Help/Support ► Parents are separating

[Gatorade]

My parents called me downstairs yesterday and said we needed to have a talk. I figured I knew what it was about and I was right; they were separating. My dad is in the process of buying a house about 5 minutes away, which is good because he's so close.

I am close with both my parents so it makes it harder. But the good thing is, it's not one of those ugly divorces where there is custody trouble and the parents hate each other and all that. They are just unhappy with each other. Nonetheless, this is just as emotionally straining as any other divorces.

I'm sure some people in the KHI community have experienced something like this and I'd really appreciate some advice or something. I don't even know what to do, as I've never been through this before obviously. So yeah, advice would be great. Thanks.

 

[Chimubar]

That sucks but since your 15 you should be able to handle it emotionally. Have your parents told you the full story??

 

[Gatorade]

That sucks but since your 15 you should be able to handle it emotionally. Have your parents told you the full story??

Well yeah I can handle it, I'm not gonna like go emo or anything. I'm still upset though and understandably so. My family has been perfect (seemingly) since I was born. I don't understand it.

The only thing they really told me is that they were unhappy and they weren't getting along and there was nothing they could do to fix it. They tried counseling and all that stuff and none of it apparently worked.

Another good thing is that I'm not really afraid to approach my parents and ask questions about it, which is good. I will be asking those questions later though because it's a little too early for everyone.

 

[Chimubar]

Alright well what your planning is good just make sure its not to soon. Like after they seperate like sit each of them down and talk to them individually.

 

[keybladelegacy]

My parents got divorced when i was about 10. It was sad really because i didnt know what was going on and i just didnt know what was happening. But one night i had to go to the restroom and heard my mom talking on the phone with my dad and she was yelling at him and i found out why they got divorced. Besides that my house was under my dads name and he kicked us out. And we moved into an apartment and then a house but things have worked for the better. I met new friends and im just fine living with my mom. Not for a second i want to back to being a whole family. Im happy just the way it is, I guess that things happen for a reason. You just need to think things through, it may not makes sense now but it will.

 

[Gatorade]

Alright well what your planning is good just make sure its not to soon. Like after they seperate like sit each of them down and talk to them individually.

Yeah I guess so.

Today my dad, my sister, and I are going out to look at furniture for my new room and I have no clue what to get....

Edit@KBL- Wow I'm sorry to hear that. You had it worse then me. My situation is probably the best comparing to other divorce situations, but it still sucks, ya know?

 

[Chimubar]

My parents divorced when I was 2 months old so Im not much help in these situations. But it seems you got it figured out

 

[XIV-Lawliettre]

My parents have not divorced but I have friends who's parents have actually separated, I think you should let it be, I mean there's nothing worse than a awkward loving family, but you have to make sure they both get your custody the way you all want to have it.

My Mom says (she is a psychologist) that you should try to find out if they have tried to work it out in the senses they dont feel okay about, and in by any means make sure your parents finish all their business (emotional and educational) oh and also that you watch out for "Parental Alienation" whenever your family is talking about why they got separated whether they are together in the same room or alone with you done let anything they say about each other affect you they are still your family and if you love them both you shouldn't take sides!

 

[Gatorade]

My parents have not divorced but I have friends who's parents have actually separated, I think you should let it be, I mean there's nothing worse than a awkward loving family, but you have to make sure they both get your custody the way you all want to have it.

My Mom says (she is a psychologist) that you should try to find out if they have tried to work it out in the senses they dont feel okay about, and in by any means make sure your parents finish all their business (emotional and educational) oh and also that you watch out for "Parental Alienation" whenever your family is talking about why they got separated whether they are together in the same room or alone with you done let anything they say about each other affect you they are still your family and if you love them both you shouldn't take sides!

In response to the custody thing, the custody is not a problem. We haven't worked it out but I'll probably just stay at my dad's every other weekend or something. It doesn't matter cuz it's only 5 minutes down the road.

Thanks for your help from your mom, it is appreciated. I don't really know how to respond to it, but I have read it and will remember it for when I need help and stuff like that. So thanks.

 

[Siren]

Live your life as normally as possible. If you want to see your dad at specific times, ask to see him. If you don't want to, just say that you don't want to. It works both ways, of course; because he lives close by, it's not like you're going to be that out of touch with him.

It seems like they're handling it in a mature manner, and they seem to be on decent terms with each other. That's better than when my parents were separated (they got back together, but whatever), and the only reason they really spoke to each other was because of us kids.

But from the sounds of things, the only real changes will be having to travel to see your father, and then the inevitabality of having to watch your mother date other men.

 

[Lycanthrope]

My parents are divorced. Luckily, my mom filed while my father was in the Virginia prison system, and he's on probation as of last week and cannot come up from Virginia.

Really, every divorce is different and the whole situation varies on how it affects the parents and children. All you can do is take it in and hope for the best to come out of the situation. At least you seem like your situation is rather civil.

 

[XIV-Lawliettre]

Thanks for your help from your mom, it is appreciated. I don't really know how to respond to it, but I have read it and will remember it for when I need help and stuff like that. So thanks.

Im glad my mom helped, everytime someone needs emotional help on a forum my mom writes a little something, she knows what she is talking about within the limit ( the limit established by the fact she doesn't know you or the situation that well) Well good luck with that ;D

 

[scubasteve]

i don't have any advice to give

 

[Chimubar]

Why because your parents arent divorced? Just wondering

 

[VideoGameAddic]

my parents are getting divored and my dad's moving tomorrow but i'm 10 and a girl so i can't really handle it that well i'm so unlucky also because i will only be able to see him once a month or once out of three months :..(

 

[XIV-Lawliettre]

my parents are getting divored and my dad's moving tomorrow but i'm 10 and a girl so i can't really handle it that well i'm so unlucky also because i will only be able to see him once a month or once out of three months :..(

WOW! Im a girl too!(my sister) you must be feeling super down, my family is together, even though its not all lovey dovey all the time, I advice you the same way I advice gatorade, but because you are a girl and you are younger I just think you should absolutely not "parental alienate" with your mom or your dad (your mom would be more likely since you admire her as a woman (I suppose) you should by these years of your life just mind your things keep being happy keep playing with your friends, don´t try anything wrong like drugs, alcohol or anything kinky just enjoy life you have it right before you don't let this distract you and get past it without enjoying it ;D

(my mom) My daughter said it just have a sweet life, best of lucks! and don't worry about it! leave it to your mom and dad and maybe yourself but later on!

 

[Gatorade]

Live your life as normally as possible. If you want to see your dad at specific times, ask to see him. If you don't want to, just say that you don't want to. It works both ways, of course; because he lives close by, it's not like you're going to be that out of touch with him.

It seems like they're handling it in a mature manner, and they seem to be on decent terms with each other. That's better than when my parents were separated (they got back together, but whatever), and the only reason they really spoke to each other was because of us kids.

But from the sounds of things, the only real changes will be having to travel to see your father, and then the inevitabality of having to watch your mother date other men.

Yeah, it's definitely one of the best divorce situations I could ask for, you know what I mean? I'm happy about that. And about my mom dating other people... She won't for a while because they said they're not going to file for divorce yet so we'll wait and see about that part.

My parents are divorced. Luckily, my mom filed while my father was in the Virginia prison system, and he's on probation as of last week and cannot come up from Virginia.

Really, every divorce is different and the whole situation varies on how it affects the parents and children. All you can do is take it in and hope for the best to come out of the situation. At least you seem like your situation is rather civil.

Fortunately, it is very civil. Like I said, I'm glad about that. I'm sorry about your situation, it doesn't sound too great.

i don't have any advice to give

Well thanks for the effort.

my parents are getting divored and my dad's moving tomorrow but i'm 10 and a girl so i can't really handle it that well i'm so unlucky also because i will only be able to see him once a month or once out of three months :..(

Ouch, that sucks. I'm sorry. Well if you need someone to vent to, I'm here. We're basically going through the same stuff.

 

[Sango la dango]

My parents divorced when I was 7 or 8, she moved 15 hours away from us and I took it really hard, I was home from school for days, but I tried to think of something else. And after the second time I was visiting her and a few phone calls I started to accept it, after a while I think you will accept it too. ^^

 

[Chimubar]

It wont be much of a difference considering all you had to do is walk five minutes to see your dad. Think of it this way two christmas's. Thats the only good thing about any divorce.

 

[Firo]

Just talk to them. I don't really have anything else to give.