“Why are you in my room?!” Amaya roared back “I could have been naked!”

“Your wearing FOOTIE. PAJAMAS!” Satoshi yelled back “There’s nothing naked about you! And why do they even MAKE footie pajamas with that particular design anyway?!? Are you Uchiha THAT arrogant?!?”

“Shut up!” snapped Amaya “Now what do you want?”

“Hinata sensei is missing!” Satoshi explained quickly about his stomach ache and how he went to tell Hinata about it but found that she wasn’t in her room

“and it looked like there was a small scuffle” he finished

The two genin raced over to Hinata’s room. Hana was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and foot tapping. “Go look in there” she hissed. The duo looked and what they found was not a small scuffle. The entire back wall was blown out and the room looked completely trashed

“Can you explain to me how THIS is a small scuffle?” Hana hissed again “Look at that room, the entire back wall is missing. Missing Satoshi. It wasn’t taken down and stacked neatly in the corner. Its gone. Can you tell me what’s supposed to be there?”

Satoshi gulped and said sheepishly and quietly “The wall?”

“THE WALL!!!”

Hana walked into the room, shaking her head in disbelief that her teammate was actually that worthless.

“How did you graduate the acadamy again?” Amaya wondered as the three looked around the room.

“Why would someone attack Hinata?” wondered Satoshi “How would they even know she’s here?”

“I knew there was something off about this mission” Hana growled

“Then lets go after her after I find some medicine for my stomach” Satoshi said determinedly

“No lets go after her NOW you boob” snapped Hana. The boy sighed and nodded, holding his tummy and the three genin jumped off into the night.

-------------------------------------

In front of the waterfall where Hana did her earlier training two shinobi battled it out.

“Eight trigrams one hundred and twenty eight palms!” Hinata snarled, slamming her final attack into the torso of her foe. The black coated figure was thrown into the waterfall and Hinata turned to a coffin like structure that he had been carrying. She sighed. It was over.

“Still as powerful as always Hinata” a voice called. Hinata spun around with a growl as the cloaked figure stepped out of the waterfall, chuckling. He even looked unhurt.

“Why are you trying to kidnap the adoptive daughter of the village leader?” demanded Hinata dangerously “and how did that attack not affect you?”

“Why does it matter? You would have come after me anyway” replied the figure “"and as for how i'm unhurt...well i'm sure you've heard of substitution jutsu” He slipped off his hood, reveling long black hair and pupiless white eyes “Your quite the hypocrite princess”

“I’m no hypocrite” Hinata growled “Traitor!”

“You tell people that you hate revenge and yet you’ve been after my blood ever since I murdered your little sister Hanabi after the war” chuckled the other hyuuga.

“I want to bring you to justice” Hinata said “Its different”

“Different? You feed your team some bullshit story about a cargo mission just so you can follow me here. Your attacks are designed to kill, not incapacitate and on top of that I can SEE the hate in your eyes as you look at me” mocked the man.

“Your a traitor to our village, a murderer and a rouge ninja. S class” Hinata said “As I said, i’m here to bring you to justice”

“You’ll enjoy it” replied the hyuuga “You can’t wait to silence me. I guess...” he faked a sniff “..I guess all of that tripe about love and marriage..our whole relationship in general meant nothing to you”

“You KILLED my SISTER! You LIED to me!” Hinata took a step forward “YOU ruined our relationship! You were acting all along Toshiro!”

“Your angry about being lied too. About acting” Toshiro smiled at her “How do you think your squad feels?”

“They have no idea what’s happening” Hinata said quickly “and they never will!”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that”

Hinata turned around and gasped. Standing there, wearing looks that varied between disappointment, anger and hurt was team four.
 
Last edited:

Abhorsen

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
699
Age
34
Location
somewhere
So, this is our biggest chapter yet... 2,939 words!! Its a monster! I would advise going to the bathroom and getting some popcorn or fatty snack food before sitting down for this treat. Enjoy!!
 

KingdomKey

Gold Member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,265
Awards
26
Age
30
You weren't kidding about how long this chapter was going to be, lol.

I was way off about what was inside of that bag, Satoshi had to carry all the way here. It was funny listening to him complain about it and Hinata giving him work to do, for slacking off. I'm curious about how the jutsu will turn out, that Hana is working on. Amaya, just when I thought I couldn't be more surprised about her. Was not expecting her to wear footie pajamas with the Uchiha crest on them, lol.

Now about Hinata. I wasn't expecting Toshiro, to be the rogue ninja she was searching for. Let alone, having a relationship with a long time ago. I thought for sure it would have been Neji Hyuuga. Much to my surprise it wasn't, lol. I forgot Hinata even had a sister. I feel bad for her, especially now that Toshiro has turned the tables on her with her own squad members. As if losing her sister wasn't bad enough. I wonder how Hinata will make it up to them and stop Toshiro from his plans.

Was a great chapter guys! I look forward to the next one ;]

Also is Toshiro canon or an OC?
 

Lunarmaster54

Her Trouble-making Paladin
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
2,288
Awards
2
Age
29
Location
Kingdom of the sun
Toshiro is actually an OC. and speaking of.....

....
..............
.....


Chapter Seven

“I can explain” Hinata said quietly, taking a step forwards towards her team. But Satoshi glared at her, hand still on his stomach and Amaya actually growled “Stay away!”

Hinata recoiled and Toshiro simply smirked, deciding to enjoy the show for the time being.

“So the truth comes out” Amaya said coldly “The reason behind team four’s formation”

“You don’t..”

“Shut up” Amaya snapped “What kind of sensei are you? You take two week old genin off on a mission where you know there will be an S class criminal. Its not like back in grandpa’s day where the client lied and there was a S class criminal. You brought us here with the full knowledge of who was waiting in the shadows! In the two weeks we’ve been a team you didn’t bother to teach us anything of value! All you did was give us a packet and make us do D rank missions while you vanish off doing who knows what. Then all of the sudden, when the target of your REVENGE appears, you decide to take us with you during your little vanishing act. Or maybe you had no choice. Maybe you took us along so you would have a logical excuse as to why you’d even be here in the first place”

“It was a mission” Hinata said “An A ranked mission”

“Oh so our glorious hokage knew you were putting children in danger” Amaya snarled maliciously “what an example to set. I bet the leader of the village knew as well, no WONDER we got to stay at his house! This was a mission to protect his daughter from the man you wanna kill so of course you quickly jump at it and lie your way here. Look over there sensei. The man has the girl in the coffin and do you even plan to do anything about it?”

She spun around and stormed off, out of sight and throwing her next words over her shoulder

“Your not my teacher anymore. I quit”

There was a deafening silence behind Amaya. Satoshi’s mind was having trouble wrapping itself around her words. Quit? Could she even do that?

“If you cared about us at all you’d have told us” he said quietly “You’d have prepared us. But you didn’t do any of that. You just pretended. Everything about the three of us is a lie isn’t it? We’re not friends. We’re not allies. We don’t even really like each other. We’re too different. Were we just means to an end for you?” he shook his head and turned his back on his sensei “Did you lead us here to let us die?”

“You weren’t supposed to..” Hinata tried again

“I may be a doofus and I may do stupid things” Satoshi interrupted “But I know that in the shinobi world..plans never go the way they are written down”

He left as well, leaving Hinata alone with Hana and the rouge.

------

Hana stood there silent as her teammates said their words and left. She could see the hurt in her sensei’s eyes. She felt betrayed yes, but would she turn on her sensei in the heat of battle. No, she would stay and fight. Hinata didn’t get to the rank she was at because she lied. Her sister was murdered by her ex lover. That was harsh all on its own. To pass the opportunity to avenge her sister no matter the smallest of chance, Hana couldn’t blame her. She would stay.

“So. Is this the part where you leave me as well?” Hinata asked.

Hana slowly shook her head no. She was disappointed and hurt. She would however help make that bastard pay!

“Well. Your a screw up with your own life and now your a screw up with your own squad” Toshiro chuckled “You had an Uchiha but she left you to die and that other kid looked more useless than a dry bucket of paint! You hit me with all you had but failed and now the only reinforcements you get is a little no named girl!” he laughed out loud “Now all that’s left to do is kill you and the girl off, take Zaria and head on off into the moonlight” he blinked, activating his byakugan and took a step forward and thrust his palm forwards at Hana

“Eight Trigrams Vaccum Palm!!!” he roared

Hinata’s eyes widened and she grabbed Hana, pulling her into her as a invisible force rushed by where she had just been standing

“That move would have shut down your heart on impact” Hinata said quickly and looked over at Toshiro

“Oh, so you actually care?” he smirked

“Of course I care” Hinata took a step forward, slipping back into her battle stance “Because she’s part of my squad”

“Your squad abandoned you” Toshiro replied

“But that doesn’t mean i’ll ever abandon them!!” Hinata rushed in lashing out with one palm strike after another, Toshiro dodging them all with ease. From the looks of it he seemed to be faster than Hinata. Hana was worried, she didn’t have the skills necessary to help, and her sensei needed help, Hana knew it! But her low level wind attacks weren’t much good against a level S rogue ninja. Hinata relentlessly kept at it but she was beginning to tire and Hana didn’t need byakugan to see that. Toshiro however, seemed just fine. In fact, he had dodged every strike and hadn’t broken a single sweat. Hana stared in awe at such speed. Hinata, then activated Byakugan.

‘She wasn’t using it all this time?! Why though?’ wondered Hana in shock.

Toshiro jumped back mocking her (“Is this really the best you can do?!”) as he also activated his Byakugan. Their movements were fast, so fast that Hana missed some every few seconds. They clashed over and over one taking a hit then the other. Hinata seeming to be a step or two behind the entire time. Toshiro was not letting up. Hinata could barely focus her chakra before he would strike again causing her to dodge. It was in one of those moments that he landed a solid hit. A palm right in her stomach. Hinata stumbled, coughing up blood and Toshiro buried a poisoned kunai in her thigh. She dropped to the ground in pain. It was paralysis poison. Hana screamed out in horror as Hinata collapsed on the ground. Not thinking straight Hana charged forward forming the hand signs for her jutsu.

“Wind Style: Spiraling Wind Ball!!!!” yelled Hana as she met the man with her jutsu. He caught it

“A weak, useless little girl thinks she can hurt me” he chuckled “Not in this lifetime”

‘This rotten bastard is holding my jutsu as if it were a play thing...’ thought Hana.

“I cant believe this is the best you got kid. I can hold you off with one hand and injure your sensei with the other.” said Toshiro as he pulled out another poison dipped kunai.

“NO. YOU. WONT!!!” screamed Hana as the Spiraling Wind Ball began to expand, getting larger and larger.

In his shock Toshiro didn’t have time to prepare any sort of counter measure. The ball blew up in his face as Hana jumped back, breathing heavily. When the dust cleared he stood there holding his ribs.

“You little bitch” he hissed, not amused in the least “You broke my ribs! I will get you for this. I swear it, You. will. die. You, your sensei, those other two brats. I’ll get you” threatened Toshiro right before he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“N..Nice job Hana” Hinata coughed, smiling at her student. Hana nodded and walked over to the coffin. Raising the lid, Hana lifted Zaria out of it. She was asleep. Maybe some sort of genjutsu?

“Lets get her back to her dad” Hinata said, shakily getting to her feet. Hana nodded and the two began to walk

“So are you going to explain what’s going on?” Hana asked “Considering I’m the only one still here? What was so important that you felt the need to go through all of this?”

Hinata sighed, staring off into the distance for a moment.

Then she began to speak.

-----

Satoshi sat on his bed, legs crossed and staring at his bed lost in thought.

I should have stayed.

He shook his head at the traitorous thought and laid down, head in his pillow. How could Hinata sensei do that to them? Satoshi was sure he’d have helped her if she wanted to go on some sort of revenge quest. He liked to think himself as a loyal fellow. But if you were going to lie to him...he couldn’t stand behind that.

“I wasn’t alone” he muttered aloud “Amaya actually quit the squad over this. I did the right thing..”

But he wasn’t so sure. He knew that he didn’t want to quit the squad. He had fun with Hana and even Amaya. He knew they were friends even though he told Hinata differently. Satoshi had a bad habit of yelling things he didn’t mean when he was distressed.

“I wonder what Amaya’s doing” Satoshi hopped off his bed “Maybe she’ll know what to do”

He left his room and knocked on Amaya’s door, slowly opening it to find...

Nothing. Amaya had packed up her things and left. Satoshi sighed, eyes actually prickling with tears. He was alone.

“Satoshi?”

The boy turned around, spinning on his heel, to see Hinata and Hana standing there. Satoshi looked at them both with teary eyes before quickly covering it up with an angry glance

“What do you want?” he demanded roughly

“To talk” Hinata replied “To tell you what I should have told you before we started this mission”

Satoshi simply looked at her for a moment before pushing past her and into his room, where the two followed.

“Well?” he said, his back to her “Start talking”

Hinata took a deep breath, wincing a little as she prepared to relive what might be her darkest of hours.

“It all began about a year or so after Naruto became Hokage and about six after the fourth shinobi world war had ended....”
 

KingdomKey

Gold Member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,265
Awards
26
Age
30
Wow. Amaya and Satoshi sure did have a lot to get off of their chests. I'm proud of Hana for choosing to stay with Hinata. Even after learning the truth about their mission and taking the situation better then her other two teammates. Hearing Hinata say "But that doesn't mean I'll ever abandon them!!" was a very touching moment. I'm impressed with Hana's jutsu too and seeing her progress with it even further.

I look forward to finding out where Amaya went off to and the flashback, Hinata has to tell Satoshi and Hana.
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Messages
2,240
Awards
3
Age
26
Location
In the great wide somewhere~
Some punctuation errors, and homophone confusion like your vs you're throughout.

Wow, I hadn't imagined that everyone would react that way when they found out. They were somewhat justified in being mad about the implications from their point of view, but abandoning their sensei? Even if they hadn't spent a lot of time together they were just learning the importance of teamwork and what it meant to be on a squad together... And I wonder what exactly Hinata has to say now. I'm glad Hana stayed behind and managed to be of use to Hinata, that was a good surprise. Really dramatic.

I can't wait to see where it goes from here. :D
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top