The One With The Reference
Someone, a female, gripped the palm, inched for the torso, hesitating, only to jolt Xoje awake. Breath light, he would sigh as he sat. Her voice, again. "Uh oh." She thought aloud. "Somebody drank the inoxicant. I told them to wait for you, but they drank it anyway." Pause; Xoje eyeing shattered glass, empty cans, remnants of his 27th vodka. "There is still some left, though, if you hurry back."
He didn't move. Her tone lowered.
"Do you think I'm trying to trick you with reverse psychology? Seriously now..."
At this, Xoje got to his feet, attention directed to a pile of ashes. Previously, the door.
"That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the organism catalytic enclosure unit. It made entrance for comrades. Nice job breaking it, drunkard."
As inviting as it looked, he'd decide to turn the other way, in search of alcohol.
"You're not even going the right way. Where do you think you're going? Because I don't think you're going where you think you're going."
He opened a portal, stepped through, and emerged. Nothing. Just another, seemingly deserted, room.
"I see you."
Three shots, none of the alcoholic variety. Once again; that voice.
"I am pleased that you made it through the doorway where I pretended I was going to scold you. I am very, very happy for your success. I am throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Please place the glass on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party."
Flustering, Xoje began to lunge at air. He heard some slight 'clang', and gazed downward. A can, specifically, the leftover, would spill, and gradually release its flat contents.
Pause, moreso than beforehand. "Time out for a second ...that wasn't supposed to happen. Did you see that thing that spilled out of there? What is that? It's not the intoxicant- I've never seen it before." She'd sigh. "Never mind- it's a mystery I'll solve later... by myself...because you'll be drunk."
Regardless, he leant to it.
"My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow. I don't want to tell you your business, but if it were me I'd leave that thing alone."
Sensing fluid, the can was brought to a lip...
"Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much." Said the voice, in violent tantrum. "Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?"
It slithered in...
"You know I only kept you sober this long because I was curious about your behavior, but you managed to destroy that part of me."
He spat. Empty. Tasteless. No intoxication, no vodka; no sweet, ever delightful, ever remarkable, ever inticing Everclear.
An eruption, which trailed from floor, to ceiling.
Throughout headquarter's entirety.
"The beer is a lie!"