• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

original | Our Last Summer



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS

Oracle Spockanort

written in the stars
Staff member
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
35,552
Awards
96
Age
32
Location
California
Website
twitter.com
So I just found some old short piece I had written some years ago. It had been for one of the Summer Challenges originally, but I didn't have it in me to bear my heart to the world so I didn't even bother posting it. It's short, though.

I had a really great friend once, and somehow after eight years of friendship we drifted apart. It still hurts to think about it, even worse knowing that one of my other best friends sees her from time to time whenever she is in town. Because of what happened way back when I hurt a lot of other amazing people in my life, and it took me a long time to get over it. I don't think I really I was truly okay until 2015/2016.

But yeah, I thought that writing something like this back during that Summer Challenge way back when would be a nice final pin on the whole ordeal.



Last times are funny because they are characterized by how you perceive what an “ending” is. I think I remember the last time we saw each other as best friends, for it is the only moment that stands out in my mind because my thought the whole day was “Are you really here with me or are we just going through the motions?”

You invited me to go out with you and your family to your favorite theme park as a birthday gift to yourself before you had to fly back to the east coast for school. I woke up excited; we hadn’t spent much time together over the summer so this was one of those opportunities to hang out and just have fun like the old days.

It wasn’t until I got into the van with you an hour later and you seemed distant and distracted that I realized that maybe we wouldn’t have that kind of day. I’ve been around you when you’ve been in a melancholic mood, and I knew we hadn’t seen each other in over five months but we had always been in sync with each other.

Reading you was easier than reading myself. I knew the words you’d speak before they ever left your mouth. I thought that it was the same for you, and I thought that you’d be happy to see me.

The day marched forward ever so slowly, and even as we rode on your favorite rides I could tell there was this gaping maw between us that I could not cross. Your smiles were turned to your family, and I stood off to the distance watching your younger cousins while you convinced your auntie to buy you a churro and wondered what I would have to do to make you look at me.

“Are you having fun?” I asked you as the sun crept down ever more slowly into the horizon. The summer air taking on a chill that had us both putting on our jackets, and I remember smiling at you, unsure and afraid.

Those weren’t the words I wanted to say, but I couldn't bring myself to ask the question that burned on my tongue like a white hot flame. I swallowed it down and felt it sear my throat—felt it tearing my stomach apart in fear.

You looked at me and despite how cold you had been to me I still found myself captivated by your beauty. Your brown eyes were shadowed as you faced away from the orange light of the sunset, and a small smile came on your face. “Yeah, because you’re here.”

Perhaps I imagined the insurmountable distance between us. Perhaps I missed something and misunderstood you the whole day.

The flame that was ripping me into pieces died down into a soft ember, filling me with a warmth that gave me a renewed confidence in what we were to each other for the rest of the evening.

The day ended with joy and bliss, and yet I knew there was something final about it. I didn’t see you for the rest of the summer and I didn’t hear from you for the rest of the year or really at all even after that.
 

Nutari

The Scotsman
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
2,855
Awards
7
Location
Milwaukee
Delightfully short prose, MS.

If it weren't apparent before from the way you speak around the forums, you have an excellent written voice. As much as this is a memoir of your last day with a dear friend, it functions as a means to make your reader reflect as well.

Being reminded that I've probably said numerous final goodbyes without realizing it is a sobering thought. Thanks for sharing a little piece of yourself with us!
 
Back
Top